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Pluto

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waterbender =D haha, I'm such a nerd.

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18

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July 7, 2005

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September 21, 2006

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Hi. I left and came back. But I don't like this column anymore. Check out my new column.

http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=thefish

advice

I KNOW THIS IS LONG BUT PLEASE READ I WILL GIVE 5'S TO ANYONE WHO TRIES!
okay so im 15/f. ive had a bf now for a year and like we've done a lot of stuff if you know what i mean but not all the way. its getting really serious, and he is 16 and a grade older than me. the other day i walked in on his room and like there was this other guy there so i started to make out with him because he was hot, but then my bf walked in but we stopped so he didnt see us making out but so then i left to touch up my make up and when i heard a bunch of like noises from his room and then when i came back they were both in his bed in different clothes than before and they were like really close. like really. so it was kinda like weird. but later that day he when i asked my bf about it he was like, sorry my friend is a drug dealer and is trying to get unaddicted sorry. but then i heard from my friend that the boys at our school when they say drug dealing they really mean gay. so like was my bf and him like making out while i was gone? what should i do? cus this would also mean i like madeout with a gay guy, and almost had sex with another gay guy..what should i do?!??!?!
PLEASE HELP!
I RATE HIGH!!

You may not like what I'm going to say. But the first thing you need to do is get over yourself. I am not trying to be mean when I say that, I'm trying to give you some good advice. You seem to think far too much about yourself. You need to break up with your boyfriend. It's obvious you don't care about him--you made out with his friend! That's a seriously unhealthy relationship, and you're only hurting yourself. You need to ask yourself what exactly you're upset about. Are you upset because your boyfriend made out with somebody else? Don't be. You did the same thing. Or are you just upset because it was a boy? There is nothing wrong with being gay, and many teenagers are experimental. Questioning your sexuality is difficult and confusing. I'm not saying it was right of him to make out with somebody else behind your back--far from it. Then again, you don't know that they were making out. Maybe they just changed clothes. Maybe the other boy really is having drug problems. Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that whatever is going on, it's okay to talk to you about it. But be prepared--he might say some things that you're not ready to handle. I think you have a lot of growing up to do, and there's nothing wrong with that. I can't tell you exactly what you should do--this is something you need to figure out yourself. I can tell you that it's nothing to worry about, and if you make the right decisions, everything will eventually be okay.

Good luck!

i know this isn't an advice question, but i was just wondering who was out of school already. it seems like rhode island is the only place going until the end of june. also, when did you get out.

I get out on the 16th, but my graduation is on the 20th. Also, I live in New Hampshire.

okay.
im 13.
i just got my frist period this morning.
i dont wanna tell my mom! should i keep it low for a while? or no..?
i took some of my sis's pads.

Just tell your mom. All you have to say is, "Hi Mom. I got my period." and she'll say, "Okay. Do you need my help with anything?" It's not embarassing. She's been through it too, remember. If you want, you can ask your sister how she broke the news. But she'll probably say the same thing, that it's really no big deal.

My friends sister, before she left, threw some bottles at us.
IT's called Primegra
I know you're supposed to put 2 drops under your tongue before 'sexual activity'
but on the back it says it's not garunteed to prevvent STDS.

sooo, what's it for?

Some men have trouble, you know, actually DOING the 'sexual activity', and that's what it's for. Don't ever take anything like that without permission from a doctor!

ok what are some good excuses to brake up with your boyfriend??

You really shouldn't use an "excuse". You have a reason for breaking up with him, right? Even if it's something like boredom (with the relationship), that is a legitimate reason. It will hurt a lot if you make up some excuse, so the best thing to do is just tell him your actual reason. And try to be nice about it. Being dumped is very painful.

hey i was going to get my hair done (colored) a certain highlight of blonde. The kid of blonde i want is NOT very "yellowish?" haha sorry i dont know how else to describe it...i think it is a really light blonde, but how would you describe this to a hair dresser? (color not highlight type)
Thanks :)

You can just tell them you're not sure what they want, and they can show what's available. They have books with colored locks of hair in them, and you can choose which one you want. Certain colors don't go well with certain natural colors, so if this is the case they will suggest something that looks better on you.

I have the urge to write a story for some reason, but I can't think of anything people would want to read. I'm thinking of like a chapter book, something I can make a summer project out of. But the problem is, I always have problems figuring out what to write about! I want it to be from the point of a teenage girl, something I can relate to being, and then have an interesting plotline that follows. Something about going through a hard time. It could have to do with relationships, but also something beyond that too. Set in the present time. So tell me, what would you guys like to read??

BTW, I am good at descriptive writing.

I will rate high and thanks so much in advance!

Here is something that helps me, and has been used by countless famous authors. Stream of consciousness. Take a pen and a spiral notebook, and write every word that comes to mind in the order that it comes. Don't worry about grammar, spelling, or punctuation. Write what you think. It helps if you do it in a place that is comfortable for you. You might also try drinking water and stretching beforehand, to clear your mind. It's also best to write from your personal experiences. Don't write about going through a hard time if it's something you haven't been through. Don't worry about it being bad or good, the only way to get good is to do it. If you want, you can write fanfiction. If you don't know what that is, it's making your own stories with the characters and settings from something else. Many authors don't like people to do this, but I know that J.K.Rowling and Tamora Peirce fully encourage it. One thing I do is one-sentence challenges. I pick a certain couple, and I'm given fifty one-word themes. Then I write a sentence relating to each word. Sometimes they link up, other times they are one story. It's also fun to write little 100-word stories, which you can also link up into one big story broken into 100-word sections. Writing is not easy. You are going to fail many times before you write something halfway decent. But don't stress--it's supposed to be fun!

*facepalm* I just realized that that wasn't your question, but I'm leaving it up because it's some of the best advice I've ever given. Okay. What I like to read. Well, it varies. I like classic novels, like "Jane Eyre", "Great Expectations", and "My Antonia". I like things set in historical settings, espcially when they're in Asia. I modern young adult books, such as "Flipped" and the "Gossip Girls" series. And I love love. I'm a huge fan of sappy romance. But don't try to copy the way other people write. Read a lot of different things, and they'll automatically influence your writing. And don't try to cater to what other people want. Write for yourself first, and if others like it...good for them!

Your fellow writer,
Tasuki ;-)

okay my friend she's 15 and she really likes her boyfriend and stuff and she talked to his friends and they said that he is only dating her for 2 reason: to make out with her and to make someone else jealous. I would try to help her more but i don't know what to do. She then asked him if it was true and he got mad. If you guys read this answer asap i need your help as soon as possible. If your a "guy" then i'd love to hear your advice to thanx :)

Yes, I think he is using her. However, my personal experience shows that this isn't something you should meddle with. I know you care about your friend, but she needs to be able to make her own mistakes. If a guy is a jerk, he always has a way of telling you. Your friend just wasn't paying attention. She's going to go through a lot of conflicting emotions. You'll probably hear her say, "I forgive him, even though it hurt. I know he loves me." She'll probably ask you what she should do. Go ahead and tell her that she's making a big mistake, and that she should break up with him for good, but be warned that it probably won't do anything. In the end, she's going to make her own decision. It's going to hurt her for a while, but she'll live. Hopefully, it will make her a little smarter, and next time she'll make the right choice. But that may take time, and a few more boyfriends. I've been in your situation quite a few times, so believe me when I say that there is nothing you can do to stop her from doing what she wants. If you want to be a good friend, stay by her side with tissues and hugs at the ready. She has a perfectly good brain to tell her what to do, she has you to comfort her and cheer her up.

im 15
this happened a while ago but i still am not sure...so my bf fingered me then a week later broke up with me...
what im asking is: is fingering a big deal?

thank you

It's a big deal if you think it is. Don't regret anything. You did it, it's in the past, oh well. Your boyfriend, like many young guys, was afraid of commitment. He probably didn't know what he wanted and thought that fingering you would make him eternally happy. When it didn't, he decided that the relationship wasn't working and backed out. Either way, it's only a big deal if you make it that way. Try to put it behind you. I'm not saying you made a mistake or anything, it's your choice to view however you want. If you think it was a mistake, maybe you'll make a different choice next time. But if you don't think it's anything to worry about, then there's really no problem. =)

if a guy you are making out with puts his hands on your boobs like ONTOP of your shirt, not under it, is that sexual harrasment or assault? what if while youi were making out he put his hands in the back pocket of your jeans and squeezed your butt? is that harrassment? thanks so much!

It's only harassment if you didn't want him to do it. If you gave your consent, it's perfectly okay. If he does something you don't like, tell him to stop, and if he doesn't stop, kick him in the groin and find a better guy.

why do cows have spots?

Same reason that tigers have stripes, I suppose.

I once saw some cows that were all black, except for one white stripe in the middle. Like Oreos. So I think it's only a certain breed that has spots, the same way that humans have different skin colors.

i live in a low income apartment..all of my friends live in big houses. i hate living in a crapy apartment in a rich neighborhood. especially my crush! we talk a lot (hes an only child). and i always hear about his escalades and BMWs and i HATE IT! because i have a crapy car and i wish i wasnt ashamed of were i come from. i used to live in a crappy neighborhood but that was okay because i was the rich one of the poor people (even though then we were poor) now i have to transition to being on of the poor people. again. and i HATE IT! what can i do to change this feeling?

Try to focus on how lucky you are. You have a home, you have a car, you have people who love you. There are so many people in the world who don't even have that last one. So you don't have pretty things. That's okay. A person's worth isn't measured in how great their car is. If it bothers you when they talk about this things, just tell them so, and change the subject to something you can all relate to. Be thankful for what you have and proud of who you are.

15/F
Today in health we watched "the cycle of life" or something, about babies being born. Well ..I know how they are and stuff, but in this video they showed EVERYTHING, like and, I think I'm scarred, I always wanted to have kids before this, but now I'm thinking I dont want to, since it grossed me out so much, and my health teacher said it hurts a lot. And from what I saw, ew.. and blah.

Do you think I will change my mind later in life? Because I want kids, but blah it seems gross..I'm young, so I will most likely change my mind about kids later right?

You still have a long time before you have to make that decision. You might change your mind, or you might not. I'm just almost eighteen, but I've already made up my mind, and that's that I don't want to get pregnant. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to have children. It's just my personal opinion, but I've decided that adoption is better. Why? Because I think that the world is over-populated, and there are a lot of children without parents that could use some. And also because I, like you, think that pregnancy is disgusting.

Like I said, you still have a lot of time to decide. So do I, actually. There's a chance I might change my mind, but I highly doubt it. Still, it never hurts to consider the options early on. http://www.wacap.org/Default.asp has a lot of information about adoption. I highly reccommend it.

I don't think there's enough questions on advicenators that mention abortions. I assume there's more females on this site then males, so why does it seem like there are mainly pro-life supporters? We're women. Women with so many choices and laws that allow us those choices. I agree in having your own opinion, but never force it onto someone else. If someone is considering an abortion, why talk them out of it, bringing it up as a sin and disgusting? I'm proud to be pro-choice & you'd think nowadays more women would be. Why aren't you?

When somebody gives advice that is from a pro-life perspective, they're not forcing their opinions on anyone. They're just giving advice based on what they would do in that situation, and possibly their own experiences. That's why this site is here. You can just give your own advice based on your opinions. If somebody asked, "Should I get a tattoo?" one person would say, "No--you could get a disease from the needle." while another person would say, "Yes, it's a wonderful way to express yourself." And even though abortion is a much more political topic, it's basically the same thing. The two people gave different answers based on what they know and believe. The point of considering options is to weigh the pros and cons, and different kinds of advice from different people can help do that.

If you want girls to ask you about abortion, you can type in your profile, "I'd really like to help any pregnant women who aren't sure about all the choices available to them." After that, it's just a matter of getting your rating up and becoming the featured columnist, so that people will see you.

As for your last question, I do happen to be pro-choice, but I rarely go out of my way to broadcast this. The only reason I'm saying it now is because it's relevant to your question, which I want to answer as best I can. Remember, it's not just homophobic pro-life fundamentalist religious nuts who force their beliefs on people. And being pro-life is also a choice! You talk about not forcing your beliefs on people, but what were you trying to do when you posted this? I'm not trying to bash you--I'm saying this from experience. When I was just a tad younger, I thought I was "open-minded", and I hated all Christians because they were "close-minded". Luckily, there was an amazing woman in my life--a Christian woman who was the exact opposite of close-minded--to open my eyes to my own ignorance. The "Why aren't you?" at the end isn't so different from a politician that wants your vote, or a beer company that wants your money.

Now, to answer the question in the subject line. Why delete this question? Well, for one, because it's not an advice question. This site doesn't really allow questions like yours--it's for people who need help with problems. Websites such as livejournal.com, deadjournal.com, and myspace.com would be better for this type of thing. Also, it might get marked down by the level I moderators. If a question gets enough ones, it is automatically deleted.

Okey, here's the thing. I can't sing.
No really, not that I don't sing GOOD, it's just that I sing...really bad. Like, really.
It sounds awful. Not that I think anyone would make fun of me..but still, I need to ask this question.
I've always been the shy quiete girl. And I don't want to be anymore. I want to be seen as a happy & loud person! So my class is doing this kareoke thing, and I want to be happy 6 up for anything 6 justa fun loving girl..but I can't sing!
So is there any fun or cool way of saying no to singing in front of the class? If I just say no everyones going to be all "c'mon, don't be like that.." not that they're gonna pressure me, but I'm going to feel like the boring girl who doesn't know how to have fun.
So can I say it in a fun way and turn this to my advantage?
Or atleast in a cool way so people will keep talking to me,. or atleats find me interesting??
Thank you.

Karaoke was invented in Japan, and I believe it was started by businessmen who wanted to relax after a long day at work. In America, people who can't sing don't like to flaunt that fact, but in Japan that's part of the fun. The point of it is actually to sing badly, and just enjoy it. If you want to get by in life, you have to be able to laugh at yourself. If you don't sing, it's not that you'll look boring, but you'll be denying yourself a good time. I've done it. My voice is horrible, and I'm shy like you, but I had a lot of fun. I suggest that you do it, but if you really don't want to, don't try to be 'cool' about it. Just say that you don't want to, and people should respect that. Nobody's going to hate you for not doing it, but like I said, doing it is a lot of fun so I think you're ripping yourself off.

Ok so when I go underwater it always hurts my nose, anything tips you can give to help me? I am not trying to wear those geeky goggles or plug my nose everytime I submerge! I cannot blow out of my nose underwater just incase your were wondering! so if so anytips? is there a feeling I should get to know im readyy and my nose isnt gonna hurt?

I'm sorry, but you only have three options. The first is to not go underwater. The second is wearing those "geeky" goggles, and the third is holding your nose. These are the only ways that you can protect your nose. The safest one that still allows you to go underwater is wearing the goggles. I have never seen anyone insulted because of them, and maybe some cute boy who has the same problem will come over and ask if he can borrow them. ;-)

ok this is kinda weird...
i have this thing under my arm pit and it hurts really bad
i asked my mom what it was but she isnt sure
it goes far down into my skin and i thought it was like a bug bite or something but its goes really far down and i dont know what it is
any ideas what it could be?

oh and its not from shaving and its isnt a pimple either

It's probably an ingrown hair. I get them once in a while. Don't worry, it'll go away after a day or so.

That's about it. It's ticking me off. I see a sign in spot, but not a sign up spot.

If you click on the sign in link, it will say "Not a member? Click here to sign up."

Ok so im only 13 but im in love i've been with this guy he's 15 i've known him since i was 3 he asked me to marry him because he said he loves me what should i do

You are way too young! You have many years of growing up to do, and so does he. You are both going to change a lot of over those years, and might fall out of love. It's WAY too early to make a commitment like that, and besides, it's against the law for anyone under eighteen to be married without permission from their parents, so you'd have to wait five years anyway. I'm also a little concerned about this boy. I've never met a fifteen-year-old boy who wanted to make a commitment as serious as marriage. But I have known a few who were real creeps. My friend's boyfriend said that he wanted to marry her, but really he was taking advantage of her. It was just a line that he was using to keep her around because he liked the sex. You have to be able to defend yourself. Some guys are like that, and this boy sounds extremely sketchy to me. Tell him that you're not ready for that, and if he keeps pressing, you need to break it off with him before you get hurt. Although, it's possible that you misunderstood him, and what he was saying was "Someday I'd like to marry you." You might want to ask him what he meant.

now be honest when you see a person with acne or just some pimples maybe just a break out ... what do you think of them? do they seem ugly to you? would you talk to them even? become their friend? or are you grossed out and do you judge them right away, even if they are really pretty but have acne?

It doesn't matter to me. I have a lot of acne, and most of the people at my school do. It's just something that happens to most teenagers. Sometimes if somebody is really bad I think to myself, "I wish he would try to do something about that." but other than that it doesn't really matter. Honestly, I never value a person based on their looks. We're all people.

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