about

hey, i'm not a very nice person if i get pissed off, but i've gone through a lot in my life so i think that i can give good advice on a lot of things. if anyone isn't sure that they can talk to someone because they don't understand then feel free to IM me on my AIM and i can talk to you, and i don't mind letting you guys know about my past.
*~*shan*~*


ps
(this is my favorite quote) "as long as you've got one person in the world, you've already betten the odds"



advice

ok on monday I was dumped and I'm really unnhappy about it but now my ex keeps slagging me off to all my friends one of my friends told me what he'd said when I got to school he was being really nasty to me he kept calling me a ho slag slut and a bitch and said he regrets going out with me and that he never even liked me but when we were going out he text me saying I love you so did he have feelings for me but now he's being really nasty to me and now he's going out with his ex ex and I'm really stressed now what can I do please help me!

just forget him, sounds like he's a real asshole and you don't need him, you better off with a guy who's real just because he's a childish prick doesn't mean that you have to be depressed that he is making bad choices. if there's one thing that i've learned when it comes to dating, it's that you're going to find out more about a person after you break up, then the real them comes out. it won't be easy but you'll get over him, hope i helped
*~*shan*~*

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Ok....I'm a single girl, 16 yrs old, Junior in high school. And there is a guy in my school, who is a grade ahead of me who had expressed that he likes me and "thinks im hot" and yadda yadda yadda. So anyway, ever since hes confronted me about it I've been starting to notice how cute he is and that i like him, He is always flirting with me but he is a very flirtacious type, and not just with me but with other girls. He calls me every now and then to hang out but I always have plans!!! And im afraid hes never going to call me again b/c I'm always busy, eventhough he still talks/flirts with me. If he doesnt make the move soon enough, I will. But i dont wanna come off in a strong way, or have him say no. I just wanna ask him to go out somewhere, liek the mall or movies. He flirts with so many other girls and everyone tels me "hes a dick dont go with him" but i really like him,. He smokes weed, which im against, but Ive had a boyfriend before that smoked weed so i tolerate it, he has a great personality and he is my kind of good-looking guy. What should i do?

if you're against someone who smokes weed why the hell would you date someone like that? and don't worry about the whole flirting thing, some guys just do things like that, my ex used to flirt with everyone and we dated for 9 months and are still kind of dating...just call him on a day you're free and ask him to hang, make the choice for yourself and don't let other people's opinions of this guy sway you to a decision that you won't be happy with.
*~*shan*~*

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I have wavy hair that is very thick and very frizzy in humidity. I live in Maine we have pretty humid summers. I am looking into getting a striaght perm in the summer. Does anyone know:
1.) If they have harmful chemicals that are carcinogenic or damage your hair?
2.) If they don't get frizzy even in humidity
3.) How long they last
4.) How much they cost
5.) Anything else about them!
Thanks much!

your best bet would be to just get a straightener, trust i've looked into getting a straight perms and they don't exist, unfortunatatly there's nothing us curly/wavy haired people can do

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Okay, so there's this guy that I like. I want him to notice me more, but not "look at that skank" notice me. I need to know what look cute on someone like me with my hair and shape. I'm 5'3" i weigh 120lbs and I'm sort of hippy and I don't want to say cheasted, but I'm not flat either. I wear basically "prep" or sometimes "skater" clothes, whatever's comfortable. I'm conscience of my stomach, but I wear tight clothes anyways, no skirts thought. What could I wear to look okay? For my hair-- I dye it blonde and i have bangs off the the side that reach the top of my lips, its angled down from there to about 3 inches past my shoulders. I usually straighten it with an iron and curl the ends under, but I'm getting bored with this look. Also, scrunching it with gel makes it too snarly the next day. Could someone please help me here? ((I rate if it helps any)) 14/f

--Jor*

i think that you shouldn't try to change your look for some guy, trust me they aren't worth it in the long run, just be true to who you are and if he doesn't like you because of your clothes, the screw him!
*~*shan*~*

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my friends are drinking and taking drugs! i have tried to avoid them because i am uncomfortable being around them. My friend just called and told me that one of my friends just had drugs while she was driving her attitude and mood is changing and it's not a good change! my other friend i'm not mad at him but i think he thinks i am!! What should i do?

i think that you should talk to your friends, find out why they are doing these things, and tell them that if they don't stop then you're going to just find new friends, you don't need/want to be around people that you feel uncomfortable around. hope i helped
*~*shan*~*

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Sorry this is long, but i rate high! :)

I have a friend...lets call her Jill. Well jill is really cool to hang out with...when she isnt around guys or we arent on the subject of guys. She always uses guys and she flirts with them, and leads them on all the time and then she ends up crushing them. She always steals the gusy her friends like (including the guys i like...) and we are all sick of it. I really want to tell her off because i have talked to her about it before but just talking to her wont get through to her. I want her to really realize what a slutty jerk she has turned into. because she used to be really cool. Please help!

talk to your friend, tell her to lay off your guys or to take a hike, she must not be that good of a friend if she can't leave your guys alone, tell her to back off and stop being such a skank (sorry for being harsh, just trying to keep it real), you prolly don't need her anyways, or hey start doing that to her and when she gets all pissy about it just say "now you know how we feel"
*~*shan*~*

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Ok, well, I got my period on Thursday, Its not the 1st time I got it cuz I have had it since I was 10. The question I have is how long do they usually last? Before, mine were about 7-9 days and this one has only been 3 and it isn’t heavy at all, like im done with it and I usually get really bad cramps and have really heavy flows ad ahad neither. Why is it so light and short this time???


No, im not pregnant and cuz Im still a virgin, im only 13… lol…

you're just not regualar yet, they will become more consistant as you get older
*~*shan*~*

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do guys like it if girls ask them to dance or go out w/ them...ive always wondered. or does the guy have to do it all?

yeah they do, guys like girls that are outgoing and outspoken, that's why sadie hawkins dance's were invented, because it's not just the guy's job to ask the girl out. remember it's 2004 and women can think for themselves!
*~*shan*~*

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ok...i have been going out with this guy for about a month now...he has become one of my best friends too...any ways....my friend is all over him ALL the time! she hugs him, holds his hands...and i dont like it...im going out with him not her! im not jealous....i just dont like it! what should i do!?!?!? thank you soooo much!

you're not the only girl who doesn't like things like that, most girls don't, talk to your boyfriend then talk to your friend tell them that you don't like it and it's going to stop, don't beat around the bush because that won't get you anywhere, just be straight forward and honest
*~*shan*~*

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Hi. My names Kylie and this is my situation. I live with my older sister because my dad left and my mom died when I was born. I'm 13 and she’s 29. Anyways when I was 4 one of her friends was watching me while she went out and he was touching me sexually. I didn’t tell her and the next time he babysat me he did it again. He did it 4 different times that I can remember. Anyways I never told my sister about it. And they’re still really good friends today. He comes all the time so I see him a lot. And I feel really awkward around him. What I'm wondering is should I tell my sister about it? I don’t know if shed believe me and if she did I don’t know if shed do anything about it. I know its sexual abuse but can he actually get in trouble for it? Like since it happened a long time ago?

Please reply. I really don’t know what to do here.
Please email me if you think you can help.
hollisterhunni0628@yahoo.com

- Kylie

HELL YEAH YOU SHOULD TELL HER! no guy should be allowed to get away with touching a young girl in any sexual way, it's not right and it's not fair to you, you'll be ok i promise but you've got to let your sister know what happend so she can take care of you and get rid of that loser creep!
*~*shan*~*

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I had a boy very close to me,but I moved
now I miss him ,I'm really sad,
nothing is wrong with me, I think
in my high school almost all the girls have
boyfriend,I feel really lonely.
every time I watch them do their boyfriend-
girlfriend things I cry.sometimes I just want to
kill myself .being alone is killing me please
I really need to know what I should do,because
I think guy are scare of me but I'm pretty,smart
and I have a medium body why is this happening
what can I do?
I'm desperate

whoa down girl, you're fine, if you think that not having a boyfriend is worth killing yourself, then you've got bigger problems hun. guys aren't that great trust me,talk to your mom she'll tell you the same thing i'm sure. and it sounds to me (this might be harsh but it's true)you're jealous of the other girls in school because they are getting attention from guys and you aren't, and i'm sure that not all of the girls have boyfriends
*~*shan*~*

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Well I've got a boyfriend and he keeps telling me he that he takes drugs like he injects himself with heroin and sniffs canaBIS and stuff and steals cars also he says he's got a daughter and I don't know if he's telling the truth anyway he flirts with my friends which gets on my nerves and I've told my parents and they told me to keep away from him and to have nothing to do with him but I really love him and if I dump him he might start being nasty to me and I don't want that to happen what can I do please help me if you can !!

GET RID OF HIM! you don't want to be with someone who will harm his body like that for any reason at all, you can do much better than him i promise, just dump him, and if he gets bitter who cares, there's a chance that if he can take drugs he can do other things (like hit you) and you don't want to risk being around someone who could put you in danger, hunny drop him like a bad habit, and just find someone else
*~*shan*~*

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Hi My name is Nicole, Well most of my friends do drugs and well i dont because i have head on my sholders.Anyways so i told my bestfriends boyfriend that she was still smoking and later on she came up to me and yelld at me. And well her and her bf broke up because she lied to him and i guess there was more to the story so yea.....anyways so now she got allof myfriends agenst me for some stupid reason and i dont even know what i did to the rest of them....Do you guys think i made the rigth choice by going to her boyfriend and not teacher because she would be grounded for the rest of her life if her parents found out..... so what can i do to get my friends back..
PLEASE HELP PLEASE

you absolutly did the right thing, and sooner or later your friend will realize that. she's just angry at the fact that you told on her, though maybe you might have wanted to talk to her first and just give her a small warning as to what you would do if she didn't stop. she'll get over it, as for your other friends if you didn't do anything to them then you've got nothing to worry about, they are just being sheep, keep your head up and just stay positive
*~*shan*~*

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My parents broke up about a week ago when i found out about this i was so sad. i had never expected it to happen they always played their role in front of me to be good and loving parent they seemed do happy and it was so unsesected when they broke up and i hate it my dads never home i don't get to see him much and my parents both started somoking and im scared 4 them and myself please someone help me tell mi parent how to tell them i m sad with out having to go thought the long sit the long talk and the long stare HELP!!!!
Sarah

hey hun, ok my 'rents have been divorced for over 9 years and it's hard. you love your parents so much and you want them to be happy, but sometimes they can't be happy when they are together, they will never stop loving you but loving each other is just something that they can't do. it still hurts to see my mom dating because i don't like the guys that she's with and i hate my dad because of how he treats me, so if there's one thing that you MUST do is keep in touch with both of your parents. it broke my heart when i stopped hearing from my dad. he just stopped calling and sending cards, you're parents may not ever get back together but so long as you know that your parents love you then you'll be ok, and it might be hard for you to tell them how you feel, but when you know that you're ready to tell them you'll know. if you need anything or just someone to talk to feel free to talk to my on AIM my sn is sexishanibabe08, hope that everything works out for you
*~*shan*~*

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Ok, at the beginning of the school year in a new city, and at a new school, (I just moved here) the first day of school, theres this guy that asked me out when I never even talked to him once, not knowing him at all. Let's call him Bob. Bob has liked me from the first day of school till today. He's had many other crushes and girlfriends other than me but still likes me and flirts with me. As I got to know him, I started to like him. He isn't that hott, but has a great personality. He's the player type and if I went out with him I wouldn't be able to trust him. I really like him but I don't want to go out with him. I don't know why.. He's got a girlfriend right now and people say I shouldn't go out with him because he is a total man whore. At school he ignores me but glances at me whenever we pass in the hall. Do you have any advice? I'd be greatly appreciated!
[]Confused[]
P.S. I'm 13 and in grade 8 if that helps.

he ain't worth it hunny, if he can't talk to you at school then who's to say that you're going to get anything out of him any other time? and this just in, odds are if he's the player type he doesn't really like you, he just wants to brag to his that he banged the new girl, don't trust him, find a nice guy who you know wouldn't do anything to hurt you, hope i helped
*~*shan*~*

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This is a bit embarrassing but here goes im 16
and my penis is really small ive been with my girlfriend for almost 6 months and im a bit worried what she'll think will it matter that much
and will it get bigger?

well it all really depends, you might be that size forever you might not, you might still be growing, as for your girlfriend, think about it like this if she's still a virgin then she's got nothing to compare you to, and you're already the best that she's ever had. and if you ever start getting down about it just remember this; "size doesn't matter, as long as you know how to work it" good luck and i hope i helped
*~*shan*~*

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I'm 13/f, and I've been really sad lately. I'm in 8th grade, and for a while I had a lot of excitement in my life; I had my bat mitzvah during the summer, and I've been feeling that my life has been dull. I had been sad about my friends and guys, sad in general, especially at night. One night, I got so sad I cut myself...
I'm feeling depressed and I don't know what to do:(
-what do i do?-
*depressed

hun take it from someone who knows, there is no age to young for anything now a days (except sex), you're at a rough age in any childs life and there's a good chance that there may not be a good reason for you being depressed, you may be manic depressive (bi-polar), that's where you have extreme highs and lows in your moods for no reason at all. talk to your MOM, it's complicated for a girl to talk to her dad about anything that has to do with growing up, (it's a guy thing so don't feel bad about it) tell your mom how you're feeling and that you don't know why you feel this way, and don't listen to what that one person said, you can be sad for no reason. there's a chance that you might have a severe chemical imbalance which is causing this, and if you feel that you can't talk to your mom then you might want to just make an appointment with a doctor yourself and have a friends mom take you, i'm sorry this is so long but i'm going through the same thing right now, now lets get to the cutting, you said that it was only once which is good, don't do that please. that's no way to slove anything, all it's going to do is relieve the pain for a min. it's like a drug, the high only lasts for so long then you've still got the pain inside, but now you've also got a reminder on your arm, leg, ect. of how you're feeling. i can't wear shorts anymore because of all the scars on my legs, it's something that i'm not proud of but if you know that there are more people out there that you can talk to then it might help you out a little, get at my on my AIM if you need anymore help (sexishanibabe08)
*~*shan*~*

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I am always always depressed. I find myself constantly upset and moody. I have very little self confidence and right now I am in a rocky patch with my friends so I feel even worse. My boyfriend and everyone around me tells me that I am pretty and people like me but I don't feel that way.

i know how you feel, everyone who said that you should go see a docotor or get on meds doesn't really understand that it's not that easy. and yes it's a good thing for people to tell you that you're pretty and people like you, but that's not all that you need, you need someone (even if it's just one person) to SHOW you these things. everyone person who is depressed is that way for a different reason, and though they are all good reasons they can't all be solved the same way. i could help you better if i knew more about what was wrong, if you want you can IM me on AIM and talk to me, you may not believe me but i've had a lot of experience with depression, i've been like that for a very long time, sexishanibabe08 is my sn if you want to talk, if you feel like you got nowhere to turn i'll be here to talk to you whenever you need it
*~*shan*~*



ps. don't let your depression led to anything stupid, a kid at my school killed himself last night at 11, he drove into the school building, because he unhappy, no matter how depressed you are someone loves you

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I ment this boy named Zach. He was everything I wanted. Pretty face, made me laugh, football player, the dream guy. But then he started being mean towards me and saying things like I dress like a slut and stuff. I told him I didn't like it. So he dumped me and said he didn't like my attitude. He is still mean towards me and criticizes everything I do. I have to resist to not slap him. Any advice?

here's what i'd do, i'd smack the shit out of him and (depending on if you've had sex before) tell your friends that he's a tiny dicked little asshole and that all girls should stay away from him
*~*shan*~*

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I'm on my period and it hurts like CRAP! I'm dying!!! I rarley get cramps..I usally only get them the first day. And its my first day. So besides taking medicine what can I do to take the pain away? Its killing me! I have church soon so i'm going to go buy tons of chocolate haha. Ohhhh the pain!!! Someone kill me.

girl i know how you feel, the first day of my period i am cramping like you wouldn't believe, what makes me feel better, i take a VERY long hot bath and drink a lot of water and just go about my day trying no to think about the pain. and if that doesn't work i make my mom take me to an all you can eat buffet! hope i helped and good luck with your cramps
*~*shan*~*

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