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How do I tell him I just want to be friends?
I dated this guy two years ago. I broke up with him also. Basically, we started talking again a few months ago..and I have feelings for him. He, however, has no feelings for me. But! At first I didn't know that. I kept telling him I like him, me being stupid, didn't pick up on the fact that he never even said he liked me in the first place. All he wants is sex. Whenever we talk, it's hard to have a normal conversation because all he likes to do is flirt and/or do stuff. And, for some reason I feel by talking about other stuff, I'm boring him? Anyway. Last week, I finally had the guts to talk about me and him. I was tired of always flirting and doing stuff with him..meanwhile, he has never told me how he really feels. I said, "I like you still...but, I guess I'll have to get over it because you have no feelings for me.." His response hurt me. All he said was "yeah". He also once said he doesn't want a relationship..but he'll give me benefits? I know I sound stupid for believing that can turn in to him liking me. When he said all that.. I felt so upset. I basically didn't talk to him at all for a few days. I finally knew the truth..he used me :(. Then he randomly texts me the other day saying he's sorry he hasn't talked to me and that he'll talk to me on Sunday. I know he's going to want to flirt and all. That's all he wants me for obviously. But, I don't want to be used. I'm a very nice girl and I treat him good! It's ridiculous. So, how can I tell him that I just want to be friends but not with benefits!?
Oh and before we started dating he was the one always chasing after me. I hate how it changed. :(.
Please help. Thankyou.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
The reason he stopped chasing was because you started giving him what he wants/wanted.
Just tell him straight up, "I want to be friends, but I don't want the benefits." Be open, honest, and let him know what you want. It's better to just tell him than to try and kind of, sort of, hint it to him. Chances are, he wouldn't take the hint and you'd still be stuck in this situation.
-Laura (17-f)
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It is a huge shame to here that someone as caring as you is being treated so badly by someone like this guy. Even if you still have feelings for him, if he doesn't have any for you you have to let go and try to move on. This using thing has to stop and soon, it is not ok on any level. He is using and hurting you, this might sound harsh, but if he ever actually really cared for you he would not treat you like this. He is not worth all the hassle, it is your choice if you still want to be friends with him but bottom line stop him from doing anything with you. There is only one way to really do that, and that is just put your foot down and say, "I'm not doing this anymore". The first thing to realise is it has to solidly and come from you 100%, until you want to stop it, it will not stop because as soon as he starts to try your weakness won't let you stop him. Be strong and stop it. I know it hurts, I understand that you have had feelings for him and still do to some extent but this is completely unfair on you and he has no right to treat you like this, once more, stop him now! Good luck =) (let me know how it goes k?)
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im sorry you are having to go through this.
I went through this exact same thing a year ago.
the main most important thing, is to be strong no matter WHAT he says.
he will try to flirt, say sweet things, lie, smile, etc. you have to be realistic with yourself and KNOW deep down that he is just saying what you want to hear to get what he wants,
whatever you do, no matter what he says, dont let him use you again.
fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me.
hope this helps!! email me if you need any support.=]
stephanie.ellick@gmail.com
steph 21 =]
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