Notice: From now on if you want to tell me something or ask me a question that has nothing to do with advice, you can IM me at thefishaim. Thank you! - The Fish.

Question: "I like someone, but I don't know if they like me, how can I tell?"
Answer: Everybody is different, I have no way of knowing how your crush expresses him/herself. The best way is to just ask them, you'll never get anywhere if you don't.

I'm sorry to be rude, but these are the only questions I have been seeing in my inbox, and I am tired of them. I won't be answering them anymore.

Other random advice: Slinkies are FUN!


so my firend said that guys like asain girls, i asked why and she said its cuz their "tighter" im guessing tighter down there. Is that true? and do guys really care about that all that much?

No, that's not true, just ask an Asian girl. A lot of guys are attracted to Asian women, but it really doesn't matter. Many people are attracted to someone of a different race and/or culture because it's different. Others just believe stupid stereotypes about a particular group. Mainly it's just a "type" thing...I'm sure there's a certain type of guy you look for, or a certain type that you avoid. But a guy who rejects you because you aren't Asian, is just superficial and not worth your time.



i was wonndering if rubbing your vagina until it feels really good is called masterbating
because all my little cousins do it and i used to do it when i was little.if its not, then what is it?

Yes, that's masturbating.

From dictionary.com: Masturbation - the stimulation or manipulation of one's own genitals, esp. to orgasm; sexual self-gratification.

It's quite common for little kids to do it.

-The fish


i have really have bad cramo that hurt realy bad!!!!! it hurts any suggestions on cramps???? :( im dying.....ahhhh!!!!!

I usually take ibuprofen if it gets really bad, but you could also take a long, hot shower, or wet a face cloth with hot water, place it on your belly, and lie down for a while. Comfort food is helpful also, a lot of women use chocolate, but don't overdo it.

- The Fish :)


can someone tell me about the phrase people say in frustration: "jesus christ!" why do people say that as:

Jesus (Christ) Show phonetics
exclamation (ALSO Christ) INFORMAL
an expression of surprise, shock or annoyance. Some people might consider this offensive:
Jesus, just look what a mess they've made!

and its considered taking his name in vain:

take sb's name in vain UK HUMOROUS
to criticize someone or talk about someone without respect, especially when they are not there

i dont know if jesus christ is technically "there" or not but "god is everywhere"?

so.. im confused. how did saying christ's name when you're annoyed originate? and its a sign of disrespect because youre saying that for when something bad happens?

btw, is "oh my god" also bad?

People have been swearing since language was invented.

http://people.howstuffworks.com/swearing.htm has some information, but I can't find much else. It's actually quite interesting. If you want to learn about the history of words and their usage, you should study etymology, which is basically the study of the history of words.

Good luck with that!

- The Fish :)



lately i've been really horny. i try fingering myself but that doesn't really cure it at all. how do i stip getting like this, or how can i satisfy myself better if you know what i mean?


It's a learning process. If what you're doing isn't working, try something else. Change speed or direction, or your position. And never underestimate the power of fantasy! I've read that the brain is the most sexual part of the body, and I believe it. Any and every dirty thought you have, just go with it.

- The Fish :)


Ugh. I can't stop! I want to, but I always can't!! I need tips on how to STOP!!!!

Best way is just to stop cold turkey. It's all about will power.

Here are some things you could do instead:
- Put your imagination to better use by writing a story, probably an erotic one if you want to put all that horniness to work as well.
- Play with a slinky. Seriously, they are awesome. I could do that for hours. But don't use it to scare the cat, that's mean.
- You can substitute the slinky with a medium-sized Super Ball (the 50 cent ones that you can get at almost any grocery store) that you throw and catch. Just as fun and doesn't scare the cat.
- Go for a walk.
- Do little household chores, like taking out the garbage or doing the dishes.
- Have a slumber party.
- Stare at the ceiling.
- Take up bird-watching.
- Answer questions on Advicenators.
- Add Stumble Upon to your browser, and find some new and interesting sites.
- Try to make a new friend.
- Make a list of more things that you can do.

If all else fails, change your passwords for your instant messengers and tell the program not to save it. Make it really hard, so that you'll forget. Do not make any new screen names.

-The Fish :)


what does this mean (talking about hair in GUYS):

-natural flippy
-buzz cut
-a dead animal
-gelled flippy

Natural flippy is kind of like this: http://www.disneystars.zoomshare.com/my_images/152v8491_1.jpg . Gelled flippy is the same, but the person needs gel to accomplish it.

Buzz cut is shaved. Think army.

Emo is probably dyed black, with bangs that cover the eyes.

Like this: http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/9489/154hv8.jpg

Or this:

A dead animal just means it's really bad, as in, "Omg, you look like you have a dead animal on your head!"

-The Fish :)


what are mellow guys? mellow people?

how about spontaneous girls? or laid-back?

Mellow - Calm, relaxed, "chill".

Mellow guys - Males who are mellow.

Mellow people - People of either gender who are mellow.

Spontaneous - Impulsive, uncontrolled, free spirited, random.

Spontenous girls - Females who are spontaneous.

Laid-back - Mellow.

For future reference, you can use www.dictionary.com and www.thesaurus.com for any of your definition needs.

-The Fish :)


Does anal sex feel as good/is as satisifying for
a girl as regular sex is?

From what I've heard, it's pretty painful for a woman, but feels good for a guy. But some women enjoy it. It depends on personal preference.


I noticed your following answer to a question that was posted and I was wondering how you came to your conclusion? Have you tried this service? Do you know of someone who has? Did you research this and find some evidence pointing to your answer you gave?

I happened to have tried this service, not only as a person in need of help but I also donated to a stranger in need...

Also why do you think that some other charity is worthwhile and legitimate and someones personal needs are not... as you stated?

Just curious why you took the time to answer this in a negative fashion without any apparent knowledge of the organization!!!

Thanks for your time,

thefish answered Thursday November 15 2007, 12:51 pm:
It looks like a scam to me. There are plenty of scholarships, loans, and jobs you can get to pay for your tuition. Honestly, I don't think anybody would be willing to donate for a stranger to get something they want, when they can spend their money on legitimate charities. Don't take this risk. ;-)

Technically, this isn't an advice question, but I'll answer it anyway.

No, I haven't tried this service.

I don't think that I need evidence for my answer, which was, "It looks like a scam to me." I did not say it was a scam, I said that's what it looked like. Also, to me, it didn't seem like a worthwhile charity. The website in question isn't loading right now, but I vaguely remember people listing items that they want, not things that they NEED. Basic needs are food, water, and air. Beyond that, shelter, clothing, and health care are also things that people need. Tuition for college is not something a person needs, since college is a choice, and like I said, there ARE scholarships, loans, and work-studies. Personally, when I have my own bills to pay, I cannot see paying someone else's when they are perfectly capable of doing it themselves. That's not to say I don't believe that we should help people in actual need, I definitely do.

I don't think my answer was negative. It's true that I don't know anything about this service first hand, but that is why I view it as a risk. I did look through the website, and I may have even done a google search on it (forgive me for not knowing, but it was quite a while ago), but I couldn't find any information. If an organization asks me to pay money, but doesn't tell me clearly who gets the money is ending up in, I am skeptical and I view it as a risk. Charities DO rip people off, it's quite common. And if I think someone is in danger of being ripped off, I think it's fair to give them warning, which is what I did.

In the end, it's their choice if they do it or not. If it works out for them, great. But the OP asked my opinion, which is what I gave.


Edit: I'm glad. If you want to talk more, you can IM me at thefishaim.


what does it mean to be a virgin, does it mean you are sealed if so how do yo go for menstruation because intercourse and menstruation use the same path, or there is a small hole that every girl is born with if so how small is it


Everything you need to know about the female body is on that site.


I'm 15/f... Two years ago I was cast aside by my best friends for something out of my own control and I also got asked to leave the Christian school. Of course two years later I am going to a public school, have new friends and new life all that. But the people i left back at my old school that screwed me over are living the highschool life i wish I was living, it's all to easy for them. Is it because god just hates me?It doesn't make sense and it irks me to no end... it's two years I should be over this mess.

Sorry for the long question
thanks in advance

You probably won't like my answer. I'm not trying to be judgmental but it may sound that way.

From what I understand, you have nothing to complain about. So you don't have it as easy as your old friends. You still have it a lot better than most people in the world! Take a look at the big picture and be grateful for what you have.

I'm not saying that you should be totally selfless and become a Saint. Life is hard for everyone, it's just that everyone has different perspectives on what "hard" is. And sometimes life (or God, if you prefer), throws us challenges. And we have to rise to those challenges, and conquer them. Doing so will make you stronger as a person.


Isn't Christmas about the birth of Jesus and one of God's biggest miracles? So why do most atheist still celebrate it?

Well, a lot of Atheists were raised in Christian homes, and other members of their families are still Christian. Christmas is a time to spend with family, no matter what you believe.

Or, they might like the celebration of Christmas even if they don't believe in the religion. I knew a Buddhist girl who did this as well.

Also, Christmas has become so commercialized that, to many people, it's all about shopping for presents and "making the children happy".

I was raised Atheist, still am one, and we always celebrated Christmas in my home. For background, my father was raised Catholic and my mother was raised Protestant. They both changed their beliefs. I'll tell you that for us, it wasn't about presents and shopping, it was just for tradition, and to have a nice day that we would spend together, and to see family that we wouldn't ordinarily see. They did not hide the Christian meaning of the holiday from me. In fact, sometimes we would go to church on Christmas Eve. Even if you aren't religious, going to church sometimes can be nice.

History lesson time! I'll try not to rant. The 25th of December was originally a Pagan holiday, which was then made into "Christmas" by Christians trying to convert other people. This happens with all religions, as they spread, they tend to take over smaller religious groups. It is not always done forcefully, sometimes different religions simply integrate and blend their ideas.

So, when people today change their beliefs but still want to keep some things from the religion they were brought up in, it's really just blending of ideas.

I think the most important thing about Christmas is not the god you believe in, but just helping and loving people (though we should all do that year round, not just at Christmas). Yes, it is technically about the birth of Christ, but it also means different things to different people.

Also, there are no widely known Atheist holidays (or unholidays, whichever you prefer). Lately people have made attempts, but it will take a few centuries of tradition to get the ball rolling.


well okay im a 16/f and i live in katy,texas my name is nikita. well in my computer applications class there's this girl named nelma karina. & she black but doesn't act black at all and she acts really white. and she's really popular at my school i guess you could say. and she's really loud and gets a lot of attention. well anyways, well she told me that her and this other girl jessica rodriguez are both in cosmetology class and are doing this project where they pick someone to give a makeover. well she asked me if i wanted to do it becuase she says alot of people talk about me and say im messy and start drama. and i'll agree i've done some bad things and have said stuff about people becuase when people talk about me i get mad. and she said she wants to help me change that as well as my look. well i asked my friend jackie if nelma and her other friend jessica are in her cosmetology and she said no so nelma lied to me about that. and she wants me to take pics of myself to see what i need to imrove and pt on weight because im so skinny. and im not sure if she's really doing this as a cruel joke since she lied to me. and i really want to know should i do all this?? please help me!! asap!!!

I would not do it. The fact that she put you down shows that she is not truly concerned about you! This sounds an awful lot like a nasty trick to me. I think if you have any doubts about her you should definitely not trust her! Just say "No, thank you." and walk away from her. If you want to change yourself for yourself, do so, but what makes her so better than you?

Also, for future reference, you don't need your name and location. Age and gender will do.


Is there a way to see when a person on facebook that you ARENT friends with is online?

If that person has gone into their privacy settings and made it so that you can, yes. But I think you have to be in the same network as well.


I'm a 17 year old female and I have recently started having sex with my boyfriend. And..well the first and second time we tried it [firstly we barely did it at all because it hurt so much] I felt as if I needed to use the bathroom. I'm not really sure. I have talked to my friend about it and she feels the same way when she does it.

As in, when "it" goes in, I feel an urge to use the bathroom. But the thing is I DONT need to use the bathroom.

I have also talked to other people about this and they say that my body is totally strange. Anyway, the questions are; will I feel this way for the rest of my life? Is this just because I am new at this whole sex thing and will it go away soon?

Also this peeing urge is really bothersome, and really uncomfortable for me. Is there an explanation for this? Or a way to stop this urge permanently without NOT having sex. =) thank you

You know how guys ejaculate? Girls do it to.

I honestly cannot explain it any better than this site here: http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/ejacula.htm

[Warning: There are explicit images, but if you're having sex I think you can handle them.]

If that is too heavy for you to read, here is one quote that you might find helpful:

"Before a woman can learn to ejaculate, enjoy ejaculating, and enjoy sex in general she must accept all her bodily fluids as normal. She must not question the nature or quantity of her wetness, be it sweat, vaginal lubrication, menses, ejaculate, or liquid from her bladder. These fluids are a normal and natural part of women's lives. There is nothing that is inherently bad or harmful about them. A woman cannot allow herself to ejaculate and experience potentially earth-shattering orgasms if she cannot let go when the pressure or urge to ejaculate arises. Ladies, give yourself permission to get wet and messy. Give yourself permission to have fun and enjoy sex."

Other than that, I will just repeat that it is totally normal and tell you that I also found it uncomfortable at first, but I learned to embrace it. Don't listen to the people who say it's strange.

There is a good section of that page that describes the taboos about female body fluids. I think you'll benefit from reading the whole thing.



what is vaginal discharge? why does it happen

If you are who I think you are, I have already given you a link to www.the-clitoris.com. That website has more than enough information, really everything you need to know about the female body. I'm sorry, but I think you have too many questions about this subject for me to possibly answer. You seem to want to know everything about the female body, so read that website, or if you want something simpler, you can read a book written for young girls. Here is one, for only about ten dollars: http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happening-Girls-Revised-Third/dp/1557047642/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1195184880&sr=8-2

You may also check out your local library.

Other good people to ask would be your doctor, or a grown woman who is close to you and comfortable about discussing these things (your mother, perhaps?).

I'm sorry, it's not that I don't want to help, I just think that you have so many questions about this it would be better if you did the research for yourself. It's very good that you are curious, now go out there and learn!


im 13/f. im straigt but i always look up porn on the interrnet and love looking at naked girls. but im not a lesbian. im not even bi. but why do i like looking at it so much. like i get wet when i even think about it. i dont know why!


Well, you are only thirteen. It's possible that you are lesbian or bisexual, or even something else. Lots of people go through a period of confusion and experimentation at your age. And, believe me, I know how confusing it can be. But just because you like the female body doesn't necessarily mean you are a lesbian. Women ARE really hot, even my straight friends admit that. And besides that, if you are watching porn, it is designed to turn you on. For some people, the mere suggestion of sex can turn them on, and you are watching explicit sex. Besides that, everything is not black and white. We force ourselves into labels like "gay", "straight", and "bi", but sometimes people are just people, and we are attracted to other people, regardless of sex or gender. There are plenty of women who identify as straight who would still have sex with another woman...the world is not so narrow!


okay, so i have sorta a lot of guy friends
and i dont know what them for christmas
some ideas.

btw. 15/f and my friends are my age.

You can't go wrong with cookies.


How do I get rid of fat???

Does anyone know if the southe beach diet works????????????????????

You won't get fat if you spend most of your time thinking!

Sorry. Had to.

Sure, it "works", if you actually do it. Don't cheat. Drink plenty of water and YOU MUST EXERCISE. Every day. Diets don't work on their own, exercise is needed too.

Don't expect instant results, it takes time.

That's all.


<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker