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I want more friends


Question Posted Sunday February 28 2016, 1:00 am

I don't know how to make new friends. One of my friends are sitting with other groups but I don't know how, everyone seems so cool and I don't know if they want to be friends with me... I can't really make new friends in class cos I have other friends in that class and they are kinda attached idk what to do all these people are going to parties and I don't have many friends.

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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?


Dragonflymagic answered Monday February 29 2016, 6:31 pm:
How did you make friends in the past? It should be the same...one person or the other approaching and starting conversation and discovering you like that person enough to want to spend time together hanging out.
Self confidence could help here along with not taking things so personally if someone where to turn you down.
I think the issue isn't how to make new friends, but your worry about current friends being upset for some reason if you befriend someone new.

Depends on the age here, if in you're 20s or older, people don't tend to assume that friendship is exclusive. If younger most people believe if you're friends with me you cant be friends with anyone else in the world, forcing yo to believe you have to choose only one or a couple or lose them all if you make a new friend.That whole scenerio is more of the middle school and HS age when we all suffer lower self esteem and the most important thing to us is to be liked by all. This fear is something we all usually outgrow as we get older.
If you want people to go to parties with, then where are all these friends you are so afraid of hurting their feelings for trying to make a new friend. Why aren't they asking you to go with them? I dont know what to you equates many friends, but of those I could count true friends in highschool, there were two groups and one single gal for me. One group was five who were all Christians like me and we'd gather for a bible study before school started. None of them were friends with the group I sat with for lunch, 3 girls, 2 whom I met on weekends to do stuff with and non christians. And then there was a gal with Aspergers syndrome which I didn't know existed at the time but it explained why she didn't have many friends, and I did like her, just when her 'talking at me, repeating stories umpteen times got to me, I took a break of a day or two and spend it with the others. No one was jealous of me having friends in other groups. The friends I had in one group weren't interested in spending time with those of other groups. So if that is your scenerio, I still don't see the problem unless kids today are a lot more immature than when I went to HS. I don't know how much of your fear of things not working out, all are made up in your head, just distorted thoughts that will never come true. So if there is a real issue, where you have done this before and it was a problem, then perhaps you'd like to share what those issues were and maybe some of us could have real advice for you. Otherwise, I'd say to stop worrying and make new friends, ones that don't require 100% of your time, leaving you times to get together with old friends as well.

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