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Secret Lover
Ok..my parents have been divorced for about a year n a half. My mom is kind of dating and every guy that she goes out with..she makes sure to tell me that shes going out..just to keep me updated and let me know that shes seeing other ppl. Well my dad is a business man..he travels everyweek and lives 3 hrs away from me. He doesnt tell me anything about his relationships at all. Soo the other day i decided to look on his phone when he wasnt there and it turns out he is in love with another woman and one text said "be ready to meet your future step daughter" I couldnt believe it! She has a child too..she sends him pics of her child! Its mind boddling. Im so upset..what do i do?
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what i get here is your dad isnt really close to you and doesnt see you alot,dont blame him,he didnt have time and most importantly,since he dont hang around you much,he doesnt know what your reaction will be like if you knew,he didnt want to piss you off.Just forget it,you need to be more open minded in this case,your parents are divorced,you cant expect your dad to live the resta his life alone now rite?thatd be sucha sad life for him.Your gonna get married one day and leave your parents house,imagine how theyd feel living ALONE.
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Your parents are divorced, and you need to get over that. I know it's hard, but you've gotta do it. I know every kid probably sees their parents lasting forever & then when divorce comes they're heartbroken, but divorces are actually good for the family sometimes.
It's been a year & a half. If you can be okay with your mom seeing people again, why not your dad? Sure, he doesn't tell you things -- but he doesn't have to. It's his private life & he only has to tell you if he sees it fit. If your dad doesn't think you need to know, then he's not going to tell you. I'm sorry, but you don't need to know everything about someone. You can write an autobiography on yourself, or a biography on someone else & still not grasp some of the innermost things about them. There's no way you'll ever learn every single thing about someone.
Instead of getting pissed at your father -- be happy for him! He's found love again, and that shouldn't bother you. You know your parents would always want you to be happy, so at least do the same for them. They need it, so please try to understand what your dad is going through. And stop spying. It's rude.
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First of all, stop spying! I highly doubt you'd like it if he was reading messages you received on your phone. Second of all, there's nothing you really can do but try to be positive about the situation. I know divorce can be devastatingly painful, but some good can come out of it regardless of how you feel about it at the moment. You might really like this other woman when you meet her, and you might grow really close to her child one day too - extended families can be a lot of fun.
Try to look on the bright side and keep a level head about things. Also, don't get ahead of yourself. They may be discussing future plans when they're together (that's what couples do), but that doesn't mean those future plans are going to work out. You could be worrying and stressing out over something that may not even happen. Take a step back and look at the situation as a whole. Are your parents still giving you attention? Are they taking care of you and their responsibilities? If so, they have the right to live their lives too as painful as it may be to you.
I'm sorry you're hurting and would like to do more to help if I can. Please keep me updated on your situation and let me know how things progress. :)
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Parents are jerks, especially when it comes to divorce. They soon start dating because hey, now they can, and when they meet someone they like, they want the kids to like them just as much. They can't BELIEVE that you would like the person they like! They don't understand that you had no choice in the matter, and you might like some time to think about it.
Anyway, you don't HAVE to like anyone you don't want to, but you do have to be POLITE> That is required at all times. Everyone should at least be polite. She may try and win you over, and you'll see through it. She just wants you to like her cause she knows that it will strengthen her relationship with your dad is you do like her. But hey, that is there problem. They are probably going to do what they want anyway, whether you like to or not. I don't blame you for being upset.
And who knows, maybe you will like her, or at least like her kid. Let's hope her daughter isn't a spoiled brat.
good luck.
Michele
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