about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
My FAQ






Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

i kind of have a really wierd/long problem so it would be cool if some one would im me... i would kind of rather a guy's point of view on it.. NO OLDER THAN 18 please.. but any help is good..

katexosays -- aim

You can post in my inbox and I'll be happy to help. I'd rather not help on AIM. I would like to help on here.

Just post whatever it is in my inbox, and I'll answer it as best as I can!

--Jack
(15/m)

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i know masturbation is healthy and all, but how much is too much? i masturate 2-3 times a day, mostly right before i go to bed at night, but sometimes during the day when noones home.

Hello.

I've heard that some girls masturbate even WAY more than you. I'd say you're normal and its fine. And like the columnist said below.. as long as it isn't consuming your social life in any respect, its also fine.
Masturbation, as I've heard, is actually quite healthy for you.

When you let masturbation affect your relationships with family and friends, then it's too much.

For more information on masturbation- visit http://coolnurse.com/masturbation.htm

--Jack
(15/m)

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okay so i just started to hang out with this guy (we're not going out. i've only made out with him once) and im pretty sure he's more into me than i am to him. hes at the beach and he told me that the stars were really beautiful and they reminded him of me.
now as cute as that sounds, im really not into cheezy things like that. hes also in a band which might be a reason for this whole passionate thing.
how do i deal with this? do i tell him straight up he's too sensitive?

i mean we only talked a bit and he's kinda rushing things. help please!

Honestly, I don't think he's rushing things, and he's definitely not being over-sensitive. All he said was "that the stars were really beautiful and they reminded him of you". Is that "rushing it", really? I don't think so.. but.. I'm going to stop my lecturing, and answer your question:

But if you think that he's rushing things and he's too sensitive, you should just tell him straight up. How else is he going to know how you feel? He surely can't read your mind ;]. But, you shouldn't be too rude about it. Just be honest [more with the rushing thing] and as nice [more with the sensitive thing] as you can about it. Everything should be fine, and hopefully he takes it well.

--Jack
(15/m)

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I need guts to answer this!I'm just curious but guys what do you always look for in a girl?And nothing perverted!

Hello! I see this question a lot, and I'm going to give you the link to one of them, and then also copy one of my answers.

Here was the question:
[[How can you,being a guy, tell that you LIKE a girl. Like what are some things guys do purposely or not purposely that show they like a girl as more than a friend ? ]]

Here was my answer:

Honestly- its different for every guy. I myself tend to find myself wanting to hang out with her. Like at school, I purposely try to take a different route to a class just to see said girl. I smile at her when I'm with her. I make stupid jokes. I find a reason for her to get "mad" at me, and hit me on the arm. I laugh at something she says, even if its not funny at all. I smile at her [yes, I realize I said it twice.. it means its a definite must]. I possibly grab for her hand- and then smile and say "Just kidding".
I do a lot of flirty things when I'm with a girl I like. Most things are on purpose, not on accident. =].

If a guy smiles at you a lot, it means you have a funny-looking face or he likes you. I think it tends to be the latter of the two.

Hope I helped.. it took me awhile to come up with a good list.


AND!

Here was the question:
I was wondering, What do guys look for in a friend thats a girl ? Do they like someone who is more boyish?

Here was the answer I gave:
It really depends on the guy. Personally- I look for a girl [friend or potential girlfriend] who has spunk. She's gotta be her own person and be smart, funny, nice, and just overall a great person. I think if you truly and honestly just be your own person and be yourself- not like everyone else- you'll attract more guys than you could ever imagine. Trust me- I shy away from girls that are fake.

Good luck!




--Jack
(15/m)

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um this is a sort of personal question but i have to have an opinion on this.my boyfriend has been like my bestfriend since i we started really talking.we were friends before we got together and i was going out with other guys.when i wasnt talking to them or my bff/sister,i was talking to him.and i had one really bad break up & i cherished him for truely being there for me.it took a while for him to ask me but i ended up dating my bestfriend.we did have some times where things were sketchy but we never argued,since we were friends we had no problem telling eachother what was up.now we have been together for seven months.im going to a different school and im may be moving too.i told him and he almost cried and i did.(very girl-like of me,i know) so if i do have to leave him i wanted give him something important and precious to me.and this would be of my own will.we have talked about sex and he said it was entirely up to me.i just want to know how to make sure this is something i won't regret one day.i know he respects and loves me but how can i be sure this is the right thing?

If you're EVER questioning if you should do it, you probably shouldn't. You're not 100% confident in this idea, and I can tell, since you're taking time to ask this question. My advice is to not just have sex with him because you're leaving. I'm sure you'll be able to see him again soon, whether you're moving or not. I've heard most people who have lost their virginity at a young age like you have regretted it tremendously, and others haven't. It's ultimately your decision, but again, you're having doubts.. and that is a red flag in my book.
Maybe make a scrapbook of pictures of you two together. That would be just as special!

--Jack
(15/m)

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I'm female and I'm 5'5" and 125 lbs. which is a normal weight for my age. I'm 17 years old, about to be 18 in just a few short months.

I would say that I am in shape.
But..
I have always had trouble running. Whenever I run for 3 minutes or above I get very out of breath and I have to stop immediately. This has been bad for me in several aspects of my life.
My mom did smoke when she was pregnant for me and I have lived with second hand smoke my whole life. When I reached 13, I started going into different rooms to be away from the smoke, because that was the time when I learned it was bad for me. So, in the past 4 years of my life, I have tried to stay away from smoke, which has helped in my opinion.
I think that my lungs either didn't grow properly as a child or I have asthma.
Whenever I tell my mother that I think I have asthma, she doesn't believe me or brushes it off. Most would say that she's stubborn.

I want to know what I can do to allow myself to run for a longer period of time without feeling exhausted and out of breath.

Also, could it be possible that I actually have asthma? I'm not well educated on the symptoms or side effects of the disease, so I'm not completely sure if I have it or not.

Any help would be appreciated.

Jen

Hey!

I myself have asthma, and so does my brother. Granted, I'm not an expert on it, but I think I do know a bit about it. My brother's asthma is worse than mine, but I have it, nonetheless, and whenever I run, within 2 minutes I find myself completely out of breath and I am wheezing [it feels like a sort of scratch in your lungs/throat and sounds like you're a toad.. sorry.. I'm trying to describe this, and I sound like an idiot.. haha]. Anyway, does this sound like you? If so.. I'm no doctor, but you could very well have a mild/weak form of asthma. I suggest seeing your doctor, as he/she is the only one who could properly diagnose you with asthma.
As for running, just take it easy. There isn't much you can do.. maybe just keep drinking water, and breathe in through your nose, and out your mouth. This is a trick I learned in middle school in gym about regulating your breathing rate. Just try to keep your breathing steady.

Again, I suggest seeing a doctor sometime soon, and if your mom doesn't believe you or whatever, tell her that it is really important to you, and that she wouldn't want to let her own daughter down.
And if you do have asthma.. she's going to have to find some way to either quit or reduce her smoking.. because it is slowly damaging your lungs. Second hand smoke is terrible!

--Jack
(15/m)

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I REALLLLLLY want a talent show at my school. but my school dosnt have talent shows. what do i do???

Ask your principal. Going directly to "the man" or woman, for that matter, will ensure that you get the best reaction. Write a letter to him, telling all the reasons you would think a Talent Show would be beneficial to your school- like it would allow students to express themselves. Stuff like that. You could meet in person- but as your principal is probably a really busy person, writing the letter would be best, as it is set in stone, and isn't going anywhere, unless of course he/she throws it out, of course.
If you're writing this letter, make sure it is official. The more official, the better. I have answered questions in the past about writing a letter to principals to get programs/sports at their school.. here is the link to one of them:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=500551

Good Luck!
--Jack
(15/m)

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I met this guy Trey on myspace. He sent me a message saying that I am very pretty...and we started talking. He knows the guys and girls i know so I know that he is real. Well he is really sweet, and he said whenever we hang out he will ask me out. Two nights ago he came over... we made out and just messed around [nothing serious] and we had so much fun. We cuddled and layied ontop of each other and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. He did'nt ask me out. On the phone he mentioned something that he doesnt want a relationship...but i want him to know somehow that i really want one. I invited him over tonight, and he's trying to find a ride over. How can I let him know what I really do want a relationship?

Oh yeah, I'm 15/f and he's 16/m

Just flat out tell him. If you aren't honest, how is this relationship ever going to happen? That's right, it won't. Tell him that you were under the impression that he wanted a relationshiop with you [even if it may not have been the smartest idea to meet up with someone you didn't exactly know- even if friends knew him, but I'm not going to lecture you, as it seems as if it turned out alright]. He gave you that impression of wanting the relationship, and you realized that you really would like to take him up on his offer. If he doesn't seem interested.. I think he's just in for the making out and potential sex [I don't know if that will be part of your friendship, but if it does, and he doesn't want you as a girlfriend- he's using you for sex- just know that].

See how it goes, and then judge what you'll do next. If he seems interested in a relationship with you, then go for it! He may not have asked because he may have forgotten or thought it was too early to ask.

Good Luck!
--Jack
(15/m)

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Maroon 5 is coming in concert in awhile! I really want to go but in the song "makes me wonder" they use the f- word a lot, and my mom doesnt like that. do artists usually say these things in concerts during their songs?

thx!

First off, I'm super jealous. I love Maroon 5.. and you're so lucky to have the chance to go!

Anyway.. I just went to an MCR [My Chemical Romance] concert in Feb. and no, they didn't censor their lyrics; granted, they have MUCH more usage of the f-word, and other swear words as well. They did swear a lot in between songs, and it kind of got on my nerves, actually. I really like the band, but it didn't help much that they seemed like trash, for lack of a better word.
I am going to assume that Maroon 5 will do the same, as in they won't censor the concert, and they will probably swear a bit betwixt [in between.. just a fancy word I've been dying to use!] songs, and like lauraxomichelle said, they strike me as a "classy" and more reserved band than Green Day and MCR, for that matter.

As for your mom, just tell her that you are not a child anymore, and that hearing the word from Maroon 5 won't make you want to say it anymore than hearing it from someone else who isn't famous. Tell her that maybe you'll cover your ears or let it "go in one ear and out the other", if you wish, but don't tell her that unless you're actually going to do that. Lying isn't the best thing to do with your parents. They'll catch you one way or another.

Hope your mom lets you go to the concert! Again, I'm really jealous!
--Jack
(15/m)

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we started off talking and it took me forgever to give him my number then we talked on the phone, and i got to know him really well, after knowing him for 4 months we wanted to be boyfrind girlfriend so we did i really dont know how it got started or who said it but we stared to say i love you well i really got into it and i ment it well 3 weeks ago he was talking to his friend and he asked him \"do you really love her\" well he calls me and says i dont want to say i love u any more im really upset at this point then he tells me \"i only said it because you did\"

what shoud i do ?

I am having dejavu. Brandi [ygsgirl] is ABSOLUTELY right!!
I can't tell you how happy you should be.. he is being honest.. something I couldn't do in my last relationship, and it caused the relationship to end- because I kept saying those three words.. and I didn't exactly mean it. I mean, sure I really liked her.. but it didn't seem to me that we would get married or anything- we were just going out because we both liked each other a lot, in my eyes. But when I told her one day that I didn't exactly mean it, I was just saying it because I felt I had to, I just ended the relationship. Then she went around and told everyone I used her, blah, blah, blah.

Okay.. so beside my blabbing, I think that your relationship will go much farther than mine did- because if he is willing to be honest with you, you know that you can trust him, and be honest with him, as well. Your relationship will be based on trust, not lust. Love is a word that is thrown around a lot.. and isn't meant most of the time.. like in the Snow Patrol song "Chasing Cars":

"Those three words
Are said too much
But not enough,"

Meaning that "I love you" is said a lot, but it isn't meant most of the time, as I just said.
Be glad that he's being honest with you, and hold onto this guy, because most guys aren't trustworthy and honest.

--Jack
(15/m)

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i know there are some websites that have symbols for myspace like,,diamonds...dots..circles..stuff like that. can you please give me a websrite that has those stuff on it.

Hello!

Here are a few that have nice charts:
http://www.123mycodes.com/special-characters.php
http://www.myspacenow.com/myspacespecialcharacters.shtml
http://www.copypastespace.com/special.php
http://www.myspace-codes.com/myspace_special_characters.htm

Hope that helped!

--Jack
(15/m)

only search advicenators.com

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does anyone know any good tutorial sites for facebook? cos i jsut got 1 and idk wtf im doing

http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=CuxMiBeckNow7

I have a facebook.. and I think I know the site pretty well. You can post any questions you have in my inbox. Seriously.. I would be MORE THAN HAPPY to help you. And today has been a super slow day for answering questions on here.

--Jack
(15/m)

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my boyfriend and i are both virgins and never went past making out with anyone else until we met each other. for sure. are we still at risk for STDs?

Yes, because STDs can be passed onto offspring, so if your either of your parents had one, you could have gotten it. And everyone is at risk for getting them. If you're going to have sex, use a condom to prevent the transfer of STDs..
I'm not sure if your question was can either of you have STDs now, or are you able to get them?

Either way, the answer is yes.

--Jack
(15/m)

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ok...when i watch girls like booty dance or do stuff like that i sort of get an orgasm. does this mean i am a lesbian? i couldnt ever imagine making out with a girl or anything but why does this happen? i dont think i like girls! help :(

I would say no. Teenage years are a confusing time for us [as I've heard].. and its usually when most of us [not all of us... because I know I'm straight] question our own sexuality. If you like watching that.. then fine.. experiment with it. If you find yourself not liking it.. you're probably not a lesbian. If you can't imagine yourself making out with another girl [or being sexual with another female, for that matter], you're probably not a lesbian. I'd say you're just a regular hormonal teenage girl. You're fine.

--Jack
(15/m)

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okay so i am going to be a freshman in september. i am really scared, whats freshman year like? do the sophmores, juniors and seniors torture you?! what happenes on freshman friday?

another question, how do i make new friends? that might sound like a stupid question but, im shy. how do i become friends with some of the other freshman, sophmores, juniors or seniors? i want high school to be the best years of my life!

thanks for the helpp!!! =]

Hey!

I was a freshie last year.. it was horrible. On the first day.. I was thrown in the trash can and then I got a swirly! I was miserable the entire day. My friend got thrown over the "Senior Rail" and she almost had to get stitches! On Freshmen Friday.. it was even worse.. 12 people got sent to the hospital.


Okay.. so I'm totally kidding. Freshmen year IS NOT like that. And to debunk the rumor: There is NO SUCH THING as Freshmen Friday. It just doesn't exist. No one is going to throw you in a trash can, and you'll be fine. That isn't to say, Seniors, Juniors and Sophomores will like you, because most won't like you one bit, just because of your level on the high school food chain. But, it is still possible that you will make friends with Seniors, Juniors, Sophomores, and fellow Freshmen just by sitting next to them in a class. Trust me, you will make many new friends, and you will also lose some. But, because of this ordeal, you will find out who your real friends are.. the ones that are willing to keep the relationship going even if you don't have any classes together and you see each other about once a month.
As for making friends in general, I know this will sound redundant, but you need to be yourself. If you try to be something you're not, it will end up backfiring and you won't like how it turns out. Being fake and not yourself will cause you to have many "enemies", I guess you could say, and high school won't be what you want it to be. If you lie about yourself, people won't want to be friends with you... at all.

Good luck.. and if you need any more advice as you go through your freshmen year.. I am here to help.. just post in my inbox, and I will answer as best as I can!

--Jack
(15/m/SOPHOMORE!)

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Hi Jack,
Recently, for the past few days- I have been really irratable. I will start flipping out on people, and get really annoyed, really easily. I feel as if I am not normal, and I do not belong because of my actions. How can I stop, and is there something wrong with me?
Thanks, your really awesome, and I admire you as a columnist.

First of all... as I do with all other inbox questions... I am going to thank you for posting in my inbox. It means a lot to me that you admire me as a columnist and think I'm awesome. I really and honestly appreciate it!

Well.. I am always irritable after I get home from school [its summer so it hasn't been that often].. and I figured out why. It is because I was having to get up at 6:00 in the morning every day [couldn't sleep in on weekends because I have church on Sundays and chores on Saturdays] and going to bed at midnight or later [y'know.. the time when you can go to Wendy's or Burger King and STILL get a meal? LOL!]. Well.. because of this.. I wasn't getting enough sleep.

Let's explore this thought. Have you been getting enough sleep? That is, have you been getting AT LEAST 8 hours, maybe 9? I know what you're thinking. Its summer! Of course I have! I've been sleeping in every day! Well yes, its summer.. and people our age [I'm assuming you're a teenager] tend to stay up, whether to be "cool" or because they have a TV show to watch or whatever. Going to bed at 1am, 2am, or 3am, or any time AFTER 11pm isn't the smartest thing to do. I read somewhere that your body actually does most of its recharging, I guess, between 11pm and 2am, and if you aren't asleep during most or all of that time.. you're going to be extremely tired the rest of that day. So.. if you're tired.. normal things that wouldn't cause you to be angry will be magnified times a million.. and they will easily piss you off. Like for me, if I'm really tired, and someone asks me to do something.. I get mad.

If that isn't the case, let's explore another possible factor: Stress. Are you stressed or worried about anything? Do you have something coming up that you don't want to do, but you have to do it? This happens to me a lot.. and it just causes me to be stressed out, and when I'm stressed, I'm much like how I am when I'm tired- I get pissed easily. If this is the case, that you are stressed, then just take things slowly and one at a time. Don't let simple things overwhelm you.

If that isn't the case... just try relaxing. If you feel that you're irritable and pissed off.. find a place to sit and calm down.. like your bedroom, somewhere outside, or any soothing place to be. As for your actions.. I know how you feel. I get really embarrassed that I acted a certain way, and I don't feel like I belong. After you are calm, go back to the people you "flipped" out on, and just apologize for what you did. You don't have to make up excuses.. just be completely honest.

Good luck.. and I actually took time to answer this, because I relate well to this situation, and I felt obliged to help you.

--Jack
(15/m)

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heyy i asked a question on the site about the honesty box application on facebook & you said that there REALLY isn't a way to find out who said it.

how do you know this for a fact? are you super techno-savvy? cause i really wanna say something to someone & it would be kinda bad if they found out.

thanks so much.. i know i'm paranoid =)

Hey!

http://www.facebook.com/apps/application.php?id=2552096927

From there:
"Are you going to reveal the names sometime?
No. We will never reveal who sent messages on Honesty Box."

and

"What is Honesty Box?
Honesty Box lets you find out what your friends really think about you, your haircut, your body, your friends etc' by putting a box on your profile that people can use to send you anonymous messages."


I am absolutely 100% SURE that no one will know it is you, but you. Really.

--Jack
(15/m)

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My birthday was June 30th. It was my 16th birthday. I don't know why they forgot my birthday.. they've never forgotten anything of mine before. There wasn't anything going on around that time.. I don't know what the problem is! I am not a bad girl.. my GPA is a 3.85 and I'm always doing chores. Why did they forget? Should I say something? Because every time I tell them they did something wrong, even if it was that they didn't put on their seatbelt, I'm grounded for 2 weeks, and I'm not even exaggerating.
Its been almost 3 weeks since my birthday..

Tell them. They were being irresponsible and rude. If you get grounded for telling them, then be grounded with pride. They need to be set straight and told they forgot your 16th birthday: one of the most important birthdays of your childhood. They were wrong, and telling them is the only thing left to do. I wonder if you waited 3 weeks to test them??

I'm so sorry!
--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

How do I become a moderator?

http://www.advicenators.com/faq.php?f=67

How do you get to be a level I moderator?
You must meet these qualifications:

* You've been rated five times
* Your average rating is at least 4
* You joined one month ago
* If you've ever been banned, it was at least six weeks ago
* You've updated your column in the last week

--Jack
(15/m)

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me and my boyfriend have been together for a couple weeks
but weve been talking for like 2 months. i trust him and everything but should i have sex with him?
or should i wait?

im not a virgin so its not like my frist time.

what should i do?

Think about it: You've known this guy for two months. I wouldn't just have sex with him because you "trust him". And you've only been together a couple of weeks. Your relationship is only in the first stages.. how could you possibly know how long you'll be together or whether or not he is a genuine guy not just looking for sex. I wouldn't have sex with him, nor would I give in to him if he asked you to. Do what you want, but it certainly isn't worth it. Two months isn't that long to know someone and then just have sex with them.

--Jack
(15/m)

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