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My sister and her boyfriend
ok, so here's the story:I'm a guy, and I have a twin sister. We are like totally close, like, closer than most siblings ever are. But I just found out a few days ago that she went out with this really not-so-good guy like a year ago(and by not-so-good i mean does not know how to treat a girl. AT ALL). I also just found out that this guy wants to go out with her again. I told her that I don't like him and that she shouldn't go out with him, but she's just so stubborn and rebelious sometimes! But seriously, this guy is not the best guy for her. He drinks, he smokes, he kicks GIRLS, and my sister has totally fallen for him. AGAIN. I don't know how they broke up last time, but I'm determined to stop this before it starts up again. Please Help!
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Unfortunately, a lot of girls do like 'bad boys'. They appear to be more exciting and unpredictable. If you continue to be so obviously against her dating him, she is more than likely to become more interested in him as it is being rebellious. The two traits go together.
He may well be the worst choice in the world for her but you need to back off and give her space. It is her life, her choices and her mistakes.
If you are that concerned, the most you will be able to do at this point is to tell her that although you disagree with her decision and calmly tell her why. Then let her know that you will be there for her at any point, day or night, if she needs you.
If she is suddenly left with nothing to rebel against, she could very well decide that the guy is too much hassle anyway and split with him for good. She may not, she could be the one to tame him and he ends up a decent guy.
Whatever she chooses to do, it has to be her choice. It's so hard when you see a loved one potentially making a really bad decision, but it's what comes with free will.
You obviously love and care about her very much and she is lucky to have you. In time I think she will come to appreciate that so much and will be happy to know she can come to you if she needs to.
In the meantime, try to stay calm, watch the situation from a distance, let her know you respect her and that she can come to you without judgement.
The best of luck to you.
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This must be a very difficult situation for you, and I appreciate that you want to protect her but however hard you try, she will always do exactly what she wants. Especially if she is rebellious and stubborn.
Warn her that you don't think he's good enough for her because of what you have heard and say that she can go out with him if she wants but after they split up last time, you heard he wasn't a nice guy and you're worried that she might regret it if she goes out with him. Do NOT say she would be making a mistake because this implies a failing on her part. Simply say she might end up regretting it and you don't want to see her get hurt. This way, she will understand how you feel.
However, I would like to stress that this does not mean she won't go out with him because if she has made up her mind she will, she'll do it regardless of what you or anyone else says. The only thing you can do is warn her of the possible consequences and be there to pick up the pieces.
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If you really think that this guy is a bad influence on your sister from the smoking and drinking, then this problem should be brought to your parent's attention.
Your sister loves you, no doubt about it. But she's not going to ditch a guy because you may not approve of him. She's into him and that is all she sees. You've let her know that you don't like him, so if you are worried enough that she may not be safe, then your parents need to take care of her.
If you feel like she'll be ok, then let her date the guy and learn what a true jerk he really is. She'll probably end up dating someone who turns out to be unpleasant and she might learn that she deserves more respect.
-TheTeenGirl
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Well, start off by telling her that you do indeed respect her decisions. Tell her that you want the best for her in everything, and that you don't want anything to ever happen to her.
Ask her why she likes this guy. Think about the points she brings up. Think about your contradictions and then tell her what you think. Again, remind her that you want the best for her and that you care about her alot.
Tell her that you don't think that this guy is right for her and that she should be open for a really great guy to come around.
I hope I helped, and est of luck to ya! <3
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