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I feel SO bad. My bf got beat up cuz of me.
Alright. So I'm a 16/F and this is what happened. My boyfriend and I were at a party the other night and we ran into trouble. There was this one other guy there (we'll call him J) and so J, me, and this other girl were just chilling on the couch while my boyfriend was off playing pool or something. So J takes my hand and starts leading me away from the couch and I'm just kind of like okayyy... because I mean, I didn't really know this kid too well but I was just like whatever, he probably just wants to get some food or something. Well he starts taking me back towards this room and I stop outside the door and I'm like "What are you doing?" and J says, "Come in here with me." I started babling like an idiot "What? No, my boyfriend- I- huh?- why?" and he leaned in real close, put his hand on like the small of my back (because I was trying to back away) and whispered "It'll be fun just come on." Weeeell, as you can guess, this looks a little shady. I mean, this guy is still holding my hand, he's whispering in my ear, got his hand on my back, and we're standing in the doorway of a dark room. Which is GREAT timing for my boyfriend to look over and see us. So my bf storms over and he's like "What the he** are you doing?" And I had already pulled away from J but J shoves me behind him and is all like "What's your problem, dude? I'm a little busy right now." Ha, yeah, let's just say that REALLLY pissed my bf off. He gets all up J's face and says "Yeah, with MY girlfriend. Now get the f*$@ away." Well, I myself would walk away right about now, but J's got the doorway blocked so I'm kind of just standing there like a worthless bag of poo, trying to get out when, oh goody, J makes it worse and said something like "Well your girlfriend is obviously a slu* if she was about to come in her with me" and before I could say "I wasn't going in there with you!!", my bf punched J in the face. They start getting into it right there, and a few other guys pull em off of eachother. They both got a little beat up, and the girl throwing the party got all pissed and was like "Get out of here!" So yeah. We got kicked out of the party... I felt HORRIBLE. I mean, like, I just felt so bad. I know I wasn't the one getting into the fight, but I just felt really guilty. Not for getting kicked out of the party but because my bf had like a blackeye and gosh, I just feel horrible, I feel like its all my fault. I mean, like jeez. I apologized like a million times to him, and his parents because they were all "What happened!?!" and ugh. I just feel so bad. My bf says its no big deal and he doesn't get why I feel so guilty but he got hurt and I feel like its my fault. What can I do to make it up to him? Am I being stupid for feeling like this?
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You just contacted me saying:
Uhm can you read?? This question is a year old?and thanks for calling me a slut. Cause you really know me. I'd call you a bitch but I dont judge people based on one computer entry. If you were wondering, my bf cheated on me four months later. Nice try though. Thanks so much for your awesome advice. Next time, before you call someone a deceptive, dirty, lying, little slut you should probably know what your talking about.
My answer: I wanted to say...
Well, yes. Of course I can read. Im writing back to you correct? Duh! Apparently you can also. And obviously the fact that this post being a year old does not matter. YOU STILL GOT MY MESSAGE! And that makes me so happy. I was hoping that I'd be able to tell you to your face that your lies and deception were not believable. You also said that, your by boyfriend ended up cheating on you like 4 months later. For all we know, that may just be another one of your lies. So whats your point? If he did cheat on you, Goood for him! I'm glad he realized that hes was with a lil slutty girl who plays games, has no sense of loyalty and plays games then turns around and acts as if she doenst know what she has done. I'm so so glad that he didn't waste his life being dedicated to so girl who doesn't love him back. I will say it again. YOUR OWN CONSCIOUS CONVICTED YOU, NOT ME!. YOU came here and telling the community YOURSELF that YOU felt bad, asking how can you make it up to him. Why? BECAUSE YOU KNEW deep inside YOU WERE GUILTY. Why would you want to correct something, if you did nothing wrong? That makes no sense. I will tell you what else makes no sense. You said you would call me a bit@h but you dont judge people on a computer entry. If you place no importance on entries from boards like this, why come here in the 1st place asking for advice for life issues? It makes no sense. You just didnt like what I told you. You wanted advice. I gave it to you. I see a whole year later, YOU ARE STILL PLAYING GAMES and NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS. Shame on you!! Read my lips : STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH LIFE. That's your prescription lil girl. Stop lying & playing games. Face your problems, fix them and enjoy life
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Oh, c'mon. Ignore the person below me. What the hell were you supposed to do? Just kick the guy and run away? You already told him no. You didn't even know what was going on. You couldn't even do anything. And you can't exactly just run and get away when your boyfriend shows up because like you said, J had the door blocked. Guys are stronger anyway and if he didn't want you to get past him, he'd make sure you didn't.
Your boyfriend had a right to get mad. Not at you, just at the guy. He coulda handled it better instead of punching him in the face though. Not the best idea. But hey, no one thinks things through when they're pissed off like that. It wasn't a big deal that he took your hand. If someone did that to me that I didn't even really know, I'd think the same thing you did.
Don't feel bad. It's not your fault your they started fighting. You couldn't do anything to stop it. It wasn't your fault. Relaaax. :)
He said it was no big deal and he understands you didn't know what was going on and you couldn't get away. But if you still wanna make it up to him, you could do somethin kinda big I guess, like taking him to a concert or a baseball game or something.
Hope I helped:D
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well, you might not wanna hear this but you should feel bad.
you handled the situation wrong and let things go too far, but it also sounds like everything just got kind of out of control. if your boyfriend didn't come in and see you with "J" none of this probably would of happened...as long as you didn't do anything with J...
well anyway don't let what happened get to you too much, its over now...in the past. something about guys is they get over a lot of things quickly. he might of felt angry, fustrated, and embarrassed at first but now he probably doesn't care in the slightest. just don't talk about it, maybe do something with him later like go to the mall or on a date to a movie or something and just be nice to him, it'll all be fine later, everything will dissapear over time. if he says he's okay with what happened then he is
hope i helped
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The holding your hand and taking you somewhere doesn't seem like a friend thing. But if you say it doesn't matter, and you would be ok if some girl came up to your boyfriend grabbed his hand and took him somewhere then alright its nothing. I know its not what you want to hear but letting it get that far to where he was already about to take you into a room, is bad. You shouldn't have let it got that far. And when it did you shouldn't have tried to explain you had a boyfriend, just have left. Your boyfriend is gunna stick up for you no matter what. He's ok and you cant take that fight back. What you can do is DONT LET IT GET THAT FAR. It's not necessary for a guy to hold your hand to take you somewhere. He says "lets go get something to eat" You say "ok". Think about it if he said "lets go in a dark room and fool around". Would you have gotten off that couch?
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Well, you definitely could have handled the situation better right off the bat. If I was at a party with my boyfriend and a guy grabbed my hand period, I would pull my hand away, tell him I have a boyfriend and walk away. You shouldn't have let him lead you all the way to the entrance of an empty room. You probably just got nervous or something, but for future reference, things like that can be avoided if you stand your ground right off the bat before things get weird.
In the meantime, it sounds like your boyfriend's going to be fine. Yeah, he has a black eye, but that will clear up within a week and all will be well again. It's not technically your fault that they got into a fight because your boyfriend is the one that threw a punch, but as I said, that all could have been avoided.
Your boyfriend has already said that it's no big deal, so I'd just let it die away. Don't keep bringing it up. You can ask him how he feels tomorrow or whatever, but just leave it alone after that.
You should go out and see a movie or go to dinner tomorrow. That will make things less weird then if you just didn't talk about it for a week, then tried to hang out again. If there's a movie out that you know he wants to see, ask him if he wants to go with you. If dinner and a movie isn't your thing, take him for a walk somewhere quiet and romantic. A beach, lake, the park; depends where you live and what's around. Or if there's a location that you know he likes to hang out that he doesn't get to go to very often, offer to go there with him. The whole thing will blow over, just don't be weird about it and bring it up all the time.
Darby(:
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Hi :]
I'd feel guilty too but I mean, it's not your fault you were in shock as soon as you found out what "J" was trying to lead you into... I'd probably react the same (except the holding my hand thing lol). It's not wrong to feel guilty, but I'd say take care of your bf lol. Make him feel better, treat him nice, kiss his booboo's, he stood up for you! Just be there for him, make sure he heal's well and be the best girlfriend you can be :]
Uniq
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