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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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I'm 17 F, and I have a major crush on this guy. On Tuesday I was talking to him (we have conversations occasionally, like once every week or two), and he suggested I read this one book. Wednesday evening I started the book and I'm really enjoying it. Would it be weird if I went up to him tomorrow (Friday) and told him that I'm liking the book he recommended?

I think you can answer that question yourself if we reverse it around. Say that you recommended a book to him and he really enjoyed it and started reading it immediately and a couple days later came and told you he was enjoying it. Would you think he was weird for saying that to you?
I'm betting the answer is no.

Guys are shy about asking girls out, afraid of rejection, feel awkward and generally fear making grievious mistakes in how they act due to not having much experience so they feel it safer to just enjoy the girl as a friend. Its not a guarantee this guy is interested in you that way. But I can guarantee that the longer you both stay in the friend zone, it becomes even harder to make the move into dating..the fears grow. So its best to go for it at this point early on. I wouldnt even see it as odd or out of place to say something like, I like your choice in books, if and I like some other things about you. I am wondering if we could maybe spend more time hanging out together to see if we like more things about each other and see where that leads, maybe even to dating. If he only sees you as a friend and has no romantic feelings towards you, then heres his moment to say something. And the way its worded actually leaves him a way out naturally without it being awkward for him. Let me know how it goes if you'd like.

Hey guys me and my boyfriend had sex on the 24th of Jan and he came inside of me then 3days later on the last 3th day few hours before the day was over I took the morning after pill 20minutes Later I vomit it out the a week before my periods was due I start to spotted but it came and go away for long then on the 5th day I had a one day period then the week late on the 15 of Feb I had to get my periods but I never did ever since then I was having moods crying being angry cramping boibs hurt I took two test and both was negative can now my stomach feel hard sometimes and my boyfriend said my nipples is getting big.any ask will be help full thanks xoxox!!!

If you are a teen, teens are known to have irregular periods. Its only a few who have them regular, same time, same length, same flow each month. The rest of us can have no periods for a couple months even though you've had periods before or get two in one month or heavy flow to light, one day or 7 or more in length. Basically, all over the place and that is regardless whether sexually active or not. I did not do sex while in school and my periods were all over the place with months often of none. Your body is still trying to get used to the hormones and continueing to grow, mature body wise and become more regular.
It might be best to see a Dr to have them test you for pregnancy. AT least this way you can put your mind at rest.
However, if you were not fertile and not ovulating at the time you had sex with him coming inside you, then there was no need for the morning after pill and any symptoms you have are either just in your head meaning your thoughts are so focused on this that you are creating the symptoms and the symptoms can and will be very real but they will have no connection to a pregnancy.
I wouldn't be taking this kind of risk myself, sex with no protection. If you can not do the mature thing and go to a Dr. to get on birth control, then you are not ready for sex and all the responsibilities that come along with it. Not trying to sound mean here, just stating a fact. I don't know what your reasons were for not having any condoms plus no birth control but now that you are sexually active, you can't go easily back and try to be celibate and never have sex until ready to marry. So...that means seeing a Dr. getting a check up to make sure all is okay and getting on birth control. Teens think they have to tell the parents who would then take them to the Dr. and thats too embarassing or the parents would say no. Well, there is a law now that teens have rights when it comes to their reproductive systems to seek medical advise and care and yes, birth control too and they are not allowed to tell your parents you've seen them. Even if you saw the family Dr. they are not allowed to tell your parents anything unless you said it was okay to tell. I would see a Dr. to make sure you are not having allergic reactions to the hormones, even though inside you only 20 minutes. And then ask for birth control.

So I've asked a couple of questions on here where the responses suggested that I talk to my mom or go to my doctor (which would involve talking to my mom). The problem is, I would not be allowed to be on this site if my mom knew about it. So how do I explain to her why I think a certain thing about me or my body? I don't want to lie to her, but I don't want to get in trouble either...

You can go see A Dr. but not have to be your family Dr. unless you want to. If this is related to your reproductive system, then you can go to Planned Parenthood. They can take care of all sorts of related medical concerns there and the law is they can't share with your parents unless you okay it. So you can actually go to a clinic at a time your parents aren't expecting you at home.

Your parents love you but not all parents are perfect and we have our own ideas of whats best for our kids. You won't be able to change the parents views in time to take care of any very personal related issues. So you may have to keep these things from them. If you wish to tell Mom, just mention you read an article in a magazine or a teen magazine once some time ago so you can't name the magazine or what months issue but it was about teen health and your case in particular. Now that you are having the same issue, you remember the article and that you want to see the family Dr. If the parents refuse, then you would still have to go the route of seeing a Dr. they don't know of and get your needs taken care of. Its up to you and you know them best whether they are most likely to still refuse to take this seriously and take you to the Dr. So if that would be the case, then perhaps you want to avoid the delay and look for a free womens clinic or planned parenthood. If you don't know where to look, you could ask the school nurse where you can go.

So, this story is a little bit long and detailed, so just bare with me if you can :).
I have a boyfriend. We've been together now for about 4 years. But, 2 of those years have been in secret. I'm 25 years old, but my mom runs my life in unhealthy ways. She hates him, and put so much pressure on me to break up with him, that eventually I just told her that I did. In order to salvage the relationship, I kept it a secret. For a long time, I wondered if the relationship was even worth saving. He was so incredibly mean. He also had a severe temper which caused him to get violent. Nothing very serious happened, but he did dislocate my finger in a fit a rage when he had a fight with his brother.
But, lately, he had showed a complete change. He's been so sweet, so gentle, so loving. It was as if they switched him to a better version of him. But recently, two incidents occurred which I did not like one bit. We were intimate and he became very violent. It wasn't out of anger. It was more sexual in nature. But, that only makes me more afraid because if that was in a sexual context, imagine if he was actually angry. I could have been seriously hurt. If he's unable to control himself when he's not angry, how can he control himself when he is?
But, I'm utterly afraid to leave this relationship for so many reasons. I'm afraid that I will fall into a deep depression. I do love him. It's just that I have the ability to see the bigger picture, and it's not pretty. I can't exactly ever marry him without my mo knowing lol. How long can this lie go on? Either I have to come clean to my mom if I decide to stay or I end things. Both are bad. I just can't decide which one is worse.
One major issue is that I've disappeared from a variety of family functions. His nephew is getting baptized into the catholic church this weekend. It poses an issue for me to go because I'm Jewish and it's an internal conflict to be attending a something that another religion considers sacred. I have plenty of catholic family members, so I'm not a hater, nor do I hate them. The thing is that I take these things seriously. I find it disrespectful to members of the faith if I don't take their meaningful things seriously. So, I'm not going to walk in there and pretend like it doesn't mean anything. It means something to them. Just like, in my faith, it it means something to me. He knows the conflict that attending the baptism poses for me, however, he is putting pressure on me to go. But, my conscience is really bothering me about the baptism.
He is not particularly religious. His family is catholic, however. This poses a bit of a problem for the following reason. I don't have a very close knit family. In fact, my family has fallen apart after a death in the family and people's decisions not to speak to one another after a terrible divorce. It's not a good situation. I have ONE family member who is a practicing Jew. Although I accept and respect other faith's, it's important to me to raise my children in one spiritual home. If they change their minds when they are older, that's their decision and I will respect it... just like my family has respected my religious choices. However, I don't want them to fall into a situation like a lot of my friends did. I went to a catholic school, that surprisingly, had a significant amount of jewish students. Most of them came from interfaith families. They did everything twice. Bar-mitzvah and confirmation. The circumcision on the eighth day, and then the baptism. Catholic school by day and hebrew school by night. This posed an identity crisis for most people, as they wanted to make both parties happy that were putting them through both of these educational statues. So, I have made a conscious decision not to put my kids through that. Like I said, once they get older, that's their decision. I, myself, have been on a spiritual journey and explored other religions. But, I would like to minimize that stress by raising them in one spiritual home.
I have very little support from my own family because we are not close. That would leave my children to find the close-knit relationship from their father's side of the family. It is important to me to marry someone that has a strong family nucleus that will provide a comfortable atmosphere to the spiritual home that the children are to be raised in. Since I don't have very many Jewish family members who actually practice their religion, I fear that my kids would be the outcasts, lol. So, it's important for me to marry someone who is a Jew so that the kids can have that bond with somebody in the family outside of just me.
Please help me out here. In summary, I have two questions:
1) I need to dodge the event without hurting or insulting anyone. This isn't about insulting anyone. I don't celebrate Christmas or eat pork on Christmas Eve, like a lot of people in my family do. But, no one is insulted. It's not about insulting people. It's just that customs are different and I feel that both of those customs should be respected.
2) I need to make a decision and I need to stand by that decision... but I have no backbone or strength to do so.

Please help!

Forst of all, the easier one is really the supporting of someones beliefs even though you may not feel the same. I used to follow strictly just Christian faith but have grown to believe in things they do not condone and consider evil. So if I come across someone who doesnt believe as I do, I remember a time when I didn't either. Think of it as all of us on earth as souls to learn and grow spiritually. Kids learn in school but there are many schools that are different, private schools like Montessori or Religious ones. Then there is the grade levels to consider. So in faith, our different schools are the different religions, and where we are at in our beliefs according to our particular faith or sschool is the grade levels. You can hardly expect a 2nd grader to be at the same level academically as a HS senior of even an 8th grader. So I find it easy to talk to those who are Christian and support their views, talking the talk they are used to hearing. You don't have to understand the talk or habits of another faith but if having it explained, is it a courtesy to those of another faith to cover ones head or have women sit separate, or be okay with being sprinkled with holy water or even having a Christian pray over you. God knows what you believe in your heart, and supporting someone where they are at is a good thing...like a parent not expecting you to be able to tie your own shoes until you got older and wiser. God is the same with us and doesnt rush us to grow spiritually and leaves it to us to move at a pace we are comfortable with if we are even moving at all. It will not compromise your beliefs or where you stand with God to go only with any rituals like that. except for your dietary restrictions, that you must keep and others should respect that in you.

Next:
Your Mother may have been controlling of you and may or may not have seen the bad potential in your boyfriend but in your story, Mom is not the issue, neither is the boyfriend, it all centers around you. What you have here is an opportunity for a heck of a giant leap in personal growth. I know cus I once faced the same.

My ex husband was controlling, had an anger problem, had insecurities that fed into a mental illness that was beginning to show up in his early 20s but no one, not even I could recognize what the problem was at the time. He fooled even all my family at first until he began to yell at them and tell them to mind their own business after I married him. He was great until a few months after marriage. I was counseled to leave him but didnt because my church did not condone divorce. Trust God to heal your marriage was what I was told. So God worked with me to grow my relationship with Him and trust in Him so I trusted my ability to hear directly from God over the interpretations or misguided beliefs and doctrines of my faith. God told me that the verse about Loving the Lord your God with all your Heart and mind and strenght and your neighbor as yourself, had been misunderstood. We have no trouble loving god first, and we assume that due to where the word 'neighbor' falls in the verse and we must love our neighbor first and ourselves last. And that is where he told me I was over the mark and must love myself truely before I can really love others. I said, but I love myself. And God agreed, yes in many areas but one and this one is so crucial that it canceled out all the positives of the other ways you love yourself.
He told me that in allowing myself to be subjected to the treatment I got from my husband that it was a choice I was making that was not good for me. He told me that the churchs counsel to trust Him to heal my marriage was also faulty in that He gave each of us a free will. He didn't give a free will only to take it away from those who didn't make good decisions. So He truly could not force my husband to magically change and treat me good. The husband must learn to want to grown closer to god and be more like him and able to admit he has troubles and ask for help. Only then would things improve. But at this point I was finally hearing this from God, I had been married 29 years. That many years of verbal abuse plus some pushing and shoving around had been stressful on my body and stress has to go somewhere especially if you are subjected to it 24/7. So it went into my body, to my health. Anything that stress caused, I got, headaches, migraines, itchy body rashes, stomach ulcers, high blood pressure, etc. The only biggies left were cancer and heart attack which God also said I would die of one or the other if I chose to remain with him. I wasn't because I was a bad person, but the ex needed to grow as an individual in ways where if I remained, I'd continue to be his crutch and 'punching bag' or in his mind 'excuse' for his behavior. He would not grown even a little unless I left. So it had to be by my choice to leave or if I didn't, fate would make sure I died so he ended up in the same spot, single, either due to divorce or being widowed. I wanted to live, so I left. Then, just to be sure I really learned the lesson to love myself enough to not allow myself to be with a guy who treated me that way, I became roommates with a man who ended up as bad as my ex and when I refused to bend to his will, he left me with the apt and I lost it. I knew that would happen if I held my ground but I would not go back to life as before only to have a roof over my head. Usually, financial concerns are the biggest reason a female stays with an abusive man. Her emotions and feeling love comes a close second.
In that many years, the love I had for him, had been killed, slowly dying as he gave nothing to nuture that love. Love is like a tender seedling needing love. So if you stay, no matter how it hurts your heart to leave, you risk what the stress will do to your health over time, and you may die from stress or at violence from his hands. Also the love you feel now, will eventually wither slowly away as he does nothing to feed it.
Then keep in mind that for every one negative act or word, it takes double, triple or more of positive ones to overcome and cancel out the effects of negative ones. No such thing as one good thing he does that will cancel out a dozen terrible things he's done. It doesnt work that way. So eventually you will succumb to the pressure and your life will crumble and get to a point that may be a point of no return for you.
I lacked backbone for most of my marriage so I understand that. I am also loyal to a fault. So what helped me to leave, even when tempted to stay, was to ask myself if I could handle this treatments just one more week...of course...how about one more month....yes, I can, another year, well, I might not like it but I can do it. Then I asked, can I handle it for 10 more years, or till the day I die? Thats when I panicked inside at facing that scenerio and began to sob heavily and realized that I had only been fooling myself cus its easier to put up with bad treatment on a day to day basis, but when you look at the big picture, something deep inside you should be saying, "Oh please, no...don't put me thru that kind of torture for life."

Honey, I know you don't see it now, I didn't, but what I felt was Love for that man, pales in comparison, and actually doesnt even fall into the same catagory as love when I look at my new husband of 6+ years. I know now what a real love is and that what the ex had for me was not love. He was incapable of even loving himself. To this day, he doesnt even treat his kids like he loves them so they rarely go visit him if at all. Just avoiding him. While you may love the guy, it takes equal energy from both to go into a relationship, not just the giving and work all on one part as I was doing. Yes, it made the marriage look successful even to the point some young married couples at church said, oh we want our marriage to be just like yours, just as successful and my quick and puzzling reply for them was, "No, you really don't want this marriage for yourself."

ive been trying to change for a while now, but i just cant do it.

my anxiety keeps ruining my life. i keep breaking stuff and i just wanna die!!!!!!

ive tried so many different pills for my anxiety but they dont work!!!!! nothing works!!!!

isnt it best that i just die??????? cause its too painful to handle anymore!!!!

like why do i deserve to just live and suffer like this??? im a good person not a bad person. i give to people whenever i can. why do i deserve this life?!?!?!

I am no doctor hun, but I used to have social anxeity only, but severely. At the time, I was given something to try that helped me. I have recently seen the same thing written in a book I recently borrowed from my library for the sake of knowing wether there may be something worth trying that may help others who write in here. Since relief with this method is pretty quick, and non medicine, its something you can attempt to do yourself. However, it often requires the insight and help of a Dr. trained in this healing method.

No it isn't best to give up and die. One must always keep trying for an answer, a cure, for relief, etc... Too often, those that have given up were just moments away from discovering something that helped.

I can't promise it will help but whats in this book, although I got it from a different source when I was 18, it worked and that's why I want to share the info on this book with you.

It is called "When Anxiety Attacks" written by Dr. David D. Burns and he has a website too. So if reading the book gives you hope but you find it too complicated to decipher exactly what caused your anxieties and what method is the best for you, then you will need to find a Dr. who is trained in CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy and perhaps at this website you might be able to ask for referrals to such Dr.s in your area.
Heres the website: http://feelinggood.com/

I scrolled down far enough to read comments from those helped by these methods, some people who were now senior citizens and had been plagued with this issue for life and yet once using this technique, were cured. Please, even if you feel there is no hope left, at least read the book and see what you think of it. If your library doesnt have it, you can order it from a local bookstore and not have to pay the shipping, just pick it up when it arrives. If you get depressed enough to end your life before checking out this possible cure for you, call 911 and get immediate help to not do so.
I can say that this isn't something that is affectied by being good or bad or any other status, like age, race, etc... it just happens.

Pharmaceutical companies make money off people who require monthly medcines and in truth, some really do and its the only medicine that works for some, but all bodies are not made the same and so some foods are allergic to one and not to another, even naturopathic methods, some work well for one but others need different products. Since it all boils down to money, the help for anxiety or depression that is recommended first is the one that will bring in monthly profit. Seeing someone who has a non prescription way of curing someone is not widely advertised then, but it is still a viable and acceptable practice among the medical community. The only money spent is on the few sessions with a Dr. until CBT or other such methods cure a person at which point there will no longer be any repeat business.
Its the same in anything made, clothing, cars, lightbulbs....If a product was made well to last a lifetime or a long time, then there would be no money from repeat business, so quality has been forfeited for the consumer so others could continue to profit. I remember reading about a firestation for example in a rural town that has a light bulb in it that has never been changed and still works and is well over a hundred years old. Thats proof that things used to be made to last and work well. I still often turn to antique stores for finding my kitchen gadgets for that reason. I hope I have given you something to think about and hope as well.

It's when you write someone's name down on a piece of paper, stick it in water and put it in the freezer. Does it work to keep people bothering you away?

Spells are composed of two things:
1. The things one does that help focus a persons intent, such as the simple ritual you wrote of
2. The power of the mind and its ability to use thought to bring about the results wished for (as long as it does no harm to others)

So in actuality, the power that makes a "spell" or intention/wish work is not in the ritual itself but in the persons ability to really picture in their mind what they wish to see happen. For those who have trouble focusing their thoughts, the little things like using a piece of paper in water turned to ice, or using anything, candles, threads, etc... only help.

I use only thought to accomplish what I wish. I don't need to do so often but heres an example of my last experience where it worked on the spot. My daughter wanted to attend a large folk life festival outdoors with the amount of people you'd see milling about in a really crowded fairgrounds. sHE asked me to go with her and her boyfriend. For about 2 hours, I endured people rudely bumping into me as they passed, even though there was plenty clear space to move around me without ever touching me. A couple times it was so unexpected I lost my balance and almost fell. I got pretty upset by that and thought of a quick trick to try. Have you ever gone swimming with an innertube around your middle? If you can fix that picture in your mind, thats what I pictured having around my middle, a large one. Like a bumper for protection but I knew people would still walk into me so it had to feel scary to them. What matters is that they wont see it but their subconscious mind will pick up on what I am projecting with my mind and thats enough to make someone avoid me. So I imagined sharp spikes all around the tube. Although I said to myself that it would only look sharp and real but it was actually made of cardboard type material so no harm could be done. I took moments periodically like every 20 mins to picture that in my mind all over again. From the moment I pictured it the first time, not a single person bumped into me for the rest of the day, another 4 hours we were there. I don't routinely do this sort of thing but I do understand the principles of how it works and do lean toward pagan beliefs.
I do not know if this bothering is people walking up to you, texting you all the time, interest in befriending you when you dont' like them, but I am sure you can come up with something that works to stop the bothering. If you need help coming up with ideas of things to try, llet me know in more detail exactly whats going on. What is important is your ability to visualize things in your mind, brief images is fine, even just the grayish foggy outlines of images, as long as you know what it is.

I don't think what I do can really be called synesthesia, but when I hear music , I can describe it with smell. I can't physically smell anything, but it's like a remembered smell, where I don't feel it in my nose but in my brain, and still "smell" it, if that makes any sense. For example, someone was trying to work out some music they were writing for piano today, in a minor key, and it made me think of a warm, heavy, spicy men's musk cologne, and it felt and looked like the depressed feeling of a wet,dark, foggy fall day, but with crisp dry leaves, not wet ones. Could anyone, maybe someone into psychology, explain this to me? I'm just curious about it because no one can really relate to me and I don't think it's synesthesia. Thanks :)

No, its not synesthesia from what I've read. My husband says it's not common but again, its not totally unheard of either. Some peoples brains associate feelings with objects, or non tangible like music or even with brain that have the sense of scent that is predominant.
I dont know of a name dear but my husbands daughter lived with us as a teen until she went to college. The first day she met me, she walked up to about a yard away and took several deep sniffs of me and announced that I passed the scent test. If I hadn't, she may have told her Dad not to date me or marry me. What you do with music, she does a different, not quite the same thing with a persons natural body scent. It gives her a feeling like a good match for a friend or family. She can tell the personality of a person from their scent and other stuff. She also doesnt hug like regular people, she rubs her head on your shoulder like a cat rubs legs, taking on your scent and leaving hers. I know, its quite different but have fun with it. You have a foot ahead of poets and lyric writers bein able to descibe things with words that no one else can.

I don't know how to make new friends. One of my friends are sitting with other groups but I don't know how, everyone seems so cool and I don't know if they want to be friends with me... I can't really make new friends in class cos I have other friends in that class and they are kinda attached idk what to do all these people are going to parties and I don't have many friends.

How did you make friends in the past? It should be the same...one person or the other approaching and starting conversation and discovering you like that person enough to want to spend time together hanging out.
Self confidence could help here along with not taking things so personally if someone where to turn you down.
I think the issue isn't how to make new friends, but your worry about current friends being upset for some reason if you befriend someone new.

Depends on the age here, if in you're 20s or older, people don't tend to assume that friendship is exclusive. If younger most people believe if you're friends with me you cant be friends with anyone else in the world, forcing yo to believe you have to choose only one or a couple or lose them all if you make a new friend.That whole scenerio is more of the middle school and HS age when we all suffer lower self esteem and the most important thing to us is to be liked by all. This fear is something we all usually outgrow as we get older.
If you want people to go to parties with, then where are all these friends you are so afraid of hurting their feelings for trying to make a new friend. Why aren't they asking you to go with them? I dont know what to you equates many friends, but of those I could count true friends in highschool, there were two groups and one single gal for me. One group was five who were all Christians like me and we'd gather for a bible study before school started. None of them were friends with the group I sat with for lunch, 3 girls, 2 whom I met on weekends to do stuff with and non christians. And then there was a gal with Aspergers syndrome which I didn't know existed at the time but it explained why she didn't have many friends, and I did like her, just when her 'talking at me, repeating stories umpteen times got to me, I took a break of a day or two and spend it with the others. No one was jealous of me having friends in other groups. The friends I had in one group weren't interested in spending time with those of other groups. So if that is your scenerio, I still don't see the problem unless kids today are a lot more immature than when I went to HS. I don't know how much of your fear of things not working out, all are made up in your head, just distorted thoughts that will never come true. So if there is a real issue, where you have done this before and it was a problem, then perhaps you'd like to share what those issues were and maybe some of us could have real advice for you. Otherwise, I'd say to stop worrying and make new friends, ones that don't require 100% of your time, leaving you times to get together with old friends as well.

i love him a lot he proposed me 6 mo nths ago i accept and after three months he is completly changed his love for me , care everything changed but mine are still same he don't even talk to me properly i cant take it anymore i want to die i did everything for him bt he dont value i quiet.....................

Not sure if you are saying that he broke off the engagement saying he doesn't love you anymore or if he's said nothing about marriage and seems still willing to marry but is treating you poorly, either way, it is not a good idea to continue to hang out with him, try to force him to have you in his life and marry you, at least, not until you discover what has truly changed for him.

What I dont know is how long you both knew each other before he proposed. Its not the amount of months or years but the amount of time within those months and years that you both got to know each other really well, including all your spots and wrinkles as I say, or your shortcomings. If this was a quick meet and then decide to marry, perhaps he had second thoughts or met someone else in mean while he likes better. You won't know unless you can get him to really talk and share whats up. Then depending on the issues, is it something that going to a counselor could help? If so, do it. If he's not willing or you neither, then its not a good idea to try to have a relationship with someone who can't be open and trusting and bare their heart and share with you in conversation. A big important part of healthy relationships is when both are willing to do real in depth talking, not about the weather or news but about yourselves, your hopes and dreams, and also your fears, and anything that feels like it might be a problem for you. So even if you are willing, he needs to be too. I was once in a marriage where I did all the work and he did not put any effort into the marriage. There is no way to force a person to change. I gave 30 yrs to that man and he never changed, so its not time that will make the difference, and its not the wonderful girl. So don't think that over time, your love can make him change if the issues are all with him. Then again, he may be immature and is playing this game of disinterest to get you to make the first move and leave him, sparing him from having to break up with you for whatever his reason.
Never think that you are so horrible or have done and repeat things that are so terrible. We all make mistakes. But it takes the heart of a person totally in love with you, as I have now with second husband, to look past the things we don't do right and the mistakes we make and realize that all humans are prone to error and see it instead as an opportunity to practice unconditional love and forgiveness. But as I said, it takes two people putting in the effort, something you cant Make him do. Like that saying, you can lead a horse to water, (like showing him possible cures like seeing a counselor) but you cant make the horse drink (and that part means the horse..or the man in this case, must be willing to drink) He needs to be ready to acknowledge he has a problem and bein willing to fix it. Instead of feeling like dyinng just because one man who was my husband, didnt value me, I learned how to strengthen my self image and gain self confidence and learn to become a stronger person, and once there, then I looked for a new partner. Hoping it doesnt get to that point for you dear. Try to get him to let you know what has happened in his life that would cause him to treat you differently. Maybe grieving over the death in the family, facing losing his job, or other big emotional things. And No, I do not agree that these are good reasons for a person to s top loving their mate, instead, it should be a time to draw closer together and lean on each other at times each person faces something big and scary in life. But not every one is that mature. However if its something like this, counseling should help as issues like this can be helped. Good luck!

How can I date my bestfriend and be respect to her?

First you have to find out what kind of feelings she has for you, strictly friendship feelings or if over time, or from the start, she's always had more of the romantic feelings.

As for respect, one should be respectful to all people, regardless if wanting to date them or not. If you want to know a good way to find out where she stands, the best way to start such a conversation is not to say you have developed feelings for her if thats the case, you just say that you are beginning to have stronger feelings for her. That way, she won't feel so awkward to let you know she doesnt feel anything but friendship with you.
Its sad but true that some best friends, have one who is secretly in love and stuck in the friend zone cus the other never will have those feelings and tho as stated in forced marriages, people come to learn to love each other, its still not the ultimate "in love with" along with passion and such and when that is missing from a marriage, often, one or both can easily find themselves distracted and pulled easily away by someone with whom they do have better chemistry right from the start.

As for the recipe for the most successful life long , long term relationships or marriage, it comes down to two basic foundations in the relationship, one is being the best of friends with each other and the second is being sexually compatible. What I mean by the last is having that chemistry and attraction and passion for each other, having similar likes and dislikes sexually, having the same libido and this is how much or little sex will satisfy each person. I had the high libido and husband had a low one in the first marriage and we didnt have that attraction and passion for each other, hoping it would develop but it never did and I stayed with him through raising our kids. His dissatisfaction with the situation in part led to him being abusive of me as well instead of looking for other women as others might have done.

You get along well as best friends so half the recipe is there. You just need to find out if she feels anything for you. If you want to, you could even ask, "Since we're such good friends, I've been wanting to ask something and there is no right or wrong answer, just be honest and let me know what you think. I was wondering how we would do together if we were dating. I know friendship is important in good couple relationships and we have that. What do you think? Is that something we should give a try cus I would certainly be open to it, to see where it goes.

If she asks why you are wondering, you can then say you are beginning to have deeper feelings than friendship for her. Hope this helps.

so someone told me something is about to happen. how soon is about to happen????

There is no exact minutes, hours or days I can give you since the phrase "about to happen" is just a heads up that the next step in a natural progression is going to occur soon.

Example: Mom is cooking lasagna for dinner. She makes it herself from scratch, not a frozen meal from the grocery. So there are naturally many steps until it is done. When it gets close to the last couple of steps she takes, she can forewarn the kids to be ready for dinner as dinner is 'about to be ready to eat'.

If what you refer to is something more along the lines of psychic predictions, not all things can be for sure an event about to happen. If something is already in progress, such as already pregnant and a psychic says your baby is going to be a boy, thats something that has already been decided, even if you haven't had a test at Dr. yet to know from there.
Predictions about something good about to happen in your life, a change for the better about to happen may or may not. I am only sharing what I have learned by gathering info on the net. So sad to say, even if told something is going to happen, it can all depend on the free will of any and all people involved. Let me give a good example. I have a friend who is psychic. One day at a 4th of July gathering she told me that I am about to meet the guy who'd become my next husband. Well that didn't happen for another year and a week, the 11th of July the following year. I thought about to happen meant soon like in the next couple months. So I suppose it really means how soon a person feels 'soon' should mean. I did meet him. Thats the day he finally wrote to me and we chatted by phone during weekdays until following weekend when we met in person. I could have met him much earlier. I had a dating site where he found me but he knew of me a couple years earlier and never wrote to me. He just didnt think I was who I said I was..meaning I sounded too good to be true. So his will interfered with my "about to happen" but eventually he did write. And what is meant to happen will eventually come to be, no matter what. No one, not even psychics, can predict what any one persons choice will be ahead of time because people can change their minds several times before finally taking a certain path or choice.

My gfs period was 5 days due when i fingered her which probably had dry Precum she took ipill...nut she hasnt got her periods yet? Is she preg or its just that ipill is causing this? Please give us advice regarding this

Sperm need to be in the liquid of cum to be alive when being transfered from one body to the other.
think of it like fish outside of the fish tank. If one jumped out somehow, it wouldnt last long cus its not made to live outside of the fluid of water just like sperm doesnt live anymore once the cum is dry.
The emergency contraception pill is a very strong birth control. It does in one dose what it takes a week or two of taking the daily pill to build up a presense in a gals body so she cant become pregnant.

So if she is not regularly taking the pill or other contraceptive, she might want to do that asap cus its easier on the body.
The day after pill has hormones just like other contraceptives. Many women have reactions to the regular pills that mimic pregnancy signs, because in fact, thats what the pill is doing, tricking the body into thinking its already pregnant so it won't release an egg. No eggs are released when a female is pregnant. So the strength of the emergency pill can easily not only have side effects that mimic pregnancy but really mess up a girls period cycle. So if you both are going to have regular sex, she needs to go to her Dr. a womens clinic or Planned Parenthood and get on birth control. There are also non hormonal types of birth control, or ones where its less fuss to take like the once every few months shot, or the IUD, intra uterine device. Drs tend to just start with the pill but so many have issues with hormones. She won't know until she tries and then can always switch to something different. Relying on condoms and the day after pill is going to be very hard on her body, like an overdose of pregnancy hormones that hit all at once.

Should I text boy or wait for boy to text my gay pretty boy ass?
Im 17

When contacting others, by texting, writing, calling or even in person, its cool and no problem to contact if its just to make a friend.

However, if its for romantic interest, be forewarned that just as in girl/boy relationships, just because one feels an attraction, that doesn't guarantee the other will feel the same.
then, its also harder for gays because the person they are interested in may not be gay or bisexual.

So first, if you've heard from his own lips talk that he is gay, then go for it. If not and you still want to see if anything might develop later, at least try to befriend him for now and see how the friendship goes and later in the friendship you could let him know that you are interested in him that way.
I come from a generation that didn't have texting growing up. From all the problems i hear from young people, texting is one of the worst ways possible to have any contact or conversation with someone. 75% or more of communication is non verbal or written words. Tone of voice, facial expressions and body language convey more than you would think. So if this guy is gay and you want to see if he feels the same about you, look up you tube videos on body language to know what people subconsciously do with their bodies, lots on positioning themselves too, when romantically or sexually interested in the other person... and then have a chat in person, cus no matter what he might answer, his body language will tell the truth.

Yesterday instead of going to my friend's induction to honor society at college, I stayed at the library studying for an anatomy and physiology test that I have. She knows that I have to get a good grade in this class, and that I am not a good test taker.n I can understand why she would be upset, but she is ignoring me and pissed at me. What am I supposed to do? I apologized for missing her induction, but she didn't say anything to me.

She might know you have to get a good grade in class, but her mind was on her special day and as her friend, she was expecting in her mind for you to be there.
If you had been ill with the flu, she would have understood. So its not that you had to miss it, my guess is that its because you didn't tell her ahead of time that you needed to study, you just didn't show up. At least that is what i assume since you made no mention of breaking this bad news to her. As friends, she was expecting more consideration, not rudeness with not telling but like you said, you had good reason not to go. Just give her space, and eventually she should calm down and then you can talk. About all you can do is apologize for not telling her of your plan ahead of time that day.

Hi I'm 16 this is my first baby and I'm not having an ultrasound until a few weeks. I'm really curious about my baby's position. I would like to do a vaginal birth but it all depends on baby. When I stand up I have a rather round belly but it's extremely low. I feel like it has been low my whole pregnancy. When I lay down and take a side picture it seems the top of my belly by my ribs is flat and the bottom part is round. When I get to hear the heart beat it gets found a bit lower or about the same as my belly button on the left side. I feel movements on both sides of my belly when I'm laying down from that side. I tend to be sitting up and feel a movement on my right side by my ribs right under my bra. I've also felt it right on my pubic area. Is the baby anterior or posterior?

Hon, this is a question for you to ask of your OBGYN in your next appt. You can't go just by the looks of your stomach. I looked the same with my 2nd as I had with my first but towards the end, my midwife told me that the baby had recently switched from head down to breech, feet first. She gave me something to do at home that would encourage baby to move again on its own and it worked. So no matter if breech, anterior or posterior, this is something to discuss with your Dr. and if its a concern for him/her, they will let you known what can be done.

Hi I'm 16 few months away from turning 17. I found out I was pregnant in August. I hid my pregnancy all the way up to my 6-7 month from my parents. They're extremely strict and HATE my boyfriend with a passion. Once they found out, they were angry but slowly got over it and have been extremely supportive. There's just one issue.. I'm due in April and I'm beyond scared for labor! My belly is pretty low and I hear that's a good thing because it means the baby won't have to push itself too much. I also have high blood pressure and currently have an infection in my urine.. my sister had the exact same thing and because of her infection had to get a c-section. I'm honestly scared for normal birth or c section. Either way I will have to go through extreme pain and I'm so scared for that! Is there any advice any moms can give me?

I never had a c section but you wont feel it during the operation, its only the pain of healing after. Even without a c section, there is the fact that many women have their perineum rip a little bit as baby comes out. This is the last ring of skin the babys body needs to get past. I had 3 kids and ripped for two so what that means is its really sore to sit on anything, no matter how soft. Fortunately this is a creation called the donut, a cushion that supports you when sitting but the hole in the middle means nothing is pressing against that part of your body so tender yet from delivery. So if you have a normal birth, you'll want to get one.

During the birth, yes there is pain, pain due to your bones moving and widening the opening so the baby can pass thru. If you are okayed for normal delivery...then you need to know something about the pain management. There is a shot given, called the spinal block, which I never had but my girlfriends had and they told me it was a waste because the Doctors don't give it to you until you reach 10 centimeters and are ready to push....heck that was the easy part. It was all the hours of laboring before the pushing that you need to be prepared for. There are childbirth classes you can take to learn about natural childbirth and nows the time to take it with whomever will be at your side as your coach, likely Mom I suppose.
You want to learn to focus when each new wave of pain comes, find a spot to focus on and breath through the pain, concentrating on the breathing technique you will learn in class. Its good to practice it ahead of time so you dont end up going too far overboard and hyperventilating.
You may want to learn this, even if having the spinal block which is useless as its not given earlier when its really needed for pain management. If you stop your breathing trick to try to cry, or scream or talk, the pain is worse...trust me, I tried to say something to a nurse while in middle of a labor pain and that was a mistake, it hurt even worse.
The pushing part can be exhausting and it took me until my 3rd child to figure out how to push properly. No body tells you this stuff and I heard from a Mom who was honest with me. Its not like what you see in the movies. Babies don't do the pushing, the mom does. I thought I was supposed to be pushing with my stomach muscles. No wonder it took so long to push the 1st two times. Once I heard that pushing a baby out is the same as the pushing during a bowel movement that is hard to get out, then it was smooth sailing. I asked the nurse if I was at 1o cm and when she said I was, I asked if it would be okay if I started pushing now instead of waiting for the next labor pain and she said yes. So I pretended like I was straining to poop and didnt care if something like that came out which it didn't, but it was those muscles that had baby out in 3 pushes rather than going on for a half hour or more.
If you do not plan to nurse the baby, then if you feel the need for some pain meds after, you can probably get them if you have a c section.

Does your doc know you have a urinary tract infection, UTI, cus the baby will be a concern cus what you take is passed on to baby but you can't go for a couple months with no treatment, as you could get so bad you get fever and are delirious. It happened to one of my daughters, going that far. There has to be an antibiotic that won't be harsh on the baby. I would also say to drink more fluids than usual, lots of water but include cranberry juice in what you drink as its also known to contribute to the healing of UTIs although if really bad, it may not go totally away, just heal faster with meds.
High blood pressure due to just pregnancy is usually not treated in the mom as it will go away once you give birth but they will want to have you give birth in the hospital where all emergency equipment is in easy reach to make sure you and baby are okay. My oldest daughter ended up with high blood pressure. She did not require a c section because of that. C sections are too over used these days. The only caution was that she could not have the home birth she wanted and it was a must that she give birth at the hospital.
If you get to your due date or past it and haven't had the baby yet, to be sure it doesn't come at a time when you can't for some reason make it to hospital, I can see the Dr. recommending picking a day to have the baby, picking the bag to break it, using a special catheter to apply pressure to your cervix to start labor or putting you on an intravenous of petocin, something that will start labor for you. I've had the petocin and bag broken by Dr. and daughter had the special catheter and that worked too well, labor came on a bit too fast. I'd recommend the petocin if need be as they can slowly increase the amount given to you so its not so intense an ordeal for you.
If at all your Dr. feels theres a good chance you can avoid the c section even with high blood pressure, then you may want to find and hire a doula. This is much like a midwife. My daughter hired one. The moment you're starting labor, you can call her and she'll be by your side the whole time for the whole experience coaching you and helping you with all the tricks she knows to ease the laboring process. She was a life saver for my daughter. I have used a midwife and they tend to not show up to help you go thru the labor process when you most need the help, but show up when you are closer to delivery. So you would do well to get a doula, explain your situation that you might require a c section at last minute but in case you don't, you want her there with you as well as your mom. Even tho I gave birth several times, I didn't do this for a living, I wasn't able to help my daughter the way the doula could. I'd look for one on the internet and ask for recommendations from past customers too.

As for the high blood pressure, if you worry about it and focus only on that, then most likely you will make things worse for yourself. Worry causes stress to the body and that would stress the heart and blood pressure. Try meditation right away, doing it daily...take a class on it or learn of other relaxation techniques. theres a lot of stuff on the internet. Even listening to certain kinds of instrumental music can be very calming. Do these things now to help your high BP from not going any higher.

i really want to go to this boarding school in cali, because i hate florida and hate the school i'm at now. i'm in 10th grade and i've been there since pre-k, and i have so many life long friends so i really don't know what to do

You'd need to talk to the parents about this,because a boarding school like a private school is not part of public education so your parents would need to fork out whatever the money cost is for you to attend. What might be better is waiting it out until you are ready to attend college and choosing a place in California.

If you really think about it, your situation is not where you attend school but where your parents live and where they are employed. Its tough moving anywhere, let alone across country and finding new jobs and a new place to live all because one child doesnt like living in Florida.
My husband grew up there as a kid and when he turned 18, he took road trips traveling across the country to see if he liked any other places better. Growing up in Florida, he also still says he came to hate it too and loves it out on the west coast. He still wanted to be near water but where the weather was vastly different.
Enjoy your friends and your HS graduation, things that you may later regret having missed. The fact of life is that once you all leave HS, things change drastically with some staying at their home grounds and others traveling across country or even other countries for school and your friends will date and marry and get established into their own lives and have kids and not live anywhere near you and though you might call and write, its next to impossible to visit often and definitely you wont be seeing them regularly as you used to. My vote is for waiting until college to move to Cal. when you are close to or at the age of 18 as a legal adult now able to make all your own decisions like finding work and a place to live there after graduating and meet a nice Calif. guy to settle down with there.

hey guys, i am a 19 year old girl now am in a university at my home town studying health, anyways back in 9'th grade there was a boy who loved me lets call him kal and he has a behaviour that he don't like to stress people, so back then his friend told me that kal loves me so much and he told me to say yes to him....then i said no, and in grade 10 kal him self asked me, zen i said no....he waited for me for 4 years but in grade 10 i had feelings for him since then but in our country some one who has a boyfriend at that age is seen as an arrogant person so i said no even though i loved him....so finally again in grade 12 he asked me to be his girlfriend so then i said ok beacuse i couldn't handle his love i gop behind my parents notice, so now we have passed 8 monthes as a couple but now i start to question what am doing, i know he is too kind, too generous, too loyal....i trust him with all my heart that he won't betray me, i am his first and he is mine too, but i fear if he will be tired of me in the future beacuse he told me that he will be loyal forever and now am feeling like am doing something wrong i know i love him but sometimes when i see my friends date many kinds i envy running around n seeing other guys like them, and we kissed with tongue also too much kissing and i felt like am being easy on him, and i find some of his behaviours annoying like he is not so romantic not hansome, not my ideal type but i thought i loved him....i remember back then crying beacuse i constantly think about him, but now when i get him i feel like am trapped in one r/ship forever and he told me he loves me everytime, and that he is lucky to have me coz am beautiful as he said but am treating him not so good, like i tell him i love him too but sometimes its hard for me to say, and after i meet him i always get mad at him 4 no reason and i mistreat him, but after a little time i miss him....i feel like am hurting him and lying to him....please tell me what shall i do? shall i breakup with him or stay with him?

The answer is obvious dear....you said you are unhappy so stop forcing yourself to do something that makes you feel that way and that would mean to stop seeing him as his girlfriend.

Young love, puppy love, is different than a mature love. The young love comes on without having any prior experience in dating and meeting many people to discover what it is you really like about the opposite sex and also what you don't like and what you will not tolerate.
It is hard to discover all of that in your first relationship. I will say that it is easy to feel so strongly about feeling this new feeling we never had before hitting puberty and the changes that brings to how we feel about and noticing the opposite sex. And yes, every once in a while, one odd person may feel this strong attraction at an earlier age than most. Maybe in grade school and without any previous experience with other dating, its hard to know if this is the kind of love that can really last to be married and parents for years and years.

So your womens intuition is going crazy letting you know that something is not right. He may be a great guy. And perhaps someday in the future, you both will still marry but you shouldn't even be girlfriends with someone you don't feel sure about, have that warning feeling inside about, and certainly don't feel sorry for a guy who has feelings for you when you don't have that in return. Much older adults still experience that terrible scenerio as its very common that one feels strongly and the other doesn't feel a thing at all. So hon, what you are feeling is quite normal. We can love many different things and people but that love is more like a preferance, like I love pizza over sandwiches. Or stronger like how you love your family members and that is a different kind of love from the kind needed for ones future husband/mate. And for that kind, you need to 'be in love' with the person and so many marry who dont feel that, like my ex husband.
The only way you can really know if perhaps you're close to that kind of love is when you can make comparisons from 'experience' of dating around with many different kinds of guys. Right now you only know one kind and too much about him doesnt grab your attention like you grab his. And that is a warning sign.
Tell him you love him as a friend but at your young ages, you both have lots of growing and life experience ahead, even in dating so you so need to not be his girlfriend anymore. You need to experience dating other people as you don't feel as strongly as he does. Perhaps in what you learn from experience, you'll come to see that indeed he is perfect for you or you may discover some guy more perfect for you. Good luck.

I'm 17 a female in high school. I've always thought I was straight. I usually tend to masturbate and watch lesbian porn. I never thought much of it until I met a girl who was a lesbian, she was a senior just a grade older than me. She told me all kinds of things and I really started to get curious about being with a girl. It went from being curious to really craving being with a girl. I talked to my friend and told her I've wanted to explore my sexuality and she told me she would gladly help me. We became close friends and socialized a lot! A few days ago I went over and we ended up making out and fingering each other and other stuff. I had slept over so we decided to do those things since we'd be together all night anyway. It was honestly amazing! I have never felt so attracted to someone not even towards a man. The strange part is I went to the rest room a little bit after and I could of sworn her mom was right by her door and heard the whole thing! She didn't tell me anything but she gives me this weird look. Her mom is actually quite beautiful and I've been fantasizing about her. I'm going to sleep over again and I feel so uncomfortable because of the mom.. help!

I don't see what went wrong with your experimenting if you actually liked it and intend to do so again.

Not many people are okay with others hearing or seeing them when they are having sex. The privacy makes us all feel more comfortable.
So You are concerned about not having total privacy and that is understandable. You and she may have to get together when ever she says her mom isn't home or find another place to do so, maybe at your home. When young and still living with parents, its hard to not have total privacy.
Mom may or may not have been hearing something and stopping by to take a listen to see if she heard correctly. Experimenting at this age is perfectly normal and in a year you'll be considered an adult anyways who can do as you please. Parents biggest concern is a daughter getting pregnant by having sex. If its not a male, than you cant get pregnant. THe only other concern would be if highly religious and believing that gay sex is a sin, that there may be an issue. Ask your friend if her mom said anything to her. If not, then its most likely okay with her.
If I heard some strange sounds from across the house, My first thought would be to go listen to see if it sounds like somebody choking on something, having trouble breathing or in some other medical situation that required calling 911. It could very well be that she came to listen to that very reason and once she realized what the sounds were, meant to give you privacy but couldnt move away fast enough to be discovered nearby. I wouldnt worry unless your girlfriend says her mom already told her she has a problem with that.

I'm 17 and he's 25 both from Bangladesh. Guys, this is my 2nd question pls dont get me wrong but i really need some help. So yesterday night i went to a party with him. It was his cousin's engagement party. I hav met wid some of his family members before. Yesterday he introduced me to his other family members as his "fiancee" not his gf. I was blushing the whole time. The party ended really late. He told me to stay wid him 4 d nyt. I was quite anxious bt i agreed. So i stayed with him. He knows i am not ready for sex. We were talking on his bed n i fell asleep on his hand. We both were sitting on his bed. I woke up today morning in his arms. Jst d way i was sitting last night. N he said, "morning, sunshine". Its jst d perfect thing on this whl world.
Bt now i am tensed is it evn possible for some1 to be so perfect? What if this is a drm which will come to an end?

You dont mention how long the two of you have been dating. When people meet, some tend to pretend to be someone they are not just to catch the interest of someone they want, even if they aren't the perfect match.
Or at the very least, people tend to watch their manners and act their very best, thus seeming to be 'perfect'.
The reality is....no one is perfect except whomever you consider to be the higher source, the creator, etc....
Even you and I have things about us that are not perfect.

What makes a person a good choice to be with is someone who although not perfect, is willing to compromise when needed, never intentionally tries to hurt you emotionally or physically, is willing to accept when they have messed up and apologize, who has no problem with admitting they have been wrong nor any problem with listening to and taking correction. Someone like that is a person you can deal with very easily in a relationship as long as you are the same yourself.

My first husband was none of that, doing all of it wrong which hurt the relationship and we're now divorced. My 2nd husband is ALL of those things that make him a good choice.

You may have thought it cute that he likes you enough to announce you as his fiancee, even though he never asked you or gave you a chance to accept. He is assuming that its a given fact that you will eventually marry him. Be careful about that one thing dear. My ex made sweeping decisions like that on my behalf, not giving me a chance to decide if I wanted to go out to a particular movie or restaurant. It was always, you are going with me to .....
What I didn't know at the time is that that is one of the obvious signs of a controller and having a controller for a partner is a very miserable thing...I know...I've been there.
I thought it was cute too until I was married to him and I married at age 20 and still had little life experience to know better.

I don't know this guy of yours. He may truly be a good guy and not a controller. However to introduce you in such a way to others is stepping out of bounds. If you do not have a talk with him now setting the bounds and letting him know that what he did is unexceptable to you, then you send a silent message to his subconscious mind that it was okay with you and he may attempt to controll you in many more ways in the future.
Even my wonderful husband has on few occasions done things that made me feel embarrassed in public...totally unknowingly. So I let him know how the event affected me. Because he loves me and doesnt wish to do anything that will hurt or bother me, he apologized and has never once repeated what he did. Being that you are 17, you may not be ready to take such a forward role in a relationship mostly due to lack of experience and just not knowing. Whenever you do not understand something or have a concern, have a talk with him and ask questions. Do not rush into marriage with him though as many guys will start to treat their girl differently after that as my ex husband did.
You are only 17 and hopefully in your country that means you still have plenty of time to court each other for many years, a long engagement too if need be. The time taken is important to get a chance to see if everything still is good and perfect about him or if over time, he relaxes, and lets down a pretense and fake personality and shows his true self once he thinks he has you hooked.

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