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20,f
I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. We had been fighting a lot in the past month and he hasn't been the same since. Then yesterday he said he loves me,but he doesn't know what he wants and he can't be with me right now. We were together for 3 years. I am studying medicine and I am extremely busy,yet I still made a lot of time for him. I gave all my love,support,I always listened to him and offered my help,I was 100% loyal and devoted. He is younger than me and will get to college this year. I know the amount of pressure he's under. I had it a lot worse in my senior year in high school but I never let him suffer because of that. So I end up giving it all and I get this. And it's always been like this for me. I am no doll when it comes to appearances,but I am a good,loyal girlfriend. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. What was my mistake? I realized that no matter what I do I will just get hurt. The sooner I accept nobody wants me,the better I guess. (link)
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Just because a guy broke up with you doesn't mean that nobody wants you. That's a stupid way of thinking.
My ex of over two years broke up with me a few months ago. It was an awful experience. It was for the same reason you and your boyfriend broke up. He said he loves me but doesn't know what he wants and he's also under a lot of pressure from school.
The thing is, people deal with things differently. Not everyone is going to handle stress the same way you do.
I think the best thing to do is give it some time. Maybe a short break will give him time to realize he misses you and he made a mistake. In about a week, just talk to him face to face and let him know you want this to work. That you'll be supportive during his stressful times and won't make him even more stressed with fighting.
You don't need to blame him or call him out on what he's doing wrong. He'll end up getting defensive. Find a good way to express your feelings to him.
One more thing, each person you date will hurt you. You'll even hurt them, even if it's no intentional. So I guess you just gotta make sure that person is worth getting hurt for. Just some people make it through and some don't.
Pick yourself up, take care of yourself and I'm sure things will work out.
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Several months ago I started seeing this really amazing guy. We are both in college; he is graduating in a few days and moving away for work. His job is 6 hours away (driving), but less than an hour by plane and tickets are very cheap.
He doesn't believe that a long distance relationship will work, and wants to become "just friends" when he moves. His job relocates every 2 years or so and he may eventually return to my city, but I'm scared that he will lose interest in me (as a friend and otherwise) in that time.
What should I do? (link)
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Long distance relationships are tough but can work if both people are willing to put in the effort.
It sounds like he doesn't want to put in the effort. And you can't make someone want to be with you.
I think you should sit down and have a talk with him. Talk about what you want and how you both can make it work. If he doesn't want it, just let it go.
I don't think you should continue to keep dating him until he leaves, I think that's pointless as you guys are planning on being just friends. So if he doesn't want this, then just end it now.
You guys just might see things differently and some people just aren't cut out for long distance. It just sounds like he's not willing to put in the effort so you might just want to move on.
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Okay, so here it is. I have a crush on this guy since I graduated from highschool and I'm in college now, so that's like, two years. The crazy thing is he does not have any idea I have a crush on him. We haven't even exchanged few words from each other. I mean, how did I even have a crush on him? Anyway, I still stalk him on Facebook. I know, I'm such a creep. I want to somehow let him know, you know, about how I feel. I am planning of sending him a message on Facebook. But, I don't know. Should I send him or should I not? I really need an advice. Please.
I am 18 and I'm female. (link)
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I think you should send him a message. It can just be a hi how are you kind of message and see where that goes.
I think taking chances is a good idea. You never know unless you try.
Even if it doesn't turn out to be something more, like maybe he's not exactly what you're looking for or something, he might end up being a good friend.
So just take a chance and start off as friends and see if it goes anywhere. I think it might be worth it.
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How do you know wether to walk away from your relationship or to keep trying?? I spent a year and 4 months with him but I don't know what I want or what to do.. (link)
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I don't have any idea of what is going in your relationship.
But in general, I guess when you're not happy and it can't be fixed, then you walk away.
If there are problems going on that you can fix, then fix them. If whatever is happening can't be fixed, then walk away.
Communication is very important as well.
It's hard to give advice when you don't the situation so this is just a general idea.
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im 13 and ive been going out with my boyfriend for 7 months and i love him but ive also liked 1 of my guy friends for a while and my boyfriend even said our relationship is getting boring and ive relized that my guy friend likes me to but i dont know who to choose (link)
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When someone is confused between two or three people, I normally say take a step back away from both and figure out who you really want to be friend.
This isn't something that should be an impulse decision because you can easily regret it.
So take a break from your boyfriend. Spend some time away from your guy friend.
Write down what you're looking for in a guy. See if these guys match that.
If in the end you decide to go after your guy friend, then that's fine.
If you decide to stay with your current boyfriend, then that's fine too. Although if you're relationship is getting boring, then try doing new things. Like going out and trying new activities to keep your relationship exciting and fun. If you guys really love each other, you'll make it work.
Don't stress out over this too much. You're only 13 and will probably end up dating more guys in your future. Most girls won't end up with the guys they were dating in high school since people change as they get older.
So don't rush it. Just take some time to figure out what you need and what you want.
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18 F
I've been battling depression for about a year now and i think I've been getting better but every once and a while I have a relapse. The other night I had a break down and I started cutting again and it got bad. I've now got a whole load of scars that weren't there before. I have also been dating my boyfriend for two months now but for the past two weeks he has been on vacation and now he gets back in four days and I don't know what I'm going to do. He's only seen the old marks which had faded decently and he thinks I'm better. How am I suppose to explain these marks to him?! He's going to be discusted with me and hate me for how pathetic and weak I am. I don't know what to do and I'll know he'll see them and hate me. I don't want I lose him over my weakness. Someone please help :(
And yes I have seen a doctor and therapy so please no lectures about going to the doctor and taking pills blah blah cuz they don't work. And none have worked for the past six months (link)
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Ok well sounds like you need to go back to therapy. Like adviceman said, it takes time and if those pills weren't working, there are others that can help. Obviously what you are doing right now isn't doing any better for yourself so you might as well try again.
Listen to adviceman on that part because he's more knowledgeable in that area.
Now as for your boyfriend, if he's going to be disgusted with you, hate you and think you're pathetic and weak, it sounds like you picked a crappy boyfriend. I would NEVER date someone who would think of me in that way because of a problem with cutting. I would want someone who would support me, love me and encourage me to get better.
If this is how he will react to that, you need to dump him.
If this is just you over reacting and he won't react that way, then just talk to him, tell him how you feel, be honest and get some help.
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Ok...so basically I've always had a big crush on my best friend. She's just beautiful and kind in every way and deserves the best and I hate to see her hurt. I wish I could make her happy, but I've pretty much accepted she can't like me because of the gender I was born. She very recently told me she is now dating my best friend, who I dated for a very brief time and just became friends. I think that's fine and dandy but it feels weird to me. He actually acts different around her, kinda mean and grabby and actually yells at me around her. She acts the same. I want to be happy for them, but I am not, and I know he will hurt her like he did to a few of my other friends. He enjoys being a self proclaimed 'whore' and gets tired of someone after a month or so. She acts like she hates him half the time and gets annoyed but at the same time likes them...I don't care what they do as long as they are safe. So why does it feel so weird to me? (link)
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It's hard to see friends date someone who might not be the right person for them. You see things that they might not see because they like them so much.
I would say sit down and talk to her, but it might just be best to back out and not get involved in their relationship. I wouldn't want to be friends with a guy who yells at you and is mean so you might want to back out of there as well.
The most you can do is be there for her when he does hurt you. You don't want to see it happen but you can't really change her choices. So just be the good friend and be there for her when she needs you to be.
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I am a fifteen year old girl, I am 5'4" and I weigh 112.6. I really need to lose some weight, I was thinking 10 pounds. I just feel so fat. I want a toned body, as well as a flat stomach. Any suggestions? (link)
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I don't think you should be striving to lose weight. I think you should be trying to get in shape. Because your height and weight is normal for your age. So if you're feeling fat, you should just try to be taking care of yourself and building muscle instead of trying to lose weight.
Like adviceman said, you can lose weight but you'll end up feeling the same way.
So since you want a flat stomach, do exercises that are specifically meant to tone your stomach. You can google some and if you keep doing it, you'll be happy in your results. Besides that, eat right, try not to drink a lot of soda, or eat chips, candy, ect. And drink lots of water.
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I am a 20 year old university student. My first year I had quite a few friends but a few of them left and the rest of the group just split. I sit in lectures alone and just leave campus early so I don't have to sit by myself. I never had this problem in school, I was actually quite popular, none of my friends from high school go to the university that I go to, and this is really beginning to affect me. I'm not a socially awkward person, I actually hold a conversation really well, the problem is, my campus is so huge that if you speak to a person you're most likely never going to see them again. I am in a four year relationship, and I'm becoming afraid as I realize my need for company is suffocating him. I'm often jealous at the amount of acquaintances that he is. I guess my question is, how do I cope with this situation? How do i begin to feel better about myself? (link)
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I agree with Dragonflymagic on looking for friends outside of school. Join clubs or activities you'd enjoy and you'll meet people with the same interests and eventually make some new friends.
You can also start trying to talk to some people in your classes. You'll end up seeing them again and it might be nice to have some people to sit with in class.
It takes awhile to build friendships so don't expect it to happen overnight and don't give up if the first person you talk to doesn't seem that interested.
Just put yourself out there and you'll make some friends.
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Hi, I'm 17, female, and a kinda past love of mine is coming to visit soon, I haven't seen him in two years. While he's here I want to get him to fall in love with me? Any tips? (link)
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You can't actually make someone fall in love with you.
So I think the only thing you can do is be yourself and remind him of the good times you guys had. Be friendly, be happy and have a good time and enjoy the time you get to spend with him.
If it's meant to be, it'll happen. If for some reason he doesn't feel the connection, there's nothing you can do to fix that.
So pretty much be happy, be friendly, look extra pretty, and just remind him of the good times you two have had.
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Everytime when i want to make one step forward HE comes from somewhere and just with 1 look in his eyes everything comes back, our history our things that will never happen again. He was my first love and i'm afraid if i can forget him cause it takes long time ago when we were WE. I want to forget him and treat him the same way he treated me, maybe then he will understand how much it hurts. I just wanted a little fairytale with happy ending, but now i'm afraid to believe in boys. I need courage that everything will be alright! (link)
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First loves aren't always true loves.
You just need to take a step back. Realize that he wasn't the one, and move forward.
What you had with him was great, but now it's memories and you don't need to hate him or be bitter for whatever happened and you need to do yourself a favor and move on.
Don't keep talking to him, don't text call or be friends with him on any social media.
Go out and meet guys, enjoy yourself and do things you love to do.
Just because a guy hurt you doesn't mean you have to stop believing in guys. You definitely won't find love that way. Keep your chin up and find someone better.
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First, let me tell you a little about my dream. I found out from my mother that I was pregnant, and that I was going to have an abortion.
I looked it up and it said that it could be a sign that I'm pregnant. I never once have had sex. I am a teenager and have never done such things.. Anyways, I've been really worried lately (I guess I just let my anxiety get the best of me) that I'm pregnant. I can't remember when the last time I got my period was. Even though I've never done any sexual activities, I'm just scared that I'm somehow someway pregnant. Is that why I had this dream? Because I've been thinking about it so much? (link)
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You can't get pregnant without having sex.
You should study up on that stuff.
Anyways, like the others said, it was probably because your sister is having a baby soon.
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So all I see in my school these days are relationships, in all grades lower then mine and I still don't have a gf. What would be an average age for kid, or teens, or basically anybody to start a relationship or be in one as a boyfriend or girlfriend? (link)
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A lot of teenagers start dating early just because it's the cool thing to do or like everyone is dating.
Dating early on, like 14/15/16, is kinda young because most aren't exactly mature enough to handle it. Most of the time it's just hanging out at school, holding hands and all that. Plus, most relationships don't last that long anyways when you're young since you're still learning a lot and growing up.
Plus guys are going through puberty and a lot are just going for one thing. Not all, but definitely most.
So I'd say older teen years would be good to start dating. I mean by that time it's not super awkward and you'll learn what you're really looking for in someone rather than just dating because they're cute.
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This guy likes me and he is cool but I am attracted to his brothers appearance. I never talked to his brother, only to the guy that likes me. Should I get over his brother and try to talk to this guy or just stop talking to him? (link)
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I think you should get to know both of them.
You might be attracted to his brother but when you get to know him, you might not like him all that much or really have much in common to be able to date each other. Or maybe you guys will get along great. And just because his brother likes you, doesn't mean you have to write this guy off.
As for him. I think you should talk to him, get to know him. Maybe you will end up having lots of thing in common and maybe start liking him once you get to know him. If not, then you get a new friend out of this. Just don't lead him on.
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I'm almost 17 and he's 15. one day he just comes out and says that he likes me and I didn't know how to tell him I didn't like him back so I kinda just went along with it but then he asked me out and I said I wasn't ready to go out or have a boyfriend. All of a sudden I have some feelings for him that I've never had before and he doesn't talk to me much. I don't know what to do??? I kinda like him but don't know if he still likes me or not. (link)
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Definitely talk to him again. Try to be friends again and put effort in.
His feelings were probably hurt because you rejected him and that's normal. So he was probably trying to move on.
So just talk to him again and see if anything is still there between you two. If there is, tell him that you like him.
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My friend is in a relationship. The guy she is dating is telling people that they are just friends but I know that they arent. He asked her to be his girlfriend and I witnessed this happen. Should I tell her that he is telling people they arent dating or not? Age: 16 (link)
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I'd say talk to him first. You don't know what his reasons are and he may just be new to relationships.
Who knows, maybe he's just a player but it's best to know your information.
But in the end, don't keep this from her. Although you should not be involved in their relationship, you are her friend and you owe her this.
As soon as you tell her, back out and let her handle it and make her own choices. If she chooses to talk to him and work things out, then let her. If she chooses to end the relationship, then just be there for her.
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20/f
I've hardly had any friends because I didn't want to be anybody's slave,so to speak. I've always been called ugly just because I'm not skinny and I don't wear make-up (I put eyeshadow and mascara on sometimes) and because I don't have money for branded clothes. I've always been called a nerd because I liked to study and have all A's and thanks to that now I'm studying medicine. I'm labeled as boring because I don't go partying every weekend,getting drunk and having sex with many guys. Nobody wants to get to know me,they all judge either on what they see or what they hear about me. No matter what I try no guy will notice me. It's like I'm invisible. And the most hated person in the world. How to be confident and have self worth when your life is like this? I don't wanna stop living,even though it had crossed my mind. I can't exactly talk to anyone about this because they think I'm being a drama queen. Nobody takes into account how I really feel. (link)
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I think you're just surrounding yourself with the wrong people.
You have some self worth and confidence because you said you liked to study and you're now studying medicine. That's a great thing to be proud of.
Honestly, you're just really busy caring about what people think of you and you define yourself of what they think. It really only matters what you think.
So if you think you're overweight, start working out. You don't need to have a lot of money to dress nice. I have really nice looking clothes that were extremely cheap and not name brand.
As for being called a nerd and boring, that's just you hanging around the wrong people and talking to the wrong people.
Like adviceman said, I think you should join clubs or different activities that you'd enjoy so that you can make friends with people who share the same interests as you. You'll make new friends.
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I'm driving myself litterally inane someone please help 16/f I overreact idk is it normal for your boyfriend to talk to other girls as friends and hangout with them on weekends if he's with his friends and his friends invite the girls? Or if he tweets them and was like had a great day wih you guys. I'm just such an over thinker and it's because I love him so much and we are very serious with each other. Also is it true that the newness of a relationship wears off after a couple months ? My mom said it did numerous times like all of the lovey dovey things wear off some because of getting used to each other please help me please thank you I do give stars (link)
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Yes, it's normal for your boyfriend to talk to other girls and hang out with them as friends.
Yes, your mom is right. The butterflies go away after awhile. But that doesn't mean you guys stop liking each other and all that.
You're still learning about relationships. So it's ok to not know what's ok and what's not ok.
He's allowed to be friends with girls and talk to them as a friends. Just like you're allowed to talk to boys and be friends with them. There is nothing wrong with that at all.
A lot of girls struggle with this because of jealousy and insecurity. It eventually ruins the relationship.
So don't keep overthinking it. Just accept that he will be friends with girls and you have no control over that area of his life. As long as he is faithful to you, everything is fine.
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Hi everyone,I'm 16/f.
There's a boy in my history class who I really like. He is just perfect for me. He's taller than me(I'm 5'9), has a loving family, is athletic, has a life outside of his sport, he's gentle, a good son, a good brother, soft spoken, has a really deep voice, has a lot of patience, very mature, I can go on and on.
My point is, he's a gentleman. VERY rare at our age. And I like him. I've always looked for boys like him to get to know. I didn't even notice he was in my class until he stood up to present a project one day. And then on a class field trip a while later, we had a gorgeous conversation on the bus, followed by an in sync nap. Also he accepted this girls flirting all day, and she walked with him when I was trying to talk to him. But either way all negativity aside, since that day, I just couldn't get enough. Months later, there were days when my history teacher was absent, and I somehow spent both periods talking to him. Then I started talking to him on Facebook, a few weeks later. Eventually(after 2months)he answered more frequently (from a MONTH later to a few hours layers to a few minutes later) & about a month ago, he asked for my number since it was easier for him to answer me there than on Facebook. (I was crying I was so happy) and for the whole spring break, we were talking all day every day, him texting me first, & throughout that time texting, he was flirting a lot, but it could have been taken as something else most of the time.
For example, he would give me really cute nicknames as he said good morning & good night, he would ask me questions like "describe your perfect relationship" (says aww to my description, then says everything I missed), he basically described me when I asked him what type of girls he likes & he comforted me one day when I was mad, saying "I'm always here" afterwords. He was just so sweet the whole time. He never suggested anything that had to do with sex, unless I asked him about it ( I asked what his favorite body parts were and what type of legs he liked and again, he described my legs) & he wouldn't object to changing the subject back to normal afterwords, unlike other boys I've talked to. I told him once that I haven't found a mutual liking with someone & he mentioned that maybe he already had, then he said "maybe one day we'll find it" (what does that mean?) & it had my head spinning every time he said something like that. He would call me "awesome" and said that he would miss me if I moved, use witty little lines on me, never tried too hard but still he was very subtle.
We agreed that he would tell me a story about the girl that he used to go out with & he insisted on telling me this as soon as possible for some reason. When I was going to go meet him so he could tell me, the same girl from the trip was keeping me from going over there, (I didn't want to ditch her and be rude) & he was asking me "are you coming outside or not" (it sounded like he was eager, but then he goes and does this...) Then I explained to him that I've been there, but I didn't want to be rude. I found a way to position myself and the girl where he could see us, front and center. This girl is also in our class, and he knows her for a while longer than he knows me so when he comes up to us, he starts flirting with her immediately. She flirts back (of course -.-, she's one of those.) She has a boyfriend. I'm not sure if he is aware. So this makes me extremely uncomfortable, considering. We were looking at each other this whole time, so I tried to show him with my face that this might be a bad time, but my face didn't say that, it looked at him as if I was sad and confused that he was paying attention to her & not me (exactly how I was feeling, but not what I meant to do at all) so he stopped & came to me and properly greeted me. I smiled & the girl got the idea & started walking farther in front of us, and soon we were alone and she was getting her face sucked. He tells me the story as normal, we flirt and giggle and I admire him as he talks. I notice he's a bit nervous... But he never gets to finish, so we plan another day later, & he asks me if he could call me to tell me, but I say no because I want an excuse to stare at him. So when this day comes, I watch him play, (this is outside by the way) and I'm waiting for the bell to ring so he could talk to me. It when the bell rings he's still playing. I get up, a little sad since this time he wasn't texting me, he was absorbed in the game. So as I leave, I feel a hand on my shoulder, it's him of course. I give a huge smile (can't help myself) and he continues where he left off. I can't help but notice he's a little antsy and nervous as he talks this time too. He tells me about this teddy bear that he gave that ex, and he says he has it now because her parents didn't like him so she had to give it back (don't understand why) So he's talking, and a bunch of people notice us in the halls walking together, and a handful of my stupid friends make things very awkward. Pointing and giggling at us, saying "ohhhhhhhhhhhh that's him" quietly but obviously, staring at him, & one friend even went as far as to say "hey, I know you like her because she's beautiful and everything, but you'll never get that" and I wouldn't dare to look at him so I couldn't tell you his reaction, all I know is he kept talking, while I struggled to listen and respond.(I swear, I want to listen to what he's saying with my FULL attention, but he's just so gorgeous sometimes I can't believe he's talking to me.) anyway, when we said goodbye, I think I caught a glimpse of him leaning closer to hug me, but I quickly turned away. I'm not ready for all of those eyes looking at us yet. Then again I'm not sure he did.
After that, we have been talking during and after lunch, and although I don't sit with him, I see a lot of him. We talk in the line, outside, and walk each other to class. We still text every day, there have only been about 2 days in total that we haven't been in contact with each other. But the thing is he answers and then stops, and goes back and forth a lot, he's always doing something, so I don't mind too much anymore
Another thing: he and I both call each other little names. He started it by giving me a nickname, and it was different every day, there are many nicks for my name, but not for his. So one day I just started calling him things like sugar plum, sweetie things like that, and he called me hun one time, my lady another time, and missy. But those aren't affectionate names, just hun. (I was jumping up and down at that by the way)
I told him that I got him something one day (a paper of his I magically ended up with) and I gave him three guesses. He guessed a poem, a baseball, and something else I can't remember. So I told him okay then I'll write you poem, because it sounded like he wanted me to write him one (this was when I knew that he knew I liked him) and I gave it to him the next day. He told me he was going to write one, and I'm supposed to get it tomorrow at lunch lol
Yesterday, I called him on accident with the worst timing. Me and my friends were talking about him, about how people that have light skin usually tend to like people with darker skin and vice versa. He picked up, and he heard everything. So I called him back, and he told me what he heard, and we would have kept talking, but he thought I hung up because he couldn't hear me, so he hung up. We just texted (a lot of flirting) after that.
So my question is that I don't know if this kid likes me back! He's so confusing, he flirts in my face with that girl (which is really nothing by the way, it's just a little confusing that's all) and then texts me when we get home and treats me like a princess.
*By the way, if it sounds like I'm jealous of that one girl, I'm really not. I used to be, but I stopped being dumb. I just wanted to illustrate my frustration with her cockblocking.*
I want to thank anyone who got this far in advance. If you think I don't want to read extremely long answers, you're terribly wrong :) you reap what you sow right? ^_^ (link)
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You've asked this question before on here.
I'm still going with that he's interested in you, and most likely likes you as more than a friend.
Maybe he's attracted to the other girl too. Who knows, but I'm almost sure of it that he likes you.
So you should totally go for this. He seems like a great guy.
You can tell him how you feel..or just wait around for him but who knows if he'll ever have the guts to say it. So I think you should take a chance and ask him if he has feelings for you or tell him that you're starting to like him as more than a friend and see what he says.
I hope it all works out!
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Alrighty so I'm a junior (17 and a girl) in high school and I previously attended another high school for about 2 and a half years, but recently transferred into this new school. I've been in the school for about 4 months or so and haven't gotten too involved into social circles because I'm a pretty shy person... So, here comes the problem, I have this huge crush on a guy in one of my classes. I don't know too much about him, but from what I've seen he seems like a very laid-back, funny person. I noticed that we make frequent eye contact multiple times throughout the class. I try smiling at him to leave a good impression, but he usually gets flustered and walks away. Occasionally we make off-handed good-humored comments about each other (to each other) and I always find that we usually end up very close together even if we don't talk. We always end up paired up, using each other's equipment, or just general situations where we get stuck together. Now, I'm a bit helpless because I really like him but I don't have the confidence to actually start up conversations. I also have two friends (who are guys) who I'm very friendly with (physically- hugging, etc) in the class as well and I've noticed my crush always looks upset when I'm with them. What should I do? (link)
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It seems like he might be interested.
I'd definitely say go for it. I mean if you never try, you'll never know. It seems like he's kinda shy too, at least around you so if he doesn't make a move, go for it.
I say build the confidence to start talking to him more. If he responds well, then that's a great sign and then you can go from there!
Good luck!
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