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its never going to happen to me :(
15/f
hi!! most of my best friends have boyfriends. Some of them even have 8 -yes, 8- other guys vying for them as well. Like if they broke up with their boyfriend, they would be asked out by 8 guys at once in a heart beat.
Me on the other hand, i can't even get asked out once. i've never had a boyfriend, a kiss, or even a real "i mean it" type of hug from a guy. I'm starting to get really lonely and also pissed off because im tired of being left out of plans becuase i don't have a date/boyfriend and i really want to be liked by atleast one guy (that i even remotely like-there are some guys who like me, but they #1 don't have enough courage to tell me/ask me out and #2 they are gross (don't brush hair, bad BO and bad breath, and don't wash clothes).
how do i get someone to like me and how do i flirt with a guy to get their attention to ask me out.
if you could PLEASE help me, i would be really really really happy and grateful.
(o, i forgot to mention, im really shy and not good at starting conversations or keeping them going)
thanks so much and sorry this is so long
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I'm alike with the shyness! But I swallow it and try to be outgoing, and it really does snatch up guys' attention. And yeah, just flaunt the fact that you're confident and love yourself, guys tend to dig that =D
(Not to be mistaken for vanity, I just mean high self-esteem and such).
As for flirting? Resting on their shoulder, asking for a hug, giggle and smile a lot, and load on the cute!
Best of luck!
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I've been there. And my best advice is: STOP WORRYING ABOUT IT. When I was that age, I spent so much time worrying about getting a boyfriend that I stopped focusing in school, failed English (my native language! How pathetic is that?), and for what? It didn't get me a boyfriend. Focus on more important things, such as your schoolwork and just enjoying yourself without a boyfriend. Honestly, a lot of times girls would say they envied me for not having a boyfriend (this still baffles me. If they didn't want a boyfriends, why not dump them?) because I had more time to myself. Now, you're not remotely interested in the guys that do show they like you...that's fine. And it's more proof that you don't need to worry about this right now. When you go to college, or get a full time job, there will be an entirely new variety of people to meet, and it's ridiculous to think that there's nobody in the world who you can be with.
Oh, and I'm also very shy. But you're going to have to get over that! Because if you don't, nothing will ever happen! Smile at them, meet their eyes, just be friendly! Don't have anything to talk about? Try asking a guy about himself! "What do you want to study in college?" "What's your favorite sports team?" "Who is your favorite Renaissance painter?" (Adjust according to who the guy is and what he is into.) Watch as their eyes light up and they go on and on about how awesome they are. And maybe they'll be interested in one of the same things you are, and you can politely interrupt by saying, "Oh! I like that too..." and then talk about why you like it. Instant conversation. Get his AIM screen name or phone number. When it's someone I just met, I find it easier to talk online because I can express myself better through writing.
But honestly, if there's nobody at your school that you feel is right for you, I really do think you should focus on other things right now. Good things come to those who wait. ;) And the same conversation techniques will work on guys you meet later in life.
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Don't worry so much about it, as this is quite common. There really is so much more to life - relationships are fun, but also time consuming and can be complicated. Don't beat yourself down, either. You say that there are guys that like you that are gross and smelly. How un-gross and hygienic are the 8 guys that like this friend of yours?
Before you consider asking a guy out, it would probably be best to get to know them as friends, or at least start developing feelings for one of them. For this it's best to play the field, or get involved in social situations where you are likely to meet people. If starting and maintaining conversations are not your forte, it would probably be best to go to a party/social get together with friends and to stand near groups of talking people whenever you see them. By this I don't mean be stalkerish or join groups of people that obviously know each other very well. It basically means you see a cluster of talking people forming say, before class when the teacher hasn't arrived yet. There is usually one person talking a lot, so be polite and listen. Also look for the bored stragglers that look like they have a lot to say but are not talking for whatever reason, or the people on the outskirts of the group. They will likely start talking to you. To get a conversation going, a smile is good, as well you could say something really random and relevant to get the conversation going (like - "where is x teacher" if the group has formed because said teacher is not there. Or "it's so cold today". Not the most exciting topic but no one actually cares because it's the socializing that's most important). Other good things to do are to join lots of clubs/ teams after school. If you automatically meet lots of people after school and do some sort of activity with them then meeting guys is easier. Once you have met people, or have had conversations with them, say hi to them whenever you pass them by in the halls. Then they are reminded of who you are, and it will be easier to start talking to them the next time.
To actually flirt with a guy - it's probably a little different with everyone. You can look it up online and get thousands of results. From experience, looking interested is really important, as is smiling and having fun with it. A lot of flirting just comes from teasing a guy, and having them tease you. You could jokingly accuse them of something, for example, or steal something of theirs (I want your scarf!). Once you know the guy more or if you actually like the guy, the teasing gets a little more physical, mostly on it's own. A lot of flirting is also in the body language. It's not really about looking smart or proving a point (though these are good convos to have with guys anyway), so you're probably going to look more relaxed and lean in closer. You could try, for example, playing with a guy's hair. In general, though, you should probably get to know guys somewhat before flirting.
To actually get a guy to ask you out, you flirt more with him if he flirts back. And if he's lazy you ask him out yourself! Maybe not directly. But you know. Ask the guy to go somewhere that you always go ANYWAY so there is no pressure.
All things considered, don't look desperate, and don't actually try to get a boyfriend for the sake of having one, ever. This doesn't usually work out. Instead, try being more social, and having fun with your single-dom. If you are being left out because of your status, talk to friends about it. Tell them you want to be invited to x event anyway, and that they shouldn't be leaving you out for stupid reasons (it is stupid). If the plan is a dance or other such event, find anyone who is single and will go with you, or just go alone and with your friends. If your close friends are solely paying attention to significant others at said events, find single friends and go in a giant single people mob.
Don't worry so much, use the single people mob to engulf all of the couples and the smelly boys =]. But on a more serious note, don't worry about it so much. You will be in relationships as you age, and many seem to think that these are the ones really worth having, anyway. For now enjoy your freedom, work on your shyness, and remember that whatever develops will come with time.
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You are 15 years old. Although it's natural to be jealous your friends have boyfriends, it's nothing to stress over. You have plenty of time for boyfriends and I promise you, your time will come.
See a boy you like? Smile at him. Say hi when you see him. It's not difficult. Once you've said hi a few times, the conversation will build up to "how are you/what are you up to" etc etc.
Look at this:
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More here:
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Honestly, if you haven't met someone by 15, that does not mean you will never meet someone. I would actually say the majority of people have not been in a relationship by the time they turn 15. Guys (myself included) tend to be very immature at that age. I know because my brother just turned 16. Try to understand that just about all 15 year olds are fairly immature. They treat everyone horribly, including their friends, they date for all the wrong reasons, including who's the most attractive and popular, and are notoriously bad at serious relationships. If you want a guy though, try to get in good with his friends. The number one thing that will turn a 15 year-old guy off is if his friends say it's a bad idea. It also would probably be easier for you to approach his friends with intentions of friendship than to approach a guy you like with intentions of romance. Talking to guys is easy. We love to talk about ourselves. Honestly, at 15, I thought I was god's gift to mankind, and so did most of my friends. Just ask them a question and let them go on for days. If you don't get a guy at this age, consider yourself lucky, not unfortunate. I can almost promise you will not have a truly meaningful relationship until your last year of high school, and probably not until after you've graduated.
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