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am confused
hey guys, i am a 19 year old girl now am in a university at my home town studying health, anyways back in 9'th grade there was a boy who loved me lets call him kal and he has a behaviour that he don't like to stress people, so back then his friend told me that kal loves me so much and he told me to say yes to him....then i said no, and in grade 10 kal him self asked me, zen i said no....he waited for me for 4 years but in grade 10 i had feelings for him since then but in our country some one who has a boyfriend at that age is seen as an arrogant person so i said no even though i loved him....so finally again in grade 12 he asked me to be his girlfriend so then i said ok beacuse i couldn't handle his love i gop behind my parents notice, so now we have passed 8 monthes as a couple but now i start to question what am doing, i know he is too kind, too generous, too loyal....i trust him with all my heart that he won't betray me, i am his first and he is mine too, but i fear if he will be tired of me in the future beacuse he told me that he will be loyal forever and now am feeling like am doing something wrong i know i love him but sometimes when i see my friends date many kinds i envy running around n seeing other guys like them, and we kissed with tongue also too much kissing and i felt like am being easy on him, and i find some of his behaviours annoying like he is not so romantic not hansome, not my ideal type but i thought i loved him....i remember back then crying beacuse i constantly think about him, but now when i get him i feel like am trapped in one r/ship forever and he told me he loves me everytime, and that he is lucky to have me coz am beautiful as he said but am treating him not so good, like i tell him i love him too but sometimes its hard for me to say, and after i meet him i always get mad at him 4 no reason and i mistreat him, but after a little time i miss him....i feel like am hurting him and lying to him....please tell me what shall i do? shall i breakup with him or stay with him?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The answer is obvious dear....you said you are unhappy so stop forcing yourself to do something that makes you feel that way and that would mean to stop seeing him as his girlfriend.
Young love, puppy love, is different than a mature love. The young love comes on without having any prior experience in dating and meeting many people to discover what it is you really like about the opposite sex and also what you don't like and what you will not tolerate.
It is hard to discover all of that in your first relationship. I will say that it is easy to feel so strongly about feeling this new feeling we never had before hitting puberty and the changes that brings to how we feel about and noticing the opposite sex. And yes, every once in a while, one odd person may feel this strong attraction at an earlier age than most. Maybe in grade school and without any previous experience with other dating, its hard to know if this is the kind of love that can really last to be married and parents for years and years.
So your womens intuition is going crazy letting you know that something is not right. He may be a great guy. And perhaps someday in the future, you both will still marry but you shouldn't even be girlfriends with someone you don't feel sure about, have that warning feeling inside about, and certainly don't feel sorry for a guy who has feelings for you when you don't have that in return. Much older adults still experience that terrible scenerio as its very common that one feels strongly and the other doesn't feel a thing at all. So hon, what you are feeling is quite normal. We can love many different things and people but that love is more like a preferance, like I love pizza over sandwiches. Or stronger like how you love your family members and that is a different kind of love from the kind needed for ones future husband/mate. And for that kind, you need to 'be in love' with the person and so many marry who dont feel that, like my ex husband.
The only way you can really know if perhaps you're close to that kind of love is when you can make comparisons from 'experience' of dating around with many different kinds of guys. Right now you only know one kind and too much about him doesnt grab your attention like you grab his. And that is a warning sign.
Tell him you love him as a friend but at your young ages, you both have lots of growing and life experience ahead, even in dating so you so need to not be his girlfriend anymore. You need to experience dating other people as you don't feel as strongly as he does. Perhaps in what you learn from experience, you'll come to see that indeed he is perfect for you or you may discover some guy more perfect for you. Good luck.
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