When life gives u lemons, make lemonade. Then, throw it in the face of the person who should've gotten you the oranges you orginally asked for.
What we do is determined by what we are. What we are is determined by what we think. What we think is determined by what we experience. What we experience is determined by what we are exposed to and what we do with that exposure.
(MIKE VANCE and DIANE DEACON)
Life is like a book with many different chapters. Some tell of tragedy, others of triumph. Some chapters are dull and ordinary, others intense and exciting. The key to being a success in life is to never stop on a difficult page, to never quit on a tough chapter. Champions have the courage to keep turning the pages because they know a better chapter lies ahead.
(RICH RUFFALO)
Because you're able to do it and because you have the right to do it, doesn't mean it's right to do it.
(Dr.LAURA SCHLESSINGER)
We are born with our eyes closed and our mouths open, and we spend our whole lives trying to reverse that mistake of nature.
(DALE E.TURNER)
You can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough. You must want it with an inner exuberance that erupts through the skin and joins the energy that created the world.
(SHEILAH GRAHAM)
We all have the ability. The difference is how we use it.
(STEVIE WONDER)
Everything is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied.
One person can make a difference and every person should try.
The one thing worse than being alone is not being alone and wishing you were.
Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.
(THEODORE N.VAIL)
The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.
(ROBERT C. DODDS)
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.
(EPICURUS)
When you look in the mirror, you are looking at the problem, but remember, you are also looking at the solution.
Live your life, so you don't have to hide your diary.
Dream what you dare to dream. Go where you want to go. Be what you want to be.
(CALVIN COOLIDGE)
The first thing of importance is to have confidence in yourself, in your abilities.
(KATHARINE GIBBS)
Become a 'possibilitarian'. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see the possibilities-always see them, for they are always there.
(NORMAN VINCENT PEALE)
DAVID COPPERFIELD just might be the greatest magician and illusionist of all time. He is definitely a legend in his own time. Here are some of his most inspiring quotes...
'The easiest thing in the world is to come up with an excuse not to do something. I found that the most important thing in life is to stop saying,'I wish,' and to start saying,'I will.'
'Before there can be wonders, there must be wonder.'
'Whenever I pursued my dreams, I discovered something astonishing-I discovered myself. My secret has been to consider nothing impossible. Then to treat possibilities as probabilities.'
'Passion is everything.'
'I learned that there were two ways I could live my life: following my dreams or doing something else. Dreams aren't a matter of chance, but a matter of choice. When I dream, I believe I am rehearsing my future.'
Miracles do not happen in contradiction to nature, but only in contradiction to that which is known to us of nature.
(SAINT AUGUSTINE)
The world is composed of givers and takers... the takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
(ROBERT FROST)
Love is a fruit in season at all times and within reach of every hand.
(MOTHER TERESA)
Website: www.advice.com
E-mail: abuali.alaa@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Egypt
Occupation: College Student
Age: 21
Member Since: July 7, 2006
Answers: 529
Last Update: October 17, 2014
Visitors: 47190
Main Categories:
Families
Friendship
Love Life
View All
Favorite Columnists
karenR
isis
Melody
Alin75
iloveaar
Exquisitechick
|
| |
|
does anyone know good research websites to search about iran and nuclear weapons? or a good database i could use? (link)
|
Hey, thats the link to the website I always use for anything I'm searching for, it really helps, contains lots of information.
So here is a link to exactly what your lookin for
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iran_and_nuclear_weapons
|
so i've been talking to a guy for about 2-3 months now. We've hung out a COUPLE of times it was fun we flirted,huggged,almost kissed & all that junk. A couple days ago i asked him if we're ever gonna go out & he said he doesnt know. I told him if theres nothing gonna happen between us we might a well stop talking becasue im getting too attached & i dont want to get hurt. I dont know which way he took it becasue before he would I.M me or comment me saying hey baby,boo & cue stuff that make me smile.ow its all "whats up" like we're friend or something? i dont know whats going on. I dont know what to do I've been thinking of asking him what he thinks of us right now & tell him how i feel but im confused as hell.
PLEASE help if you can relate & give me adivice on what to do & how to approach him. (link)
|
okay i totally get whats going on here, cause such situation practically happened to me once.
Here is the thing, when you asked him , whats gonna happen between us and what exactly is going on and so, umm... instead of him answering you directly,he in some kind of indirect way is making a statement and answering your question ,trying to tell you that he can't give you more than friendship, more than being friends, and his way of telling you that, is by showing it not telling it. so he changed his attitude and the way he talks to you and stuff, and maybe thats also a way so as not to hurt you, you know, he doesn't want to tell you so directly face to face, so he wouldn't hurt you.
And here is what you should do, since its obvious that he doesn't want more than that, more than friendship, then don't run after him, or try to force yourself on him, or approach him in anyway, talk normally, like as if you really are friends and nothing more, dont also get too close, let it be small talks and so, and stop questioning him about it. Don't waste your time with someone whose practically making it clear that he doesn't want anything more than friendship. So you wouldn't end up hurting yourself by yourself, and he just winning the game here.
But if you stick as friends, ask about each other, regular small talks, then thats an advantage for you for still having him, and an advantage for him for getting what he wants. Thats it, and then you move on, and you meet some other guy who would answer your question directly and want more than just friendship.
And if you do what I say, and after some time, he starts going back to flirting and all this shit, then he's probably been considering or thinking about it, and now he wants you and wants more than being friends.
See all you should do, is to just go with the flow, however he treats you, you treat him the same way in return, he wants to be friends, then okay whatever, but just don't wait around for someone or run after someone or stop your whole entire life hoping that this person would turn back on his heels and say i want you.
you get my point?
Thats it, if you need any further advice ,please be free to contact me.
|
|
I like this guy and he likes me back but we never talk to each other. What should I do? (link)
|
hmm... i know these situations really well. Thats when two people are involved and each waits for the other to take the first step.
But if neither of you come to have the courage to take it, then nothing is gonna happen.
So here is the thing, take the first step. How do you do that?? You go up to him, say if he's with you in any of your classes, from the club, at school in general, whatever, umm.. go up to him and start any random conversation, small talk, a compliment about something he's wearing, or umm... you could maybe point something out and crack some kind of joke. And then one time after the other, you'll be dragging longer and longer conversations, maybe then exchange phone numbers or emails, hang out a couple of times and so on.
And if you really are sure that he likes you back, then he'll take the second step forward, and will respond to you the way you expect him to.
Its really simple i swear, and people are usually friendly, so its cool. Take things lightly and step by step, and act real cool and calm about it, and things will eventually fall in place on their own, they always do.
Goodluck girl, and if you need any further advice, please be free to contact me.
|
18/M hey the names weak
I have a problem, my relationship with my girlfriend is going good so far, but I feel that I'm going to be the one that will mess up, what I mean is that I'm weak with girls and I'm afraid that one day I will go to go a party one day and there's girls all over me and I can't help but to flirt or god forbid sleep with some of them, I never cheated on my girlfriend but like I said I'm weak against girls, what should I do to prevent this from happening, I love my girlfreind and she doesn't deserve to be hurt, but I really like women also?
please help thanks (link)
|
hey, here is the thing, i have just like 2 words to say here.
If you really love her like you say you do, as in real love and as in, i care about you and i give a shit and you mean everything to me.
Then, there is nothing called 'weak' here.
Cause if you really have that much feelings for her, love would stop you from doing anything such as cheating, or checking out another girl and having thoughts of screwing her.
Flirt, crack jokes, fool around... .thats like so whatever, but if you come to cross that line, then your not inlove here.
I mean, even thinking of such thoughts, or that you could hurt her ,then you don't love her as much.
I don't know here but, there are so many guys like that, you know, you just like to party and fool around with girls and play with them, but you don't like commitment, or you can't handle it, so if so, then just face her with the truth and tell her that instead of hurting her, but thats only after you reconsider your priorities and think about all this again.
But on the other hand, if you DO love her, then you would find yourself able to resist the temptation of any hot chick, that you think right then, i wanna get into her pants.
Reconsider ,and contact me if you need any further advice.
|
Okay, this is kind of long and probably confusing...but please try to help.
(17/f)
I've been dating my boyfriend for ten months. I really love him and he means more to me than anything.
Last night my best friend was calling her ex from my cell phone and he thought it was MY boyfriends ex girlfriend, Jenny. So my friend played along and he was talking about something that happened with my boyfriend and jenny and he was asking "her" about it (while it was really my friend). He said that my boyfriend had rubbed all over her boobs and put her hand on his stuff and was just messing around with her a lot on the way back from a football game. Well, I guess she said she couldnt do it because he had a g/f (me? and it would be wrong. I dont know what to do, though, because my bf said he didnt do it and it hurt his feelings that i didnt believe him at first. but then again, why would the other guy lie to the person who was involved in it unless he knew it was us? agghhh i'm so confused. I love him and breaking up is a last resort, I just wish if it happened that he would tell me the truth. ANY help would be SO greatly appreciated. Thanks. (link)
|
hey i agree with teardrops7 there. I think you should confront your best friend's ex, and ask him directly about it. And if he goes all like, what the hell? and what are you saying?? or i have no idea what your talking about??
Tell him, tell him, that when he thought your friend was Jenny, your friend was just playing along at first, and when he started saying all this stuff about your boyfriend,you insisted on acting as if your Jenny, because ofcourse you had to know what the hell he was saying.
He won't fight with you or your best friend, cause he can't blame you for being curious about something as such.
And if he has the least bit of care or i don't know, even sympathy or something, maybe dignity, he'll tell you, even if he tells you half the truth, but he'll spill it all out, cause he'll be stuck and he wouldn't be able to deny any of it.
And if he says that its true and really happened, then make a move, and confront your boyfriend, and here, you'd have solid evidence then, and maybe you wouldn't feel that breaking up is anywhere near last resort, but if turns out something more like fooling around or a lie, or this huge silly prank, which i highly doubt, then whatever, he was being an idiot on the phone, and you and your friend played along. so whatever, and just stick around with your boyfriend, and apologize for having had doubts about such an issue.
Thats it.
If you need any further advice or help, please be free to contact me.
|
okay look i like this guy im 13 hese 16 yes, i kno age diffrence,anyway well a couple of weeks ago i printed out a pic of me and him that waws on my compuuter and he saw it rite and then today he was jokin around wit me and gave me a tatoo well it was a gum and inside it a little tatoo he gave it to me rite as a friend im guessing and then after that in the end of the day i was still holding it i didnt throw it away
just holding it
then i see him pas by and from the corner of his eye he was lookin at the tatoo in my hand and i was like.. sh*t then my friend is with him on the bus and she was like talking to him like i love emily so much! shes soo cute and pretty about me and then he just looked at heer and didnt respond.. do u think its obviouse that i like him? do u think he knows?
thanks
(link)
|
Hey, ya I guess he probably knows that you like him. Its pretty obvious there. But its cool, i mean, it could have been a coincidence or something that you were holding the tatoo at the same time he was passing by.
Even if he realized or didn't, this still wouldn't change anything in the way he treats you. On the contrary, guys like the attention, so he'll either just go on acting the same around you, or he'll make a move, how do you know, maybe he has feelings for you too. You never know.
So its cool, but you should act a little more cool around him, and get yourself together, don't be too ' oh i have a crush on you' you know, and don't let your friend go around talking about you and complimenting you to him, because he would be like, your sending your friend to talk good words about you, so i would seem interested more.
Just act cool, and don't make it too obvious that you have feelings there, and just act as a friend and joke around and do all you want , but make a statement that your just lookin for friendship.
okay, umm.. if you need further advice, please be free to contact me.
|
|
My boyfriend and i have been going out since june but a couple of weeks ago i broke up with him bc i heard he was flirting with other girls but then we stated going back out like a week later and the night we started going out again i heard that this new kid...(who is really hot and the smartest kid in our grade and the best at all sports) likes me and i really like him but idk what i would do if me and my bf broke up again because i really do love him and idk what to do because all these guys start liking me this year and i have no idea what to do!! (link)
|
No don't break up with your boyfriend, stick around with him. Cause was it definitely true that he was flirting with others, or was it just another everyday rumor???
Here you guys love each other ,and although you heard stuff, none said it was true or not, but you still were given a chance, to work things out, and get back together, then take advantage of that and make the best out of it.
And if you hear anything else of such,and make sure its true, then you have all the right to back out, and break up, and screw any other chances with this guy, that'll come your way.
About that other new kid that you said likes you and stuff, you can be good friends with him. Tell him your already involved now, if he asks you out, but you can still hang out with him as good friends, and have small talks and check up on each other.Just Maintain good relations with everyone, but at the end, your boyfriend is your boyfriend, and you love him and he loves you, so focus here on that. And then if you break up and stuff, you can do whatever you want with whoever you choose.
Thats my opinion, if you need any other help, please be free to contact me.
|
|
i just broke up with a guy that i was going out with for almost 3 years and this is actually the 3rd time that i break up with him but than the 2 times he started crying and i felt bad and i got with him but my parents dont like him and i think that is enough reason why i shouldnt be with him but than wen i broke up with him today he called me back and he started crying and telling me i'm being selfish i mean i belive im not i hate myself for putting him through this and he dose not understand that i need to be alone right now? Am i being selfish we are not young people we are adults help me (link)
|
No your not being selfish. YOu just want a break, you want, for him to cut you some slack.
But here is the thing, your parents not liking him, is not at all a reason for you not to be with him, cause if you really love someone with the real meaning of love, you wouldn't give a shit about what anyone thinks, or about who likes him or not.
So just think things over, cause obviously, its not everyday that everyone of us dates a guy for 3 whole years, without loving him so much.
So just think again, about him, about you, about you guys together, about all those memories, good times and bad times, about why your taking this decision, about whether you'll go back and regret it later on.
And if this is a temporary action or decision ,then tell him , you just want a break, a break to think things over, to be alone, to spend time by yourself. He'll understand, he'll understand that one.
And during that break, think about all that i told you about, and if you decide to get back ,then thats good for you and a relief for him, but if not, then tell him so, and back out, he'll get upset, he'll cry like shit, but then, dont' answer his calls, avoid him, and stay away from him for a good long time till he swallows it in, and calms down, and... moves on with his life, like exactly what your gonna do.
If you need any other help, please be free to contact me.
|
|
there is a foo fighters video that was like a parody of the old mentos commercial... does anyone know the name of this video or have a link to it on youtube? thanks! (link)
| |
Yup, the name of the video, is Big Me, from their first album which was self titled.
|
|
i've been in love with a guy for over 4 years even though i had was in a relationship for almost 3 years. about 4 years ago when i met him he had a girl firned and he was with his girlfirned for 2 years at that time. when i met him he made a move on me and he kissed me and he was stuck between me and his girlfriend and after 4 years he still talks about me and asks for me like how i'm doing and if there wasnt his girlfriend he would be with me and yet he is still with his girlfrined . what should i do beacuse i have dreams about him all the time and even wen i was in a relationship i had dreams about him. should i move on and let him be the ONE GUY thats always going to be in your head and the one guy that you love. HELP (link)
|
The guy has a girlfriend, and she's probably crazy about him and loves him dearly just like you do too. And one of the dirtiest moves is to steal him from her. And if the guy really loved you that much, he would have broken up with his girl a long time ago, but since he's hesitating means there is no definite love, or at least not strong love towards you to make him give his girl up.
But here is the thing, you don't have to take a step backwards, neither forward. You can just be good friends with him, and stand your ground,and make a statement, that your not to take a step forward, neither can he, except when he is no more with his girlfriend. But by being friends, you can ask about each other, and check up on one another, and maybe even hang out, make small talks and stuff. And this way, you have him either ways, without hurting a girlfriend that loves him, or without hurting yourself for not having him beside you.
And if this friendship doesn't work out, cause he wants more, yet wants his girl too, then you learn then, that he doesn't deserve you, and is just a greedy ass who likes the feeling of being loved from everyone, but doesn't actually love neither of you true love, or with real commitment.
But if it works out, and he starts thinking things over, it can be proven that he really does love you, cause you'll later hear that he left his girl ,and will then come running up to you, and telling you he loves you.
If you need any other help, please be free to contact me.
|
I know...its long, but PLEASE HELP!!!!
Okay...I dont know what to do. Im really really really into this guy, but I dont even really know him. He was friends with my ex and i added him on myspace. We only talked once on myspace and thats when he asked me who i was and we sent a few messages back and forth sayin what we were doing. but after that night (two or three weeks ago) we never talked again. Im always thinking about him though. I even had a dream ((no joke)) that he asked me out last night. Its getting crazy. I've never even heard his voice before. I see him around school all the time though. I know its all just lust but I feel like Im really in love with him. I've had a crush on him (if thats possible) since I first saw him based on how extremely cute/hot/sexy he is. && I've talked with friends who are friends with him and they say hes really nice and everything but hes kinda shy. Hes exactly how i pictured my "perfect guy" to be. I really want him to notice me but we have no classes together, and we never talk on myspace and I always get so nervous when Im the one to break the ice with someone, and honestly i dont know how. I dont know what to do. I know i should get over it or do something about it but I cant. Im just stuck with these feelings and I hate it. Please....any kind of advice will help...anything. i really need some help. (link)
|
Hey girl,
I don't think that you should back out of this or get over him, because, since your excited about something, and interested in getting involved in it, then go for it. Besides, its not everday, that every one of us finds their dream guy or perfect guy.
I understand how hard it is to take the first step, or make a move on to this, plus that he doesn't even know your feelings towards him.
So here is the thing, its probably bad luck that you guys don't get to be online on myspace at the same time, so instead, just leave him a message there or send an email or something, and talk normally, like your friends, or you know, ask about him, about school, what he's been up to. Just the same ol' friendly tone, showing him that your interested in learning about his latest news and making regular small talks.
He'll reply, cause anyone else in his position would do, even if its a girl or any other guy.People are friendly, they like to gain more friends, make new connections, and make small friendly conversations. Then one time after the other, start learning more about him, and you'll find him doing the same in return, learn what he likes and what he doesn't, and all such stuff.
And after that, there are two possibilities, either you, yourself, wouldn't like him after all, or would find him, as not the guy you thought he was. Or you will start taking steps forward, and he will do the same on his side, till he say... exchanges numbers with you, or asks you out, or at least, shows interest.
But here is the thing, such stuff takes time, sometimes alot of time, or sometimes just a few days or weeks. But as long as you have the will and enthusiasm, then why not??
Thats it, thats my opinion, it has always worked out for me, so you go girl and do your thing.
If you need any further help, please be free to contact me.
|
|
Hi im writing in again you said i might not be doing it the right way whats the best way to give a handjob? (link)
|
Hey, here is the thing, a handjob is a slang for masturbation, and thats the Manual stimulation of the genital organs (of yourself or another) for sexual pleasure.
So its like your masturbating for him, okay?
how does a guy masturbate?? He uses his fingers, to roughly rub at his penis, and usually from the sides, going continuously up and down with his fingers at the sides,and gradually rougher each time. And when you come to a spot , that arouses him the most, then focus on it, and that would make his erection then come faster.
Umm... Thats it I guess, you'll do the rest. lol.
If you need any further help, please feel free to contact me.
|
im 14 my bf is 15 and weve been going out for almost 6 months and we are getting very close
and a couple of weeks ago i saw his penis for the first time its smaller but i told him it didnt matter and i started to give him a handjob
and it took a little while for his penis to get hard is that normal? do guys sometimes have trouble getting erections? (link)
|
Ya they sometimes do, and thats probably cause your not doing it the right way, your not performing the job in the right way. But still, some guys do take time to get erections, just like they sometimes take a very long time to orgasm and so.
If you need any further advice or help, please be free to contact me.
|
|
Hi I really want to be able to make samosas but am having trouble wrapping it into a the triangular shape. Can you please give me a step by step guide or something of how to make samosas? I need urgent help, thanks! (link)
|
hey, its really simple actually.
You get the wrapping of the samosa which is long and straight, then on the edge of one side, you put the stuffing you want. then you start folding it in triangle shapes one after the other, a triangle this way, then another in the other direction. thats it . If you need any other help, please tell me, or if you need me to try and explain this further, i don't mind.
have a nice day.
|
|
ok my best friend and i hated eachother because of something happened since we loved eachother started about 2-3 months ago idk seemed like forever. today we talked for hours tomarrow theres a party he said hope to see you there before he left and also befor i asked if he was going he said HELL YEA will you. and us kinda hateing eachother started because of a party and tomarrow is the first party were both going to since. their like totally different kinds different everything. like the last party was a airsoft-running through the woods together...then goes inside and a certain game messed it all up. now its a swimming party at a friends grandmas house. soooo will it be different? what could i do if it happenes again which its a 50/50 chance but i told him ill go. and the 2 party hosts people are cousins one guy a total player and the girl my friend has never held hands with a guy but is into all the soo popular peoples which me and them arent to good together like oil and water, dont mix. but weve become close again within only the last 2 days. i dono what will happen. and what could i do if we like...get mad at eachother again?! 13/f hes 13/m party peoples are over 14/f and over 14/m (link)
|
Hey whats up,
You fighting,getting mad at each other, hating each other at a certain party, then making up again, then you thinking that since your going to a party again, then you will fight again, I'm sorry, but thats just really silly.
I know exactly how you feel about this, because i've been there practically in the same situation, and after it, I was like, how stupid of me to even think that. Seriously, you are not gonna get mad at each other because there is no reason for that,and these are totally different parties and at a totaly different time.
I mean.. are you like gonna freak out everytime you go to a party with him now, afraid that the past is gonna repeat itself?
Listen, whats done is done, and this was like a while ago, and you both coped with it and learned to get along, so just get over this issue, put it behind your back, and go to this party tomorrow, and talk to him and have fun together and maybe even go to the pool together and just enjoy your time, cause thats what parties are about, to relax and have a good time, not to freak out about going and meeting your own best friend.
Its cool, ight? and nothing is gonna go wrong, your just worried and you care about him too much, and your afraid that you could lose each other again, but its in your hand to lose him or gain him, so seriously just show him from the start that your there to have fun and enjoy your time, and you could still act careful so as not to cause a fight or anything, but don't worry, everything will okay.
Now consider what i said, and if you need any further advice, please be free to contact me. I hope all goes well. Goodluck:)
|
|
okay so i am a 16/f and im about to be a junior. my life is really hectic. i have a really bad attitude. and i get bad grades. like d's and alot of times f's. and i hate it alot! because i want to get good grades like a's and b's. and whenever my parents tell me to study or to do something i get mad at them. i have ADD so its really hard to concentrate in school especially since i always get picked on. i get mad and then start saying things and thats why i have no friends because people are always picking on me. i don't understand why. i don't do anything to anyone. i mean some epople think im annoying and i talk too much. and and because im so skinny. and i have no friends at all. no one ever talks to me. and whenever i talk to someone they start acting weird. and well i did have friends but they're moving. and i have no one to sit with. i did use to sit with these really nice black girls but like they talk to me in school only sometimes and they never call me to hangout. and i fell like no one wants me around. so what should i do? (link)
|
Hey whats up,
I know lots of people with this same problem, therefore I totally understand what your talking about. Now, from all thats going on in your life, your life doesn't actually suck,its just fine, your facing a few problems, but its still fine. At least, you may not see this, but that would only because your still 16 years old. And later on, when you grow up, and like be in your last years of college or start working somewhere great, you will make what we call true friends, and those friends wouldn't care how you look or how you act, but instead, they'll be there for you and love you and get along with you.
But right now, these dumb people you try to gain as friends, they may be trying to act too cool or better than you or anything of such, but really just screw them. You can't keep looking for friends, cause friends come by themselves by time, if you keep looking for friends and going up to people trying to start a friendship, they will act annoyed, but if you just act normal and talk to everyone and just be outgoing, then you'll find some people coming up to YOU and talking to YOU and wanting to start a friendship with YOU.
But before you do that, try to work on your attitude a bit. I, for example, have a very bad temper and i always snap at people and throw some shitty words their way, but there came a time, when my friends started to back out and people got mad at me and stuff, so I decided between me and myself, to work hard on controlling my temper, and that no matter how people annoy me, I still have to learn to cope with it.
And I'm sure that because of your attitude, thats why people pick on you, and find you annoying and they don't want to be friends with you, therefore, prove them wrong, and show them that people can change to the better.
I mean, like next time someone comes up and talks to you and he like annoys you, you should still control your temper, and try to talk as nice as you can, and soon, you'll do that on your own without having to remind yourself in controlling anything.
Seriously, thats usually why people back out, because of one's attitude, and you usually don't notice that, but its true. Why don't you try being the kind of hyperactive person, like fun and outgoing, and develop this kind of sense of humour, or simply even, why don't you try to act naturally, like forget the fact that your struggling to make friends and go up to people and join in conversations and throw jokes and act totally cool and normal. And it really works because people like these type of people.
oh and about the black girls you sit with, why don't you try to start a conversation about something other than school work, or try to call one up or like suggest hanging out after school...etc.
Last but not least, about your studying, I understand how having ADD could be pretty hard for you,but seriously you have to work harder on trying to achieve better grades, because apart from friends or school trouble or anything of such, your grades are the most important thing here, its practically your whole future.
And if you really are having so much trouble, try asking your parents for help, or your teachers, or like increase your studying hours and give yourself a more chance to try and concentrate, and maybe if their is a subject or two that interest you more and could grab your attention easily, try to work on them first to like get you focused on studying.
I know I said alot, and your probably lost, lol. But seriously, everything I said is true and if you consider it and try to follow with it, you'll get to do whatever you want, from friends, achieving good grades and certainly a better life. Although your life is already a pretty fine one, and your just making things harder for yourself.
If you need any further advice, please be free to contact me. I hope all goes well. Goodluck:)
|
|
Ok this is an issue that hasn't been resolved for over 7 months. My boyfriend which i love dearly really wants me to tell my family about him. He's told his mum about me but i haven't told my family about him yet. My best friend knows about him though. If he lived near me i wouldn't have a problem but the issue is, he lives on another continent. He was just a guy i met on msn and talked to for a while and i duno i never thought id fall inlove with some guy online but i did. So we decided to date. This is the first time i ever dated anyone online cuz i always thought "omg what loser would date online" but it's weird, i just love him. Whenever we talk online or on the phone he's always asking me to tell my family about him because he did for me and i did kinda make a big deal about him not telling his mum. I feel bad because even though i dont HAVE to tell my family i want to but its so hard. He does this home schooling thing since about a year ago i think because he was kicked out of school which made him lose contact with most of his friends and the rest moved. The only people he really see's are his mum, his sister, his baby nephew and his sisters boyfriend but i go to school and i have heaps of friends and then theres my mum dad sis and bro. I felt horrible about not telling anyone at the beginning so i told my bestfriend and she was kinda..well she hated him because she thought he was going to hurt me. But after afew months she grew to like him and it wasnt so bad. But my family..i dont tell my family personal stuff AT ALL and so its so weird for me to do. Sometimes i think he should understand if i dont want to but i did force him to tell his family and i feel horrible. He'd never dump me for not telling my family its just because i met his mum online he really wants to meet my mum and its so sweet. I need to know how i could tell my family apart from just saying it to them like "i have a boyfriend who lives on another continent..so whats for dinner?" Alot of you might be thinking that because we met online the probability that 15 year olds arent going to fall inlove over the net and stay together but i DO love him and i believe we will. We've already set out plans on whos going where to meet and whats happening and hes practically planned his whole life around me and me to him. i need to tell my mum so wen the time comes to eventually move to where he lives i wont have to make up some lame excuse and she can help me out with universities over there and stuff. HOW DO I TELL HER??? Any great advice will be fantastic. p.s sorry its kinda long. Btw hes 14/m/Florida and im 15/f/australia. (link)
|
Hey umm.. that was pretty long there .lol. But I just have a few words as a reply to your problem.
Now, in my opinion, i think your toooo young to really know what your talking about, and to know what LOVE really means. You see, i'm not trying to make fun of you or anything, because thats not why i'm here, infact i'm here, to prevent people from going through the same experiences I went through, I mean i got to know like what umm.. 3 or 4 guys online before, and everytime i'd think ' oh my god, i'm in love with this guy and i'll never let go of him and all this crap' and then i'd plan to meet up with him later on in the future , but then a couple of months or a maximum of a year, and when this guy's name would be mentioned, i'd go like ' who??' or ' oh ya, that silly childhood crush i had', and thats all you'd say.
Seriously, you guys are 14 and what,15?
Something like what your talking about would rarely be possible if we were talking about 18 or 20 year olds, but not 14 or 15 years olds who still do not know what love is and can not experience it.
Its cool to have a boyfriend in your age and everyone does, but its never based on true love, a crush could be possible, and likeness could do too and maybe even admiration, but not true love and plans of being together, and as time passes, of marrying each other. Your kind of exaggerating, and i'm telling you all this to try and point you in the right direction, cause if you tell your parents about everything you just said now, i'm telling you right now that your parents are gonna forbid you from talking to him again, and there gonna be like , that you wasting your time with him when you could be with some other guy from your school who you could see everyday and hang out with whenever you want.
And you know something, if he wasn't homeschooling and he went to a school and met people , he would have already found a girl to date, but its just because he doesn't go out and meet people and have a chance to know them well, is why he's online all the time talking to you and asking you out and making plans with you.
Seriously, i'm not making fun here or anything, cause he does sound like a fine guy alright, but thats not the path you wanna follow, and what i'm saying may not seem like something you'd want to listen to now or believe in, but its the right thing, and maybe the thing that you'd be repeating to others later on.
Just consider what I said, and for now, you should definitely not tell your parents to avoid any fights or incase they would not allow you to talk to him again, and if you need any further advice, please be free to contact me. I hope all goes well. Goodluck:)
|
|
17/f. It has been over a year since I broke up with my ex. And he is still my best friend. Since I met him two years ago he has been my best friend. I love him. I would do anything for him. I love him so much; I don't know what I would do if I didn't have him in my life. I want another chance with him. Problem is he has a girlfriend and they have been together for a year. Well, I want to tell him how I feel. I don't care anymore if I mess things up with them(I know, it sounds mean or whatever, but I don't). Part of me is afraid that when I tell him things will get weird between us, but we have been through a lot so that it might not. Part of me just wants to take the risk. What should I do? How should I tell him how I feel? I'm so confused. (link)
|
Hey whats up,
You telling him how you feel about him is not only messing up whats between him and his girlfriend, but its also messing up whats between you and him as bestfriends. Things will definitely turn weird and your friendship may also start to become distant and odd, seeing that he's already moved on with his life and made a girlfriend and is totally inlove with her and cares about her too much to break up with her and go back to his ex.
You see, he does really like you and respect you for staying as best friends with you even after breaking up with you, but if he did love you and wanted to be back with you he would have done that a long time ago, but its clear that he's trying to throw hints at you and show you that he wants to move on with his life and make a new girlfriend like the one he has now.
So seriously, i think you should back away and try to move on with your life too, i mean, i do know and i do understand and maybe more than so many people how you must be feeling now and how your totally crazy inlove with him and want him back so much to the extent of causing fights and a breakup between him and his girlfriend, but thats no solution. Because how would you feel when you tell him about your feelings and he'd go like, 'no we are just friends and i have a girlfriend of my own now and i love her and would never let go of her' and then a couple of days , even weeks later, he'll start acting all weird and odd, till he lets go off your friendship completely, and you'd have lost him in every sort of way.
So seriously, don't follow this path, because i did, and i happened to lose someone seriously so special to me and i still regret what i've done and feel guilty about it every second of the day.
And i'm here now, to prevent you from doing the same mistake.
Have him as a friend, a best friend, and do whatever you want with him, talk to him, be there for him, and he will be there for you, hang out with him, share total fun and do just anything you want, but most definitely, don't throw that all to gain nothing.
Consider what i said, and please be free to contact me if you need any further advice. i hope all goes well. Goodluck:)
|
15/f. For 7 months I was with my girlfriend. About 2 months ago we broke up & I was heartbroken, it's taken me a while to get over this, but I am finally ready to move on.
My best guy friend has always been there for me, and now he tells me that he likes me a lot. Now I am a lesbian, but I have feelings for him. I'm willing to try it out, but he is really experienced as in sexually. I've done pretty much nothing but make out with guys.
Do you think it's a good idea for me to be with him? Could I still be a lesbian and be attracted to a guy? (link)
|
Hey whats up,
Yes definitely you could be a lesbian and you could still be attracted to a guy, and thats because your not a lesbian, your actually BISEXUAL, meaning that you could hold a relationship with both guys AND girls.
And now, its totally no problem to give it a try with that guy, because obviously he likes you and you have feelings towards him, and that is also the perfect chance to seriously move on with your life and start something new with someone else and try to make things right in this relationship instead of the last one.
Umm.. I'm not sure of something though since you didn't mention it, does he know that your bisexual and that your last relationship was with a girl, cause if he does, then thats a good thing, tell him what you just said, that you've never gone as far with a guy but to make out only,and its cool, i mean he'll understand, and when it comes to sex later on, he won't mind that your not experienced cause he'll understand why, and he'll give you a chance most definitely till you know how its done and perfect it and when time passes, you'll be totally experienced in it.
On the other hand, if he doesn't know, which i don't think is possible, since he's your best guy friend, then i think you should come clean and tell him about it, because apart from liking you and wanting to be with you, he's your best friend and should know about it.
Thats it, so you should definitely go for it since there is likeness and admiration on both sides,and just give it a try, if things work out, then take a step further, but if not, you'll both be backing out just like you went in for it, and there won't be any broken hearts or hurt feelings cause its just a nice new experience your trying out for.
If you need any further help, please be free to contact me. I hope all goes well. Goodluck:)
|
16/f
Okay, so I have this friend that I work with. I hung out with him once and it was fun and all, but then he started asking me to hang out with him more. Last night, I THINK he implied that he's going to ask me out soon [as long as I understood what he said right] and I really don't want him to.
My dad is super overprotective and I don't want a boyfriend at all until I go to college so I don't have to deal with my dad. I don't want my friend to feel bad if I say no, and I don't want him to ask me out at all. I don't know how to avoid it. Any ideas?
Thanks in advance. (link)
|
Hey whats up,
I totally understand what your going through, and I do in fact have an idea of my own which I always used to escape the humiliation of people asking me out and I in turn, give them no as an answer. So thats what you should do, next time you see him, and your like hanging out together, start telling him about how your dad is always giving you a hard time, and how he's like overprotective and strict and stuff, and how you yourself made plans to avoid the whole dating issue and getting involved in relationships till you go to college, and when you tell him that, try to show him that its more of your point of view and more of what you want and not your dad. YOu get it? Umm.. he will be kind of disappointed at first, but then you could still show ( not tell) him what good friends you could make, and still DO hang out with him and have a good time and stuff, and after a while, he'll learn to cope with it, and he'll just let go off the whole idea of asking you out. Everything definitely takes time, so just do what i said, and then let things fall into place on their own. And don't keep thinking about the whole issue ,so you wouldn't started developing a crush on him or realizing that you love him or any of such, just act normal and cool, and leave things to be worked out as they should be.
If you need any further advice, please be free to contact me, and i hope all goes well for now. Goodluck:):)
|
|