about

Hey kids! My name is Amanda, but call me Manders. I'm a psychology/neuroscience/biology student. Throw me questions and I'll throw you an answer. :)

advice

my friend says shes gonna kill hetself how can i stop her without telling anyone

Well, tell her that you love her, that she's got friends and family that love her, and that you'll always be there for her. Tell her that her loved ones, including you, would be sad and mourn if she killed herself. Tell her that she will get through this, and that you will help her get better and happier. Every cloud has a silver lining.

BUT TELL SOMEONE. Did she tell you not to tell anyone? I can understand that you want to be a good friend and keep secrets, but TELLING AN ADULT WOULD MAKE YOU A BETTER FRIEND. By telling someone, you could be saving her life. Tell your parents, and maybe your parents, her parents, and you can talk and you can tell them about your friend's suicide threat.

Please tell someone. SHE NEEDS PROFESSIONAL HELP. If you don't tell her parents, the worst could happen, and you don't want to be the one who didn't listen to her threat. I'm not saying that it will happen, but anything is possible.

If you care about your friend, you need to tell her parents.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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Okay.....how do you get over a guy you really like? Do you go out with someone else to get ur mind off him? Or do you just let things be n see what happens? Help Please!!

No, don't go out with a guy just to get over another guy. It's a lie, if you think about it, plus it just isn't that nice to lead a guy on like that then break his heart.

Don't sit around the house watching romantic comedies all day. Take up a new hobby. Learn a new sport. Do what you really love. Draw a picture, write a poem. Hang out with friends.

You know what's fun? Have a get-together with some close friends. Bring a camera along. Take some good pictures. Then, make a scrapbook! You can document all the good times with friends. When you look back at it, you'll see how you can be happy, even without this guy.

It takes time, but with a bit of effort, you should get over him. Good luck!!

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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Hey ya`ll! I am a 14 year old female who plans on having her b-day party in the sumemr instead of the winter. My real birthday is on January 14th but we are going to celebrate it on July 14th. This is because I share my birthday with Kristin Cavallari from Laguna Beach and so my friends had the amazing idea to do it over the summer. Does anyone have any ideas on what we could do? where? and others. i rate high for good advice! thanks!!

Have a Laguna Beach party!! You can go to a pool (or the beach, if possible) to tan and swim. You can BBQ some food and eat it outside!

Then you can go back to your house (or you can just go back inside, if you have a pool), you can hang out for a while and play video games, call people, and things like that. Then, you guys can sing the Happy Birthday song (if you want to, anyway) and eat cake. While you eat cake, you can watch Laguna Beach (Get the DVD's)!

Make the cake have bright colored icing, like orange or yellow. Maybe it can have a sun on it or something like that.

You can put things like sunglasses, tanning lotion, glitter, and stuff like that in a goody bag. Make it seem glamourous and California-like. :o)

Simple, but still fun.

I hope I helped, and if you have any other questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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Yeah i know this is like really random, but i was just wondering, how do you guys feel about the store Abercrombie and Fitch. I was reading about it online and so many people seem to hate it!!!

i don't really shop there that often but i was thinking of getting some clothes there for christmas and i was just wanted to know some of yall opinionss on it

Some of their stuff is cute. Not much, though.

For instance, their jeans are insanely expensive, and you can get similar jeans at Kohl's, Target, or wherever, for a LOT cheaper.

Now for the shirts... some of them have sayings that are kind of sexual in nature. If you get a shirt there, make sure that you know exactly what it means. Also, most of their shirts are made of thin material, so you'd have to wear a cami or another shirt under it. Their polos (well, collared shirts) are very expensive as well, and you can get them anywhere! (At A&F, a long sleeve polo-style shirt is $39.50!)
One other thing, too. Many of the shirts just say "Abercrombie and Fitch" in fancy letters, then they slap a $20.00-$30.00 price tag on it.

I wouldn't believe all of the things you hear online, simply because most kids who say something about the store just don't like it because "everyone else wears it."

Basically, they have some cute stuff, but you're paying for the name more so than the quality.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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i no hes using me.
but like.
i like him alot
and i dont want him to break up with me.
i no that sounds dumb.
but yeah
and i dont want to dumb him.
what should i do??

I know you don't want to dump him, but I'll say this again. Tell him that you aren't ready to have sex. He should respect you decision. If he doesn't, he ISN'T WORTH YOUR TIME.

You want him to like you, and you probably are thinking that having sex will make him like you.
WRONG.
It will let him know that you are vulnerable to be used, and that's it. HE'S USING YOU! There is no point in having sex with someone who is USING YOU FOR YOUR BODY AND WHO DOESN'T RESPECT YOUR FEELINGS, YOUR HEART.

He likes your body. He wants your body. But he doesn't want what really matters: your heart.
I'm sorry to say this, but he doesn't care about you. He cares about himself. He wants the sex. Does he care if you want it? No. If something happened to you, he probably wouldn't give a care. I know it sounds harsh, but that's how it seems.

He knows you like him, and he knows that you will do anything he wants you to do. He knows that he has control, and giving in will simply tell him that you will do anything he wants you to do.
You have control of your life. Don't get into the habit of letting people get away with using you. Don't let him tell you what you can and cannot do. It's not his body, it's YOURS. Your body is too precious to give to somebody who is taking advantage of it, and who doesn't respect it. If you were meant to be used and told what you can and cannot do, we wouldn't have been given free will.

You say you don't want to dump him, even though you know he's using you. He isn't worth your time. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER!
I know it's not what you want to hear, but advice isn't always like that. You're not always going to hear what you want to. If you did, it wouldn't be advice.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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Alright, I was assigned to write two articles for the school newspaper. The first has to be something about Christmas...but I can't think of anythin that isn't cynical/witty/overly sarcastic. Any ideas?

The second is about schools and why they are essential. Ideas, please?

Thank you - will rate 5 for every idea!!

For the Christmas article, maybe you can write an article about presents. Some people have no idea what to get their friends, and you can offer some basic ideas for each gender or personality type (if they're a music lover, girly, etc.). You can even ask some people what they're getting their friends for Christmas, and include that in the article.

For the school and why it's essential article, you can just get straight to the point. Say what you think of school, and list a few reasons why you think that it is essential. Say why it will help you succeed, and maybe share some success stories (If you know someone who went to Harvard or something). Maybe you can survey people and ask them what they think of school and why they think it's important.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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Ok, I need some advice. Just words of wisdom to help me out. My ex boyfriend wants to get back together with me, but I am having a hard time trusting him and understanding him. So, I am going to let you read an AIM conversation between us and let me know what you think. Ok? Just give me whatever advice comes your way. Here it is:

Before you read it: Cory left me back in January for a girl named Allyson who is in California. He even went to see her over the summer. WE are in Indiana. Cory is in college and I am taking the semester off to work and be with family after the breakup. Cory was cheating on me with Allyson (telling her that he loved her and had already dumped me) for 4 months before I found out. He says he fell in love with her! He told me that he never loved me like he loved her and all of that. I was devastated. He and I had been together for nearly 3 years!!!!! Well, now, they are over and he has come back to me. He wants me back and is asking for my trust and wants me to be with him. we even made out a week ago and it was AMAZING! But, I can't seem to let the past go. Just read this. Now that you have a little background, you should understand!

Me: Hey baby! How are y?ou
Him: fine
Me: you ok?
Me: busy?
Him: a little
Me: Hmmmm
Me: who are you talking to?
Me: Laugh out Loud
Me: Just kidding
Him: no one
Him: working on this song
Me: Cool Beans Batman!
Me: My hair is BLONDE!
Him: ok, good
Me: you didn't like it dark?
Him: not really
Me: Laugh out loud, ok
Me: Well, its like almost white
Me: Kinda hard to get used to
Him: we'll see
Me: Ok
Me: I found some old pictures of us on a CD
Me: I ripped all of the paper ones
Him: ok
Me: Sorry!
Me: Did you take Allyson's pictures off your phone?
Him: no, just like i didn't take yours off my computer
Me: Hmmmmm....
Me: But hers are Nasty cause she is a whore and all and if you want to forget her, then why keep them?
Him: she's not a whore, and i'm not going to put up with that (insert my name here)
Me: ?
Me: with what?
Him: i am not going to put up with you bad mouthing my ex
Me: And I have reason to NOT do that?
Him: you'll lose some of my respect
Me: Well, ok, I wont bad mouth her, but, um, why keep the pictures?
Him: i want to remember
Me: you want to remember leaving me and hurting me?
Him: i want to remember her, and california, and the good times we had
Me: Why? Why does it mean that much to you if you are over her?
Me: I will tell you why, cause you still love her, and want her, and you dont love me, you only want me cause you and her are over. I am just a rebound! You dont regret ANYTHING that you did at all. You dont even think it was wrong, do you? I get it now!
Him: o my god, i am not going to put up with this shit, night
Me: I am not trying to be rude, I am sorry
Me: I am just hurt cause I see it now
Him: no, you don't
Him: cause that
Him: that's not it
Him: i am tired of your jealous attitude
Him: just fuck it
Him: forget everything that's happened the past couple of weeks between us
Him: bye
Me: How can I not be jealous? You left me for her.
Me: Sorry!
Him: do you WANT to lose me again, cause you are going to..
Me: I am sorry, what is it that I dont understand then?
Him: i just want to remember her! christ!
Him: jesus FUCKING christ
Me: Well, ok, but how would you feel if I had half nude pics of Nick on my phone and would not delete them? I mean, others, ok, I can see that.
Me: Is this really what you want? : forget everything that's happened the past couple of weeks between us
Him: it seems to be what you want
Me: No, it isn't Cory!
Him: then just shut up about the past
Him: i am not going to talk about it anymore
Me: I WANT YOU! But, I cant help it that I am jealous of her, Cory! You cant expect me to just let it go whenever it was something that hurt me as much as it did. You just dont undertsand that.
Me: And I am sorry that you dont want to talk about it, but talking about it helps my insecurities
Me: Talking is what we have to do to fix the problems
Him: well, i just don't want to talk about it
Me: So, you don't want to fix my insecurities? Cause thats about the only way
Me: I mean, you couldn't have expected this to all be easy? I thought we agreed to fix things together. Remember? You even said "Then let me heal you" when I told you that I was still hurt. And, I am!
Me: I can't help that.
Him: i'm just busy, and i want to just forget everything from before
Me: Then why r you mad at me
Me: ?
Him: i'm not
Me: I think you are
Me: I was just trying to talk to you and you blew up. AGAIN
Me: ?
Him: i'm just writing this music
Him: it's star wars
Me: Ok
Me: Well.....
Me: ?
Him: wanna hear it so far?
Me: Cory, I love you sweetie and I want to be with you again and make this work, but your always blowing up on me. And I am sorry that I am insecure, but I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND AND HELP ME WITH IT!
Me: Sure
Him: just a sec then
Me: ?
Me: you calling?
Him: yes
Me: You dont sound to happy to talk to me when you call
Him: i am just preoccupied here
Me: ok, so, back on the subject......
Me: Like I said:
Me: Cory, I love you sweetie and I want to be with you again and make this work, but your always blowing up on me. And I am sorry that I am insecure, but I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND AND HELP ME WITH IT!
Me: Thats EXACTLY how I feel
Him: well, not much i can do, you just have to get over things, and give it time
Me: get over what?
Him: the past
Me: and what about you blowing up on me?
Him: just cause i am busy
Me: Ok, well, I guess I can try to be more understanding about that, but you need to try not to
Him: ok
Me: But, you already said to foget everything, so.....
Me: and you said that I was going to lose you
Him: just stop
Me: ?
Him: i'm going to bed
Him: i'm tired of this tonight
Me: Ok, well, did you mean what you said?
Him: no
Me: If so, just tell me
Me: Ok, then, why did you say it?
Him: just tired of talking about all this stuff
Me: O My God! I am doing it AGAIN! This is what drove you crazy last time. I nit pick! Every word you say
Him: yeah, exactly
Me: UGH! I am sorry!
Him: going to bed
Him: to bed i said
Me: Laugh Out Loud
Me: Well, Sorry!
Him: night, love you
Him: night
Me: Just give it time, I will stop being so stupid!
Me: And I love you too!
Me: gnite
Him: is away at 11:14:18 PM.

Let me know what you think!

No, I don't think that you should go back out with him. He's an idiot. He's coldhearted. Look at this line:

Him: well, not much i can do, you just have to get over things, and give it time

A REALLY nice guy would have said, "I'm sorry, can you please forgive me?" or something along those lines. This line just makes it seem like he really doesn't care about how you feel.

And that's not all! It's kind of weird how he wants to hold on to the past by keeping the pictures of his ex-girlfriends, but then he tries to forget all of the bad things he did in the past (breaking up with you). He seems kind of stubborn; not admitting his mistakes, but simply forgetting about them. People who don't learn from mistakes are doomed to repeat them. Some man he is.

AND THAT'S NOT ALL!! HE DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. Lack of communication is bad for a relationship. You'd probably get frustrated with him if you got in a relationship.

You apologized a few times in the conversation... for what? Did he ever apologize to you when he hurt you? You did nothing wrong. You're probably just scared that he will get mad at you and not want to get into a relationship with you again, which is why you apologized so much.

He just doesn't seem to care about the relationship and HOW YOU FEEL! Don't go out with this guy; you're only putting yourself through more pain.

Bottom line? HE WAS THE ONE WHO HURT YOU. HE LIED. HE CHEATED. HE WAS THE IDIOT. He took your heart, that you trusted him with, and broke it, and if you get into a relationship with him again, the past is doomed to repeat itself. He betrayed your trust once already, remember that.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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okay i have cut myself in the past and kinda still do...i am anorexic and get upset easily...when my mom found out i was cutting she said "Dont be a stupid f***"...and i asked to see a therapist and she said i dont need to..she jus doesnt understand...i dont know what to do...i am so anorexic ive lost my period and i am starting to cut again ((along with suicide poems)) and i obviously cant ask her...school counselours dont work..i've tried..please help!

Well, I know that you've already tried achool counselors, but try again. Say, "I am anorexic to the point that I've lost my period. I cut and I get upset easily. I need professional help. My mom says I don't, but I think I do. Can you please help me?" The counselor can probably talk to your mom.

You can't go through this alone. I know you've tried talking to someone, and that you realize what your problem is. That's the first step to getting better.

What exactly caused you to become anorexic and to cut? I'm guessing that you have a low self-esteem, and that can change. I doubt you're overweight or obese. Start eating. No, not stuffing your face with anything you want to. I mean that you should eat healthy. Being healthy includes eating when you're hungry and stopping when you're full. You can treat yourself to a piece of cake or some ice cream once in a while, too.

There are people that love and care for you; don't commit suicide. Don't even think about it. You may think that it ends your pain, but it just hurts the ones that love and care about you.

You can't talk to your mom, and the school counselor still hasn't helped? Ask a teacher or another adult that you trust. YOU NEED HELP. If you've talked to your mom and she can't help you, you need to get help elsewhere. Don't be embarrassed about it; you're NOT ALONE.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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Why are guys so goddamn shallow?! Not saying girls aren't but I know I lowered my standards a bit because the guy I like right now is hott to me but I know the majority of girls would disagree. It's just..the boobs, tall, blonde hair..can't guys see past that to other people with more substance?! Do similar interests mean anything? How can you tell if they're flirting or not or just pretending to lead you on then burn you, or even just being "friends"? Please help, I'm so sick of being a loner. Thanks.

When guys are in their teens, usually they want a girl who will make them look good. That's not always the case, though. Some guys only bother to look at the girls they hang out with or talk to regularly, and if this guy is popular, he probably doesn't like much more than the popular girls.
Not all guys are like this, but many younger guys, sadly, are. A few guys can see past all of the looks and see the girls with more substance. Similar interests do mean something, yes. Usually guys will want someone that has one (or some) of the same interests, or else they'd be pretty bored if they tried talking to each other.

It's hard to tell of a guy is flirting or simply leading you on. It's also hard to see if he's trying to be friends or something more, because a lot of times, a guy will usually try to become friends with a girl if he likes her, so she can notice him and they can get to know one another better.
A guy might be leading you on if he wants to just 'do stuff', like sex, with you. (Don't do it!) Other than that, it's hard to tell what a guy's true intentions are.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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so you answered my quesion, and said if i had anymore, to message you.
so, what my question meant, was, will i lose fat before i gain muscle? im pretty sure i will, but i was making sure.
i'm... 5'1, around 130 or a little more, and i'm female.
i want to get in shape, lose weight like i've been wanting to, and maybe develop what you call "abs"
hahaha.
well, i have AIM, my s/n is yellow antidote
if you have one (an s/n), please IM me, thanks, oh and i have an advice column too, but people need advice too.
thanks
=chynna.

Well, if you do weight training and cardio at the same time, you'll gain muscle and lose fat.

You can still gain muscle, but it's not always seen (for instance, you can gain muscle in your abs but it's not always seen. A person's ab muscles are visible when they have a 6-pack, for instance). I've heard that it's good to do weight training, like lifting light weights, and also doing cardio, like running or the treadmill.

No matter how much you weigh, you can still gain muscle. Weights, start out with 5 lb., do that. Cardio, like running, is the stuff that helps you lose weight.

If you do both at once, you can gain muscle and lose fat. One doesn't come faster than the other.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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Me and my best friend,kay have been friends for 4 years and were totally close. Around Christmas, birthdays, or special occasions i tend to get big gifts. Like on time i bought her a green flower necklace ($20) and earrings ($10). At christmas i gave her a adult make up kit ($30) and her birthday this year i got her the black eyed peas cd (monkey business)($14), a unique black shimmering purse ($50), green 7up label shirt ($6) and a black shimmering belt($3) to go with the black purse. Then for her last year birthday i got her Nordstrom pajamas ($20-$30)and a piggy bank with her name panited on it ($40). Is that too much? But thats how i share my love for her. That's just the way i am i go a little over, but there neccessary. I hate if someone else got the gift i wanted to give her before me or i see something perfect and i don't get it. I don't really look at the cost that much. Everything i gave she liked because of her personality and the way she favored them. When she buys my gifts she feel there like 5 levels under mine. She doesn't have the money like my parents do, but i love and cherrish whatever she gives me. I love everything she gives me even if it was a damn peanut. I just the thought of her thinking about me. She wants me to tone it down. It will kill me! My mom even thought to give her a coach purse ($198- $300). I said no that's no what she would like that's something i would lik so. This is just the way i amd and my family we go overboard. Basically we go to the best stores for the gifts we know won't fall apart. I never had anyone complain about me giving them too much. She always talks about the cost all the time like a she's an adult and it gets annoying and takes the fun out of a few things. What should i do should i ddown size or just stay me? HELP ME (i rate high*)!!!!!!!!

She probably feels guilty that you give her huge presents when she can't really do that for you.

If I were you, I'd tone it down a little bit. I know you like giving, but she seems to know how much you care about her and treasure her as a friend. Remember that.

Try buying her something small, or a few small things, and then making her something, like a card or a collage of pictures of you two together. It's cool getting stuff, but it's even cooler getting something that you know that someone put their heart into making. It makes the person feel special.

You're a true friend, not caring about what she gives you, but cherishing that they came from her heart. I'm sure she cherishes what you give her because they came from your heart, too. :o)

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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if i go to the gym will i only gain muscle or will i lose weight? how can i do both without looking TOO buff?

It depends. If you gain muscle, you would have to lift weights and go on the machines that tone your muscles. To lose weight, you would do cardio, such as running, the treadmill, EFX machines, jumping rope, and things like that.

Just do a little bit of weight training by lifting 5 or 8 pound weights (make sure you know how to do this right, and if 8 lb. is too heavy, try 5 lb.). You can do the machines, too. But do some cardio as well, since that's what makes you lose weight.

REMEMBER, muscle weighs more than fat, so if you gain muscle and lose fat, the results might not show up on the scale. What I mean is that your weight could increase or stay the same if you do both. Just letting you know. :-)

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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im 13 and a girl and this year i actually feel ready for sex. is that normal at this age? is there something wrong with me? i know a guy that is willing to have sex with me, should i have sex? if i do should i tell my parents?
**sexy_gal_1992**

Unless you are ready to have a baby, you aren't ready for sex. You can't raise a baby at 13; I don't care how mature and ready you think you are. It costs a lot of money to raise a child (clothes, food, bottles, crib, toys... etc.).

13 is way too young to have sex. Just because you're a teenager doesn't magically make you mature. I'm not saying you're immature. What I'm saying is that just because you're a teen, that doesn't make you any more mature (emotionally) than you were when you were 12.
Plus, you act like it's a casual thing when you say:
"i know a guy that is willing to have sex with me, should i have sex?"
You should ONLY have sex with someone you LOVE. Sex is a big deal, and it shouldn't be done casually. Just because a guy wants to have sex with you, doesn't mean you should have sex with him.

Besides, the risks are there. STD's, HIV/AIDS, and pregnancy. You don't want an STD because some stay with you for a very, very long time. You DEFINITELY don't want HIV/AIDS, and you don't want to get pregnant, as I said in the first paragraph. JUST BECAUSE a guy says "I don't have HIV/AIDS or STD's" means nothing. He might not even know.

You might have sexual thoughts and/or feelings, which is normal at this age because you're going through puberty, but that doesn't mean you're ready for sex.

Bottom line is, don't do it. I think that you should wait.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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hi i like this boy who i no is just using me for sex but i keep letting him because i like him what should i do

He isn't worth liking. He isn't worth you time, either. You should NEVER EVER let someone take advantage of you, which is what he is doing. You should also NEVER let anyone, no matter how hot or nice (etc.) they are, pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.

Even if this guy came to like you, it wouldn't be for the right reasons. A guy should like you for your personality, not sex.
He's superficial. It seems like he cares more about the sex than he does about you, and I know that's probably not what you want to hear, that's how it looks. This is just my opinion, but if something ever happened to you, I don't think that he would be there for you.

Stop letting him use you and stand up for yourself. If he pressures you to have sex, say no. Stay away from him; this guy isn't worth your time.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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ok im in a lot of trouble...here it goes, me, one of my best friends staci and her cousin nick got drunk at a party at her house(were all 13 and this is our first time getting drunk)...her aunt let us drink...so me and nick had like 5,6 straight shots and staci only had like 2. so me and nick were smashed and staci was a lil drunk...we went on stacis trampoline and we finally fell and were just laying there...i dont know i was being weird and was saying shit like"i love you guys, your the best, im glad we did this together." and i looked over at nick and we started hooking up he had his hand on my ass and i didnt mind, i had my hands all over him(not on his dick or anything) and we were making out for a while, my other best friend jessica likes him alot. but i was so drunk to even remeber that. staci finally relized what was going on and pull us off of each other and we were like what are you doing stop..and then she started freaking out and was like i need to call jessica i need to call jessica..and nick was trying to talk to her and i was like nick i love you and he was like yea i love you to..and he looked over and gave me a lil kiss. well jessica came over to stacis house and put me to bed and i fell alseep

this is wat nick said to staci about wat happened
-he said i was ontop of him and he would of stopped but he couldnt(while we were hooking up he kept saying i love u to me and he could of said stop, so that was a lie)
-staic said someone was holding her hands down he said he wasnt(like i said my hands were all over him so his one hand that wasnt on my ass must of been holding her hands down)

so now staci and jessica hate me and they believe what nick says and he was lying and they wont believe me..i cant even look at them any more and i tried to tell them when you get drunk you dont really relize whats going on..and jessica said she asked her sister and her sister said that u do relize whats going on when your drunk im soo mad and upset at the same time..i dont know wat i can say to jessica and staci so they know im sorry and that i was drunk and it wasnt really my fault

Well, first, learn from your mistake. You're way too young to drink AT ALL, and it makes it worse being a female, since female bodies are more sensitive to drinking and the like. So don't drink again until you're 21, and even then, don't become drunk.

Anyway, all you can do is talk to them. Ask "Hey, can I talk to you guys?" Make sure they're not in a bad mood and make sure you're alone. Tell them in a calm, mature way that you were drunk and that you couldn't think straight because of that. Tell them that you're sorry and that you'll never, ever do it again. Tell Jessica that you would never do that intentionally and that you never meant to hurt her.

That's pretty much all you can do. Don't freak out or yell at them; it does no good. Try to refrain from using cuss words, too. Be very mature about it.

If Staci was there when it happened, she should know the truth. Ask her what SHE really saw.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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Hi ok f/13

so i got braces this summer and since them they have had to fix 4 braces that came off. Now he yelled at me and said this was very uncommon and that i was doing it it was noithng he did. Now i have an appoitment and for more of my braces came of in like a half year period is this noraml. im scared to go bac hes gonna yell alot! please help

Your orthodontist yells at you? That's rude. YOU (well, your parents) PAY for his services, and as expensive as braces are, he should put the brackets back on without complaining. He can tell you not to eat sticky, hard foods and stuff like that CALMLY, but yelling is crossing the line.

Tell your parents about it. This 'orthodontist' needs to respect his customers. He needs an attitude adjustment as well.

That's a lot of brackets to come off in such a short period of time though. Avoid very hard foods, sticky foods (sugarfree gum is usually okay), and don't pick at your brackets.

Tell your parents before the next appointment.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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Sooo along time ago i like this boy jack a whollle lot!!! And now... a year later... me and him started going out.... I dont do any drugs or smoke or anything. Andi knew he smoked cigs.. but i can deal...and then i find out he smokes weed.... once again i can deal...just as long as he dont do it around me. But now im seeing that hes a lil too obsessed with weed ...and now i find out he does dip. I DONT WANNA KISS THAT!!
I really loves him and ive waited so long for this , but the dip and stuff crossed the line .... I dont know if i wanna break up with him, cus i love him ...but it seems a little out of control. PLEASE HELP!

Ask him to stop. Tell him in a calm voice (when he's not around his friends and when he's not in a bad mood) that you don't like it when he does drugs. You care for him, right? Say that too.
Be nice about it. That's the key. Saying something like, "JACK I HATE IT SO MUCH WHEN YOU DO DRUGS!!!" isn't going to help; it will make him angry, most likely. It will be hard to stay calm because you might get angry or nervous, but you should be okay.

So confront him and be calm about it. Give him a few weeks. If he doesn't TRY to change (drugs are addictive; it won't happen overnight), then I'd break up with him.

I think that you should care more about his health than worrying about kissing him. I'm not trying to be sarcastic or mean, but you don't ever mention anything about being worried about him and his health; you only mentioned that you don't want to kiss him.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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Again, this isn't exactly a massive problem, but if anyone has any ideas....
I had a big falling-out with my best friend this summer. She had been pissing me off for ages, by generally being a selfish, irritating ho (there are quite a few reasons, not important), so I just told her I didn't want to speak to her anymore. And now we are back at school and she has no idea I hate her. I'm still really angry at her, and she is just totally oblivious. I feel like I'd like some way to tell her how I feel or get revenge although I know it would be just to make myself feel better and make her feel bad.
Any ideas? And I'm this post makes me look like a bitter, avengeful bitch, don't bother leaving me notes telling me that, I'll report ya :)

Believe me, and I say this from experience, revenge does nothing for you. It makes you feel horrible and guilty because you hurt the person and stooped to their level.
Don't worry; I don't think you're a bitter, avengeful b*tch. Everyone feels like they want to get revenge at least one time in their life.

Tell her calmly and in a mature way how she's been acting. Don't cause a scene, and don't be mean about it. Make sure she isn't in a bad mood and that she's alone.

Say something like, "Hey, I don't like the way you've been acting, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak to me anymore."

You might even want to tell her this when she's in the middle of acting like selfish or irritating. Just remember to be calm.

She probably just wants to avoid the problem, and she probably doesn't like confrontation. She wants to act like the problem isn't there so she doesn't have to deal with it.
I don't know her, so that might not be the case, but that's just what I think based on your description of the situation.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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Ok. 13/m. I don't know if this question goes under Families or Work/School Relationships. Sorry it's so long. I'm really worried for my sister (14/f). She just found her first date at school this year. They went to the movies and all. My sister was just sitting there waiting for him to do something. She had her arm on the armrest the whole time waiting for him to hold it or something. She bought Junior Mints "just in case"---didn't use a single one. She could've talked to me. I've been asking and answering Advicenator questions for months now. I pretty much know what's going to happen and the pains she's going to feel. But no. She doesn't like to tell me stuff. Instead, she tells our cousin, who has serious boy problems. Boys rule her life. Her Bat Mitzvah was ruined because her newest ex was there. She couldn't enjoy Avenue Q because one of her exes liked it. She has serious issues. I know that. My parents know that. My sister just doesn't seem to get it, so she talks to her for advice.

My cousin is saying things like "Well, if he doesn't want to hold your hand, he must not be right. Dump him." or "Try rushing him, that usually works for me." I eavesdrop on their conversations because I'm concerned. I want her to listen to me. I've gotten chances to talk to her which I of course took advantage of, but she refuses to understand. She doesn't believe that she'll face hate, jealousy, rejection, etc. I felt most of it first-hand, but as for the parts actually IN the dating, I couldn't get that far. She doesn't think I know enough. Just because I'm younger and haven't actually dated doesn't mean that I haven't felt jealousy and rejection, I haven't been extremely depressed, etc.
How can I get her to listen to me? Thanks.

By the way, don't say to write in a diary. I'm already doing that, but my parents confiscated it last night for writing after dark.

Teenagers are like that. I know that's probably what you don't want to hear, but it's the truth.
But it's usually with the parents.
For example, a parent will usually tell their child if they don't approve of a friend/boyfriend/girlfriend. The child goes into denial, defending whoever the parent doesn't approve of. But in the end, the parent is usually right. Of course, it doesn't just count for parents, it also counts for people like you, who care about someone and don't want them to get hurt.

She probably (This might not be the case, but it is likely) doesn't listen to you because you're younger. Even though you aren't much younger, your sister might think that you haven't had as much life experience. What I'm saying is that your sister might not take you seriously because you're the younger brother.

You've already done all you can do. Like what I said about the parents. They do all they can, but they can't make the child change.
If you've told her that you care and are worried about her, then you've done all you can do. Although you care about her, she needs to experience the rejection and pain. She needs to learn from this.

I hope everything goes well!

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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Some friends and I are in a group project and it's on the holocaust. We're making a movie, but we wanted a song that would really show the sadness of the holocaust, or that would in some way relate to the holocaust, to play in the background of the movie.

If you get what I mean and know any sad songs that relate to the holocaust, or just any songs that relate, PLEASE answer. We're editing the movie now, and it's due friday, so if you can PLEASE help!! Thanks!

Well, this song isn't sad, but I think it relates a bit. "We Are All Made of Stars" by Moby is good. The lyrics are here: http://www.lyricsspot.com/song.php?s=33305&lyrics=Moby 18 We Are All Made Of Stars

A sad song is "We Believe" by Good Charlotte. The beginning is: "There's a woman crying out tonight/her world has changed/she asked God why/Her only son has died/and now her daughter cries/she can't sleep at night."

If you want to do something about the end of the Holocaust, a good song would be "Ray of Light" by Madonna.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders

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