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My name is Laura and I'm 28 years old. I live in Illinois and work as a licensed veterinary technician. I am a runner, bookworm and obviously, an animal lover.I've been on this site since '05. I take hiatuses, but I'm never gone for good. I enjoy giving advice and I've made such lovely friends on this site that I couldn't imagine giving it up!
chat it up yo.
ps. here's my bestestestest friend.
I love him. You will too :)
advice
Okay, I meet this guy in august a year ago and we have become friends pretty quick well by october I started to REALLY like him well that lasted for a while and kinda died down a little. but it was never a problem Well since mid june me and him have been texting everyday and those strong feelings came back, only I started to like him alot more then I ever did. And He is a really good friend and i don't want anything awkward to come between us. and he flirts alot and he told me that he use to like me back in october but I haven't said anything about me likeing him, cause im really shy and i think it might screw up our friend ship. and he is all I think about, every text I get every message I hope its him, I love it when he talks to me, hugs me, teases me. but He flirts with basically ever girl. So i need help, I feel like Im going crazy...Am i going crazy? How do i get over him? I want to but its like a mental block that won't let go of those feelings for him. is there anyway I can get over him without screwing up my friendship with him? please help!
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=564711
From there:
I have found, firsthand, that the best way to get over a guy is to do the following:
Step 1: Have a really good cry.
- When my boyfriend and I broke up, I was super upset (like words cannot describe how bad I felt). But I told myself that I wasn't going to let it flip my entire world upside down. So I let myself have one really good cry, and then I told myself I'm going to start moving on. Which brings me to...
Step 2: Friends = lifesavers.
- Go to the mall and buy yourself something nice (don't over spend, though. Just something small, but nice. Like a new outfit or purse!) Or go see a movie, or out to dinner or something! Don't mope around your house all day doing nothing.
Step 3: Talk about it.
- It feels SO good to let it all out. Sit down with somebody you trust (for me, it was my mom) and just spill your heart out. Again, don't let it ruin your life or impact you too much.
Step 4: Move ON!
- Stop talking to him for a while (you need to give yourself time to get OVER him). Don't stalk his Facebook, spend time with other people, and don't even waste time TALKING about him.
Honestly, it's going to take time, and it's going to be hard, but once you get over him you will feel SO much better. I promise you that this guy is NOT worth wasting all of your time on, and that there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Go out and find a new guy that treats you right and is WORTH your time. Forget about this guy ASAP. You're young and have plenty of time for guys. And, as one of my favorite books puts it: The first boy is always the hardest.
Best of luck! :)
-Laura (17-f)
kay so me and my boyfriend started dating last summer...we broke up in april, then got back together this july. our one year is coming up and we don't know whether to celebrate it or not...cause if we like wait 3 months, its not the same cause he asked me out in august not november and things would get confusing right? we're obviously gonna do what we want but i just want some opinions on what you would do if you were in my situation, thankss :)
Forget about the break, because you guys got back together.
-Laura (17-f)
hey guys, okay so i'm at a pretty unhealthy weight. not so overboard that health issues are becoming a scare but enough that at the rate i am going, they very well could be in the near feature.
so i'd really like to shed some pounds. the biggest reasons i'd like to do this are for more self confidence, and because heart problems and diabetes run in my family. i'd like to be at a relatively healthy weight in order to keep myself from having any of the stated diseases. anyone who is considered overweight and has tried to lose the weight without help knows how difficult it can be, and especially if you don't really have ANY SUPPORT from your family.
SO WHAT I AM ASKING FOR IS; tips and tricks! please. just somethings i can do to help shed some pounds and become a healthier person. i'm not dying to be thin, just to be thinnER.
*oh, and if you're going to suggest a gym. i have subscribed to CURVES for women, and have been going.. what i am looking for is additional advice. and also eating habits, or sites that help with eating and diets. foods that are okay, foods that are not. that sort of thing. i can't afford weight watchers, or jenny craig because i am only 18, and can't afford that.
any advice would be very appreciated!
thankyou.
Here are a few questions I've answered lately that will help you out (it helps me too cause I don't have to re type it all out!)
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=568760
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=426456
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=568245
Good luck! If you need more help, just send something to my inbox :)
-Laura (17-f)
(14/f) Well school is starting in like 3 days, and I just have this funny feeling in my stomach. I'm going to be a freshman, and actually, Friday is just orientation. I'm excited, but I'm also nervous/scared/dreading it. I'm just sad that I have to leave a bunch of friends behind. I have maybe one true friend that's going to the same school as me, but we only have one class together! She's the one I can talk to and go to anytime, for anything... It just sucks. I like making new friends, I'm pretty good at it but I feel nervous and self conscious. If I'm around a couple of my friends, I feel real comfortable talking to others because I'm not by myself. I keep thinking about things, and I don't want to be alone. I don't want to experience high school by myself, where no one understands how I feel. I also sometimes worry about what people will think about me. :\ I've heard that high school is better than middle school, and that it has less drama. I'm not sure if I can believe that quite yet. I'm worried it's going to be MUCH worse. Since there's more people, I'm concerned I'm going to have TWICE as much of problems than in middle school. I really hate drama... I can't stand people who act 'slutty' or want to show off their beauty and stuff. I don't want to be exposed to even more 'myspace whores' or something. i don't say this to be mean, I don't know how else to put it. It annoys me so much, and I'll admit that I get a little jealous of them sometimes. Like i said before, there's going to be more people... More people for me to just look over at and think they're really pretty. So will all the guys and stuff. -.- I don't think I'm THAT attractive. I think I have a big problem with my self esteem and confidence. :\ but you know how people show cleavage on purpose, or stick their booties out just to show off or something? Then they get a CRAPLOAD of comments like, "mmm sexy/this is cute!/you're sooo pretty and gorgeous/Hot body!" It annoys me, but I'm glad that I DON'T want comments like "ohhh niceee body ;)" I also can't stand 'teacher's pets' or 'suckups.' One of my teacher's has played 'favorites' all throughout middle school. I just felt annoyed and offended. Was it because she thought I wasn't a goody goody, or that I don't suck up to her like other have done? I just don't know how I'm going to deal with these nerves. I hate the thought of twice as much of copiers, fakes, sluts, teacher's pets... If anyone gets what I mean. Not only that, I can't stand people who think they're better than others either. D:< I don't like people who think their lives are better than mine, or others. More people can also mean more people that's better than me at something. I feel like I'm not good enough, and that I just suck. I don't want to be the BEST, but I hate feeling like I can't do anything right. As I keep wondering how high school is going to be like, I don't want people to judge me. I think about "what if I'm late to class because I get lost? I don't want to be the only one to walk in the classroom, I'll look like a fool." You know how you walk in the classroom and people just stare at you?! I don't want that to happen, cause I know people will judge me, especially by my looks. Sometimes I feel ugly, compared to many girls out there. I mean, I'm pretty flatchested. -__- I also think about when lunch time comes. How will I find my friends? Like what if I get there before them. I'll be looking for a spot to sit and eat, I'll look like a lonely fool. o.o That thought makes me feel awkward. D: Another thing I'm thinking about is that I have this Keyboard-Piano class during 2nd semester. I keep thinking, "how am I going to do in this class? I bet we'll have to make up our own songs and PRESENT them in front of the CLASS. And probably take tests too... in front of everyone." I'm worried I'm going to get judged by how I can play, or how i do. On the brighter side, this is in 2nd semester. I'm thinking I'll make some great new friends by then! I'm sad that I have to leave my old friends and school behind. I've grown attached. xD I KNOW I have to move on though. Friendships in highschool seem like chaos. I hope I can make some close friends, out of everyone in the WHOLE school. o__o I'm tired of being like the 3rd wheel. I may make friends, but maybe the kind where I'm just the 'backup friend.' :( I might be acting overdramatic though... Maybe I'm overanalyzing things? I can't get over the thought, I might be one of the suckiest violin players in orchestra compared to all these other skilled players. I won't be the prettiest girl around, so guys will always look me over for all the other cute attractive girls... I don't want to be judged. I don't want to be hated. and what about being in a relationship? I don't want to get hurt. There's just SO MANY people in high school to fall for. It can also be easy to cheat on someone. :| It's also hard for me to be myself when someone has the same clothes as me. I'm pretty sure everyone has had that feeling before. It's a small town, and where else are people going to shop? Most likely the mall. x.x I don't want to seem, act, or look stupid or like a fool either. I tried out for the IB program at my school, but I got 'rejected.' It was just a big slap in the face for me because i felt like I was stupid and wasn't good enough. I'm also kind of glad because I don't think I can handle all the work. :| Which reminds me, I'm ALSO concerned about the amount of work. I'm not very good at managing my time. I also haven't read any books in the LONGEST time so I bet my brain has rotted. Can anyone give me any advice on how I can cope with my nerves? I'm sure most people will understand how I feel. D: my friend has told me to think positive. I TRY, but it's not working very well! :\ I have a major problem of letting other people get to me. One little thing, or one person can just get to me and I get infuriated very easily... I need advice... Help! (Sorry if this is long...)
Ahhh the joys of entering high school. I think I can help you, and I'll even share a few stories! ;]
I don't know why everybody is so scared, because it really isn't that scary!
Here are my tips;
1. Be yourself.
- Cheesy and cliche, I know, but it's true. You have to be yourself in order to make new friends. You want people to like you for YOU, and not a certain way you're acting or talking.
2. Wear what you want.
- This goes with the above. Don't dress a certain way to impress people, it isn't worth it. Just wear what you want, and you'll be fine. DON'T DRESS SLUTTY. It will only make people assume that you are, in fact, a slutty girl, and people usually don't like that. I'm also sure YOU wouldn't like having mean things said about you, right?
3. Talk to people, and let them talk to you.
- Making new friends is so not hard! Funny [and true!] story: I met my current best friend freshman year. We were put together as partners in our AP tech [just a fancy class with a lot of technology stations] class. The station we were assigned to had a wind tunnel, and of course being the klutz I am, I broke it. Well, I really didn't know my best friend too well yet, but he still stepped in to save me. The moral of the story: Don't be afraid to talk to new people, or let them help you when you need it. You might even end up being best friends with them like me and my friend!
4. Give people a chance, and don't judge them.
- Don't think that just because a guy is on the football team he is unapproachable and you have no shot at being friends. You never know until you try! This also goes the other way, too. Just because somebody is really smart and in band doesn't mean they aren't a totally awesome person. Also, just because you don't like somebody at first, does NOT mean you won't end up being friends later. Another true story: Sophomore year, I met another one of my good friends. We had health class together and always competed for the highest grade in the class. Well, long story short, it kind of made me mad and then one girl got a higher grade then both of us. But, the boy I competed with and I are now really good friends, and I laugh at the fact I didn't like him at first. We actually ended up dating the next school year!
5. Don't make friends with the wrong people.
- If you start talking to somebody, but they DO end up being a total loser [pothead, gossip, etc.] then don't be afraid to stop hanging out with them. Do what's right for you, not what's "cool" or anything else. You are your own person. Find people who accept you for who you are, who you trust, and who you know you can count on.
6. Go to school functions.
- Football games, dances, and pep rallies are not only a ton of fun, but a great place to hang out with friends or make some new ones. So get out your school colors and go have fun! ;]
7. Do your work, don't be a slacker.
- Look at it this way, if you do good in high school, you will get into a good college. If you get into a good college, you will get a good job. If you get a good job, you will have a better chance at being happy. Isn't it worth doing your work for 4 years to achieve a lifetime of success and happiness? I think so!
8. ENJOY your experience!
- This is probably most important. ENJOY YOUR TIME IN HIGH SCHOOL. People call the high school years the "best years of your life", why not make that saying true? Get good grades, make new friends, and enjoy the ride B]
Good Luck, and don't worry, you'll be fine!
-Laura (17-f-SENIOR)
Okay, so I really liked this guy. And I totally thought he liked me too. He definitely lead me on. But when my friend asked him if he had any interest in me he simply replied "She's not really what I'm looking for right now." Okay, so I know that's the nice way of putting it. But obviously he meant something else. You can be harsh, that's okay. If you were a guy and you said this, do you really mean it? Or is there another meaning to the words.
If a guy told me this, I'd take it as something along the lines of either "I don't want to be in a relationship with you right now." or "You're not the type I'm looking for." I'd probably assume the latter, as that's what it sounds like he's saying to me.
I really don't think there's a hidden meaning encoded in what he said. He was just being honest and telling you the truth.
-Laura (17-f)
hi does anyone have any sad love songs, or breakup songs?
examples: like broken by lifehouse or you and me or chasing cars etc. that kind of genre, thanks!
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=545691
-Laura (17-f)
I probably have the biggest breasts in my grade but, I don't like to show them off because of this weird red pattern that resembles claw marks located around my breasts.. is that because they're growing too fast? Is it permanent?
Is your bra too tight? If it's too tight and/or the wrong size, it might be what's causing it.
Go to Victoria's Secret, or their PINK store and have one of the sales girls measure you. That way, you can find out your size AND they can help you pick out something cute :)
-Laura (17-f)
Ok this guy im crazy about him. I've told him how felt like two years ago he didnt' feel the same. Were like really close now, and this summer we hav been talking a LOT! I really thought I was over him but when I saw him today all those feelings came rushing back. I've tried getting over him in the past but it just doesn't stick. Everytime he gives he smiles or teases me the emotions come back. I want to get over him I do, but part me just doesnt want to. I'm so confused and I have no idead how he feels about. I'm stuck and need help.
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=564711
From there:
I have found, firsthand, that the best way to get over a guy is to do the following:
Step 1: Have a really good cry.
- When my boyfriend and I broke up, I was super upset (like words cannot describe how bad I felt). But I told myself that I wasn't going to let it flip my entire world upside down. So I let myself have one really good cry, and then I told myself I'm going to start moving on. Which brings me to...
Step 2: Friends = lifesavers.
- Go to the mall and buy yourself something nice (don't over spend, though. Just something small, but nice. Like a new outfit or purse!) Or go see a movie, or out to dinner or something! Don't mope around your house all day doing nothing.
Step 3: Talk about it.
- It feels SO good to let it all out. Sit down with somebody you trust (for me, it was my mom) and just spill your heart out. Again, don't let it ruin your life or impact you too much.
Step 4: Move ON!
- Stop talking to him for a while (you need to give yourself time to get OVER him). Don't stalk his Facebook, spend time with other people, and don't even waste time TALKING about him.
Here are some more tips:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Honestly, it's going to take time, and it's going to be hard, but once you get over him you will feel SO much better. I promise you that this guy is NOT worth wasting all of your time on, and that there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Go out and find a new guy that treats you right and is WORTH your time. Forget about this guy ASAP. You're young and have plenty of time for guys. And, as one of my favorite books puts it: The first boy is always the hardest.
Best of luck! :)
-Laura (17-f)
how many people love their life no matter what happen or happened in your life??i do even through my ups & down im happy to still be living =)
I'm thankful for my life. I cherish each day and thank God for everything he has given me. I thank him for the amazing opportunities, and for the people he has blessed me with. I truly believe that each day is a gift.
I mean, sure, I get moody often and throw out the occasional "I hate my life!" comment, but I never mean it. I don't think people should ever mean it, because life is too short to "hate".
-Laura (17-f)
i kinda feel like i complain all of the time!
and it drives people nuts.
how can i stop complaining?
and just be happy with who i am?
and my life?
I recently answered a question about optimism that I think will help you:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=567522
From there:
1. Focus on the GOOD, stop thinking about the BAD.
2. Learn to be resilient.
3. Smile! :)
- Like I said, focus on the good. It's not always easy, but you just need to learn to do it. If something isn't going your way, just look it at from another perspective. Think about how the bad thing is making you stronger, or how it's causing other things which might even be good thing, to happen. Just think of all the good you have in your life, and be happy.
- Your friend is the perfect example. Just because you lose a game does NOT mean you're a loser. Just remember that there's always next time! Learn to bounce back from bad situations. This kind of goes with focusing on the good. Don't dwell on bad things. Learn to move on!
- Smiling does wonders. Smile at strangers. I tried this out at work for a weekend. I smiled at strangers, said "hello" to people I didn't know and told them to have a nice day when they left (which I didn't really do before) and it not only made THEM smile as well, but it made me feel so good inside.
Another tip, start a journal. You can complain all you want on paper, and it doesn't have to affect anybody. You can let it all out and never show anybody!
Hope this helps :) If you need anything else, send me an inbox!
-Laura (17-f)
I was doing stuff with a guy and he wanted to cum on my boobs..but it didnt exactly go there, it dripped toward my vag area..like on it, but not in it..it was at the top of it and then i got up really slowly and carefully and rushed to wash it off but im really scared i could be pregnant. he said im not but i dont know
If it didn't go in your vagina, it's highly unlikely that you can be pregnant. I don't even think it's at all possible if it just "dripped".
-Laura (17-f)
Heyyy I need help! My razor (Venus Vibrance) just crapped out on me. What's the best kind of razor you've used? Price doesn't matter, I just need a good one. Thanks!
The best ones to me are the cheap, disposable ones.
Every time I buy a nice, expensive one, it cuts up my legs terribly, and ends up giving me the worst razor burn ever.
-Laura (17-f)
15/f
iwant to know more faster chirsitan bands and music so i can put it on my myspace. i love hawk nelson and family force 5. i also love tobymac. that are good songs that other bands sing like those?
Relient k!
Anberlin!
Search the City.
The Classic Crime.
Number One Gun.
Stellar Kart.
Rush of Fools.
Mat Kearney.
FM Static.
-Laura (17-f)
is it okay to not want people to go to your house?
cuz i always go to my friends houses.
do they want to come here?
It's fine. One of my good friends is like that. He never wants people to come over. It doesn't really bother me, though.
-Laura (17-f)
15/f
ok so theres this guy and i know he likes me and i kinda like him too but were good friends and i really dont want to risk losing that. he asks me to go places with him all the time but i never do cause i think it might be kind of awkward. what can i do to make things less awkward and make sure that when we do go out its strictly as friends?? HELP!!
Blowing him off is certainly not going to help your situation.
I say, test it out. If you like him and he likes you, why not try a relationship? Just be sure to take it slow; don't make it serious until you're both ready for that. And also make sure to establish with him, that if things don't work out, you will want to be friends.
-Laura (17-f)
14/f
I've been asked out more than plenty of times in my life (I'm not going to complain about it) but I've never said yes to anyone. I never actually thought that the reason why was because something didn't feel right...until awhile ago a boy a really liked asked me out. And I totally blew it by the way... I totally freaked out when he asked me...I told him maybe and then I let it off for like a week...and then he told me he was moving so it would be too hard. So that was like a total slap in the face...
I think I might have commitment issues. I think my problem is that I'm really afraid to be in a relationship with someone, as much as I would love to. All my friends go in and out of these wonderful relationships and everything, and I'm so jealous of it...but even though I've had more chances than all of my friends' put together, I've turned down everyone (with that one exception...).
I don't know what to do about it. I seriously would love to have a boyfriend but I'm just too...scared. And the weird thing is I'm really good around guys, too. It's just when relationship stuff comes up...yeah....
Can anyone help me? I'd really appreciate it.
You don't have a commitment issue. 25 year olds have commitment issues.
You're 14 and not ready for a relationship. It's no big deal. You'll be ready in time, so don't feel like you NEED a boyfriend. Give yourself time, find the right guy, and things will all work out :)
-Laura (17-f)
I dated this guy two years ago. I broke up with him also. Basically, we started talking again a few months ago..and I have feelings for him. He, however, has no feelings for me. But! At first I didn't know that. I kept telling him I like him, me being stupid, didn't pick up on the fact that he never even said he liked me in the first place. All he wants is sex. Whenever we talk, it's hard to have a normal conversation because all he likes to do is flirt and/or do stuff. And, for some reason I feel by talking about other stuff, I'm boring him? Anyway. Last week, I finally had the guts to talk about me and him. I was tired of always flirting and doing stuff with him..meanwhile, he has never told me how he really feels. I said, "I like you still...but, I guess I'll have to get over it because you have no feelings for me.." His response hurt me. All he said was "yeah". He also once said he doesn't want a relationship..but he'll give me benefits? I know I sound stupid for believing that can turn in to him liking me. When he said all that.. I felt so upset. I basically didn't talk to him at all for a few days. I finally knew the truth..he used me :(. Then he randomly texts me the other day saying he's sorry he hasn't talked to me and that he'll talk to me on Sunday. I know he's going to want to flirt and all. That's all he wants me for obviously. But, I don't want to be used. I'm a very nice girl and I treat him good! It's ridiculous. So, how can I tell him that I just want to be friends but not with benefits!?
Oh and before we started dating he was the one always chasing after me. I hate how it changed. :(.
Please help. Thankyou.
The reason he stopped chasing was because you started giving him what he wants/wanted.
Just tell him straight up, "I want to be friends, but I don't want the benefits." Be open, honest, and let him know what you want. It's better to just tell him than to try and kind of, sort of, hint it to him. Chances are, he wouldn't take the hint and you'd still be stuck in this situation.
-Laura (17-f)
well. this is the thing, theres this guy. he kept looking at me and we i saw him he always looked at me and looked like he was talking to me his friends. not in a bad way, i would never of thought he liked me sooo i went with that anyways. i thought he liked me and all, and i started to like him too. but then i saw that he started going out with his ex-girlfriend and NOW im like soo hurt. i dont even know if he liked me or thought that i liked him and thats why he was like looking at me and talking about me [i think he was]
signed.
hurt and confused
Forget about this guy. He's obviously not worth your time. Find a new guy, spend time with friends and forget about him. You're young and have a ton of time left for guys. Don't let one jerk keep you down!
-Laura (17-f)
My friend can get on my last nerves. Anything exciting I tell her s do she has to have something exciting all of a sudden too, she is also a pretty big liar.How do I solve this.
I've gone through this, but I hope your outcome is better than mine.
Just talk to her about it. Tell her you don't appreciate her being fake and making things up. Let her know that just because you have a story to tell, doesn't mean she has to make one up to seem "cool" or anything. Explain to her that it's really getting on your nerves, and is actually having the reverse effect.
If that doesn't work, I agree with Christina. And this is where my situation comes in. I stopped being friends with the girl, and now I feel a lot better. I couldn't stand her fakeness and her inability to EVER listen to ME. So, if she doesn't stop, I wouldn't pursue her friendship any longer.
-Laura (17-f)
16/f
I love fashion and I have a lot of really cute clothes. The only problem is that a lot of my clothes are short sleeved or used during warm weather or heated indoors. My school turns off the heating to save money, so my school is always freezing. I'm wondering if anybody could tell me how I could stay fashionable in a cold, freezing atmosphere. Kids in my school always wear the same jackets and sweatshirts because it keeps them warm and they don't have many of them. But I would just die if I had to wear the same clothing for an entire school year. Any suggestions? Please and thank you!
Ps: I live in Minnesota so the temp is around 40-50 in the fall and spring. And winter it gets as cold as -20. Summer it gets up to 70-80.
Honestly? I think that cooler weather is the best fashion opportunity. There's so much potential to dress cute, because cold weather = wearing more clothes. I hate fashion in summer because all there is to wear are flip flops and shorts.
Like somebody said below, layering is awesome. You can do it simple: layering basic, different color tanks with some cute jeans. Or, you can play it up, and layer a cute sweater vest over a plain, long sleeve shirt.
You just have to use what you've got. Find new ways to mix your clothes. Buy basic pieces that you can wear in a ton of different ways. And buy a few really bold pieces of clothing that you can wear on special days.
Also, look for ideas in magazines. I know a lot of the time, the spreads are nothing close to what anybody would wear to school, but a lot of the time you can take the look and make it appropriate for school. Know what I mean?
Have fun :)
-Laura (17-f)