I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 64989
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I have been trying to eat healthier, so I have been substituting some of my normal snacks for fruits. But when I start eating them, I eat SOOO much fruit! Can eating too much fruit be bad for you in the long run? Like obviously you need fruit in your diet, but if you eat too much all the time can it cause you to gain weight or anything? Thanks in advance! (link)
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As far as I am aware, no it can't cause any long term damage because fruits are filled with antioxidants which help to get rid of toxins in your body that can cause illness.
For example, although it is not a medically recommended treatment, some cancer sufferers (I remember watching a TV Documentary about one young girl on TV quite some time ago)live on purely fruit and vegetable diets, nothing else at all, as there have been rare cases where the cancer has subsequently disappeared after a length of time on this diet. While I would not recommend this to anyone, apparently it is possible.
Really, there is no major downside to eating a lot of fruit. It's considered to be Nature's Bounty for a reason and while consuming large amounts will somewhat loosen your bowel movements, ulitmately, it would be good for you.
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I feel really exhausted and weak, and when I'm not laying down, I feel really bad. My stomach hurts just a little bit, but it isn't that bad, like I can deal with it, it's not bothering me, but my head hurts, and my throat hurts, but only when I swallow. Could this be pre-illness? What's wrong with me and how can I get better? I'm going on vacation in two days and I don't want to feel bad. (link)
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Sounds like you are coming down with a summer cold or the flu. Stomach aches are unfortunately common with most illnesses, especially if you are prone to them already. The best advice I can give for now is that you drink plenty of fluids and rest up so that you can be ready to go on holiday.
However, the exhaustion and weakness, although a fairly normal factor when ill, is a cause for concern. If you are feeling like this after the other symptoms have disappeared, make sure you see someone about it. Ditto if your symptoms worsen in the next 24 hours. Although weakness and tiredness are to be expected at times, they can be symptoms of other illnesses and you might need to get checked out if you don't fully recover.
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hey. at lots of parties i go to these days everyones like, "lets play manhunt!" but we end up not, and i always get tensed up cause i DONT know how to play! and i dont want to ask anyone because they'll be like, "wtf? you dont know how to play MANHUNTT?" so like can you please tell how to play or even a link ? thankss! ♥ (link)
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Hi there!
Okay, I have to be totally honest here and say I had never heard of it myself. However, after a bit of searching on the internet, I managed to find the following website:
http://www.ehow.com/how_310_play-manhunt.html
It sounds as though it is basically hide and seek but on a larger scale and upon being found, the hiders then join in with seeking out those still in hiding.
There were lots of other websites about it but this one had quite simple instructions and I've picked this one because it also offers tips to help you win!
Good luck and when you do get round to playing it, I hope you win!
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I have for some time tried to come up with a way that would be more effective in helping out kids (Middle school/High school age) seek help for things like depression or suicidal tendencies. I know that as of now, the said teenager would have to usually either tell a parent, or tell a school counselor. Having been in that situation myself, I know that it is very hard to do either.
Although I'm young, I've considered this a serious thing to devote my time to, either now, or when I'm older.
Are there any ways that any body can think of that would make help more accessible for teens? Anything you wish could have been done to help you if you were ever in that state of mind? (link)
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I think is a truly admirable idea and I think you should be proud of yourself for even considering it.
When I was at school, I was very badly bullied for two years and that time was hell for me because I had nowhere to go. I was stuck in a class where everyone hated me and I couldn't get away.
I think it would be quite nice to have a specific person in schools or somewhere kids can turn to when they are being bullied. Yes, most schools these days do have school counsellors but you have to make appointments and a lot of the time, they can't do anything but listen. Also, if you can't go to them for some reason, there's no other options. There was no information around at the time about groups you could contact if you wanted help with that sort of thing, so perhaps there's something in that? A support group for victims of bullying or the suchlike?
So, for example, perhaps there could be a 'sign up' box in local schools, where people who want to sign up for the group can put their names and telephone numbers in or they could phone you (or someone else, depending on how you wanted it to work). Then support groups could be arranged on a weekly basis.
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My eye-lashes are extremly long, the problem is they clump together. To prevent this I wear mascara (I don't really need it, I just use it for the latter purpose). Snce my eyelashes are so long, it takes them a good 5 minutes to dry. I can't go with out blinking for 5 minutes so every time I blink it gets all over my face, which is a pain to get get off and ruins the rest of my makeup. My question is... does clear mascara really work? Or does anybody know some really fast fast fast drying mascara? thanks!!! (link)
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I have exactly the same problem! I was using Volume Flash Mascara by Rimmell and because my eyelashes are stupidly long, whenever I blinked it would go under my eye and then if I opened my eye it would go just under my eyebrow!
Yes, clear mascara does work. However, if you have a mascara and don't want to throw it away yet, you could try doing what I do and just hold a piece of tissue where the eyelashes leave marks when you blink. It only needs a few minutes to dry so if you do one eye at a time, it should do the job.
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I really need a better room cleaning strategey. Does anybody have anytips on better ways to clean my room and keep it clean. everything just seems so overwhelming when it gets messy and then I just dont know where to start.
Anything would be helpful. (link)
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The problem with cleaning (especially cleaning a bedroom) is that it's VERY dull to do. So make it fun. I always used to go with the idea previously mentioned, of playing some music to clean up to. There is actually a CD that has been specifically put together for housework called "Housework Songs" and it's full of tunes that you can bop to while cleaning!
I also used to use cleaning as an opportunity to practise my bend and snap! You ever seen the film Legally Blonde? It may seem a little silly at first but when you're bending down to pick up half the clothes you left on your bedroom floor last week, it makes it a little more interesting!
If you don't feel like going the whole hog in one go, or if you want to try to maintain a clean room, try making sure that every time you enter and leave the room, you take at least 5 things that shouldn't be there out or put 5 things that should be there back in.
After all this, create a little schedule for yourself so that you allocate one specific day to mundane tasks like dusting, polishing and vacuming. If you can keep the mess away a little, you will find this takes only a few minutes.
Lastly, you need to find motivation to keep your room tidy. This is ALWAYS the hardest thing. For me, the motivation came from what I wanted my room to be. I looked in an Interior Decoration magazine and I wanted my room to look JUST like one of the pictures because it looked so beautiful and serene. So I cleared everything out of my room, redecorated it and then put the essentials back in. Afterwards, it looked so great that I couldn't BEAR to let it get messy! So if you think that might help, give it a shot.
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Okay well I've been dating this amazing guy for about two weeks now and we get along amazingly well. Not a night has gone by that we haven't talked for at least 3 hours...we text all day...and talk on myspace every day...he is such a sweet guy. We get along and can talk so easily...and I know that he wants a real relationship...So a few nights ago I gave him a handjob...it wasn't planned or anything but it just happened. and he isn't acting weird or anything but I can't help but feel that it was too soon. Yes, I've already talked to him about it and he hugged me and told me that sex was not what our relationship about and he was not going to let this affect us because he cares about me too much.
So...I'm feeling uneasy...what should I do? No more sexual things???
I might feel this way because with my previous boyfriend (dated 9 months) I didn't give him a h/j until we had dated for 5 months...so I don't know... (link)
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It does sound as though perhaps it was too soon. From what you have said, the relationship you have with this guy is already very close on an emotional and spiritual scale and that really is fantastic. However, it's possible that because you are still working on getting to know each other and build that connection, you aren't quite ready for a physical relationship yet.
You have what sounds to me like the start of a very healthy relationship. You care about each other, you have a lot of communication and when you decided you weren't ready for something, he respected that and is willing to wait.
You feel uneasy now but two weeks, two months, or longer down the line, that feeling will fade and you will know when the time is right. For now, try not to worry about it too much or you will miss the special relationship currently going on. Focus on the present right now and make the most of what you have, because it sounds rare and true and special and that is very hard to find these days.
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Alright, so im 15, a female, and i think i might be gay. im still 'exploring' my options, if that makes any sense. but i want to let my friends know that there is a possibility that i could be, but everytime i get close to tellin them, ill start out with something about one of my gay friends, and they are automatically grossed out. how could i hint to them that i could be, without losing their friendship, yet not being to revealing? (link)
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First of all, I have to add to the well done's for your courage in deciding to tell your friends. It must be a very hard step to take and I have a lot of admiration for you for doing this.
Now, unfortunately, if your friends appear to have a problem with homosexuality, there really won't be any way to break it to them in a way that won't provoke an at least very shocked response. To be honest with you, rather than hinting at it, which may put you off telling them at all if they react negatively, it might be better to just tell them straight off.
I'm not saying this is an easy task but from your perspective, if you are concerned about how they may react, it would probably be easier to just do it and get it over and done with. You will still be the same person, with the same personality and the same good heart, regardless of your sexuality and true friends will be able to see that from the start.
They will probably be very unnerved to begin with but please don't take this too personally. Homosexuality is still considered a taboo subject, especially in your age group because a lot of people with tendencies in that direction may use humour and prejudice as a defence mechanism, so give them a chance to digest the information. Tell them there is a chance you might be gay and you don't know yet but you wanted them to know because it's a tough time for you and you need to know they will be there for you while you try to work it out.
I really hope your friends will be understanding. If they are good friends, I'm sure they will but they might need time. Give it to them and it will all work out in the end.
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Well Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year. We really dig each other and all that cool stuff. Anywho we've decided we want to have sex. We're both virgins and it just seems right. I'm not on birth control and i'm a little scared the condom could break and i'd be screwed. I don't want kids and he doesn't either. But I can't get on birth control because of my high blood pressure problem. I really need some help as to what all we could do to prevent from anything bad happening. We've been talking about certain products we could use and so on but I think we could really use some other people's oppinions...Please Help. (link)
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I just wanted to add to what the person before me has said. Spermicides are a good idea but there are condoms that aren't suitable to use with spermicide, as it can affect the latex, giving them a higher chance of breakage.
Condoms should say on the boxes whether or not they are suitable to use with spermicide so as long as you check carefully and ensure the condom is used correctly, you should be okay. However, make sure that you know the contact details for your local family planning clinic or the such, just in case the condom does break, so that you are able to get the Morning After Pill. This must be taken within around 72 hours after you have had sex.
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I know that when anorexic girls, or even guys for that matter, look in the mirror they see that they're large even though they might be smaller than a double zero. But, do they see that when they look at others as well? I mean, when they're walking down the street and see a girl that's like a size three, which is still small, do they think *she needs to stop eating*? Or is that just when they look at themselves?
(link)
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Actually, although they don't perceive them as being overweight, I do have a friend who has suffered from anorexia for a very long period of time (and has been admitted to hospital on at least two occasions as a result). She is still trying to get her life back on track now but although she is an absoloute stick, she still thinks she's fat. The weird thing is, even though I'm at least 3 stone heavier than her, she still believes that I'm thinner than she is. It seems that although they don't exactly see other people as being fat, the way they view themselves means they view other people out of proportion in comparison.
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Is it possable to seperate sex from love and feelings. I really love this guy alot he is my ex boyfriend and i want to have sex with him but i never have because he broke up with me. I want to have sex with him but im afraid that if i do i will only fall for him more and it will only hurt me more (link)
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I wish there was a straight yes or no answer to this question but the truth is that there just isn't.
Personally, yes I think some people can separate sex from love and other such emotions but there are so many different factors involved that can affect the situation. How often you have sex with the guy, what he is like as a person, what you are like as a person and so on. For example, if you had a 'friends with benefits' situation with an attractive, funny and nice guy and had sex with him on a regular basis, it would probably be very difficult to keep yourself from feeling something for that guy.
Speaking absoloutely honestly here, I really don't think that having sex with the ex that dumped you is a good idea. For one thing, if he agreed to it, deep down you would always be wondering if he only agreed because he wanted the sex. It would also be very damaging to your self confidence, knowing that yes, you had sex with him, but he might still not want to have an actual relationship with you.
I don't want to be drawing the wrong conclusion so forgive me if I'm wrong but what I'm reading into this is that you really like this guy and you miss him. You want to have sex with him because you want to feel that same connection with him that you had when you are going out but because you're scared of getting hurt, you want to feel certain you can do it no-strings-attached, with no side effects to you.
I know how much it hurts to be apart from someone you care about but sleeping with him would not be the way to do it. You need to move on and try to get over him and it will be impossible for you to do that if you have sex with him because if you really do love him, there WILL be feelings, whether you want there to be or not and you will get hurt. Please, please, don't lower yourself to this. He broke up with you. Go out there and find someone who will care about you and respect you and make you happier than this guy ever did. It IS possible. Believe me, when you find him, you will be far happier and you will regret ever considering sleeping with your ex.
Don't worry, you will find love again. Just don't give up on it and don't give in to him.
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My boyfriend and i havn't been getting along lately. im also pregnant with his kid. He broke up with my twice over the name. although i told him i dont want to talk about the name until we find out if its a girl or a boy. Also i think he is mad because i dont want to have sex with him because i think the sex is boring and not fun. We fight like every day. he says i talk alot of shit but i dont. he left a mean comment on myspace saying i talk alot of shit. his dad spoils him so he always gets him way. (link)
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This is a difficult time for you both right now, as pregnancy and the prospect of becoming new parents puts a strain on almost every couple, so you need to accept that tensions will be running high right now.
The first issue here is the fighting. You will both have different views on a lot of things to do with your baby. Right now it is the name but this baby has a future in front of him or her and you and your boyfriend will need to make the majority of the decisions. That means that you both need to find a way to compromise. You don't want to talk about the name until you know the baby's gender. Fair enough. He dwants to talk about the name now. That's fair too. If you want to compromise over this issue then you might need to at least bend a little and at least consider a few names, if only to keep the peace. The fact is, he's probably excited about the little boy or girl growing inside you right now and he wants to feel a part of it. It's normal for soon-to-be Fathers to feel left out during pregnancy because they can't feel the sensations you feel and they don't share the closeness with the baby that you have, so you have to give him a little opportunity at least to feel involved in what is going on with this child. If all that means is talking over a couple of possible names then do it.
Now, the issue over the sex. I don't know if what you are feeling is new or if you have been feeling that way for some time, but it's perfectly normal for expectant Mother's to go off sex. I believe (having talked this over with a friend of mine who has a toddler) it is a combination of instincts to protect the baby and the fact that sexual intercourse is primarily for the point of reproduction. After conception, the desire for sex often dissipates because the subconscious need for reproduction has been met.
However, if your feelings towards the sexual side of your relationship have been there for a long time, then it might be that it just needs some work. All couples tend to experience a lull in the bedroom at some point or other and experience a need to 'spice things up'. I can't go too strongly into this but try to liven things up and change your routine. You should find things change.
At the end of the day, the main thing that you need to consider what is best for your unborn child. Yes, a baby should have a Father and a Mother who are together but if the Mother and Father do nothing but fight, this will only a detrimental effect. It is better to have two separated, great parental units, than one parental unit who are miserable. Consider what you want and what the baby needs and then make the best decision for the both of you. If you know in your heart of hearts that your boyfriend isn't the one for you, end it but allow him to be in the baby's life. He may no longer be your partner, but he will ALWAYS be your child's Father.
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Hey, I was wondering if there are any leg work-outs I can do to lose mass around my upper leg area. I have a bike and I go bike riding, I walk a lot but I'm usually in the house during the summer. Don't suggest walking or jogging because I don't like to do that kind of stuff alone and a lot of my friends are busy this summer. I have a pool, so if you know of any good exercises I can do in the pool that would help me lose a lot of the weight in that area by the time school starts, that'd be great. Thanks : ) (link)
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I have actually asked a similar question to my physiotherapist before and they advised me that the best way you can burn fat from the thighs to do squats.
You stand up straight with your feet shoulder width apart, feet flat on the ground and then bend your knees towards the ground, holding your back up straight. The first time you do this, you might want to make sure there is something to support you, as it can be hard to balance.
There are different ways to perform this exercise but I would recommend doing a mixture of both. It also worth bearing in mind squats are most effective when they are a part of an aerobic or other cardiovascular workout.
You can bend your knees until you are quite low and hold for 20 seconds (you may need to build up to this if you are not used to it). Then repeat as often as you feel comfortable. Do NOT keep doing it once it starts to hurt.
You can also do 'pumps'. Basically, these are squats but you start off in the legs bent and bum low to the grnd position and then do small, repetitive but quick pumps. Straighten your knees slightly and then bend again, straighten slightly, bend again and so on. I would recommend you build up to around 25 of these but be warned, they can be very hard to do and if you aren't used to it, it will hurt the next day.
However, as I understand it, these are the best exercises for burning fat on thighs.
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this question is for both boys and girls.Let;s say you really like someone, and she/he is single.Would you still go out with them even though they have had two or three girl/boy friends in the past?or do people prefer girls/guys that haven't been attached before?
For instance, I prefer girls who haven't had a boyfriend before to girls who have. (link)
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I see what you mean, but as you get older you have to accept that everyone you meet will have been attached to someone else at some point. For example, it would be very difficult to be 20 years old and find someone who had never been with anyone else.
My boyfriend, for example, had been with three women before we got together. Now, I won't lie and say that it doesn't bother me a little but it would never have put me off being with him because at the end of the day, everyone has history and as long as it was nothing truly awful, you should never refuse to date someone purely because of something or someone in their past.
I can see the attraction you might see in finding a girl who has never really been with a guy before but you can't restrict yourself only to girls who don't have a history because it will serve only to make life difficult for yourself. Bottom line, if you like someone and they like you too you should go for it and forget the past.
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i'm a female, 15. and i have some girl friends around my same age that have already lost their virginity. me and my boyfriend almost had sex too but i said no.. but i think the only reason was because i know he's had sex before w/ this other girl and that kind of made me uncomfortable for different reasons. how do i know when i'm completely ready for sex? and how long is a good time to wait to have sex with my boyfriend? and is 15 way to young to lose your virginity? and wow that was a lot of questions :) haha thanks. (link)
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To be totally honest, in my personal opinion, yes, 15 is too young to be having sex. The law states that it is illegal (in most places) to have sex under the age of 16.
However, in addition to this I would have to say that a couple should never have sex unless they are certain they could handle the consequences. Yes, sex is fun but the primary reason humans have sexual intercourse is to reproduce and whatever contraception you use, there is ALWAYS a chance of conceiving. Therefore, my rule of thumb when advising people about what age is suitable or when they should have sex is that it should always be over the age of 16, when you feel comfortable in a relationship and could cope with a baby should a mistake occur.
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I want to see a scary with my friend (both 14/f) I'll probably rent, because most movies that are out right now i've seen (the only one i can think of is Lady In the Water)
Two Questions
**Are there any other scary/horror movies playing right now
**If not, what are some good ones that you can rent? (link)
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The two most absoloutely terrifying films I have ever seen are The Ring and The Grudge.
The Ring is one that you should watch on a very small TV set (you will see why if you have never seen it before) and plan on not sleeping for the rest of the night. I was either 18 or 19 when I saw it and I had to sleep at my boyfriend's house that night because I was too scared to sleep alone!
The Grudge is horrific and again, if you plan on watching it, you should expect not to sleep the rest of the night. It scared the bejeesus out of me!!
If you want to go for a more sedate horror, the Scream trilogy is scary in a less "Oh-my-God-I'll-never-sleep-again type way. If you want to go for the classics, Poltergeist, The Exorcist (the first one is the scariest) and supposedly The Omen (the original one, don't bother with the remake) are good.
Personally, one film that has always terrified me but will undoubtedly have everyone in sitches knowing that....is Watership Down. If you have never seen it before, technically it's a children's film about rabbits but I still can't watch it now and I'm 21! It gives me nightmares!!!
Now for the parental bit: Please bear in mind that you're 14 and the majority of horror films are rated at 15 or 18. I can't lecture too strongly because I saw all sorts of films I wasn't old enough for but please remember that some of the content is considered to be unsuitable for viewing for your age group.
Lecture over!
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okay I really like this boy but, I can't describe what I feel for him... Is it love? or just a 13 year old's crush?
TY in advance Jeni Lots Of love (link)
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To be honest, I don't think there is anyone who could tell you. I know that doesn't really help, sorry about that but it's the truth.
You know, when I was 12/13, I truly believed I was in love with this guy I was at school with and when things went a little awry and I knew I would never get to see him again, I was totally crushed. Then, I met the guy I'm with now and let me tell you, you know when you're in love because there is nothing in the world that compares to the intensity of the feeling and feeling as I do about him made me realise that I had never REALLY been in love before.
What I'm saying is that although it is possible to love when you are 13 years old, when it is 'true' love, you will know it and you won't need to ask anyone. However, that doesn't mean you can't make the most of what you feel for this guy now and my advice ALWAYS is that if you really like a guy and he's single, go for it. You never know when the window of opportunity will close and even if you do get rejected, that will be a lot better than years of wondering 'What if'?
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when people answer other people's questions with: go ask the doctor, isn't that kind of redundant? who goes all the way to the doctor's office to ask one little question anyway? what do they mean? just ask the doctor over the phone? what if your doctor is actually a pediatrician and might think you're a hypochondriac? i have tons of questions to ask my "doctor." i can't go ask every single time. write down the questions and ask the doctor the next time you visit for something semi-more important? (link)
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To be honest, no it isn't redundant, although I can understand why you might think it is.
The truth is that, as has already been said, the majority of the users of this site are young and would not be able to provide the sort of advice that you would be able to get at your doctor.
You also have to bear in mind that it is highly unlikely that there are any qualified medical practitioners on the website and therefore it will be impossible to provide a professional, accurate diagnosis.
The rule of thumb where concerns over health are concerned is that if there is a troubling issue, you should ALWAYS speak to a medical practitioner regarding it and if that means making an appointment so be it. That's what they're there for.
I have a number of health issues so in answer to your comment about writing down questions...yes! By all means do it. If you have some health issues you need to discuss then get it all over with in one go. Most surgeries will allow you to book double appointments if there are a number of topics you need to discuss so if it helps to write them all down then do so and if they think you are a hypochondriac then let them think that. They still have to treat you as any other patient and if you don't go, you could end up suffering more because you didn't seek advice from a professional soon enough.
Where health is concerned, you can NEVER be too careful.
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my eyes are weird. one of them is a little higher than the other and both of them are a little close together. my brother said that i wrong saying that was because i spend too much time on the computer (like 5+ hours w/o breaks). he says that too much computer time only causes nearsightedness/farsightedness/alter in 20/20 vision which i used to have. :( i have slightly worse eyesight now but dont wear contacts b/c of my horrible allergies. i dont like glasses. he says reading books/etc w/o much light does this. (link)
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Actually, in contradiction to what has been already said, your brother is partly right but not entirely.
Yes, working on a computer for many hours a day without breaks and reading, etc with low light levels can cause eyesight to worsen. However, it will affect facial structure in any way. For example, I have been working at a computer 35 hours per week, then coming home and being sat at my own PC for a number of hours each day for at least 3 and a half years. As a result of this, I have slowly become slightly long sighted (meaning I can see things better when they are at a distance). However, the actual structure of my face has not altered.
The description of your face actually sounds perfectly normal. Nobody's face is perfectly symmetrical and although you would have to look quite closely, there are pretty obvious differences in most people. For example, after studying my face for (far too many) hours in the mirror, I can see that my right eye is slightly bigger and the eyelid droops a tiny bit. On looking at photos of myself from years before computers were a common household feature, I can see that has always been the case.
Unfortunately, there really is very little you can do about it but please accept that it is normal and the only person who is ever likely to notice it is you and only then because you are looking for it.
The only other thing I will say is that if you spend a lot of time infront of your PC, you should be having your eyes tested on average every one to two years. If they feel you should wear glasses, however much you may not like them, you need to wear them. The chances are that without realising it, your eyes are being strained by focusing on the PC for so long and this will eventually cause your eyesight to deteriorate very gradually overtime, possibly without you realising it. However, wearing the correct glasses, even if only when sat at the PC, will help to prevent your eyesight from worsening and it will make your eyes feel more comfortable when using the PC, so please do consider it. Glasses may not always be attractive, but they serve a purpose and that is a lot more important.
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Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and at the beginning of the month, he broke up with me, and he said we needed a break. We were broken up for two weeks and then FINALLY we started to go back out. Now, yesterday, he told me that maybe our break wasn't long enough. He told me that we just needed to be friends for a least a month and that he loves me, but I'm not sure he does. How can he keep hurting me like this and still love me? A month is a long break, I just don't know what to do. But, Please help me out. (link)
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Did you know that the average length of time for a long-term relationship to last these days is 2 years? A lot of younger people especially in relationships find that at the end of their first two years together, they hit a 'rut' and a lot of relationships don't survive it.
Having been through this myself, I can assure you that yes, it is a very difficult time but you CAN work through it, as long as both people are willing to make the effort.
Judging from your boyfriend's actions, it seems he lacks the commitment required to cope with the rut, which is not great at all for you, because he keeps trying to make you wait for him while he gets his space.
Space isn't always a bad thing. Lots of couples take breaks and find they realise the strength of their feelings for each other as a result. However, my suspicion is that this is rare and in cases where a partner insists on taking repeated 'breaks' in a relationship, sadly, it suggests that they may not be happy in the relationship but are scared to finalise the end of it.
I'm SO sorry that your boyfriend has been acting this way towards you. After two years, it sounds as though you have grown to truly care about him a lot and now he keeps basically messing you around, with hopes of getting back together which he then dashes vefore they get truly realised. You need to put a stop to this, because it's pretty clear to me that this isn't the guy for you, however much he might feel like it.
Ask yourself this, even if he does care about you, why would he need to take a break in the first place? Better yet, ask him because I think you have a right to know. Whatever the answer, I think you need to stand up for yourself here because he's not finalising the end of your relationship. Instead, he just keeps you waiting for him while he goes off and does....what exactly? You need to get answers. Try and meet up with him and calmly talk about it. Ask him why it is that he feels he needs these 'breaks'. Either he wants to be with you or he doesn't and it's unreasonable of him to keep you waiting while he tries to make up his mind. I know you care about him but you need to tell him once and for all, if he doesn't want to be with you, then he needs to tell you and end it once and for all because if he does feel that way, you owe it to yourself to go back out there and find someone who will give you the love you deserve.
There is a guy for you out there who is sensitive and loving and caring and when you meet him, there will be no 'taking breaks' or 'temporary splits' because he won't NEED them. You sound like a really nice girl and I'm sure you won't have any trouble finding someone but please don't let a guy treat you this way because you should never waste your time with someone who can't make up his mind what he wants.
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