i love him a lot he proposed me 6 mo nths ago i accept and after three months he is completly changed his love for me , care everything changed but mine are still same he don't even talk to me properly i cant take it anymore i want to die i did everything for him bt he dont value i quiet.....................
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? Dragonflymagic answered Monday February 29 2016, 6:11 pm: Not sure if you are saying that he broke off the engagement saying he doesn't love you anymore or if he's said nothing about marriage and seems still willing to marry but is treating you poorly, either way, it is not a good idea to continue to hang out with him, try to force him to have you in his life and marry you, at least, not until you discover what has truly changed for him.
What I dont know is how long you both knew each other before he proposed. Its not the amount of months or years but the amount of time within those months and years that you both got to know each other really well, including all your spots and wrinkles as I say, or your shortcomings. If this was a quick meet and then decide to marry, perhaps he had second thoughts or met someone else in mean while he likes better. You won't know unless you can get him to really talk and share whats up. Then depending on the issues, is it something that going to a counselor could help? If so, do it. If he's not willing or you neither, then its not a good idea to try to have a relationship with someone who can't be open and trusting and bare their heart and share with you in conversation. A big important part of healthy relationships is when both are willing to do real in depth talking, not about the weather or news but about yourselves, your hopes and dreams, and also your fears, and anything that feels like it might be a problem for you. So even if you are willing, he needs to be too. I was once in a marriage where I did all the work and he did not put any effort into the marriage. There is no way to force a person to change. I gave 30 yrs to that man and he never changed, so its not time that will make the difference, and its not the wonderful girl. So don't think that over time, your love can make him change if the issues are all with him. Then again, he may be immature and is playing this game of disinterest to get you to make the first move and leave him, sparing him from having to break up with you for whatever his reason.
Never think that you are so horrible or have done and repeat things that are so terrible. We all make mistakes. But it takes the heart of a person totally in love with you, as I have now with second husband, to look past the things we don't do right and the mistakes we make and realize that all humans are prone to error and see it instead as an opportunity to practice unconditional love and forgiveness. But as I said, it takes two people putting in the effort, something you cant Make him do. Like that saying, you can lead a horse to water, (like showing him possible cures like seeing a counselor) but you cant make the horse drink (and that part means the horse..or the man in this case, must be willing to drink) He needs to be ready to acknowledge he has a problem and bein willing to fix it. Instead of feeling like dyinng just because one man who was my husband, didnt value me, I learned how to strengthen my self image and gain self confidence and learn to become a stronger person, and once there, then I looked for a new partner. Hoping it doesnt get to that point for you dear. Try to get him to let you know what has happened in his life that would cause him to treat you differently. Maybe grieving over the death in the family, facing losing his job, or other big emotional things. And No, I do not agree that these are good reasons for a person to s top loving their mate, instead, it should be a time to draw closer together and lean on each other at times each person faces something big and scary in life. But not every one is that mature. However if its something like this, counseling should help as issues like this can be helped. Good luck! [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
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