Sima's advice column

Hi guys, my friend (girl) is turning 16, and is having a party. What are some good cheap birthday gifts? We are friends, but not best friends if you know what I mean, so I would like something not pricey at all. Something under 20 dollars...under 15 if possible. 10 dollars would be great haha. Thanks!!!

You could always get her like a cute lotion set from bath and body works. They always have some type of sale going on. You should ask her what her favorite scents are. I'm sure that you could find something at B&BW.

I love the lipglosses from B&BW:
http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=3707297&cp=2484777

If you have a picture with her, you could always put one in a cute, cheap frame from Walmart.

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Do you usually use Maxi Pads or Tampons? And do you know any kinds that work good?

I use Tampons. My favorite brand of all time would be the 'Equate' super tampons. They're so cheap and you get a ton of them. I've tried almost every single brand that they have on the market, but that one is the best.

Maxi pads make me feel... icky, and unhygienic.

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Michael Jackson apparently died at age 50 from cardiac arrest. Elvis died when he was like 42, I think, and they claimed (at first) that he died of something called cardiac arrhythmia. Turned out that Elvis actually died of a drug overdose.

So, I'm thinking...wow, 50 is REALLY young for someone to die, especially when our average lifespan is something like 75 or so. Maybe Michael Jackson didn't REALLY die of cardiac arrest and his death is being covered up by somebody!

Did Michael Jackson actually die of cardiac arrest or could it have been a possible drug overdose or some sort of suicide? Could he have been murdered and nobody know about it yet?

Anyone have any clues or opinions they'd like to share about Michael Jackson's death?

Nobody knows the details except that he went into cardiac arrest. I will just wait until I hear it from the media sources, I suppose, since he just died earlier today..

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My boyfriend and I will be going to hang out together tomorrow. I don't know what to do for entertainment or anything though. I really hate awkward moments and silences so we need to be doing SOMETHING so our date doesn't just die off. Any ideas?

I'm going to give you a really random idea, but you should go to Dunkin' Donuts in the morning to have breakfast. It's totally spontaneous and unexpected, but I think that he'll love it! I mean come on, what guy doesn't love food?

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How can i lose weight and get skinny?
i would like to lose my belly fat and arm fat and im 17 5'3 and weigh 130 what can i do to lose weight and get skinny? i got a gym membership but i dont know what to do should i run everyday? what can i eat? i woudnt mind getting muscles is it possible for me to lose weight in 3 months? can someone make a exercise schedule for me? thanks

- COMPLETELY redo your diet. No more processed foods. What I mean by processed foods is, eggs come from chickens, apples grow on trees, so where did your poptart come from? If your answer is Aisle 7, then THAT is what I mean by processed food. You need to start incorporating more lean protein (skinless chicken), vegetables, fruits, and water. No more overindulging in cookies, cake, fruit snacks, those fake 'jam packed with good-for-you' supposed 'healthy' cereal bars, etc. Soda is a killer, and you need to slowly wean yourself from it. I'm telling you. Would you rather eat all of that and feel like crap at the end of the day, or would your rather do good for your body by providing it with nutrients and feel great? You know that saying "You are what you eat"? Well, it's true!

- I can't tell you what to do in terms of exercise because I don't know what you like. I personally prefer the treadmill and the stationary bike, but you might like something else. You really do have to go to the gym and try out what you like. I know that this wasn't the answer that you were looking for in terms of exercise, but only you know what you like.

And the person who suggested drinking chocolate milk when you feel hungry was wrong about that. You should eat things like fruits and vegetables when you feel hungry in between meals, not sugary beverages. NOT that milk is bad for you, but come on, CHOCOLATE milk..?

This is what you need to start eating:
- Salad (forget the high fat Ranch dressing that you're used to).
- Lean protein.
- Fruits.
- Vegetables.
- Whole grains.
- Water!
- An idea for breakfast in the morning:
Lowfat plain yogurt (packed with protein), fruit, almonds (healthy fats).

You could eat a diet that consisted of a ton of junk food and could amount to 1,200 calories (for example), or you could eat things like what I mentioned above, that would also amount to 1,200 as well. The difference between the two, is that the healthy diet has nutrients that nourish your body, but the junk food diet has no nutrients and does nothing for you.

Message me if you need anything else.

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I want to have a baby early. My boyfriend and I are going to start trying to get pregnant as soon as we graduate highschool. I know babies are expensive, but I don't know exactly how expensive. And I know they are hard to deal with, but I don't really know how hard.

Anyone who is a young mother, or was a young mother, can you give me any advice? And please don't tell me to not have one or to wait. Because I know I'll be a good mother. I just need some answers for my questions.

Thanks in advance!

Wait a second, HOW exactly do you know that you will be a good mother if you haven't even been one yet? You can't just assume that right away! What you think and what could happen are two very different things. Don't underestimate the job of being a mother. If your boyfriend turns into a coward and suddenly disappears one day, then you'll be a single mother. Why would you put a child through that? I don't understand you people. Instead of enjoying your life, focusing on your career and education, and getting ready for the 'real world', you want to have a child. You need a serious reality check. You don't even know how expensive it is to take care of a child? Oh, no problem, I'll tell you:

Dual Parent Family from ages 0-18:
approximately, $125,000.

Single Parent Family from ages 0-18:
approximately, $119,000.

Those are just estimated approximations, they could either be slightly more or slightly less.

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ok well i'm 15f i'm 5'8

when i got weighed like during the summer i was 220ish. told me to lose 20 pounds..which seemed like a biiig challenge for me! D: anyways..9th grade now. switched schools and now i have this new P.E. thing where all we do is go in the weight room thats like a gym! you got your treadmill those bike thingies an ab cruncher pec deck and all this other stuff i dunno what its called :P but i like it a lot! but on thursdays when class is longer we run 2 laps around the track or the "fun run" (not fun!)...i'm not even gonna get into that XP
so when the end of the semester came we weighed ourselves and did the mile and crap like that.. i weighed in as 205.. i still felt like crap though cuz my new school is in LAGUNA BEACH!! everyone is uber skinny and pretty and says gnarly!! D: i felt fat.....reallly fat T_T
a while after that..i don't know if i did anything but..when we weighed outselves again for the presidential test i was 200! happy day! :D
i'm wondering if its normal though..for 5'8 i mean
my parents want me to be 140 so ima aim for that but i need to know...i still feel really fat

heeeellp i know this was long D:

Okay, so what is your question..? Do you want to lose weight, or are you just celebrating your weight loss? I'm confused, but anyways. With the weight loss:

- COMPLETELY redo your diet. No more processed foods. What I mean by processed foods is, eggs come from chickens, apples grow on trees, so where did your poptart come from? If your answer is Aisle 7, then THAT is what I mean by processed food. You need to start incorporating more lean protein (skinless chicken), vegetables, fruits, and water. No more overindulging in cookies, cake, fruit snacks, those fake 'jam packed with good-for-you' supposed 'healthy' cereal bars, etc. Soda is a killer, and you need to slowly wean yourself from it. I'm telling you. Would you rather eat all of that and feel like crap at the end of the day, or would your rather do good for your body by providing it with nutrients and feel great? You know that saying "You are what you eat"? Well, it's true! To find out how many calories you need daily, go here: http://www.exercise4weightloss.com/teen-calorie-intake.html

Since you are a little heavier than usual, you should probably consult a doctor. I, myself, am obviously not a doctor. When it comes to losing weight safely, they would be able to help you out with that. However, I can help with things like diet and exercise.

- Exercise! Yup, I said it. There is no way that you can avoid it. I applaud you for taking advantage of your school's weight room. If it's there for you, then why not use it? Great job. Anyways, as I was saying. Although some exercise is better than no exercise, you should probably think about doing more of it. If you don't want to join a gym, you could always look into at home exercise DVDs. Check your local library and look into some that you are interested in. If you decide to purchase any, make sure you check the reviews at www.amazon.com.

I cannot stress this enough, but if you don't already, you need to start drinking a lot of water!

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I have sideburns and lip hair and am growing black hair on the side of my face.
it scares me ...
my lip hair is prickly but ive never shaved my face before.

why is it doing this ?
how come every girl i know doesnt have it
and i dont want to shave every day and have a prickly face
that's disgusting!
what do i do!?!
i can notice it in my bathroom mirror
and i feel angry/depressed/shocked
because this is exactly what i never wanted to have.
EXACTLY.

The only thing that I suggest is waxing. If you are too self conscious to go to a salon, or do not want to spend money, you can get your own at home waxing kit from your local Walmart, CVS, etc.

Don't shave any part of your face. I have experience with it and it's a drag waiting for your hair to grow back. Unfortunately, I was 'blessed' with the gene that causes me to grow hair out very quickly. I have to shave every day otherwise I end up with stubble. It's unsightly, but it's just what I have to deal with. You're not alone.

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I am 13 and want to have sex with my girlfriend. She said that she is ready. Should I do it. And it is legal i searched it, the legal age is 13. Should Ii avoid the vagina because of STD's. Please Help!!!!!!!

Okay, you CLEARLY are not mature enough to have sex. Enjoy your youth. What you're experiencing is hormones. Everyone has them, so learn how to control yours.

And really? You say that you 'researched' the age, huh? Well, according to this chart:

http://sexoffenderissues.blogspot.com/2009/01/age-of-consent-chart-for-us-2009.html

Nowhere could I find that 13 year olds can have sex. So, you would be having sex illegally.

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Okay well im a young kid, so i really dont like my green vegtables. my mom says i will like them when im older, but i just dont know! i dont even like seafood. is there something wrong with me?! please hellpp!

I don't like many vegetables either. I'm more of a 'fruit' person. I could eat fruits all day if I had to. There's nothing wrong with you at all. You just have certain preferences. I like to dip broccoli and carrot sticks in low fat ranch, or I put all natural peanut butter on a celery stick. Very rarely will I eat vegetables alone, without a 'counterpart'. Just try things out, and eat what you like.

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are nutri-grain bars and granola bars a healthly breakfast/ lunch

Well, they're better than not eating any breakfast at all, but it's better to have something more fulfilling than that. I consider things like that 'empty calories'.

For Breakfast, you should eat one of these choices:
1) Whole wheat toast with peanut butter and a banana.
2) Nonfat yogurt, one teaspoon of honey, and fruit.
3) High Fiber Cereal with low-fat milk and blueberries.

For Lunch, you should eat:
1) Salad with grilled chicken (like Tyson Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast Strips) with nonfat dressing (like Fat Free Italian Dressing).

Snacks:
http://www.seventeen.com/health-sex-fitness/all-access-fitness-blog/harley-pasternak-recipes

Message me if you need more tips.

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Is it bad to do stuff with family members...brothers, cousins, etc.

Yes, of course it is.

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its starting to get hot and I wanna start working out again but I dont have time to be outside at night or morning to work out when its cooler and I dont have money for the gym whats some good working out type of things I can do indoors?

* Exercise DVD's.
* Simple calisthenics (http://www.targetwoman.com/articles/calisthenics.html)
* Jumping rope in your garage/basement/anywhere that has a hard floor.
* Along with the exercise DVD's, you can buy a cheap yoga mat, or just use a soft towel, and you can do Yoga/Pilates at home. Make sure that you search for the DVD that you want on Amazon.com first to make sure that the people who have already tested it have given it good reviews.

That's really all that I can think of.

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okay so whoever manages to solve this one deserves a gold medal. ill try to make this as short as possible.

ive been dating my bf for 3 and 1/2 months and im VERY affectionate, hopeless romantic, etc. I realized he isnt. and last night i found out why.

see what he would do is tell me he loves me and wants to be with me, but then he wouldnt really show it too much. i could tell he was holding back. A LOT. he didnt really show me his true feelings. i always was patient with him because i knew hes been through a lot. but last night i found out just the extent of his experiences in love. he dated this girl that really MESSED him up. he loved her so much and was happiest when he was with her, but then she did the worst thing imaginable. worse than cheating. however even after the incident he still wanted to be with her. eventually she cut him off completely and i dint think he ever had closure with her. he hates her now but i think deep down he still loves her. and the thing is he doesn't want to have anything to do with her, and he always tells me he cant believe im real, that no one has ever treating him like i do, but at the same time i still feel like he cant be completely true with me or love me to the fullest because he doesn't wanna suffer like he did again. i don't know how to help him, and the thing is there is a quite big age gap between us me being 18 and him being 26. i haven't gone through half the stuff he has and because of that he still sees me as young, and kinda naive, and therefore unable to understand what hes been through, and hes right i cant FEEL it, but i understand it, i could cry for him thats how much it affects me. but he tells me not to worry and just be happy. i just wish i could help him get over this horrible girl/incident that happened to him, but hes not really letting me. we cant really have an amazing relationship if hes not letting himself open up again. hes just so affected by it....what can i do????

You know, I'm only 16 going on 17, but I might have an inkling about what is going on. I think that you're right about him still having some feelings for her because that shows when he holds back. He needs closure from her, and he hasn't gotten it yet. I think that you need to confront him and ask him straightforwardly "Do you still have feelings for her?" and ask him to tell you the truth. If there is any hesitation, then I think that he does, which probably means that you two should break up. If you have tried to open up to him and make yourself available to console him, but he's not accepting it, then there's really not much else that you can do. You can only do so much..

Sorry if that wasn't the answer that you were looking for, but that's what I think.

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What does it mean when people have a drawing of an eye on their palm?

"The eye in palm is an occult symbol referring to divination (foreseeing) and palmistry (telling fortunes by lines on the palm of the hand)"

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13/m

ok ive been going out with my girlfriend for exactly a week now and we hold hands but mine get sweaty alot and she said that i do haha so i'm like.. worried that she wont want to hold hands with me as much because of that so does anyone know of things that i could put on my hands to stop it sweating too much
btw we usually hold hands when were walking around school and we also do it when i sometimes walk home with her
thanks

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-causes-sweaty-palms.htm

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I've written a novel series that I'm attempting to get published. And well, I included a character like a person who I had a falling out with a while back, and well, I'm kinda taking this chance to tell this friend that I will still be their friend, regardless.

Bad idea, or good?

Go for it.

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What are your top 5 favorite songs? I'm looking for new music to try :)

Okay, I seriously can't give you JUST 5 songs. I have so many favorite songs.

Incubus:
"Dig"
"Southern Girl"
"Here in My Room"
"Certain Shade of Green"
"Smile Lines"
"Drive"
"Wish You Were Here"
"Stellar"
"Pardon Me"
"Anna Molly"

Lupe Fiasco:
"Gold Watch"
"Blackout"
"Kick Push"
"Daydreaming"

Jason Mraz:
"The Dynamo of Volition"
"Butterfly"
"Make It Mine"
"Clockwatching"
"Mr. Curiosity"

John Mayer:
"Slow Dancing in a Burning Room"
"City Love"
"Bigger Than My Body"
"New Deep"
"Your Body is a Wonderland"
"Neon"
"Daughters"

Lady GaGa:
"Beautiful Dirty Rich"
"Money Honey"

MGMT:
"Kids"
"Time to Pretend"
"Electric Feel"
"The Youth"

Coheed and Cambria:
"A Favor House Atlantic"

Slumdog Millionaire Soundtrack:
"Jai Ho!"
"O Saya"
"Paper Planes" (M.I.A)
"Liquid Dance"

Message me if you need more.

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