this one kid in my science class, his dad died. what do i say, or do? i dont know him well. but i feel incredibly bad. i dont really want to make him a card. i think hugs are bettter. but do you think thatd be tottaly weird if i like hug him? like i just say i'm really sorry, and just kinda hug him. because i dk, if that happened to me, i think id just want to be hugged. uhm? what do you think i should do?
Siren_Cytherea answered Saturday March 1 2008, 2:13 pm: One day at my first high school, I was really upset and pretty openly crying. A guy I barely knew came up to me and said "you look like you could use a hug," and hugged me. It didn't fix anything, but it made me feel a little better. He didn't ask why I was crying, or try to guess what my problem was. He just said "cheer up," and walked away.
Even as tough as they like to try to be, every guy needs hugs every now and then.
I think it'd be perfectly okay to hug him, maybe throw in a "we're all here for you," or "I'm here for you if you need me," if you want something more personal. Or even just what that guy said to me, "cheer up."
A card would be kind of superfluous and impersonal, and there's nothing bad or weird about hugs. Treat others how you'd like to be treated. Cliche, yes, but it's a good rule to stand by.
-Siren =) [ Siren_Cytherea's advice column | Ask Siren_Cytherea A Question ]
LOL_x0x answered Saturday March 1 2008, 1:27 pm: Are a lot of people talking to him?
If so, I'd give it some time. You don't want to bombard him when everyone else already is.
Once people start to relax a little, then I'd say something. Kind of like Sima below said.
After a few days, I'd just ask him how he's holding up, if he's alright or needs to talk, etc. Just let him know you're there, even if you don't know him well, because if this happened to you, you couldn't even imagine how you'd feel.
It's always nice to know someone's there =]
Sima answered Saturday March 1 2008, 12:32 pm: I wouldn't do anything yet, because I'm sure that this is all very overwhelming for him. Don't make a card, and don't try to reach out to him YET. I don't know if he's the type that needs comfort immediately, or if he's the type that distances himself from everyone else and goes into a state of isolation.
After maybe about a few days, ask him how he's doing.
Annerszz_101 answered Saturday March 1 2008, 11:48 am: well. he is probably getting a lot of people coming up to him saying sorry. so make him a card that says exactly that.
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