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commitment issues...
14/f
I've been asked out more than plenty of times in my life (I'm not going to complain about it) but I've never said yes to anyone. I never actually thought that the reason why was because something didn't feel right...until awhile ago a boy a really liked asked me out. And I totally blew it by the way... I totally freaked out when he asked me...I told him maybe and then I let it off for like a week...and then he told me he was moving so it would be too hard. So that was like a total slap in the face...
I think I might have commitment issues. I think my problem is that I'm really afraid to be in a relationship with someone, as much as I would love to. All my friends go in and out of these wonderful relationships and everything, and I'm so jealous of it...but even though I've had more chances than all of my friends' put together, I've turned down everyone (with that one exception...).
I don't know what to do about it. I seriously would love to have a boyfriend but I'm just too...scared. And the weird thing is I'm really good around guys, too. It's just when relationship stuff comes up...yeah....
Can anyone help me? I'd really appreciate it. <3
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You don't have a commitment issue. 25 year olds have commitment issues.
You're 14 and not ready for a relationship. It's no big deal. You'll be ready in time, so don't feel like you NEED a boyfriend. Give yourself time, find the right guy, and things will all work out :)
-Laura (17-f)
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You are young, I'm assuming you still have a lot to learn about relationships. It's not about who is dating first or how many relationships you or your friends have had. Commitment is a huge word it means a lot of things and not everyone is ready to settle down and date. It's about you and when you are ready there is no rush. When you do decide to date remember you are young, You should date people and that meaning more than one. It is not healthy to lock yourself in just one relationship at such a young age unless you are truely happy. Relax, This isn't a contest of who gets who and how fast someone can date. It will come when you are ready and one day you will be.
-BahaiMa22
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I think the issues here are are and inexperience. First relationships are usually weird because you don't know what to do or how to act. It's completely normal for someone that's only fourteen years old to not be ready to commit to a full relationship. Don't push yourself to do things that you're not ready to do; even if it seems like your friends are in and out of wonderful relationships all the time. If their relationships were so wonderful, they wouldn't be out of them so often.
If you really want a relationship and are just scared, all I can tell you to do is go for it. You'll never know unless you try it. You're only fourteen, it's not like if you say yes to a guy you'll be stuck in the relationship forever. If it's not working out for you, just break things off.
Like I said, it's completely normal for you to be nervous or scared with your first relationship. The next time you really like someone and they like you back, just go for it. It's one of those situation where you can't really look before you leap or you'll psyche yourself out.
Once you're in a relationship, you'll see that it's really not as great or scary as it seems. Especially first relationships. They're just more of a learning experience, and they can be great if you're learning with a guy that is learning the same things as you. If you guys are compatible, you'll get comfortable with him and those scared feelings will fade with time.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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This is totally normal for los of people, what you have to think the first thing you need to think about, is WHY you keep turning everyone down.
Does it stem back to being abandoned by someone in your past? For many people, this is the case, for others, it's a fear of the actual commitment itself, not a fear of the person.
Are you afraid to be tied down? Are you afraid of rejection, or that the relationship will fail?
You have to ask yourself these things. Once you get to the bottom of your feelings, you can start working on a relationship.
Hope this helps!! :-)
Steph 21
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