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future plans: Planning to have a baby as soon as I graduate high school. Advice?
I want to have a baby early. My boyfriend and I are going to start trying to get pregnant as soon as we graduate highschool. I know babies are expensive, but I don't know exactly how expensive. And I know they are hard to deal with, but I don't really know how hard.
Anyone who is a young mother, or was a young mother, can you give me any advice? And please don't tell me to not have one or to wait. Because I know I'll be a good mother. I just need some answers for my questions.
Thanks in advance!
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i had my daughter at just turning 20 and i love her so much but i would have waited i had to work two jobs to just make ends meet i really wished i would have went to collage for a couple of years frist and made our lives easier but it sounds to me like you already made up your mind to have a baby now i'm just suggesting you should hold off for two or three years till you have some schooling under your belt trust me time fly's when your busy i hope this helps
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Well, I tell you, I read where someone asked how you know you'd be a good mother if you've never been one.
That's just silly.
I'm a mother of two, and I still don't know what the hell I'm doing half the time. I just wing it and do the best I can. I'm learning to be a mother just as they are learning to be their own people.
These are things that we never stop learning, because no one will ever be an expert on being people, nor being parents.
(Believe me when I say you'll come across Parental Experts who CLAIM to know it all, but their ego makes them look like the idiots they really are.)
I'm not young. I'm 31. My boys are 13 months apart, aged 1 and 2.
How hard is it?
Madness.
Insanity.
One minute you can't get enough of them, the next minute you're hollering for your husband to come deal with his children before you go postal.
One minute you love being called Momma, the next you say you wish you could be called Daddy so they'd leave you the hell alone for a while.
One minute you think of what precious, sweet, little angels they are. The next you are grumbling through gritted teeth because they got into their diapers and finger painted on the walls, the curtains, the furniture, themselves, etc., with poop.
The list goes on and on and on.
How much do they cost?
Put a couple of $100 bills in your hands and tear them to shreds. Do this once every week or so.
If you feed them formula, better make that 3.
Hard an expensive as it all is, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Crazy as they make me at times, I love being their Mangy Momma.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again:
My sons prove that I, too, can accomplish great wonders.
I do wish that you'd consider furthering your education before planning a family, but I can't say much considering my schooling ended with a high school diploma, and we make it. We don't have much in this world, but we have what we need and a few frivolous things.
As for everyone else, they are just trying to look out for your best interests. Don't be so pissed at them. Their hearts are in the right place.
31/f
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I 100% advise against this. Babies are lots of $$, and lots of work. Missing out on college because you rather give up your life to become a young mother is really stupid. College pretty much makes or breaks you.
I can tell you from experience (I'm not a young mother, but I have cousins who are still teenagers & have kids) that this is a bad idea. My 2 cousins are sisters. Neither of them have jobs. One has a 2 year old, and one has a 4 month old. My aunt is raising their kids, not them.
Babies can usually cost about $150,000 a year. That's just an estimate, so please don't take that as exact. Young parents struggle to raise children. Both of my cousins are no longer with their boyfriends, and the fathers of their children do not claim the kids as theirs. I'm not saying all guys are like this, BUT most are and will absolutely run away from a situation as soon as it gets tough.
They only want to deal with the fun part, and then when it gets tough, they run away like children. And you know why? Because you and your boyfriend are children yourself.
You don't know what goes into caring for another person along with yourself. You need a job, a place to stay, and lots of other things. Jobs are hard to come by right now, and so is housing. Shelters can only keep you for so long. Trust me when I say it is very hard & that you should wait.
Go to college, get a career and get your own place THEN worry about having kids. Right now, it's not the thing to do, so please refrain from it. Children are lots of responsibility that no kid in high school can handle.
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Wait a second, HOW exactly do you know that you will be a good mother if you haven't even been one yet? You can't just assume that right away! What you think and what could happen are two very different things. Don't underestimate the job of being a mother. If your boyfriend turns into a coward and suddenly disappears one day, then you'll be a single mother. Why would you put a child through that? I don't understand you people. Instead of enjoying your life, focusing on your career and education, and getting ready for the 'real world', you want to have a child. You need a serious reality check. You don't even know how expensive it is to take care of a child? Oh, no problem, I'll tell you:
Dual Parent Family from ages 0-18:
approximately, $125,000.
Single Parent Family from ages 0-18:
approximately, $119,000.
Those are just estimated approximations, they could either be slightly more or slightly less.
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I highly suggest you wait till you are older and have started a career and saved up money to have a baby. My mother was 19 when she had me. My parents are not together. My mom works a job 6-3 every day and on weekends bartends just to have money for the bills. She also goes out and golfs and bowls and its like im not even there. I mean she lets me do alot but its only cause she feels bad that she is gone all the time. I never really see my dad at all. Its just hard growing up without really any parents.
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Babies can cost up to 200,000$.
They also need feedings every two hours or so when they get home from the hospital. Some babies don't sleep through the night, up until the first year of their life.
It costs roughly 6-8,000$ to have a baby in a hospital, and that doesn't cover the costs of the Ultra sounds, and doctor visits.
In your baby's first year, You can spend up to $9,000-$11,000 (for diapers, formula, baby furniture, clothing, baby gear, etc.)
Its going to cost roughly 1200-3400$ to get the diapers for the baby, in total.
Don't forget the cost of daycare, and insurance on the baby.
You'll have to deal with the changing, poop, dirty diapers, crying, teething, diarehha, and a babys hard stool.
Here is a list of baby things you'll need for a newborn:
o nasal aspirator
o diaper rash ointment
o 2 packages of disposable diapers or 2 dozen cloth diapers
o gentle baby soap
o no tears shampoo
o 2-4 pacifiers (you will lose them)
o blunt baby nail scissors
o baby brush and comb set
o alcohol wipes (for the cord)
o 4-6 bottles (4 and 8 ounce size)
o bottle brush
o 2 nursing bras (if nursing)
o breast pads (if nursing)
o breast pump (if nursing)
o 6 bibs
o 2-4 hooded bath towels
o 4-6 wash clothes
o 4 bassinet sheets
o 2 waterproof mattress pads
o 2 quilted crib pads
o 3-4 crib sheets
o crib bumper
o 2 comforters (depending on season)
o 2 crib blankets (depending on season)
o 6-8 snap t-shirts or onesies
o 4-6 lightweight sleepers
o 6-8 receiving blankets
o 6-8 baby gowns with pull-ties
o 4 pairs of booties or socks
o 1 sweater
o 1 snowsuit (depending on season)
What happens if you getting pregnant is something your boyfriend decides he doesn't want after you have the baby?
Then you have a baby, and no future to fall back on.
Why not get a career, and then have a baby. It will save you a lot of troubles in the long run, that way you'll have something to fall back on if things don't work out.
GL.
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