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I told him I <3 Him
Hi! I told my bgf that i love him but not in love with him and not exaclty romantically but we were talking alone. I had hugged him bye and then was like wait 1 more thing and then i said I love you but im not IN love with you..." He was just like ok during this my hand was gently in his not exaclty holding hands but i had my hand in his which was cupped and i hugged him again and left. The other thing is we're not exactly friends w/benefits but he can't date until his next birthday (may!) and I don't even know if I want to date him (but prob. will) and we've kissed and I feel totally confortable with him. I dont know if everyone gets that but like when he held my hand i didnt even realize it. And he flirts with me sometimes overly and we flirt in general. The thing is when I told him that he didnt really respond. We've still kinda talked and it wasnt like awkward or anything but i dont know. I pretty much know he does too even if he doesnt tell me because i mean more like in a close friend way not marry me or anything like that haha. I really want to talk to him about it but i dont know how to bring it up and do you think thats a normal way for him to respond to it? Also do you think hes thinking about it or was just like ok whatever? i think he probably is thinking about it but i want others opinions. Lots of them lol :D hanks so much and I will rate all helpful posts!!!
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I see what goong on with your situation. I think its goood tht he still shows that he cares about you but if you think that hes not coming on hard enogh then give him some hint on what kind of boyfriend you would like for him to be. Tell him what you like for him to start doin (in a nice way) and things that would make you wanna fall IN love with him. And second don't give up on him. Tell him the same things you wrote in your adivce question. And I guess if youreally wan him to start showing i then you should get him started and show in some of the things you like to do that would make you like him more.
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If you tell him that you love him but aren't IN love... he may be very confused. First you are saying you love him and then you are saying you don't. The difference between love and being IN love is not something that everyone understands. I'm not even sure what you meant by that... that you love him as a friend but not a lover? He is probably more confused than I am, so choosing not to think about it to avoid confusing himself. If you would like him to reply, a more obvious statement is probably needed. (eg. I really enjoy spending time around you).
By flirting with you, he is letting you know that he likes you. Even the fact that you know he likes you means that he has shown this in some way. Guys are confused people, too. Very few of them will come out with flowers and ask you out romantically. He is probably looking for some sort of sign that you like him back, that you are worth breaking the dating rule to see (or maybe he is being rules-conscious about the whole thing). Basically it sounds like he is doing what you are doing, trying to figure out if you are into him or not (either that or in his personal life he can be shy... some guys are better at making the first move than others). If you are interested, act like it: flirt back, and don't tell him you don't like him romantically. If you want to remain friends, stop holding his hand. Then, see how he responds.
From what I understand, it sounds like he likes you but is new to this whole thing, and isn't quite sure how to show it, yet. Mostly, it looks like he is paying attention to how you act, and will probably act like either a friend or a lover depending on how you treat him and the situation. He may not act like he wants to date you even though he does because he cares about you and doesn't want to force anything on you.
Usually, in these situations, the best indicator is body language. However, the next best way is to reveal how you feel first, maybe just slightly more clearly than your previous attempt =]
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well when you tell people that you love them they don't respond because it was a surprize to them but he probally loves you back. He probally did think about it because it is something that took him to a surprize or shocked him. If he likes you and wants to be your gf then everything is all right. If you want to talk about it you just need to go out and say it. i mean at some point, if you eer get in a relation ship, even if you r not, you should always tell the truth and don't hold back. Just ask him say like, the otehr day when i told u that i loved you, i meant it in a friendly way, sry if i scared you. or say somthing like that, i mean, if he feels the same way then he will say i love you back, and if he doesn't then he eaither isn't ready for that commitment to say that or he just doesn't love you, sry that that sounds mean, but it is probally the truth. So just talk to him and be truthful and you will probally get the answers that u r looking for. good luck and have fun.
~sealgirl~
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I am in the exact same situation as you. I told my bgf I loved him and he said he loved me too...as a friend. And I beleive him because we spend every second together, so it wouldn't make sense for him to like anyone else. And we've kissed before too and held hands. It's really confusing. Good luck to you.I don't know what to say except I wish you the best.
My best guess though, is that both of our guys like us, but wouldn't date us, because there's really no advantage to it. We are already very close friends and we kiss..what would they date us for?
Ugghh this is a crazy world.
=)
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