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Trust issues
I have some serious trust issues. Y'all know how most people say "I trust you until you give me a reason not to", right? Yeah well I DON'T trust you until you give me a reason TO. I honestly don't even trust a few of my best friends. How can I get over this?
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Some of my best friends have this probelm, I personally have the opposite problem, but I do have some advice.
Your problem is probably that whatever you have to say, you don't know how to say it to certain people. First of all, think if he have any reason to not trust him or her. Even if it's something like you heard him spreading rumors about somebody else or anything at all. If you don't, just open your mouth. Figure out the first sentence and the rest should flow easily from there. That's what always happens to me when I have to tell someone something that i don't want to.
If you really can't trust anyone, write everything down in a journal. It will help you get your feelings out.
Now I'm not sure if you mean that you don't trust that they won't do something bad to you. In this case, you have to decide to not care. If they are going to hate you, they are going to hate you whether you get close or not. And if they do do something cruel, then they aren't worth it anywayz.
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I go through this sometimes, as well. Trusting people can be a struggle sometimes, and it's reasonable to think that the only way to trust someone is to find a good reason why they should be trusted. But first you need to think if they deserve to be trusted. Have they done anything bad to you recently? Like betray or hurt you? If so, you'll need to talk to them about it. Try negotiating about it. If they've been real friends to you and haven't done anything terrible, try giving them a second chance and trust them again. It is a long process but ask yourself if they really do deserve to be trusted.
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The only way to truly find whether you can trust someone or not is to reach out and trust them. Yes, it's a big risk, but later you'll come to find the ability to know whether or not to trust a certain person that comes along.
There will always be times when you'll be fooled by someone you thought that you could trust, but that's not your fault. It's your way of knowing a person and deciding whether or not you can be close to this person in terms of privacy and trust. You can still be someone's friend, but you don't have to loan them your clothes or tell them your secrets.
Just know that some people won't be able to be trusted by you, and it doesn't mean that everyone else can't be trusted. You have to give new people a chance.
-TheTeenGirl
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you are guarded, and thats makes it easier for you not to get hurt. By not trusting people fully, you dont leave yourself open to getting hurt.huh.
I think you may have been hurt badly at some stage in your life.From a personal point of view, I would probably think, you may never change. Its an inbuilt mechanism in your psych.
It is extremley hard to change, I know this, because I have the same kind of thing.
I dont really see it as a problem for you though, unless you make it common knowledge (ie dont tell people you dont trust them) that bites.
trust takes a while to establish.It is really a belief in someone. I have found, if you act like you trust somone, the odds of them hurting you are much less.Dont worry too much about it.
when I told someone I didnt trust them, they immediately assumed that I couldnt be trusted myself.which really made me think.
So take some time to establish trust with different people. It will work out.Getting hurt isnt the worst thing in the world. It makes you stronger.
I hope this helps.
chris13
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