BIOGRAPHY:
My name is Carrie, and I just recently turned 25. I've been told that I give excellent advice, so I created this column last year with the intention of helping as many people as possible. Although I do believe I succeeded, I ultimately turned my back on this column when I discovered just how cruel and thankless some people can be. Almost one year later a lot has changed. I've gained a whole new perspective on life and the world around me. I'm much more positive, sympathetic, and willing to listen when people truly need help. So now I've decided to come back and focus my attention on the individuals who are truly in need of advice.
ADVICE:
I'm very genuine when it comes to giving advice. I try to be sympathetic to the person asking the question, but I don't ever sugar coat things. I've learned quickly that many people who ask for help don't really want advice - they want someone who will say what they want to hear. Sorry, but you're not going to get that with me. I'm not here to make friends (if a friendship happens though, yay for me!). You'll always get the truth from me whether you like it or not. While the truth may sting just a bit to begin with, it will absolutely set you free in the long run. If you want to be lied to, please seek advice from somebody else.
CONTACT INFO:
If you like my advice and have additional questions for me, click on the link right underneath this profile that says "Ask Me A Question." If you leave your follow-up question for me in my feedback, I have no way of replying to it. Please use the link. Also, I have an e-mail address where people can get in touch with me if they need to. Feel free to use it.
IMPORTANT:
This may be a hobby in some people's eyes, but I don't like it when people waste my time regardless of whatever it is I'm doing, which in this case, is providing a free service out of the kindness of my heart. So please don't ask me stupid questions, and please make an effort to type sensibly so that I can read and understand your question. I know there are a lot of young people on this site, but that's no excuse to type like you're brain dead. Proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation is highly appreciated with me. The more intelligent your question is, the more intelligent of a response you'll get from me.
ABOUT ME:
Here are some facts about me. I like pop music (especially Madonna). I like horror movies (especially Scream). I like to chat (on MSN). I love to write (poetry, screenplays, short stories). I love shopping (Best Buy). I'm a gamer (I'm better than a guy - Xbox 360 all the way). I have a MySpace (Click "Ask Carrie" for the link). I love my doggies (I have 2). I'm not a bitch (...well, sometimes). I love to laugh (and sometimes I pee a little when I do). It happens.
Website: Ask Carrie
E-mail: soundslikepink@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: South Carolina
Occupation: What's that?
Age: 25
Member Since: June 10, 2007
Answers: 195
Last Update: September 13, 2008
Visitors: 17102
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ok so this guy that ive known for years just asked me out. were best friends, and i know i kinda like him, and he likes me. i just dont want a relationship to ruin our friendship. what can i do? (link)
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The first step is to tell him exactly what you just told us. Then the next step is the two of you discussing the pros and cons of starting up a relationship. If the pros outweigh the cons, proceed with caution. If the cons outweigh the pros, don't risk it. If you can successfully start a relationship without compromising your friendship, it could lead to something very special.
Just make sure you think it through before you pursue it. A relationship that might not work out may not be worth the risk of losing your friendship with him. If you decide not to pursue things, don't worry about your feelings for him. Many people are attracted to their friends. It's perfectly normal for friends of the opposite sex to be attracted to each other, flirt, etc.
Don't think that just because there's an attraction there that you have to act on it.
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Before you read this, you must know I AM NOT A LESBIAN (no matter what it says).
So... i like this guy called Marcus. Me and my best mate Beth we were messing around one day calling each other lesbians. Some people over-heard it and they got from it that i'm a lesbian. So the joke went on and on. My mate Mat called me a lesbian right in front of Marcus, then he looked at me and just walked off. I said to Mat not to call me a lesbian any more because you said it in front of the guy i like and he took it seriously. He said sorry, blah blah blah.
Because i'm really close to all my friends and i'm allways hugging them and that. Chris came up to me and called me a lesbian and i said shut the fuck up, i've had enough from everyone else about that i am NOT a fucking lesbian. Then, my other 'so-called mate', Charlie said to Chris yeah she is ain't she. And i said your the fucking lesbian.
But that's something else...
I've talked to Marcus and said i'm not a lesbian. But, what can i do?!? Because i can't ask him out because i know this will still carry on. Beth says i should ask him out because what went on won't effect his answer, but i'm not sure.
Thanks xxxx (link)
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I agree with Beth - ask him out anyway. If he's worth your time, he won't be affected by these silly rumors and accusations. You seem like a smart, open minded girl, so if he he turns out to be a judgmental jerk, you can do better anyway. Also, stop protesting that you're not a lesbian. You're only drawing attention to the rumor, and constant protesting always makes you look guilty. Just relax and shrug it off. It started off as a joke, so keep it a joke. Don't turn it into a big deal now. Just continue to be the laid back girl that you are and everything will sort itself out in time.
Let me know if this advice is helpful and please keep me informed with how things work out for you. :)
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Me and my boyfriend had sex yesterday when he put the condom on it kept coming off like it was too tight and does anyone know a bigger condom?? Because we tried it 3 different times and each condom came off!! What should I do?! (link)
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Two things concern me. #1: You guys should not be having sex if you can't get the condom to work properly. That's like driving a car that doesn't have any breaks. It's dangerous and stupid. #2: Many guys, especially young ones, will come up with any excuse to get out of having to wear a condom during sex. The condom being too small is one of the oldest tricks in the book. They make condoms large enough to fit porn stars. I highly doubt that he's so large that he can't find a condom that fits.
For the safety of YOUR health, I'd strongly urge you to educate yourself about the risks of STDs and the precautions you can take to prevent yourself from getting them. Most STDs are life-long diseases that won't ever go away. They can make you severely sick and some can even kill you. A guy who can't even work a piece of latex doesn't seem to be worth the risk. Also, don't forget the burdens of an unwanted pregnancy. Do yourself and the world a favor and make this guy wear a condom.
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Wrong category.
Sorry!
Some of my friends are going to Six Flags and invited me. I really want to go, but I`m scared of heights + i hate it when rides go upside down like that. I scream for them to stop the right and I almost cry. Haha, it sounds pathetic, but when I was little I was up in some tree really high and this girl was trying to give me a boost, so i fell and broke my jaw. Yeah, anyways, is there some way that I can overcome my fear of this stuff so I can go? (link)
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You're associating the fun park with a negative experience. The only way to overcome your fear is by re-approaching how you view the situation. If you begin to see it as a positive experience, then the fear will diminish. Don't you want to put this fear behind you once and for all? Don't you want to go out with your friends and have fun? This is your big chance to accomplish both. This is an exciting opportunity to go back and face (and possibly) overcome your fears. When you view the situation from a positive perspective like that, it seems less scary and more exciting.
I hope you have a great time! Keep me updated and let me know how things go.
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I don't know where to begin. I've been having eating problems since September. Anything I eat that isn't the best for you whether it's pizza or a hotdog or anything, I feel miserable. I eat what my friends/family eat, or try to, & I get in such a bad mood & feel disgusted with myself. I've been eating 1200-1500 calories daily. I just don't know what to do. I exercise 3-4 days a week [running on a tredmill] & try to do my best, but I mentally can't take it. I always feel guilty for just eating. Basically eating anything other than fruits & veggies. Is there anything I can do? I'm afraid of becoming fat. It's my phobia. Any ideas? Thanks (link)
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Instead of focusing on the food you put into your body, you need to focus on the thoughts you put into your head. Obsessing and beating yourself up over what you eat isn't the proper way to keep yourself healthy. You need to learn to love yourself, accept yourself, and ignore those negative thoughts that make you feel bad, guilty, stressed, or afraid.
By dwelling on these negative thoughts, you're feeding them and giving them much more power than they deserve. In return, you feel depressed, probably tired and/or sluggish, possibly anxious, and you're probably not sleeping as well as you could be. You need to refocus your attention elsewhere and re-prioritize.
Once you begin to treat yourself more kindly, you'll let go of this obsessive need to eat a specific way, and you'll feel a lot better about yourself. Instead of counting calories, begin keeping a journal and write down your negative thoughts (such as: I ate something I shouldn't have and now I'm going to gain weight. I'm such a loser) and track down how many negative thoughts you're having a day. I guarantee the results will astound you.
With all the untrue, unkind things we tell ourselves virtually every minute that make us feel awful and not good enough, it's no wonder why our society is obsessed with antidepressants which keep those negative thoughts from sinking in. Lucky for you, you're on the right path because exercise is a wonderful pick me up!
Unfortunately, exercise alone isn't enough. You need to begin to exercise your positive thinking and learn to comfort yourself and make yourself feel good. Reading only your question, I see numerous things that you should be proud of about yourself - you seem responsible, determined, ambitious, disciplined, etc.
Imagine using those qualities to make yourself feel good.
Going back to the journal, immediately after you've written down your negative thought, write down a positive replacement thought (such as: So what if I ate something I shouldn't have? I'm exercising and maintaining a healthy balance. I'm doing a good job.). It might be difficult at first, and you may not believe it, but give it time. It'll definitely sink in. Remember, practice makes perfect. You've been practicing how to make yourself feel bad for quite a while. Now it's time to practice making yourself feel good.
Please keep me updated and let me know how things work out for you. I wish you the best. :)
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Ok..my parents have been divorced for about a year n a half. My mom is kind of dating and every guy that she goes out with..she makes sure to tell me that shes going out..just to keep me updated and let me know that shes seeing other ppl. Well my dad is a business man..he travels everyweek and lives 3 hrs away from me. He doesnt tell me anything about his relationships at all. Soo the other day i decided to look on his phone when he wasnt there and it turns out he is in love with another woman and one text said "be ready to meet your future step daughter" I couldnt believe it! She has a child too..she sends him pics of her child! Its mind boddling. Im so upset..what do i do? (link)
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First of all, stop spying! I highly doubt you'd like it if he was reading messages you received on your phone. Second of all, there's nothing you really can do but try to be positive about the situation. I know divorce can be devastatingly painful, but some good can come out of it regardless of how you feel about it at the moment. You might really like this other woman when you meet her, and you might grow really close to her child one day too - extended families can be a lot of fun.
Try to look on the bright side and keep a level head about things. Also, don't get ahead of yourself. They may be discussing future plans when they're together (that's what couples do), but that doesn't mean those future plans are going to work out. You could be worrying and stressing out over something that may not even happen. Take a step back and look at the situation as a whole. Are your parents still giving you attention? Are they taking care of you and their responsibilities? If so, they have the right to live their lives too as painful as it may be to you.
I'm sorry you're hurting and would like to do more to help if I can. Please keep me updated on your situation and let me know how things progress. :)
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I currently broke up with my lying cheating boyfriend, and I'm interested in getting out there and meeting some new guys to get my mind off of everything that has happened over the past few days.
Me and my friend are dressing up cute and going out tomorrow. We're going as a group of 4-5 friends, but we're the only girls. We're bringing the guys because we're testing the theory that when you're single, no one wants you, but if guys see you with someone else, they're intrigued by you...especially if the guys aren't particularly attractive.
What sort of places can we go where there will be some guys (around the age of 17)? We live in South Carolina, so there isn't a big amount of places, but we were thinking of going to this coffee shop, then to Bellacino's for lunch, and then we're going to hang out at the mall. Are there any other places we should check out? (link)
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Being from Charleston, South Carolina, I can tell you from experience that there aren't many places to go hang out when you're a teenager. I'm not sure where exactly you're located at in SC; however, I do know of a few places here in Charleston where you might be able to go out, have a good time, meet some guys, and not have to spend a ton of money. Here's a few of your options:
Frankie's Fun Park is an excellent place to go with a group of friends. You can play games, play miniature golf, ride go karts, etc. They have a nice little eatery inside, and it's the perfect place to spend a day just goofing off and having fun with friends. Plus, places like these are guy magnets. Just take a walk by the batting cages and you're sure to turn quite a few heads!
http://www.frankiesfunpark.com/
Carolina Ice Palace is another place that can keep you entertained for several hours. Besides the game room where you can win prizes, you can ice skate, play hockey, and there's also a kitchen that serves delicious food. For some reason, food tastes insanely good when you're cold and spending the day on the ice. There's also an upstairs lounge with comfy couches and big screen TVs.
I used to go there for two reasons. Reason #1: Watching people fall down while ice skating NEVER gets old! It's just impossible. Reason #2: The South Carolina Stingrays (hockey players) often use the Carolina Ice Palace to practice before big games. Watching those gorgeous men work up a sweat on the ice is a lovely experience every girl should have. Also, the guys are actually really nice and will talk with you if you're interested.
Use this to your advantage! Flirting with an athlete will make the guys around you go crazy with jealousy. This will definitely get their attention. And if you're lucky enough to score yourself one of those sexy Stingrays, who cares about 17 year old boys anyway? Regardless of your intentions, you'll more than likely find something really fun to do while you're there.
http://www.carolinaicepalace.com/
The Plex is a place I've just recently began to frequent. In case you're unaware of what it is, it's a night club / bar / entertainment venue. There's no age limit - of course if you're under 21 you won't be able to drink, but you can still get in. There's a lot to do there and they usually have some kind of exciting entertainment sponsored by 95SX. Recently, Lily Allen performed there.
http://www.theplexonline.com/
Other than those three places, nothing really comes to mind. If you live near Myrtle Beach or Columbia you have have many more options than those of us in Charleston. I might suggest bowling, which is always fun - bowling alleys are usually chock full of cute guys. Also, the beach, which is inexpensive, is usually a great place to meet and view some shirtless eye candy.
Keep me updated and let me know what you decide to do. Oh, and good luck finding a new guy. Hopefully this one treats you much better than the last one!
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So, I've been with this guy for a while and only one guy before him. And whenever I give him a blowjob, I can never get him to cum using just my mouth. It usually ends with him having to jack himself off. Any tips? And no website links please. (link)
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Just as some females are unable to orgasm through sexual intercourse, some males are unable to orgasm through oral sex. Don't take it personally. There could be a number of reasons why this is happening. Many men associate sexual pleasure with their hand (specific touches, the temperature, the grip, etc.) and find it difficult or impossible to climax without it being involved.
You might want to try using your hand while giving him the blowjob, alternating the movement of your hand with the movement of your mouth. Also, don't be afraid to talk to your partner. Ask him if he likes what you're doing and be specific. Consider asking him if likes the way you're hold his penis in your hand or if he likes the way you're stroking it when you're sucking him off.
You might be jerking him off one way when he's used to jerking himself off another way. This is a very important detail you have to pay attention to if you want to get him to climax. Remember, a blowjob should be a joint effort involving your mouth and your hands. Learn to use both to give your man the ultimate experience and don't be afraid to mix it up and try new techniques.
Bring some treats into the bedroom to add some extra spice to your experience. An erect penis can be a lot of fun when mixed with the right foods. Get out the ice cream and make yourself a banana split. Yummy! Toppings like whipped cream and/or chocolate syrup can make going down a lot more pleasurable for both you and him. If you want to get really kinky, get some Pop Rocks (little exploding candies) and give him a blowjob he'll never forget.
Or simply run an ice cube up and down your guy's shaft in between sucking him off - the mixture of the cold ice cube and the warmth of your mouth will send him over the edge. If he's still unable to climax, just remember that they don't call it a job for nothing, and some bosses are never pleased no matter what you do. As long as you put in the effort, feel free to pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
Keep in touch and let me know if any of this helps. :)
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my dog was like attacking a baby bunny and so ive kept it inside for about 2 or 3 days now. i gave it some water through a water bottle thing, but what can i feed him? he hass to eat but he barely drinks. advice please? oh yeah, hes not bleeding or anything on the outside..but i think my dog paralyzed his back legs because he cant move any of that, he just drags his back end around (link)
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I think you should take the bunny to the vet immediately. The most anyone on this website is going to be able to do is give you a guess - possibly an educated guess, but still a guess. That bunny is most likely in pain and needs treatment from an expert ASAP. Even if they put the bunny down, that's better than it suffering needlessly. I'm sorry I can't be anymore help, but I'm urging you to take the animal to get the help it needs. Please keep in touch and update me on the situation.
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there this boy that i liked for a while and well i found out that he had move and i was shock and everything and i still have feelings for him. So how do i get over him what should i do. (link)
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The best thing to do to get over someone you have feelings for is to keep busy and give yourself time. I would imagine that you've already given yourself time to grieve, which is completely normal. Now you're going to have to give yourself a nudge to get beyond the grieving state and to keep from dwelling.
To do this, continue to live your life as though you aren't hurting (fake it until you make it!). This might sound easier said than done, but if you keep at your favorite activities (maybe consider starting up some new ones), the pain will eventually fade away in time as you begin to heal and let go of your feelings.
This may seem awkward at first, like you're just going through the motions, but stick with it. You will begin to see that the more you lose yourself in your own world, the less often you will think of him. Here are some things you might consider to speed up the healing process:
Spend extra time with your friends and family - people who'll pull you out of your thoughts and make you smile. Start exercising and take up a new sport - it's a great way to keep your mind off your feelings, keep in shape, and your body will release a chemical called endorphins that will make you feel much better faster. Make sure you're sleeping correctly and eating correctly too.
You've made this boy your main focus for a while now. It's time to make yourself your main focus and take care of you.
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well i have acne and its not TERRIBLE but i do have it and i have scars and VERY oily skin. would proactiv really clear my skin and keep it clear? honest answers are appreciated i'd just like alot of input. thank you! (link)
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I've never used Proactiv, so I can't verify if it works or not, but I can tell you that whenever I want to try a product that I'm uncertain about, I always check to see if eBay has it first. You can almost always get what you want from there for a much cheaper price than you would anywhere else. Plus, if you try it and you like it, you know a place where you can always go to get more.
PS: eBay sells it and has lots of it. If you decide to use it, please let me know if it's effective and what you think of it. Good luck!
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ok so ive been going out with my bf for a few weeks. he is usually a pretty shy guy except around our group of friends, so i was expecting the relationship to not be very physical at all. but to my surprise he seems to always have his arm around me or he holds my hand or gives me hugs now. i really like it and im happy with it =] earlier tonight we were at a party and we went for a walk and he kept randomly stopping to give me hugs and it was adorable - i felt like a kiss could have happened there but i didnt want to go for it because i think there would be a lot of general awkwardness after it. like what do you say? i think just continuing to walk in silence would make both of us uncomfortable. im just wondering in case of a future incidence with this. thanks (oh and im 15/f hes 15/m) (link)
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You sound very mature for your age. If I were you, I'd go with my instincts. Instead of worrying about tomorrow or worrying about any future reaction he might or might not have, just enjoy the moment. If kissing him felt appropriate to you at the time, you should have kissed him.
Lets look at the best and worst case scenarios:
The best case scenario is that he digs the kiss and digs you. That'd be awesome. The worst case scenario is that it is a little awkward like you anticipated, and he's uncomfortable with you making the first move - even that's not such a bad thing. You can use it to your advantage.
If it does make things awkward, now you know for sure what kind of girl he wants and you can choose how to handle any future interactions with him based on that knowledge. Maybe you don't wanna be submissive, maybe you do - the point is that you'll know where he stands and you can choose what to do next.
Oh, and if you do decide to kiss him, don't worry about what to say after the kiss. That cute moment of uncertainty is potentially one of the most magical moments you may experience. Sometimes in life, nothing needs to be said at all. Let your heartbeat and the butterflies in your stomach do all the talking for you.
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i wanted to know wat the weight of a regular sized teenage girl be if her height is 5.5-5.6 (link)
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You can find out what weight you should be by going to this website:
http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi
It's easy to use and navigate through.
Just remember that there's no specific weight anyone should be. As long as you're healthy and happy, that's all that really matters.
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now. We have done everything sexual except anal sex. He has always wanted to try it but from my friends experiences I'd rather not. Recently I have been thinking about it and i kind of wanted to try it but I don't know how bad it will hurt. Can anyone share there experiences or thoughts to help me decide? (link)
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First of all, if you're uncomfortable with any form of sexual activity, you shouldn't be experimenting with it until you're 100% ready to give it a go. Not only could forcing yourself into this situation harm you psychologically, but it could harm your relationship with your boyfriend if you begin to view him as the one who talked you into doing something you weren't comfortable with and/or weren't ready for.
Second of all, if you are ready to give anal sex a try, I would highly suggest you experiment on your own first. This could give you a taste of what's to come without the pressure of having to go through with it just to please him. Many females agree that anal sex feels the best when you've been stimulated beforehand. The next time you're masturbating (with fingers, toys, etc.), begin to explore your anus. It's your body, you should know what you like and don't like with or without the help of a guy.
Third of all, there are various sexual precautions you need to take before you engage in any sexual activity regarding your anus. Most importantly, please make sure your boyfriend is wearing a condom. No matter how much you trust him, the statistics linking anal sex and STDs are far too overwhelming to put your health at risk. Also, know that not using enough lubrication can cause tearing, which isn't very pleasant. You can NEVER use too much lubrication. Finally, educate yourself about the practice of anal sex and make your experience an enjoyable, yet informed one.
You can find more information on safe sex and how to make anal sex a (more) pleasurable experience by doing some research on the internet or checking out some books at your local library (yes, those still exist!). Also, you can get a lot of great tips about sex (numerous forms) from magazines such as Cosmopolitan (and magazines of that nature), so make sure to keep your eye out. There's tons of information out there that you can use to your advantage, so be safe and have fun!
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i'm trying to lose some wieght and i already excersise and stuff but i think that eating healthier would help too. I never know what to make so i just end up snacking on chips. are there any fairly simple recipies for healthy meals/snacks?? (link)
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When you're trying to lose weight, you want to make sure that you're burning off as many calories as you're taking in. You also want to keep an eye on the amount of carbohydrates you consume from day to day. Carbohydrates should be a part of your daily meal regime, but too many carbohydrates will turn into sugar which turns into fat.
Also, pay attention to your water intake. It's a fact that many people aren't drinking as much water as they should be and mistake the early signs of dehydration for hunger. The average adult should be consuming at least 2 liters of water a day. This might seem excessive, but water is the fuel our bodies need the most to function properly.
While fruit is a great way to hydrate your body while getting your snack on, it's a great way to make you gain weight as well. There are a lot of carbohydrates in fruit - as many in one banana as there is in a can of soda. There are much healthier alternatives to snacking and hydrating such as sugar free Jello, sugar free popsicles, frozen diet soda slushies, etc.
If all else fails and you find that you're still craving something to snack on, go for the meat instead of the chips. Try eating a crab meat stick or a piece of sliced deli turkey instead of potato chips and other tempting but potentially harmful foods. Most people can use the extra protein in their diet and its much more filling without slowing you down, making you tired, and increasing your waistline.
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