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is this unreasonable?
My BF still speaks to his ex-gf. She lives in a different state but they chat on MSN. They were together over a year. I guess I'm a pretty jealous person, but I actually don't believe in being friends with your exes. I'm not friends with any of mine (I don't hate them though) It's causing me a lot of worry and upset because they've broken up and got back together several times and I'm afraid its going to happen again. would it be unreasonable for me to ask him to stop speaking to her? when i asked him how he felt about her, he said they won't get back together because she no longers likes guys... but I dunno. Doesn't sound very convicing to me. What should I do?
thanks
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your first mistake would be to tell him tostop talking to her, it's been my experience that when youtell a guy to stop talking to a girl then he'll either keep talking to her more or break up with you, just tell him thatyou're not comfortable with it or even ask what kind of things the two of them talk about, if he cares about you then you shouldn't have anything to worry about. it's ok to get jealous but if it gets to far you may end up losing your boyfriend, and fyi it's ok to still be friends with an ex, especially if they were together for a long time. i was with my ex for two and a half years and he and i are still close friends. they may still have feelings for each other but he's with you now and not her and that's what you've got to remember...
hope i helped
shay
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This is definetly a tough situation. First off, don't feel bad because you are jealous. That is only human to get jealous when a boyfriend or girlfriend talks to their ex.
Don't let anyone tell you that it's not ok to feel upset. And I understand completely of the not believing in people talking to their exes.
Whether you should tell him to stop talking to her or not depends on the status of your relationship. If you both are only boyfriend and girlfriend, then you should hold off that problem until the both of you are engaged or become very serious.
I'm a little confused on his reason for not bding with her. He said he won't be with her again because she isn't interested in guys anymore. If that's the only reason he used, then you should rethink this relationship big time, because that's basically saying that if she were still into guys, he'd be with her.
For now, you could say, "I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but I just wanted you to know that it bothers me that you still talk to your ex-girlfriend" and he may quit. But don't expect it.
-TheTeenGirl
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Don't tell him to stop talking to her. She lives in a different state. It'd be physically impossible for them to get back together. He's dating you right now, and if you tell him to alienate a friend for you, you're putting that status in jeopardy. In my opinion, it would be unreasonable.
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When you asked him how he felt about her and he said they would never get back together beacause she no longer likes guy's was the WRONG ANSWER. He should've said no we will never get back together because I love you and I don't want her back or something along those lines. Sounds to me as if he may still have some feelings for her. I would tell him it hurt's you when you see them talking on line and would prefer if he didn't. If he still talks to her knowing that it hurts you then as hard as it may be, give him the boot. That may actually make him realize that what he's doing is wrong. All his time on-line to the EX is time that is taken away from you.
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It isn't very convincing because it's BS. It's disrespectful to you for him to continue to talk to her, no matter what her sexual preference of the moment is. I'd be livid and suspicious if I were you.
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See, if it was me, I would want an answer such as "we wont get back together because I don't like her. I like you"
But, hey, that's just me.
Honestly, I'm not sure what you should do. If you feel like you don't want him to speak to her, then you should have the right to tell him that. I was always under the mindset that if I'm friends with a guy, and we break up, then a new guy in my life shouldn't make me stop my friendship with the ex... but that has changed. I have an ex, who I was friends with for a while, but now I have a new boyfriend, and I have no ambition for keeping my friendship with my ex. I know it would upset me if my boyfriend was still friends with his ex, and I know it would upset him if I was to keep my friendship with my ex...
So, no, I don't think it's unreasonable for you to ask him to sto speaking to her.
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Well for one thing if shes a lesbian now i dont think she has an interest in him like that. I think that you should trust him on this and maybe tell him that it bothers you that him and her talk so much..................<3 JOsie
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