TheTeenGirl's advice column

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Q: okayy .. so me and my boyfriend are coming up on our 4 month anniversary .. and he's alot more attentive then he usually is .. askin me to hang out a lot more than usual, callin, sayin he loves me more .. like maybe he did somethin wrong? am i over reacting .. but i still have a small doubt about the girl he dumped me for last time .. does he still like her?

well her info has a convorsation between them sayin how he fuckin loves her, and thats all there is to it .. and i understand she put it there cuz shes friends with him (shes in COMPLETE love with her boyfriend, moving in together, forever kinda love). but i dont know what he feels. and his friends say i bitch to him about her .. so i dont wanna bug him .. but he never just in random convorstaion tells me he fuckin loves me and thats all there is to it .. but he says that stuff to her .. and im his girlfriend ..

am i being jealous .. am i overreacting .. do i let it go .. help me please ..

i dont wanna be that annoying girlfriend.

Your boyfriend is being an idiot. I know that may hurt your feelings, but if he's telling another girl that he loves her, then what are you and him?

Saying I Love You is meant for actually being in love, not as friends, not anything else. If you tell everyone else that you love them, then it's not going to mean anything to your boyfriend. Kissing is meant for someone you are with, not a friend. If you are going to treat everyone else the way you treat your own girlfriend, then the only thing you have is a 'girlfriend' label.

Not only is this another girl, but it's his Ex-Girlfriend and that makes everything about ten times worse. My suggestion to you is to end things with him, I think that he still has feelings for this previous girl and that if you ever want to consider him a boyfriend again, wait until you know for sure that he's over this girl and that he will devote all of his love toward YOU and not anyone else.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Hey. I need some advice. really. I honestly dont know what to do. Here is my story of A friendship mysteriously gone with the wind.

I am bestfriends with a girl named sam and amanda. Alecia is also my friend.

One morning while i was getting ready for school sam had come over and said "Annie we need to talk somthing happened between me and amanda"
I said Okay. Sam usually goes to amandas class room before school because her mom is a teacher. Amanda had told sam that she felt "there friendship was slipping away and that sam shouldnt come early in the morning to her classroom anymore." I was a little confused but i blew it off. I figured i'd talk to amanda. So the next day Me and Sam sat down at our regular table with Alecia, Amanda, Ellen, Kayla, and Falicia. When we were done eating we walked out (just me and Sam). We walked by a corner and Alecia and "the gang" (amanda ellen kayla kandace and falicia). The gang walked off and alecia talked to me and sam. she said "Hi um we were all wondering why you guys were sitting at the table." i said "What?" alecia said "didnt sam tell you?" (i played dumb and said,) "no what did sam need to tell me" and alecia told me about the whole amanda situation and that "She did not want to be friends" I said "well if thats what amanda wants then i think i should talk to her, it doesnt seem like her to do that" and alecia says "Well amanda isnt rude like that so she told me to tell you" then everyone walks over and i say "Amanda whats going on?" Amanda says, "I just dont like the way you guys act around eachother [me and sam]" alecia says "Yeah sam i dont want to be friends with someone who always acts stupid and you guys talk about sick things" amanda says, "Yea sam you never used to act this way and neither did you annie" and the convo goes on and on. Well anyways. Ever since Sam and I have become really good bestfriends amanda has gotten really jelous. I honestly dont give a rats tail about alecia because shes really cold hearted and im not sure i liked her in the first place. But what do you think? I might call her but i dont know. HELP please!

Well, I think it's great that you and Sam took all of this time to only get closer as friends instead of stirring things up with the rest of your gang.

As for now, keep that friendship with her going. Amanda is the one who decided that you both weren't her friends so if she's too unhappy without you both, she can come to you guys and say something about it. Not you.

I'm not sure what it is that made her decide to do this, but at this point it probably shouldn't matter. Maybe the truth is that she has always been jealous of the friendship you and Sam have had. But I think if she truly discovers that you both were an important role in her life, then she'll come around and say something or make someone else tell you like last time.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: There is the guy that I have 'talked' to twice. The first time he just blew me off and wouldn't return my calls. The second time we got into an arguement and we didn't talk for a week or so and by then he had already found another girl to like. However, this past weekend he has told me that he misses me and stuff, and we hungout the other night and he barely said 5 words to me. I don't understand why he wouldn't talk to me if he misses me and wants to talk more and stuff. Do you think if the opportunity came around I should give him another chance? This being the third one? I'm afraid of liking him again and then in the end being the one left upset and hurt. Boys are confusing.

Given the fact that he's been ignoring you and everything that goes with the last two times you were together, I say you shouldn't bother giving him another chance.

I don't see him changing anytime soon and neither should you. He sounds like a guy who tends to think he wants something and when he gets it, he kind of pushes it away. So let him learn that he can't keep this pattern up because you aren't the kind of girl who tolerates it.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Ok, so I have a boyfriend and I really, really like him. There's only one problem...I'm not allowed to date until I'm 16. I'm not really sure if just haning out at school is considered dating or not. Plus, I always feel embarrassed having a boyfirend, or guilty because I'm not supposed to. I really don't know what to do. My mom knows we're "going out" if you could call it that since we don't really do anything together since, well, I can't date. My sister doesn't have a problem "dating" a guy before 16 but I do. What should I do?

Your guilty feelings are normal. They are good and bad in ways.

They are bad obviously because it's like you can't seem to feel happy or excited, those feelings just overlay that. But mostly they are good because you know you are going against something and it's your way of telling yourself that something isn't right.

Dating is basically when you go out to the movies or go out anywhere nice or special with just the two of you. So, you should try talking to your parents about what their bounderies are when it comes to guys. Ask them if it's ok to just be boyfriend and girlfriend, but not go out on dates. Try setting the record straight with them because this sounds a little bit like a misunderstanding.

If it turns out that your parents don't want you to have a boyfriend period, then it's up to you whether you want to keep having these guilty feelings up until you're sixteen or try having fun with friends and family and then date when you are sixteen. My suggestion would be to wait. Not because your parents want it that way, but you've got plenty of time to date later on and for now your time should be spent being a girl with her friends.

-TheTeenGirl

Q:
16/f
Okay guys, this might take me a while to explain but i really need some good advice from you's so im trusting ya's !!

Alright.. me and the person ive been talking to for the past 5 months became very intimate. His past girlfriend he dated was for 18 months, and after they broke up she became a slut. I'm not trying to be mean or anything but she's done over 10 guys and shes only 17. Now.. im afraid that when we had sex, he's still thinking about her because i hear shes crazy in bed. And heres the thing, i have weird nipples.. yeah i know it sounds retarted or whatever, but i have a big chest .. im a 36 C, and i weigh 132lbs.. and i dont like have a nipple.. noone knows this buy you's and im not really planning on telling that many other people.. When you press on it, it becomes hard and you can see the nipple, but thats about it.. WHat should i do about this ? i dont want to seee a doctor about it because not even my parents know.. and what do you think i could do to make him think im good in bed. please help me

ps.. this may not seem like a big situation,.. but me and my best friend are the "most popular" girls in our grade.. and the guys we are with, are also.. plus they are best friends.. i dont want my rep ruined

thanks for taking the time =) Thanks.

I'm going to be upfront with you on this. You aren't ready to sex with this guy for these reasons:

1: You aren't comfortable enough to let him know your body imperfections.

2: You aren't comfortable with his past and the rumors you are hearing.

If you aren't comfortable with telling this guy just about everything about you, then sex won't be enjoyable for you. You'll be wondering what he's thinking about your body and what he's thinking of your actions and how 'good' you are. Which that shouldn't be worried about anyway.

You need to flat out let him know your discomfort with your body and his past and take the pressure off. If you let him assure you that he's not having high expectations with you, you'll feel way better. In order to truly enjoy this experience, you have to comfortable with yourself and your partner.

About the breast problem you have: I'm not exactly sure if it's something serious or it happens, but it wouldn't hurt to let someone know and go see a doctor about it. People go to doctors for worse reasons than their breasts and think of that fact if you get uncomfortable. It's only normal that you see a doctor. It's a way of taking good care of yourself.

About your reputation: If you keep caring too much of keeping your reputation, then you aren't going to have a good experience with sex or love. So, you should start caring about yourself more and stop worrying about things that don't matter such as his ex-girlfriend and your reputation.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Ok. so here's the deal..... My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago on the last day of school. I think the reason why was because I was kinda being a jerk that day because my mom made me REALLY mad the night before. Well anyway.... I WANT HIM BACK! He was the sweetest guy that I had ever met. He might have thrown some little fits here and there since he's used to getting his way, but most of the time he was very affectionate. His birthday is coming up in a couple of days and I want to ask him back out as a present. The only thing is, I'm not sure if he'll take me back and how I'm gonna ask him. Any suggestions?

The best that you can do is be open and tell him upfront what happened. Explain that your mom really ticked you off the night before and that caused you to be in a really bad mood and importanly you are sorry.

Don't expect him to take you back or accept your apology. If you are truly sorry, you'll tell him and you'll let him decide what conclusion he comes to. He may accept your apology, but not want you back. It's a possibility.

You can also let him know that you truly feel bad and you think he's a really sweet person and want to give this another try.

If you already told him you are sorry and everything, then you have to let him be. If he's the one who ended it, you should back off and let him find you if he discovers more feelings for you deep down. I know it hurts to be going through a break-up, but just take everything one day at a time and you'll come to realize that it's not as bad and you can heal from it.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: i'm 15 years old and im a sophmore.My parents are really stricked on me, when I was younger I usto get good grades and be the perfect daughter to them. When I would ask to go to the movies or out with friends they would get really mad at me and start to yell at me and they would never let me go out. I saw that even though I was a good daughter they still didnt trust me so I decided to give them a reason why not to trust me. Soon after I began to get suspended get bad grades and I even lost my verginity to a guy that wasnt even worth it. Things got even worse, I ended up pregnant but I had a miscarage. my parents never found out about that part though. Now I have a boyfriend that I have been with for about 1 year and 2 months. He is really nice and respectful, my parents hate him and do everything to keep us away, even though all of that my boyfriend has stayed by my side and tells me he wont leave me alone in the situation I am in with my parents. I am much more mature know and dont do the things that I usto do. But yet they still dont trust me or let me go out at all. i feel really left out because all my friends can go out but I always got to stay home. I have tried talking to my parents but it is so hard because to them it is their way or nothing. I dont know how to get them to understand what i am going threw and how I feel..what should I do?

I can't relate to your situation, but I can imagine what it could be like to not even be able to step foot out of your house.

I'm not sure why your parents are very overprotective, but you have to keep being a good daughter to them even though you feel that all of your hard work feels like nothing. I know you want to be perfect for them, but being a good daughter and working hard at everything you do isn't just happiness with your parents. It will encourage you to keep doing better in the future when that hard work will be needed the most. It's a long-term method that will do you good later on and not just now.

But aside from all of your problems with your parents, you have your miscarriage inccident that your parents don't even know about. It has to be hard to keep up with school, and everything else that matters when you have this unborn child that you've lost. That has to be really tough to handle each day. I think you should consider some kind of counseling or therapy. I know you might be thinking that it won't work, but just having someone to talk to, it's a nice thing to have knowing that at least someone cares.

I know that you have your new boyfriend, and I imagine that he's a great help, but you should figure out to handle these feelings and problems alone by getting into therapy. I'm not saying that you can't talk to your boyfriend about it, I'm suggesting that you try learning some methods where incase your boyfriend isn't here, you can handle it. Besides, I think you really need it because of certain things that have happened in the past.

I know you may be wanting to give up on your parents, but don't. If anything, they are trying to protect you, but it's too much. They aren't doing this to torture you or make you upset. Sometimes when you aren't getting your way, you tend to throw a fit or yell in a confrontation. I'm not saying that you did that, but when you do throw a fit, they tune you out and just look at you as a child you used to be. The best way to truly get down to the bottom of people is to confront them like an adult. Ask them if there is anything you can do to set things straight and to possibly be trusted to go out with friends.

But before that, maybe you should actually let them know what you are gong through. You don't have to tell them details, but at least tell them you feel stuck in life and need a little help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help in life, nobody is perfect. Everyone goes through a ton of times in their lives where they just have to stop and ask for help because it's too much. I hope that this helps and if you have any further concerns: Please let me know.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: A couple days ago, on myspace, I was on my friends page, and I saw this guy [one of his skater friends] and I thought he was hott and he lives in my town, and he's my age, so I figured I'd add him as a friend because there are good chances of us already knowing each other. Well it turned out to be one of my ex-boyfriends from a few years ago. You know. We dated when we were young. I was like 13-14 or something. Now I am 17 & He's 18. Well when we were together he liked me a lot and he was really sweet and everything. Like a perfect boyfriend, but we were young, so it really didn't matter. Well now we found out who each other is, and we can't believe we are talking again after these years have gone by. Well the problem is, I have been talking to him again for a couple of days and we talk on the phone and stuff, but he tells me how cute I am, and he brags about me, and he TELLS ME HE LOVES ME. I don't know what to do. I don't want to ignore him anymore, I just want to be friends because I have my most recent ex boyfriend whom I love very much and he just got a job for me and everything.

If you want this guy to realize that you only want to be friends, then first of let him know verbally. Tell up up front that you are still in love with another guy from the past so you aren't ready to be in a relationship with anyone due to these feelings.

Secondly, have bounderies. Don't lead him on when you both talk on the phone. Don't say anything that will make him think you want more. Now, seeing as you've just been out of a relationship, you probably are feeling vulnerable. Usually when you feel vulnerable, you tend to take any guy who is willing to talk to you or take care of you. You might even convince yourself that you like this guy when really it's just you feeling lonely.

Besides, this guy isn't in love with you. I promise. He might have strong feelings for you, but it's not love and he may think it's all love or fate because you both were once in a relationship young. Which can feel special when you have a past together so he's probably feeling overwhelmed with the history and being reunited, so don't let him stop you from letting him know that you don't want anything more with him.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: ok, so here's the story:I'm a guy, and I have a twin sister. We are like totally close, like, closer than most siblings ever are. But I just found out a few days ago that she went out with this really not-so-good guy like a year ago(and by not-so-good i mean does not know how to treat a girl. AT ALL). I also just found out that this guy wants to go out with her again. I told her that I don't like him and that she shouldn't go out with him, but she's just so stubborn and rebelious sometimes! But seriously, this guy is not the best guy for her. He drinks, he smokes, he kicks GIRLS, and my sister has totally fallen for him. AGAIN. I don't know how they broke up last time, but I'm determined to stop this before it starts up again. Please Help!

If you really think that this guy is a bad influence on your sister from the smoking and drinking, then this problem should be brought to your parent's attention.

Your sister loves you, no doubt about it. But she's not going to ditch a guy because you may not approve of him. She's into him and that is all she sees. You've let her know that you don't like him, so if you are worried enough that she may not be safe, then your parents need to take care of her.

If you feel like she'll be ok, then let her date the guy and learn what a true jerk he really is. She'll probably end up dating someone who turns out to be unpleasant and she might learn that she deserves more respect.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I don't think there's enough questions on advicenators that mention abortions. I assume there's more females on this site then males, so why does it seem like there are mainly pro-life supporters? We're women. Women with so many choices and laws that allow us those choices. I agree in having your own opinion, but never force it onto someone else. If someone is considering an abortion, why talk them out of it, bringing it up as a sin and disgusting? I'm proud to be pro-choice & you'd think nowadays more women would be. Why aren't you?

I think this question should have been deleted. Not because I disagree with your opinion, but this isn't a debate site. If you say that you understand people with different opinions, then why in the world would you go asking a question about it and acting like it's not brought up enough?

That's why people come and ask here about their options. Some people believe you should do things one way while others believe in another method. We don't need questions like this. I don't know what answer you are looking for but I;'m guessing it's someone who will tell you that you are right and agree with you. Whether I agree with you or not, this question shouldn't have been approved.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Hi, I really love your advice. :) That's why I'm directing this to you.
i'm 17/f. my boyfriend and his ex girlfriend were together a year. during this time he and i were good friends so he'd always talk to me about her, and stuff. and he'd tell me about their sexual experiences (she was very into sex) he really cared about her at the time. in his msn profile he still has "love you amy" i didn't care at the time because we were good friends.

well, that was 9 months ago, and now we're together and i really like him, but the fact i know so much about his experiences with this other girl really upsets me. i know it's not good to dwell on the past, but i can't help thinking about it all. they're still friends which doesn't help the situation either. he says hes over her, but i'm not sure if he is. i guess the fact he lost his virginity to her bothers me too. i just feel she'll always be more to him than i will ever be. i guess it's a weird jealousy thing. i don't even know her since she lives in a different state.

why do i feel like this? i just can't be happy and relax for some reason, even though its totally irrational. Can you give me some advice on what i should do? Thank you. :o)

Firstly, thank you very much, I appreciate the compliments, I'm very glad to help you with your question.

I do understand why you feel very distant from your boyfriend given the fact that he always told you about him and his Ex-girlfriend's sexual details, which I believe that he shouldn't have. Sex is a very personal subject and it should be kept between him and that other girl.

The truth is that if you start feeling like he may not be completely over this girl, then you both won't be able to work things out. When people get out of relationships, they tend to feel really vulnerable and try jumping in a relationship with someone else to relieve the feelings that they had in the past with that other person. These feelings can still happen even if he was the one who ended it.

If he stills talks about her a lot, then that is a big sign that he's not over her. You should watch out for if you find him talking about her a lot about anything.

About your feelings of discomfort: There's no way to minimize the feelings except to keep remembering that it's all in the past. I know you may have wanted him to be a virgin with you or just a virgin because you wanted to share your first time with him, but a lot of people have sex early because they are very sure in their mind's that they will be with this person forever. I'm sure if he knew he was going to end up with you he would have saved himself. My point is that he would probably rewrite the past for you if he could, but unfortunatly it doesn't work that easily.

You feel like this mostly because he told you just about everything him and his ex did so it's hard to think about because now you are the girlfriend. It's hard to just relax for you because you know everything and nobody wants to know that. What really matters is that he shouldn't have told you anything that happened between him and this girl no matter what. Good friends or not. What happens between him and that girl should have stayed quiet until they ended. And if he were going to tell you what happened between them, he should have just said that they had sex and that should have been the end of it.

If you really want to work through this and you feel that he does to, the best thing that you can have in a relationship is communication. Tell him that you feel bothered by all of what happened in the past so that way if you feel like slowing down, he will understand. There is nothing wrong with slowing down in a relationship. It may take a really long time of being romantic together for you to be convinced that what you have with him is real to him and it's more than ok to take your time. I actually suggest that you wait until these feelings come down. Don't rush in to have sex with him until you truly feel that you really mean something to him or it won't be enjoyable for you.

Don't kick yourself for these feelings either. These feelings that you are having can't be anymore normal than they are at this point. These feelings need to be felt and dealt with. So take things slower and let him now what's going on. If you have anymore questions please feel free to write back, I really hope that this helped and if not let me know if there's anything I can help you out with better.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: i'm 15. almost 16. my special someone is 17. almost 18. our birthday are in the next two months. where I live it's ilegal for a 18 yr. old to date anyone under the age of 16 and i'm not quite there yet. but we've agreed we're not going to let that stop us. my mom doesn't let me go out with him because last week she decided that he's a loser because he droped out of school. and she thinks he's too old for me. my someone and i have been together for 8 months and i would do anything for him and we have a undying love for each other. but it's getting so hard and now he's listening to peoples opinions and wants to break up with me because he doesn't want to try anymore. i know i could have tried more instead of trying to find someone else. but now i regreat it. i know that if i convence him that we can do this then we can make it.. i just have to get him to see that we're supposed to be together any suggestions?

feel free to ask me any questions about this

I know your situation has to be complicated given the fact that your boyfriend doesn't want to try anymore. I think that it's ok for you to say that you believe that you can get over the troubles and still make it, but it's up to him whether he will believe that too or not.

If he really does not want to try anymore, then you can move on and you can find someone else. Don't convice yourself that he's the only guy for you because he isn't. Besides, just because you go through a break-up and no longer are with someone, it doesn't mean you need to find someone right away. You'll probably feel that you have to but don't ever pressure yourself about it. If you find yourself chasing love, then give yourself a break and let love find you. Even if you've always been the one to wait, keep waiting and let yourself heal.

The only way he will understand that you can make it is if he believes it too. Let him know that you are willing to keep trying to make things work. If you both have a lot of problems, try finding a way to work them out. If you find yourselves fighting a lot, then instead of that, tell each other what they did and how it made you feel calmly. like this:

"I felt really (Feeling) When you (action that bothered you)"

That way he will be able to listen and know what's making you upset. Just remember that this has to do with him and his thoughts on your relationship at this point, not yours, you can't change his mind.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: okay so my boyfriend is a little younger than me and hes not a virgin .. and hes cheated in the past .. but i just found out about all this today from his bestfriend .. so what should i do? .. i really dont like the fact that hes not a virgin .. and he just turned 14 .. so HELP !!

thnks chasity x

I understand why you are bothered by him not being a virgin. It's normal and people who tell you to get over it, remember that it's ok to feel this way and it's not easy to just forget and move on.

The thing is that the past truly can't be changed, so if you do want to continue a relationship with this guy, it's something you'll have to deal with. It's not easy to deal, but if you find yourself unable to, then maybe this guy is not right for you.

What you should really do is work things out with him, talk to him. Not his best friend. Ask him about this stuff because you'll want to hear what happened in the past directly from him and not someone else.

His past isn't good, but he can change what happens in the future, so maybe this guy could be worth a try if you really want to try.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: i want a new haircut like kristin's off of laguna beach. ive googled and yahoo'd pictures of her but theres not any good ones of her hair down and all.... does anyone know where i can get a cute picture of her or either someone with a hair cut like hers so that i can show my hair stylist the way i want it?

Well, here are two pictures, one is long hair and the other is short.

I have also added a gallery for you to look at because there are pictures in there of her with her hair like it was in Laguna Beach, so you can choose the one you want to print out:

Long hair:
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/4586/Events/4586/KristinCav_Mazur_8125000_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Cavallari,%20Kristin

Short hair:

http://www.pureheaven.e-fans.net/gallery/displayimage.php?album=54&pos=27

GALLERY:
http://www.tv.com/kristin-cavalleri/person/342159/photos.html

-TheTeenGirl

Q: my best friend is going out with this really popular guy..so he has a lot of his friends coming up to him and talking to him and stuff and usually its me and my friend (we have a clique but they know when not to be around) she tells me to stay around her and when she wants me to leaves she tells me..okay..and sometimes i guess i get "annoying" so ill leave and his friends get to stay and my friend doesnt care that his friends are there. but my friend and her boyfriend dont like it when im there.WHATS UP WITH THAT!?! and ive tried talking to her but she says "ohh i dont mean to"..what should i do?its ruining our friendship..but she really loves him..

Your friend is being selfish and inconsiderate.

I don't know if that offends you, but it's true. If she just tells you to leave, then just don't come back at all around her and her boyfriend. Don't even come back to talk to them until she gets tired of you again. If she wants to spend time with you, then let her come to you.

Let her know that you're sick of being pushed away while his friends can be around and that you don't even want to be there anymore.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: My parents got divorced 6 months ago. Tomorrow them and my sisters and me r gonna like sit down and come up with a plan, so we can have like a regular schedule to see our dad. He picks me up from school every day and stuff, so it's not like i dont see him. I just dont wanna have like a plan! because sometimes im not gonna feel like hangin out with him. and i know this meeting is gonna get me annoyed! idk, how should i handle this ???

The way you should look at everything is that your parents probably didn't want to have to put up a schedule for you and your sisters. They didn't intend on getting divorced and putting your family through all of this, so take note that this probably isn't easy or satisfying for them either.

It sounds like they want you and your sisters to have equal time with your dad and that's the way it should be whether you feel like it or not. Your dad will want to see you every chance he gets because you will no longer be living together as a family and that's hard to do. There are times where you'll want to do something else instead of spending time with your dad, but it will make your dad happy.

You have to mske the best out of things. You can't always be entertained and when you aren't, you have to do something that will keep you busy. Spend time catching up with your sisters or talk to your dad. It's not like you won't be going places with him. Just wait until this plan actually comes into play and you'll see that your parents just want the best situation out of this.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 months. And while I deeply care about him, that same spark isn't there that there was up until about a month ago. I make excuses so I don't have to go see him when I don't feel like it, and a lot of the time, I don't feel like it.

He started to get on my nerves from not knowing when to stop playing around and being too shy to ever say anything when I'm upset or suprise me with something or be sweet more than on the very rare occasions.

I think its time to end the relationship as it stands now. I still really DO want to remain friends with him though, and I know that usually never happens after a breakup. Especially when the guy is so attached, like it is here. He (although he has difficulty showing it in person, but over IMs and whatnot, it shows -- jeez, computers are taking over our lives and ability to speak, aren't they?) is a LOT more attached to me than I am to him.

How can I word what I want to say to let him down very gently and hopefully keep our friendship? Any other helpful things to add?

PS: School is out for the summer, if that may come into play.

So your reason for ending this is because he's not being very romantic when it comes to special events.

I understand that you might be upset because of that, but five months isn't a long time for a relationship. When you first are with someone, you can't expect there to be sparks the whole time. When you hardly know each other and get together as boyfriend and girlfriend, it's hard to start getting romantic at first because it's scary. What I'm saying is that he's probably not comfortable with being sweet around you. But, if you know for sure that you want to end this, then that's alright too.

Basically, you should tell him in a way that makes you comfortable. Explain to him that you feel like the feelings aren't there anymore on your behalf. You don't want your friends around when you break-up with him. If you tell him in person, don't bring any friends and if he has friends with him, take him aside and let him know that you need to talk to him. You want this done in private so that you won't humiliate him in front of people.

About being friends, don't expect it at all. It puts a lot of pressure on two people when they break-up and those two people need a lot of space from each other. If you stay friends with him right after you break-up with him, you'll make it harder for him to get over you. So don't push any farther with this guy about being friends, for now he needs to be left alone.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: My BF still speaks to his ex-gf. She lives in a different state but they chat on MSN. They were together over a year. I guess I'm a pretty jealous person, but I actually don't believe in being friends with your exes. I'm not friends with any of mine (I don't hate them though) It's causing me a lot of worry and upset because they've broken up and got back together several times and I'm afraid its going to happen again. would it be unreasonable for me to ask him to stop speaking to her? when i asked him how he felt about her, he said they won't get back together because she no longers likes guys... but I dunno. Doesn't sound very convicing to me. What should I do?

thanks

This is definetly a tough situation. First off, don't feel bad because you are jealous. That is only human to get jealous when a boyfriend or girlfriend talks to their ex.

Don't let anyone tell you that it's not ok to feel upset. And I understand completely of the not believing in people talking to their exes.

Whether you should tell him to stop talking to her or not depends on the status of your relationship. If you both are only boyfriend and girlfriend, then you should hold off that problem until the both of you are engaged or become very serious.

I'm a little confused on his reason for not bding with her. He said he won't be with her again because she isn't interested in guys anymore. If that's the only reason he used, then you should rethink this relationship big time, because that's basically saying that if she were still into guys, he'd be with her.

For now, you could say, "I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but I just wanted you to know that it bothers me that you still talk to your ex-girlfriend" and he may quit. But don't expect it.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I have some serious trust issues. Y'all know how most people say "I trust you until you give me a reason not to", right? Yeah well I DON'T trust you until you give me a reason TO. I honestly don't even trust a few of my best friends. How can I get over this?

The only way to truly find whether you can trust someone or not is to reach out and trust them. Yes, it's a big risk, but later you'll come to find the ability to know whether or not to trust a certain person that comes along.

There will always be times when you'll be fooled by someone you thought that you could trust, but that's not your fault. It's your way of knowing a person and deciding whether or not you can be close to this person in terms of privacy and trust. You can still be someone's friend, but you don't have to loan them your clothes or tell them your secrets.

Just know that some people won't be able to be trusted by you, and it doesn't mean that everyone else can't be trusted. You have to give new people a chance.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I am a 19/f,I met dat guy online 2 months ago he gave me his number,I called him the same day Sinca dat day we keep on talkin we talk until 2 or 3 in da mornin we don't know each other but we send each other pictures.He keeps on tellin me dat he loves me and he wanna married me ,and the way he talks to me make feel that he is not lying. Do you think that relationship will last?

It likely won't last unless you meet up soon. But, you can't be in love after two months, it just doesn't happen.

So if he's already telling you that he wants to marry you, then I'd say it's probably some joke or he's only telling you what you want to hear.

Likely online relationships aren't true. They are likely people who joke around or they are trying to look for young people to meet up with and possibly do something horrid to them. True love hardly ever happens over the internet, so I'd keep that in mind.

-TheTeenGirl

bio

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.