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Q:
*16 female
i feel uncomfortable in my body sometimes(i know thats not a good thing but i don't know. its just how i feel). especially when i hang out with my friends who are skinnier then me. which is all of them... i have huge thighs. big boobs. my belly has a pouch on it. and i have love handles that can be seen through everything i wear.
i've been working out lately. i run on the treadmill. ride a stationary bike. go on an elliptical. and lift weights(i don't lift weights that much though) probably 2-3 times a week for 45 minutes to an hour and 30 minutes. the only problem is i don't eat as healthy as i should so that is probably why i am not loosing as much weight as i would like.
i want to get a perfect body by summer so i can feel comfortable wearing a bikini in front of people.
so heres my question. what other work out techniques should i start doing? and what eating habits should i start?
also another question. people say that when you work out your boobs get smaller. if thats true what exercises should i be doing so i can get smaller boobs?
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A healthy diet is KEY to weight loss. You gotta do your background research and find out exactly what you should be doing calorie-wise, and then go from there.
a BMR calculator is a good tool - not BMI. If you're working out/have a lot of muscle, then BMI tells you nothing. I'd do some of this for you, but you didn't specify your weight or height. Plug in your info, find out what you're burning per day (including the workouts that you do), and take 500 away from that. That's the calorie intake you should have to trigger weight loss. It changes as you lose more weight, but I don't know how much you're trying to lose.
As far as a perfect body, don't set your goals too high or you'll be discouraged. Give yourself a weekly weight loss goal, something like 1 or 2 pounds a week, or more if you're more overweight. That way if you overshoot your goal, you'll feel good.
The cardio is good, but you do wanna make sure you're doing some strength training, too, or your muscles won't tone up. Low weights/high reps is key, but you still have to exercise your body. If you're not struggling to do your last rep, your weight is too low.
As far as eating habits, you work out. Therefore, you need lean protein. Things like chicken, turkey, fish, nonfat dairy, certain kinds of lean beef. Low/non-fat is key, sugar free stuff is good.
Look at nutrition facts. Aim for very little or no saturated fat. High fiber, low sugar stuff. Natural sugars like fructose and glucose are fine, but you wanna stay away from sucrose and high fructose corn syrup.
...That's kind of a lot to take in. Lemme see if I can summarize the diet stuff:
GOOD:
Lean protein
Veggies
Fruits
Whole grain breads, pastas, etc.(moderation)
BAD:
Sugar
Saturated fat
Lots of sodium
White bread/pasta/etc.
Processed foods
You wanna make your body work to digest what you eat - the more it works, the more calories you burn (this is why celery is, for example, a negative calorie food. It's hard for your body to digest.)
Another cool key - eat something small every three hours. It boosts your metabolism (trust me). Also, make sure you eat breakfast. NEVER skip it, even if it's a granola bar. Only bad thing is once you get your body used to the 3 hours thing, you really have to keep doing it.
As far as boos shrinking, if you're actually overweight and your boobs are big because of that, yes, they will shrink. If it's genetic, you'll have a harder time getting them to deflate. Still, your boobs are basically bags of fat (I know, ew), and when you work out, you burn fat. Your boobs won't be the first fat to go, but after awhile you'll probably start losing some of that, too. There's no specific anti-boob exercise because they aren't muscles. You can work your pecs, but it won't make your boobs shrink - just your chest muscles stronger.
Anyway. That's my two cents; if you want more details or have questions, drop one in my inbox.
-Siren =)
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Q: ah i know this is wrong but..i just turned 14 and i've known this guy since i was in 6th grade and i met him in a chat room. we went out but i ended it because i thought it was wrong. but i couldn't stop thinking about him and now he asked me out again and i said yes (stupid me). he keeps saying he loves me and i never know what to say back. i never told him my age because i thought he would get mad.. he's already out of high school and he's about 17 years old. i'm going to washington d.c. for a graduation trip and he lives near there and he wants to see me. but i'm not sure...
should i stay in this relationship?
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I gotta be blunt with this one, honey - No, you shouldn't. He doesn't even know your real age. Are you sure you even know his real name? I hate to be a skeptic, because I've met some awesome people on line, but come on. Right now you're not even really in a relationship. You've never met, he doesn't know how old you are, and on top of that it's long distance, AND an internet "relationship." I never really believed in those. I got a crush on a guy I met on line when I was 13, but I'm the kind of girl who needs physical attention (hugs, kisses, etc) from her guy. An on line thing wouldn't do it for me.
Anyway, your age difference isn't the problem here. I know a couple five years apart who have been together forever, and they have a great relationship. The problem is honesty. How would you know he's being faithful to you in this relationship? How would he know you were? Unless you two both trust unconditionally, this relationship cannot function.
Besides, just the way you phrased your question sounds to me like you're asking for an excuse not to. "I know this is wrong but..." "(Stupid me)"
Catch my drift? If you feel that something wrong, ever, or something doesn't sit right with you, there's a reason, no matter what anyone says. I'm a strong believer in woman's intuition, since mine has never failed me.
So listen to your heart on this one. Go with your instincts. If your instincts are to run, then do it. If they tell you to stay, do that. Don't try to put logic to it or explain it out - go with your gut feeling. That's the best advice I can give you.
Good luck!
-Siren =)
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Q: you said that if you're young then your vibrato hasn't fully developed yet, correct? well what do you mean by young..like...14 or 15 young or what..?
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It depends on your vocal maturity, and USUALLY doesn't have much to do with age. I've had a vibrato since I was I think eleven or so, but I know an eighteen year old whose vibrato is just developing.
It depends on vocal resonance - I'm blanking on some of my vocal tech class, but having fully developed vibrato has a lot to do with whether or not your voice resonates in all the right places and if your instrument is completely open versus closed off or tense in some places.
But by young I imagine I meant 14 or younger - either 13 or 14 are the ages I believe you're supposed to start voice lessons, no younger, or damage can be done to the vocal cords.
Did this answer your question?
(If not, elaborate and I'll see what I can do ^_^)
-Siren =)
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Q: I got my period in january for the first time. My period hasn't come but i have this really brown stuff coming out. It's SOOOO GROSS it's like phlegm? Like, i feel like something is seriously wrong. It's brown, but it's definetly not my period.. what could it be? THANKS.
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Okay, don't freak out.
That IS your period. Blood isn't always red - blood is brown when it's dried. When your period is light, it doesn't always flow, exactly, so it doesn't move fast enough to come out of you red. It dries in your body and turns brown. I'm 20, I've had my period for...eight years, and I still get that brown stuff when my periods are light.
Nothing is wrong with you.
Be happy. Good luck!
-Siren =)
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Q: Hi!
So like, I go to the gym 4 times a week, losing anywhere between 600-800 calories solely on cario and whatever I lose on weights.
Sometimes before going to the gym, or afterwards, I eat frozen yogurt. Or a Chai latte. And on weekends I eat lunch afterwards (no frozen yogurt/lattes)
Is it normal to feel fat after eating??
And to not lose/gain anything in the first month?
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I don't know the you or your body, but I'm gonna guess you feel fat when you eat because you're burning so many calories so fast at the gym, and your body's trying to reject the calories you put into it.
It's kind of the same effect of anorexia. The less you eat, the less you'll be able to eat.
If you're working out, you need to be eating the right stuff. No matter how many calories you burn, if you don't eat enough to speed up your metabolism or give your body anything to burn, it doesn't move - as in, it doesn't burn anything useful. Calories are fuel, not the enemy. Fat cells are the enemy - calories are what you need (in the right measurements) to burn fat cells.
You're burning 600-800 calories on cardio, but how many calories are you eating? If it's under 2,000, then you need to be eating more, and more often.
I once burned a thousand calories at the gym doing various forms of cardio, but I never once lost a pound.
You need to be eating every three hours and working to speed up your metabolism. You're not losing or gaining because I'm guessing your body's not getting enough calories, so it's kind of in freeze mode. Also, a chai latte or frozen yogurt? Neither of those count as food. They're both empty calories. You want lean protein, not frozen drinks, especially right after the gym, or before.
Tweak your diet a little, your caloric intake, and you should start seeing results.
If you have any more questions, feel free to drop one in my inbox. I'm not a certified trainer, but eating disorder teach you a LOT. Lol
Good luck!
-Siren =)
[Edit]: If you're burning over 500 calories you can't cut it down to 1500. Whoever told you that is wrong. Lol. The myth that you have to burn more than you eat is also wrong. I mean yes, you'd lose weight, but that's basically anorexia, with less direct starvation.
If you cut it down to 1500 you're burning over a third of what your body ingests, and if your body gets below 1200 calories it goes into starvation mode and freezes your gain/loss process and slows your metabolism. You need to be getting at least 2000 calories if you're working out that much, but the RIGHT calories.
http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/
^ Go there, plug in your info. Then once you know your Basal Metabolic Rate, click on "Daily calorie needs" and it tells you how much to multiply your BMR by to see what you need to eat to maintain your weight. Based on what you sent me in your feedback, your BMR is 1497.25. I guessed at your age since you didn't specify that, but that's why I gave you the link =). Anyway. If you click on "Daily calorie needs," and you multiply your BMR by 1.725 (Though you work out 4 days a week, you obviously work out hard) it comes to 2582.75. That's the amount of calories you need to maintain your weight. Now, if you go to the link where it says "calorie intake to lose weight," it gives you a whole explanation of things, including a suggestion to drop your calorie intake by 500 from your maintenance number. For you, that would be just about 2000.
See what I mean? Play around with the calculator - it might say "you might want to try the South Beach Diet" at the top when you put in your info on the first page, but DON'T listen to that. SB is a BAD diet, trust me.
Anyway.
Lean meats are things like poultry, fish, anything with I think 10% fat or less. You can get lean beef, too, but it doesn't taste that good. Lol. Eggs are also good, fat free dairy products are good too. Nuts are good, but it depends on the kind of nut. Pistachios and cashews are both really high in fat (good fat, but fat nonetheless, and you want to minimize that.) Almonds are good, peanuts are good. Oil is better than butter, but both are fats. Wheat bread is better than white, whole grain is better, etc...
If you have any other questions, let me know =)
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Q: 15/f
for the next two weeks i am goin on a diet which basically will have me running on as much fruits, vegetables, fish and water as i want. along with that i will do a 2hour a day excersize routine and i was wondering about how much weight i will loose in two weeks if i stick to the diet.
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Don't. Cut. Out. Complex. Carbs!!
If you have no complex carbs to burn in your body and you're working out for 2 hours a day, you're gonna suffer.
I'm speaking from experience here. I did that, too. I also did the South Beach diet for awhile and tried to exercise, but I felt like I was gonna pass out within ten minutes on the treadmill. I couldn't lift the weights I was used to, or get as many reps as I aimed for because my body burned simple carbs way too fast to be useful in the gym.
Better suggestion: BALANCE your meals. Eat five or six small meals a day, focus on LEAN PROTEIN. Drink lots of WATER. Cut down on sugar and junk food. Yes, cut DOWN your complex carb intake, but for god's sake, eat a piece of bread. You'll burn it off for sure if you're working out two hours a day.
Also, if you're working out, you need to be eating somewhere around 2,000 calories at LEAST a day.
Always eat breakfast, and try to eat every three hours - it speeds up your metabolism, and that's what you want. I lost 20 lbs just by eating the right stuff at the right intervals and working out an hour a day, 3 or 4 times a week. It's taken about two years to get the awesome body I have right now, but I lost the weight pretty fast.
Thing is, though, these short-lived diets only last for as long as you're on them. If you start eating complex carbs again, you're going to gain, like, all the weight back, 'cause your body's not used to them anymore.
If you work out RIGHT, you only need to be in the gym for an hour a day, maybe every other day or three times a week with a day or two of cardio in between, and you'll see awesome results.
Keep in mind, though, exercise and a good diet go hand-in-hand. If you don't eat right, you won't be able to work out right. If you don't work out right, you won't see your body tone up. You'll lose weight, but your muscles won't tone or strengthen.
You've gotta commit to a good diet and workout routine, something you can do for more than two weeks. Being healthy and in good shape is a lifestyle, not a fling.
What you're proposing in your question is not only unhealthy, but probably ineffective in the long run.
The amount of weight you lose depends on your dimensions. For example, I'm 5'4", 120ish, and I have a lot of muscle, so I look like I weigh about five or ten pounds less. Since I'm in such good shape, to lose any amount of weight I have to do all the right stuff for like a week, and maybe lose a pound or two. I have a friend, though, who used to be very overweight. She just recently committed herself to a healthy lifestyle, and with the help of green tea pills, she's lost 35 pounds in about three weeks.
See what I mean? I'd guess you'll lose about 10, maybe 15 pounds in 2 weeks with that, but you'll gain it back as soon as you stop.
So, if you want a good workout routine, google workout plans, or drop one in my inbox.
In the meantime, good luck, and please reconsider the "diet" you're going on.
-Siren =)
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Q: 13/f
okay this may be really gross but i dont know what it is.
ok so you know like when you have a cold and you blow your nose and sometimes the snot is clear, well for the last week i have been farting a lot and my stomach has been really hurting cuz i would have to go the bathroom and... [#2] well today i wiped my but and it looked like clear snot all gooey and stuff but there wasnt poop marks. or anything well one of my #2 pieces were floating at the top of the toilet water and it was the size of a prune and it look like a raisen.
im scared and i dont know what it is also everytime i wipe sence i've been pooping a lot my anus has been really sore.
p.s. i have only gotten my period once and that was on jan. 31 and i havn't gotten it again.
please help me
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You should get checked out by a doctor. That mucus could be nothing, but it's better to be safe than sorry. If you're constipated at all, your intestines produce a mucus to help the stool move. If that's not the case, then go to your doctor and talk to him about what's going on with you.
I don't want to scare you or anything at all, but watch for blood when you wipe, too.
I'm gonna take a wild guess and say your period is just irregular because you're young, and that you have nothing to worry about there.
Have you been losing a lot of weight, or gaining weight? Have you changed your diet recently? Any weight loss or gain can throw off your period. Any change in your diet can change what happens when you go to the bathroom.
I'm not a doctor, but I have crohn's disease and I know a lot about gastrointestinal issues, lol.
The best advice I can give you is go to your doctor and see if he knows a GI doctor (gastrointestinal). A GI doc can do a few tests for you and give you a real diagnosis. Most of us here aren't certified to do that, especially not without any way to run any tests on you.
While this is going on, try to lay off gassy veggies, and eat bland things. Stay away from caffeine, and try not to eat things that are hard to digest, like popcorn.
Get checked out. Feel better *hug*
-Siren =)
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Q: this one kid in my science class, his dad died. what do i say, or do? i dont know him well. but i feel incredibly bad. i dont really want to make him a card. i think hugs are bettter. but do you think thatd be tottaly weird if i like hug him? like i just say i'm really sorry, and just kinda hug him. because i dk, if that happened to me, i think id just want to be hugged. uhm? what do you think i should do?
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One day at my first high school, I was really upset and pretty openly crying. A guy I barely knew came up to me and said "you look like you could use a hug," and hugged me. It didn't fix anything, but it made me feel a little better. He didn't ask why I was crying, or try to guess what my problem was. He just said "cheer up," and walked away.
Even as tough as they like to try to be, every guy needs hugs every now and then.
I think it'd be perfectly okay to hug him, maybe throw in a "we're all here for you," or "I'm here for you if you need me," if you want something more personal. Or even just what that guy said to me, "cheer up."
A card would be kind of superfluous and impersonal, and there's nothing bad or weird about hugs. Treat others how you'd like to be treated. Cliche, yes, but it's a good rule to stand by.
-Siren =)
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Q: what is your motivation for giving others advice here?
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I kind of got into it by accident, but I'd been giving advice all my life, and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Lol.
On a more serious note, I've been through a lot in my life: bad breakups, good breakups, WEIRD "relationships," eating disorders, psychological issues, sleep problems, etc...I know I can help people, and I know I'm not the only one who has gone through these things, or is going through them. Sometimes people just need someone to relate to, and I like to think one person can make a difference in someone's life.
-Siren =)
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Q: I'm in a long distance relationship. We've been together for two years. We're starting to fight a lot lately. : /. He's not texting me as much and such, but when he does he's the sweet self that he always is. My problem is that he told me he'd text me after doing something and he never did. He does that quite often. And I was talking to him about it today and he just hung up. He's been ignoring me all day. I've been thinking about breaking up with him because I can't have him doing this. But, it's so hard. And I feel like I'd be making a mistake? I guess I just want to know what you would do. Sorry this is so long.
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Aww, honey =(
I know how that is. I was with a guy for two years in high school, and he went away for college. I stayed in state, and he was bad about keeping the connection going. He never called me, or IM'd me, I always contacted him. I told him I was having trouble connecting with him, and that he needed to do some more work, but by the time I spoke to him about it I already wanted to end it.
Two years is a long time, and yeah, it's hard, but if you're not happy, if he can't keep up his end of the relationship, then let him go. Find someone who cares about you and will treat you the way you're supposed to be treated.
The mistake sensation you have is probably because of the timespan of your relationship. When you're with someone for that long, you get kind of used to being with them. But that doesn't mean you should stay with them if you're unhappy.
Having been in a similar situation, I have to tell you that breaking up with the guy was the smartest thing I ever did. I met someone else who really loves me, who I really connect with, who treats me right (most of the time...*eyeroll*).
Make a list of pros and cons of staying together and breaking up. That'll help you really think about your situation and why you feel the way you do.
I hope things work out for you.
Good luck!
-Siren =)
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Q: I was wondering the ball park range of a price for my first car. I just want something small and it would deffinatly be used. Just kinda a beater that would be cheap but not too cheap, if you know what i mean.
How much would this cost?
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Go to a donation lot, like Volunteers of America. Take someone with you who knows cars, preferably someone who has worked on cars in the past so they know what problems to look for, what could be a problem, and what's good. I took two of my guyfriends because I knew basically nothing about cars, but one worked in a parts shop and one worked at a repair shop, so they knew their stuff.
For every car off a donation lot, though, you have to plan to put about $500 of repairs into it. On the other hand, if you get a good base car and fix a couple of things, you'll have a great car for not too much money, and can work on earning a better car. Or, if you happen to like your car, fix it up more and drive it 'til it dies.
I got a '95 Ford Probe, the title, license, and registration for $1500 off the lot (which means I got the car itself for about $1200). It had a messed up external sensor that was screwing with the overdrive, needed new brake rotors and pads, has a gigantic crack in the windshield and a hole in the muffler.
BUT, I'm about to get a new muffler and windshield, and then this car is gonna last a really long time.
Catch my drift? Everything wrong with it was fixable, and Ford Probes, while they're obsolete, are long-lasting, quality cars. I see them all over the roads.
Do some research, find out about recalls and what cars last longer, etc, and you can probably get a decent used car for $3,000 tops, especially if you go to a donation lot. Their goal is to get cars to people who couldn't normally afford them, so they'll be flexible on prices.
Just make sure you know what you're looking at when you look under the hood, or take someone with you who does.
Good luck!
-Siren =)
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Q: Well, my friend admitted that she was bulimic. I researched what that meant, and it says that it is forcing yourself to vomit. I don't even understand how that would work. I really want to relate to what my friend is going through and how I can help her stop, since it's so obviously a bad thing.
So, what is she doing that I have to prevent?
How does one make themselves puke?
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If you're friend has voiced to you that she has a problem, the best thing you can do to help her stop is to convince her to talk to her parents, who can help her seek medical attention, or watch her at home depending on how long this has been going on. Admitting the problem is step one towards fixing it. Step two is seeking help.
When I was anorexic I got to the point where eating made me feel sick - my body was so used to being starved that it couldn't handle anything I put into it. I told my mom to make me eat every three hours, no matter what I said. She didn't know I had a problem, but she didn't have to. I had the willpower and the drive to fix my problem myself, but not everyone does.
If your friend has been bulimic for awhile, she may be having physical problems in addition to psychological, and she may not be able to help herself.
To force yourself to vomit, your gag reflex needs to be stimulated. If you shove your finger down your throat, you'll gag. Some people have a sensitive reflex, and can't even brush their tongue with their toothbrush without gagging. Your uvula is that little thing hanging down between your tonsils, and that's basically your gag trigger. Don't try this yourself unless you're REALLY curious.
Bulimia is harmful in so many ways. It can become an addiction the same way starving yourself can. Stomach acid also rots teeth and ruins vocal chords. If you do it enough after you eat, your body will think that's what it's supposed to do, and it will become an involuntary reflex - You won't be able to eat; your body will reject anything you put into it because that's what it thinks it's supposed to do. You'll wind up malnourished and unhealthy on more than one level.
Anyway, my best advice to you is convince your friend to talk to a parent, and explain to her why what she's doing is harmful to her. If you can, find out why she's doing this to herself and pose a different solution.
Good luck!
-Siren =)
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Q: whats the difference between a thong and a g string?
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Thong bands are thicker than g-strings.
G-strings are just that...strings. Thongs are usually like an inch wide or a little less.
Hope that clears things up for ya.
-Siren =)
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Q: How do you know if a guy is a player? You see my crush told me like 4 weeks ago that he had a girlfriend (came up in a casual conversation) and now he like looks me in the eye and he was touching his leg with mine today and he kept moving his torso toward me, and calling me blonde teasingly...but i asked what someone thought on this sight, and they said he sounds like a player, but i disagree, then i started thinking more and more (like i did throughout the day saying "what could he want with me? he is a senior and i am a freshman!) how could i tell??
PS REMEMBER!!! this is four weeks later!
and can you awnser my original question also, how do you know if a guy is a player?
thank you...
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I don't see your original question, honey, but I'll answer this one.
Okay, let's see...Ah, the old freshman/senior cliche. I dated a senior when I was a freshman. You gotta be careful with age differences. He could be looking for a different kind of relationship than you, and - not to put too fine a point on it, but - he could easily just want sex from you.
Or, he could've broken up with his girlfriend and be looking at you.
Whatever the reason is for him eying you right now, if he has a girl, don't do anything with him. I'm sure you know that, though.
If you can, I'd try to find out from someone else if he has a girl or not. If he does, he's a creep and doesn't deserve your attentions or affections. Don't ask HIM about his girl, 'cause he could easily lie.
It sounds suspicious to me, so I'd watch it if I were you.
If you can find your question and want to send me a link to it, I'll read and answer that too.
Good luck, let me know what happens if you like.
-Siren =)
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Q: whats with people and the obsession with hookah nowadays? isnt it as bad as cigarettes? it seems like group smoke or something with a giant bong except its not for mj. any info about this would be appreciated. where do people get this stuff and what is put into it?
(for research project at school - i will get facts online but i need like info from people in the know about their school surroundings and who i hang out with dont do this or know about this stuff) thanks!
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A hookah is a water bong - the water dulls the smoke and it's not nearly as harsh as cigarette smoke. It's also minus the carcinogens that cigarettes have in them, provided you're smoking tobacco out of it, as most people do. That's the social thing, anyway. There's no tar, and no random additives, it's just tobacco plant, molasses, and flavoring.
If you go to a hookah bar with a whole bunch of people, smoking hookah really isn't as bad for you as cigarettes at all. Yes, it's smoke, and no, smoke isn't good for you ever, but you smoke less with more people.
Anyway, hookah tobacco is sold at any smoke shop around. You can buy hookahs at smoke shops, too, or some middle-eastern shops. There are teeny ones that are for one person, and big ones that are for a lot of people that come with as many as four hoses, I think, and ones in the middle, too.
Wikipedia is a great place to find more info, and if you're eighteen grab a couple friends and go try it - google hookah bars around your area. Experience is great research.
(Not that I'm condoning smoking, but trying hookah once for the purpose of research sounds like a good idea to me. It's relaxing, you can get kind of a smoke buzz that lasts like five minutes, and it tastes good.)
Good luck!
-Siren =)
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Q: my boyfriend (16) and i (16) have both explicitly and bluntly expressed to eachother that we'd like to have sex and think we're ready. we have been dating for 6 months and i don't trust anyone in the world as much as i trust him.
there's no way in hell i could ever tell my mom that i wanted to have sex, she'd flip a lid. however, i really want to be careful and don't want to run the risk of becoming pregnant. i'm curious about birth control, is there an over-the-counter brand that i could get without a doctors note?
more importantly, anyone with prior expierience... how were you able to do it and get away with it?
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The bad news is you need a prescription for any form of birth control.
The good news is, if you complain that your periods are irregular and your PMS symptoms suck (bad cramps, headaches, etc), it's treated with birth control. The pill is comprised of hormones, so it regulates your periods and (supposedly) calms down those nasty PMS symptoms we all hate so much.
I had a different situation when I was sixteen - I had a boyfriend, he was 2 years older than me or so. We talked about sex, and did it once with a condom and me not on the pill. My mom wanted to be cautious, so she made me an appointment with a gyno, he looked me over and talked to me, and my mom told me if I wanted to go on the pill I could, and that she'd rather be safe than sorry. (As in, she'd rather I be protected if I chose to move forward in my relationship with the guy than have me wind up pregnant.)
So I just told my mom "I've decided I want to go on the pill," and she said "okay."
But if your mom's not as understanding as mine (you never know, though, she might surprise you one day, mine sure as hell did, and still does) your best bet is to tell her you get bad cramps and your periods are irregular.
You're sixteen, that makes you of legal age to be sexually active in most states, so really it's nothing bad.
Now I don't want to preach, but...
Even with the pill, it's only about 99% effective. You also need to be on it for a month to make sure it's taken effect before you have sex. AND, even with the pill, always use condoms.
Have fun, be safe, good luck!
-Siren =)
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Q: 13/f he's 16/m
MMkay , wellme and my new boyfriend have been dating for 4 days and yesterday he wanted a handjob...I've done it before and all but I told him no , he had to wait because I have my own morals and I'm not a slut...I know it was a good choice to wait.
Also , he's 16 and expelled from school , so he doesn't go to school and has no plans on going...meaning he basicly has no future.This upsets me...
Another thing is that yesterday we were talking and he asked me what are my limit's ? And I said nothing below the belt.And then we were talking about how many previous sexual partners we've had and I told him I'm kinda a virgin [ well techniclly not because penis in vagina = non-virgin ] and he said he'd had about 35 girls who he's had sex with and 15 who have given him blowjobs.I was like :O man whore.He said if he tried he wouldn't beable to rememeber all their names and he didn;t know all their names in the first place.This also upsets me.
So , I'm thinking about asking him to get tested for STD's , STI's and AID's and all that before we do anything.
Answers ? Opinion's ? ANYTHING would help me...I can't get this out of my head !!
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Whoa, red flag. THIRTY FIVE girls? Seriously?
You'd better make him get tested.
I don't even know him and I already don't like him.
You asked for opinions, so here's mine: you shouldn't be involved with a guy three years older than you, who's been expelled from school, and has messed around with over thirty girls.
I'm honestly worried that he's gonna try to push you to do something "below the belt", and that you're gonna be upset.
I don't mean to sound like an overprotective mom, but this is the kind of guy I'd tell my (hypothetical) daughter to stay away from.
"Manwhore" is right, be careful...
Don't let him push you to do anything you don't want, and please for your own safety, reconsider your relationship with this boy.
Good luck
-Siren =)
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Q: Gan you get an STD by giving a blowjob... like swallowing cum and such?
Thanks.
=]
Oh, also... someone told me you can get stretch marks around your mouth if you give head a lot...
Is this true?
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Absolutely, you can get an STD by mixing any bodily fluids. Ygs is right. Flavored condoms are your best bet, and remember - you control the situation. If he doesn't want a condom, he doesn't get what he wants. =D
Think about all the facial expressions we make. People can fit whole fists in their mouths. If we got stretch marks from giving head, women everywhere would have some major issues...(and some men). So, no, that's completely false.
We get stretch marks other places from our skin not growing as fast as the rest of us when we gain weight or size anywhere. Mouths don't gain size, and the skin on your face is probably the most elastic of anywhere on your body.
The only thing you might get from giving too much head is a sore jaw and a bad reputation. =P
Be safe, and have fun!
-Siren =)
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Q: i've only had sex 3 times. and everytime, it hurts. like i mean it feels good.. but it hurts... and i dont know like if it's just me or if theres something wrong.. but it doesnt feel good.. like doing other stuff feels great.. but sex never seems to feel right... uhmm help?
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It didn't stop hurting until number 3.5 or 4 for me. Lol, I don't remember exactly, it was four years ago.
You either need to relax - and you'd be surprised, it's difficult to relax, but when you do, it feels SO much better.
It hurts me now sometimes, but my boy is really good about helping me relax (because it hurts him when I'm too tense too).
You should talk to your boy about what you're feeling. If he's being too rough, ask him to be a little gentler. That might be a good idea anyway. I mean there are a lot of reasons sex could hurt, including the fact that hey guess what, you've only done it three times. =P
Some peoples' bodies take longer to get used to it. Some people are fine right away. It also depends on how big your guy is, and if he popped your cherry or if it was already gone.
If you want more in-depth figuring-out, feel free to IM me and we'll see what we can come up with, but from your info all I can guess is that you guys are both young, and that you might be a bit tense.
I seriously doubt anything is wrong, so relax. It hurts most people the first few times.
Good luck!
-Siren =)
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Q: Hello,
My son is 15 and he's always been a ''rebel''.
Me and my husband are relaxed with him, so if he wants piercings, we let him get them...but we defenetly don't let him drink or smoke.
The other day I found out that he had been having sex with his two year girlfriend. It isn't like our family believes in ''no sex before marriage'' but it was kind of shocking to me because I always though that he would wait until he was (at least) 16.
He has been out a lot lately and yesterday he came home with an eyebrow piercing. I am not against piercings at all, in fact, I love them, but he didn't even tell me that he was going to get one.
It seems to me that he's not communicating with us anymore, and he sent me a text this morning, asking whether he could go get drunk with some friends. Now, I am defenetly against drinking...but I know he will do it anyway, even if I say no!
He smokes ''socially'' as he told me, I don't approve but I cannot do anything about it. He's always been a popular boy, but I want to know how I can make him talk to us more, trust us and also, not get drunk whenever he goes out!
What do you think I should be doing?
What are some punishments I could use?
And just advice how I could feel better?
Thank you.
PS! He gets mostly A's in school, some B's and he doesn't spend his time at home on the computer or playing video games...or watching TV. He spends his free time at home playing guitar, writing songs for his band and so on...so he's not a lousy student.
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The best thing you can do for your son is to keep him educated, and TRUST HIM.
I'm 20/f, but when I was fifteen, I could drink all my friends under the table. My parents knew - they never approved either, but they trusted my judgment.
They knew they had raised an intelligent, responsible girl, and that they could trust me not to harm myself.
Let him rebel.
When you tell a child "no, you can't," they want to more. Not to be sexist, but it's true moreso for boys than it is for girls, generally.
Your son sounds like an intelligent person, and a talented one at that. You obviously care about him, and yes, letting go is difficult, but you have to remember he's growing up and (obviously) has to make his own decisions.
You have every right to tell him you wish he would talk to you more, but you have to respect his decision either way. If you respect him, he'll respect you, and thank you for being lenient with him later in life.
As I said, now I'm 20. I've tried pot, I've been drunk, and now I know that I like wine, not hard liquor, and I like hugs, not drugs, and I tell my mother everything - because she taught me from a very young age that she was open to hearing anything, that she would listen to me, and that she respected me. (Of course, teaching him that he can tell you anything may lead to you hearing some things you don't want to, but that's a risk you should be willing to take.)
So, in summary, love, trust, and respect make up any great relationship, including familial.
I hope your son chooses to be more open with you, since you seem so concerned about it, but he's a kid - he'll learn. Maybe the hard way, maybe not, but either way, he'll figure out that he can talk to you, and that will end up being the most important thing.
Good luck!
-Siren =)
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bio
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I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.
I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.
I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.
Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.
***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***
If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.
I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.
Siren
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Info
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Website: Gender: Female Age: 26 AIM: Member Since: February 13, 2004 Answers: 1526 Last Update: April 26, 2014 Visitors: 107716
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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