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June 13, 2008

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My name is Matthew. I try my best to serve the Lord as best I can. I also try to serve my fellow brother and sisters as best I can. Salvation is my goal for you.

advice

I was just wondering if anyone could give me some insight as to what a normal age is for like, giving head, and oral sex and stuff. im 13, and i've never wanted to do anything like that but i was just wondering at about what age are girls doing it now a days. if anyone could help me out, i would really appreciate it.

When you feel you are ready to is the right age. However if you need a number I would say 17 or 18. No ones really mature enough to make rationalized decisions until that age range. SO its really up to you. I implore you not to start now however. That is way to young. Also....Never ever ever ever let a guy pressure you into it. Never. No guy is worth it.

I hope I helped!

Hey I recently dyed my hair black and I was wondering if it will look good with red highlights. I have brown skin. if you have anyother colors that might look good please tell me. not blonde everyone has blonde i wand something different.

Oh yes it will look very good. Ive seen some people (girls) with black hair and red highlights (and brown skin) and it looks really good. Do it! I want to add red highlights to my black hair.....but someone doesnt want me to....:(

hope I helped!

if two people were positioned right on a mechanical bull...would it do it for them?

Ohhhh yeah baby...Ohhh yeah!

Hope I helped! :-)

im 16/f
my parents offerd to by me a car. whats a good 1?

A 1999 Camaro with a T-top baby! Or a 1969 Dodge Charger.

Hope I helped! :-)

i'm a 17 yr old male that has a false reputation of being gay. i'm actually metrosexual and almost all the school assumes i'm gay. how can i show my peers that i'm straight without betraying who i am.

I would get a girlfriend. That would be a big sign saying your straight.

Hope I helped! :-)

I guess the best way to describe how I need advice is to briefly explain my situation.

I met this guy on Saturday Nite. The moment I saw him, I was stuck with a still focus. He looked back and forth, but it wasnt until his friend pointed out to him that I was looking over.

His friend tapped me on the shoulder and said that my friend is interested in you, but scared in approaching you. Nervous, well I guess we both were.

I walked over and introduced myself very bluntly, but friendly, because I thought that it was now or never. I shook his hand, and we briefly chatted, but the nervousness kept blocking both of us in having a normal conversation.

about 1 hour later, I walked back over to him and I gave him my mobile phone, and said 'here can i have your number'? He said yes, and put it in.

He offered to drive me home, as I was not driving that night. I was about to say yes, but I walked over to my friends, and asked them for advice. 2 of them said to say no, because unless you want to have sex tonight, dont go. I didnt go, because I never sleep with someone just for sex. Its more a need to trust first, then sex second.

I refused and said I would call him. He said ok.

I called him the next day, being sunday, and he invited me over for a movie at his place. I made it there at about 9pm. We spoke briefly, but went straight into the movie. It was probable the wrong movie to watch because it was a little erotic. I didnt choose this because of the erotic level, but rather because it had a story to it as well, and it was amazing.

after the movie, we spoke about out past a bit, about our interests as so on. He shared a lot of information, and I listened open minded. Then he asked me about my past. I was hesitant at first, but only because every other person I have met on a previous time has not wanted to see me again based on my past. No I havent murdered anyone, but I have been through a lot with my parental upbringing, meaning my parents subjected me to quite a vast amount of emotional torture. I never really have gotten over it, but everyday I try. I am only 25 but all the pain stopped at approx. 21. but the last 4 years have been very hard because emotionally and spiritually I have been very confused, very lost, and lonely due to it all.

Anyway, I told him that I didnt want to tell him yet, because of people running away due to the emotionally deepness of it all. He still wanted to know, and he put his head on my lap and started to stoke my knee, saying its ok, im not going anywhere. Please tell me. So i did. Not all, but bits and pieces. He still layed on my lap, but he grew more and more speechless and I became more and more confused. He said that although its a lot of information, its stuff people usually never tell people. I said well you persisted in asking me, I wasnt going to tell you, but I did only because you asked.

It was now 3am Monday Morning. I didnt want to drive home, because it was 35 minutes drive, and I said, if i slept here on the couch would you be offended. he said, come and sleep on my bed, and we can just cuddle, and nothing more, i promise.

I said ok. I walked into his room, and he kissed me, I stopped and looked at him, but the kiss was so passionate that I kissed him back. We didnt have sex, he didnt even offer. but what i did was fall asleep next to him, holding his hand.

I woke up, needed to leave, and said I have to go, around 7:30am this was. He said, kiss me, I did, and it was so different, because I have never felt this way. It wasnt love, I know, but it wasnt Lust either, It just felt really nice to be held by someone again. It was a long time since this had happened.

I left, and he walked me to my car. I opened my window, and he kissed me through the car window goodbye.

I drove off confused So Very Confused. Because It was the first time I had ever felt this feeling inside, but I was feeling very weird. He is 21 by the way.

I got home, got dressed, and headed off to work. I took my mobile with me, but because I had not much sleep, and this emotional feeling that was inside me exploding inside me, made me not keep my mind on my job all monday. I texted him later in the day, and I said that I had never felt this way before, and I dont want to scare you off, but am i moving too fast in saying that I feel something with you, something so powerful, something so profound and I cant explain it. He said no. You are not moving fast at all. Its ok.

I left that phone call thinking that this might be the one. and yes it was only the second day, but my heart was powerfully moved and my emotional connection with him was rapidly moving to climax. I wasnt sure of it all.

Tuesday came, and I rang him that night and offered him to come to meditation class with me. I said that its not hard to learn, and I would really love for you to come. I said think about it and please let me know either way. The class was on Wednesday Night at 7:30pm. He kept referring the whole meditation thing as 'HIPPY STUFF'. But I tried to reassure him that it wasnt.

Wednesday came, I didnt hear anything all day, so I turned on my phone, and texted him at 6:30pm. I said that I am off to Meditation class soon, and are you still coming. He first texted me and said, that you need to slow down a bit, cos im getting freaked out. I was ok, sure sorry I will.

he texted me back and said I am sorry, I am up having dinner with a mate. would you like to come and join us. I replied and said but im not dressed, and im in my work clothes. he said its ok. so i did.

I showed up, and we had dinner. he wasnt as talkative as usual, but I mean, we had been in contact non-stop, well actually I had been, not him, for the past 4 days. But remember he said I wasnt moving too fast. So i interpreted this as ok, keep moving at the current speed, its fine.

I spoke more to his mate and his mate was 15ish years older than him. We all walked to a quiet bar and sat and talked. I drant water because I didnt feel like alcohol. He didnt also. he sat next to me, and we hardly spoke. I guess I was nervous being with him like this, because the more I saw him, the more I grew closer to him. I didnt think it was love, but it sure felt like it.

I spent most of the nite on my mobile phone, texting people, because I was very nervous, and I didnt want to come on too strong, and I didnt want to freak him off. I liked him too much and didnt want to loose him to something so simple as my egarness.

he told me that i should put the phone down, but before i did, I texted him and said "do you know you are so sexy tonight"

he replied saying "haha. I know"

I thought nothing of the comment, and started talking about other things. then a friend from work came in and saw me. I was all nervous, i dont know why, but she walked past and said hi.

she sat over to my left on another lounge with 3 other girls. He was looking over at these people, and lots of others that walked past him. it was a little sad to watch his eyes roll all over them.

then suddenly he put his arm around me and yelled really loud, SO EVERYONE KNOWS NOW! ITS NO LONGER A SECRET. it embarrised me so much, but i didnt hate him, i just grew more silent. His friend told him to stop it, because he was embarrising me.

What confused me was the fact that one minute he is laying on my lap, begging me to tell him my past, stoking my knee. sleeping together, holding his hand. kissing him. kissing me goodbye through the car window. telling me i am not moving fast, and then i am, and that i am scaring him off. then inviting me out to dinner, and not talking to me much, and then putting his arms around me and speaking loudly. I didnt know what messages he was sending me, and it was making me emotionally confused.

We finished the night off, walking along the beach, the 3 of us, and then heading to a bar, where i played a game of pool with his mate. It was an all in all good nite, except he was silent, and he didnt say goodbye to me, but his friend said bye instead. his friend offered me a concert ticket to join the two of them on Monday night. I accepted.

He didnt say goodbye, and I was confused further. I guess I knew something had happened. but what?

I texted him in the morning, and said thank your for the night, and that I enjoyed myself quite a bit. by the way, we had already organised another date just the two of us, a few days earlier. on friday nite to have dinner somewhere.

anyway i texted him saying that i had a great night and that i enjoyed myself. I switched off my phone, and went to work, and didnt switch it back on, because i couldnt take any distractions today due to heavy work load.

I got home at 6:30pm, turned it on, and recieved a text back from his mate and him. his mate said that he got the tickets to the concert, 2nd row. but he texted me saying that I made him out to be a complete slut last night, and that i embarrised him. well I was confused again, but I was so sad to be confronted like that, so i texted him right back, and said I was on my way to talk to you to explain myself properly. He texted me back saying that he would rather speak about it on friday night. tonight was thursday. I said fine, ok, no worries, but also said sorry for any problems I may have caused.

I went over a friends house that evening, and he was online on the dating website I joined. although we didnt meet through this site, because it was local, we met at a bar. I messaged him and said hey, its me.

he messaged me back 10 minutes later. and he wrote that we could never have a relationship due to what happened last night and that because you hinted to me that you want a full on relationship, and that i dont. He said just because of this comment it doesnt mean that I want to f#%k around, but rather I cant see myself with you now. I am only 21.

I messaged him back, trying to get an explaination for the comment. he said join me in a private message chat room. i did.

he said that because of all of the shit last nite, i cant see myself with you long term. you are ready for a relationship and i am not. his profile on the website also states that he is after a relationship too. so again i was confused.

I started to cry and my friend i was with sitting next to me, was very confused, as to why i was getting so attached so soon to someone i barely knew.

we chatted for approx. 1 hour. and i poored so much emotion out that night, he didnt speak at all. I said all what i have told you, that the mixed messages, moving too fast then im not, so on. and he said, that why are you like this. any normal person would have told you to f#@k off by now, because you are freaking me out. then i was so sad, for that comment, i said i was hurt, my heart was crushed, and so on. [I can still feel the pain right now]. I said that i am not sure if i can be just friends because all i want to do is grab you kiss you and hold you. I feel something so profoundly impactfully stong and powerful, and why you dont see this, is beyond me. I said that if we were to sustain a friendship, after this big week, I would have to bottle all my feelings for you, and put a lid on them all. and try to be just friends. but i said it would be hard.

and then he said very little, but he said he wants to be friends. more than ever. but I was too sad to make a decision that night. he said he had to go to sleep for work the next day.

I couldnt sleep all night, because of the issues looming in my mind. i woke up every 1 hour tossing and turning. I woke up at 6:30am, and texted him one last time being Friday, the day we are to go out for a date. I said i was sorry for last night, sorry for going all emotionally distraught, so on. and I would like to come over tonight and speak to you in person, if that is to say goodbye, or to stay friends, i dont want to do it on the internet or the phone, i need to speak to you face to face.

I did ring his friend and say that I am shocked. that has he spoken to him? and he said no. I told him briefly, that I was feeling so connected to him, and I was afraid that i stuffed it all up, that i destroyed it all, because i moved fast. he said i did move too fast, but there is something you must know about this guy you are in love with. he is a very touchy feelie person. he did the exact same thing to another person 2 months ago. and the same reaction you are having happened. I said that have i blown my chances, and he said i am not sure, but i will talk to him, and say that you are deeply regreting loosing him as a friend. I said thanks. I also said that do you think that i should give the concert a miss because I might be moving again too fast too soon. seeing too much, and he may need time to settle down. cool down so to speak.

he said ill get back to you after i speak to him today.

which brings me to now. writing this.

the advice i am after is:

was i too fast.
am i too emotionally deep
is there something wrong with me
did i do things wrong.
why did i get attached so emotionally to this person
and what was the feeling in my body, if it wasnt love and wasnt lust.

i dont know if its me, but it sure feels like hell today. I am awaiting his return message but i am doubting he will message me and let me speak to him tonight.

ps: sorry my story is so long. i needed to set the story right so you could understand better.
thank you for reading it.

I think you physically were not moving to fast, but mentally you were in the fast lane. I dont think you love him persay, but rather you were alone and he was the first thing to come around. (its the impression I got, I could be wrong.) I think you might be too emotionally deep. Its not a bad thing...no....however To show such feelings towards a guy you barely know so fast, makes it deeper then it really is. What I mean is you were probably scaring him. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Not at all. The heart and mind can play painful games on a person. You just have to make due with what you have. I think you need to hide some feelings to a certian degree, until the time is right. Most guys are afraid of a girl comming off to strong like this. Guys just look out for number one. (themselves) and dont want to get hurt or tied down before they know what they want. Im sure the feeling you had that wasnt love or lust was just the mind really liking someone. Its a feeling people get. You arent sure if you really love them but you know that its not just about the sex. there really isnt a word for it....Most feelings cant be described...just felt. Also in some parts of this I got the impression he might have just wanted sex. An erotic movie....acting odd after that night. He respected your wishes not to have sex, but he might have wanted it. I think you need to track him down and talk face to face.

I really hope I helped! If you have any further questions leave one in the inbox.

i was with my bf.. and i farted he hasnt really talking to me sense. whats he thinkin bout?

LMAO....I mean......Hes thinking about.....lol......pie. Mmmm Mmm Pie!

ok from experience here i need to ask something to everyone whose dyed their hair or got highlights b4. Ok so i want to dye my hair but my hair grows fast. I am in 8th grade and i have got highlights 2wice before. should i dye my hair because if i do then i will have to CONTINUE dying it untill i just dye it back to my original color. help me chose...
-Arielle

I dye my hair all the time. My hair grows insanely fast but its not hard to just do touch ups when the time comes. I think dying the hair is fun and change is a good thing. I got tired of seeing the same color everyday.

Hope I helped!

okay, the guy i really like just asked me out. yay. but the down side is hes punk. and im prep. i kno i kno it shouldnt matter. but if i go out with him i kno pplz are gonna look at me different, think im different and treat me different. i cant stand it. i really like this guy help me, should i or shouldnt i go out with him???

Why does it matter what people think about you? Happiness comes from within, not your friends. I say date him. Why stop a good thing because someone might go "Omg...they do not match." I dont see the problem.

Hope I helped!

You know that little piece of skin between you anus anus and your vagina? Well it burns when I urinate and it started bleeding. What should I do?!

*Scared*

It could be many things...Rough toilet paper as someone said, an infection....Or if its been humid the constant rubbing of the skin down there could have irrated it. I would wait a day or two to see if it goes away, and if it doesnt, I would go see a doctor of somesort. You could go to www.discoveryhealth.com and look up something in there.

Hope I helped!

everytime i try to sumbit my answer to a question on this site, it says "Chatspeak detected. Type in english please" does anyone know why it's doing that, and how to fix it? I Rate High for the effort! thanks~*

Advicenators now has a chatspeak detector, so now words like "lol" "bff" "gurl" "thx" and those other gay words arent allowed thank God. So basically you now have to type correctly.

Hope I helped y!

All my friends do all this oral sex crap with all the guys... im waiting till im married to do all that stuff. I think they are total sluts for doing it with just a radom guy they know, when they dont even have feelings for them at all, just friendly ones. I really think its gross i mean were only in 8th grade and were 14... i mean makeing out and that is ok but yeah ... am i wrong?

I agree. It is NOT wrong. In fact your the only one around here with some common sence. DO NOT I repeat DO NOT change for anyone or any guy. Mallisssa is right. Imagine what they will causually be doing at 16 or 15...You dont want to be into that. It could be disasterous to you and your health and your life and so on....Just do what you feel is right. The heart contols you...Not trends or peer pressure....

Hope I helped!

Ok I am not a geek and I am not popular. I am in the middle and I am sure of it. I am in 8th grade and I have never had a boyfriend before. In all I have asked 4 guys out and they all turned me down. I am pretty...but not like WOW GOREGOUS pretty but resonably cute. I have to ask is there something wrong with me?
-single and hatin it

I dont know how to answer this question. All we have is your cute. What about your personality? Are you an awesome person or what? Looks shouldnt be the biggest deciding factor here. However. Maybe the guys you like liked someone else. Ill bet there is someone out there who likes you....Give it time....Dont look for it...itll find you.

Hope I helped!

2day is mine and my boyfriends 2 months...but we have been talking longer than that. but anyways...for the past few days we have been arguing alot about me talkin 2 guys..he says he trust me, but really he doesnt! but thats not it. well he transferd to my school because of me, then we started talking. and well im with him every passing period, we always text in class, im always with him @ lunch and well were always together after skool. all my homegirls think its so cute and that were the perfect couple!..but alot of my homeboys are like dont you get tired of him?!...but today since we were arguin he sat sumwhere else @ lunch..and well its just that i need time to my self. but whwen he doesnt sit with me, he is a loner!!...

im sorry this is so long..but really, i do need some advice!!

I wouldnt break up with him, but I would ask for some time apart. Spending time is great, but you need to set your limits and allow for some "you" time. If you dont, then things could go awry with you two.

Hope I helped!

OMG! i dont knoe why..but my teeth are yellow!! i brush 3 times a day..and i dont smoke!!..whats wrong?!

Change your tooth paste to Crest. Trust me. Crest is the best tooth paste ever. Make sure its got whitening action. Also, try that hydrogen idea. Im going to give it a whirl. Ill tell you how it goes......

I have a business plan to do and I'm opening a nail salon. Should I name it "Paint" or "Tips and Toes"? thanx for your input

Paint is not a good name for a salon. It sounds like someplace Id go to paint my house. I would name it the "tips and toes" one.

Hope I helped!

one of my really good guy friends is being a jerk, because i just met a guy from a different school and i think hes jealous but anyways i asked him why he was mad cause i didnt know for sure and he said don't talk to me..actually do better then that stop breathing, i cant believe you haven't already and i was like okay..and my friend kneed him through a bus seat after he said that and he said hey lesbians get a room and he was being the biggest dickhead ever and then he said i was ugly even though he said that i was extremely pretty a week ago and he also said when i was talking to another guy he said to teh other guy..hey broz before prudes and hes been like that for like 2 days..what could i say to him??

Yes. He is extremely jealous. So jealous infact I believe its at an unhealthy level. You need to sit him down and talk to him. you need to set him straight because he has no right to say such things, and he needs to know this. If it gets worse, you need to drop him like dead weight. If he isnt going to cool down, then hes only going to drag you down.

hope I helped!

my best friends boy friend tells me who to be and tells me this and makes fun of my bffls friends..look> B-arri-g-o-80: okay ill just keep my trend going then grow a few inches and tell kelly to drop a fewpounds

my friend kelly is a little overweight.im really short.. what can i tell my bff to tell him to stop with out getting a into a big thing over it?

Dude, Do not let anyone push you around. Its your life not his. He has no right to say such things. I would tell them all straight up to shut the hell up. He needs to be put in his place. Even if it gets into a big thing, its gotta be done.

Hope I helped!

i broke up with my ex about a month ago and i've gotten over him and i like this boy in my gym class but hes white and one of my friends say dont do it but shes white to. i dont really konw how to ask him Because im not that thin so how do i go about askin him out

First of all. Appearance shouldnt matter at all. Black or white. Get to it. The way I would do it, is just talk to him......be a friend. Subtly flirt with him. When you make a joke laugh and touch his arm or something of the sort. If some of your friends happen to be couples, ask them how they flirted with each other. Everyones got different things....I bit my girlfriends face softly and jokingly... hehehe...It lead up to my first kiss.

Well I hope I helped!

This is a question to all advicenators: What makes you want to give advice to other people?

Because I am full of wisdom and I wish to share it with all. Unlike the bastards who joke around on this site, I believe when people need help, then I am going to give it.

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