Hello there! If you need advice you have come to the right place. I have been told by many I should have been a therapist, I love to help people and I will never steer you in the wrong direction.
Member Since: November 6, 2007
Answers: 8
Last Update: November 12, 2007
Visitors: 2203
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I just don’t know what to do anymore. My dad treats me as if I don’t exist half the time. He puts me in the middle of this huge double standard. He does everything for my brothers and leaves me to work everything out on my own. We retired early and we have no money. Every month at least two utilities get shut off and I have to pay most of the bill.
My mom is a wreck. She goes from being happy to wanting to kill herself. I can’t take it. If I do one little thing wrong she tells me that I don’t care about her and that she should just die. Then tells me I will miss her when she’s gone.
I’m so tired of acting like I’m okay. I’m not. My life is slowly falling apart. I fake happy everyday. Everyone I go to school with sees the happy me. I’m just so tired of putting on this show. It’s too hard. Between life at home, faking happy, school, and my friends I’m stretched too thin.
My family isn’t the only thing pulling me apart. People at school just don’t seem to acknowledge that I’m there. I’ve spent three and a half years with these people and most of them couldn’t tell me a thing a about me. I go out of my way to be nice and try to be perfect. I just don’t know what people want. I spent freshman through junior year putting on a fake me. No one liked that person so I tried being myself. Still no one likes me.
What have I done wrong to deserve such a minimal existence? I just can’t get away from it. I can’t move out on my own because I have no car and can’t find a job. I don’t think I have any friends that would take me and all my stuff in. I’m all out of options. So what now??? Someone please help me!!
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First off let me start by saying you are very strong person, you seem to have a lot on your plate and you are doing your best to handle it. However, you are only in High School and too young to be dealing with some of the things going on around you. The 4 years you spend in High School should be the best years of your life, you are growing into the person you are going to be in the outside world and your still finding out who you are. You should be having the time of your life right now!!
As for the kids in school, you should not have to "fake" anything, nor should you have to pretend or try to be perfect, because no one is perfect. The people in your school should like you for who you are. I am sure people will like you if you just give them a chance to know the real you! You said you went through 3 years of being fake, now that your trying to be the real you, maybe the kids still dont know if this is the real you or not so they are a little unsure. If someone still doesn't like the real you, then find a different friend, not everyone in the world is going to like you and want to be your friend, and you need to realize thats ok. they dont have to, just like I'm sure there are people you may not choose to associate with in life or at school. For every 1 person that doesn't want to talk to you there is another person that does. Surround yourself by your true friends, the people who know the real you, the ones who know how tough things are right now and still stand by you! You will always find out that when things go wrong in life you find out who your true friends are...It's not about having a lot of friends but having good friends!
As for your family, your father should not be putting you in the middle of anything, and from what you said above about your mother I almost get the impression that maybe she puts on the guilt trip because she feels bad, Obviouly your parents can see how your life is being affected and they can see what you go through at school, maybe she feels guilty for how things are turning out for you. Have you ever tried sitting down with your parents and saying "look mom and dad, this is what you guys do to me, and this is how I feel about it"...If you dont tell them, how will they know? You have to give people the benefit of the doubt and give them a chance to change things. Let your father know it hurts you when he does for your brothers and not for you.
Lastly, Please don't ever feel that your existence is minimal, we were all put on this earth for a reason and you are a very speacial person, who maybe just needs to surround yourself with different people. Soon you can go to college and meet all new friends! You have to believe in yourself before anyone else will. Look within and know you are a good person, you attract what you feel. If you feel down and upset and not liked that is exactly what will happen to you. Once you start to think positive and feel better about yourself you will attract positive into your life...Please feel free to email me if you ever just need someone to talk to..I hope things work out for you.
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OK...I want to leave my husband. He doesn't beat me or anything like that, we are just in a loveless marriage. I work a part time job right now, only making minimum wage. I was just wondering if anyone could tell me the steps I need to take on getting out on my own? Like, where do I find low income housing & things like that. I have 3 children by the way. Thanks for any advice you can give. (link)
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If you have truely fallen out of love then it will be smart to leave, but, if it's something that can be fixed by all means and for the sake of the children try and fix it. Make sure you are giving your all and you have exhausted every option before divorce, so at least you can look at yourself and your kids and say "hey at least I tried" Figure out why your not happy, are you spending time together? Doing things as a family? One thing I have noticed when relationships begin to fail it's because people have a tendency to fall into a routine, and get too comfortable. Try and keep things spiced up, do something differnt and make sure you are spending time alone. Have a date night without the kids! Try and rekindle the flame and if all else fails then you know what you have to do. If you do decide to leave you can turn to family or friends, I would then recommend getting a full time job, and since you have children your husband will be responsible to pay child support to you as well which will help you care for them.
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My husband always complaings that I don't initiate sex. I am a stay-at-home mom with two highly energetic, small children. I DO exercise and pay attention to my grooming/appearance but honestly, I NEVER FEEL LIKE INITIATING sex. What should I do? (link)
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As a mother I can understand where you are coming from. Try and look at if from your husbands point of view as well though. If he is always the one initiating sex with you it's only natural that there will be times where he is going to want to feel wanted, and attractive and he's going to want you to make the first move on him. No matter how good of shape you stay in or how you keep your appearance during the day, the fact of the matter is kids WILL WEAR YOU OUT! One weekend, leave him home with the kids, go out and spend the day in the spa, have YOU TIME get a manicure, pedicure, massage, maybe even get your hair done. you will feel great and look fabulous!! With your new DIVA look you will definitely be feeling sexy and you may just want to go home and seduce your husband ;-)
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I wanna make my boyfriend a mixed cd. We are in a long distance relationship and I want to mail him a mixed CD that I plan on putting together with great thought. But he's in college and I'm in highschool. Would it seem too "highschool" of me to do that? Do college kids even make mixed CDs for each other? Or is this a cute idea? I want to suprise him with the CD in the mail. Tell me what you think! (link)
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Age has nothing to do with it (so its def not a high school move)...I am 31 and I made a CD for my boyfriend, he absolutely loved it! If the songs have meaning to you go for it! Im sure he will love it and its a very sweet idea...
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I have been single for 10 months because my past relationship was with a guy I truely loved but he wasnt willing to devote himself to atleast calling me once a day to talk to me.
I have found this guy that I really like and He recently told me he liked me to. hes really nice, and not like most of the other guys i know. He is rude, he doesnt party much and hes not like most of the guys ive dated. I really like him but for some reason I get really shy around him (which isnt normal). The only thing Im afraid of is that Im going to push him away Like i do with alot of guys and i dont want to do that.
I think i push guys away when the treat me well but i dont understand why.
my question is. How do I try to losten up around him so that he knows i like him and so maybe we could move further and start dating. And how do I not push him away when this starts to happen?
Please help! (link)
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First off there is nothing wrong with being shy, some guys will even find that sexy. The problem here is not you being shy, its about you pushing guys away, and thats the issue you need to address before you even begin to worry about getting into a relationship. Maybe you fear getting hurt if you let someone get to close to you, only you can figure out why you push men away but once you find out why you do it, and you stop, I am sure you will have a happy and healthy relationship! Best of luck!!
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Hi. I'm looking to lose weight. I'm 5'8, 130 lbs. Any advice on how to drop 5 lbs? Thanks! (link)
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The first 10 pounds are the easiest to lose since its all water weight. Cardio is a big factor plus anyone who is trying to lose weight should also be eating right, you can still eat what you want just dont over do it! The portion of food you eat should be no bigger then the size of your fist.
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(female)
okay so i have really dark, thick hair on my arms, compared to other girls. Is there any way to dye it so its less noticeabe?
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Definitely use Nair, or get your arms waxed. What ever you do don't ever shave them because the hair will grow back more and it will grow in thicker! Hope that helps!
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Go here
http://uploads.ungrounded.net/294000/294533_What_Is_Love.swf
Click on the 5th arrow
What is that song? Not "What is Love," but the one that goes buy it, squeeze it, break it, fix it, ect.
THANKS SO MUCH! (link)
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Artist: Daft Punk. Song: "Technologic"
Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, melt - upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick - erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it...etc...
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