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different around him..
19-female.
why is it that i feel the need to act subtle and shy around my best guy friend who i also have a crush on?
i'm not myself when i'm around him. i know we would have soooo much more fun if i was myself, because usually i'm crazy, i never think before i speak, i'm a craaaazy lady. i talk loud, i dance and sing like a mad woman (: i just love to have fun.
but when i'm around him i barely talk, i always think before i say something to make sure i'm not going to sound stupid. i don't sing or dance, in fear of looking dumb!
but if i do start acting like myself i'm afraid he will think its a little werid and out of the ordinary, yah know? i always feel like i have to impress him, i always have to look in the mirror.
why cant i just hang out with him in my sweatshirt and sweatpants with no make-up on and my hair thrown up? i know he wouldn't care! we love each other! we've been friends for like 6 years now.
yeah i know, 6 years, crazy! and your probably thinking, "how are you not comfortable with him yet?" but he does something to me that when everytime i see him, my heart skips a beat, and i get super shy and don't know what to say!
oh, yah forgot to say, he has a girlfriend. which makes things more difficult.
he is very outgoing, he's funny, he makes me laugh like no other. i wish i could do the same for him. i remember once i said something like i'm not myself when i'm with you and hes like why? and i was just like i dont know! i'm different when i'm with other people and he was like why arent you like that with me! so i know he wants me to be myself, but i can't let myself go.
how can i overcome this? anything is appreciated (:
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I guess you said it yourself -- you have a crush on him. A big one. :)
Maybe you won't be able to act yourself around him until you either get over your crush, or he begins to reciprocate.
In any case, I'm a nineteen-year-old guy, and almost all of my friends are girls. One of my closest friends had a crush on me for about a year before I realized it. She was always acting really shy around me, more than she used to, and she tried to impress me. I didn't notice -- until someone pointed it out to me. But when I figured out how she felt, I asked her out, and we dated for a bit and had a good time. It didn't work out, but it was good while it lasted, and we're still friends.
Anyway, my point is, maybe he doesn't know that you like him. Maybe he likes you too and just doesn't realize it yet, because you're such good friends.
If he's the clueless type like me, then there's not much you can do. Maybe try to signal to him that you're interested, and maybe things will work out between you and him!
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If you two are best friends than you should have no problem just being youself and he should have no problem excepting who you are. I know what it's like to like someone the feeling of always having to look your best and put on the best impression but again you should be who you are. If he likes you even as a best friend, Then there must be a reason why. Just be yourself, Relax.
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I know exactly what you mean, but the thing is, there's nothing anyone can tell you to help you overcome it. You know both what the problem is, and how to deal with it: Be YOURSELFFFFFFFFFFF!!! You say you feel the need to impress him all the time. Acting shy and reluctant ISN'T impressing him. If anything, your dorky, outgoing, weird self is obviously more appealing to him. Just think: you could be having wayyy more fun and not feel pretentious, AND he could be appreciating the real you if you'll just... let go. Don't think. Just be. Simple. TOO simple, right? Right. I'm sorry, but that's all I can tell you. The only one complicating things is you! He liked you before, he likes you now, so chances are he'll like you even if you end up making a fool of yourself in front of him. Hey, he may even just find that endearing.=] And best of all, you'll be enjoying yourself more instead of stressing over how you look or how you're acting. More laughs, fonder memories, better bonding. Just remember: DON'T THINK. JUST BE.=]
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