I think you should check out:

www.Gurl.com

It's a great site that explain sex, love, morals and just about every problem you can go through as a teen.

It's not GURLZ.COM like the other columnist said, just Gurl.

-TheTeenGirl

I know you're afraid of the pain you'll have if you put an end to him being your boyfriend. For me, this is very understandable.

However, you both don't get to have a lot of time together and it seems that you both are only friends because he calls you every once in a while and the conversation isn't for very long. And when you add the fact that there was a past problem where he cheated, then you'll probably spend your summer stressing about it. Now, cheating can be forgiven, but when it comes to how he makes it up to you and and he's really not because he doesn't call back when he says he will.

In my opinion, it already seems to be the end. It sounds like it's slowly dying and things are just waiting for one of you to call it quits. I know how much you want to make things work and it hurts you a lot just thinking about breaking up, but I think you deserve someone whose going to show you he cares and loves you. First boyfriends are always the toughest to get over, but don't ever think that the pain won't go away. You'll have a lot of mixed feelings about this and you might feel regretful. Just don't let those regretful feelings convince you that you've made a mistake. I think that if anything should happen, he should make his move and prove to you that he wants you as his girlfriend still.

-TheTeenGirl

I'm not sure what exactly you're asking, but what I have to say might help.

Masterbating is normal. It's kind of our way of finding what we desire and want sexually. Everyone is curious about sex, so that kind of cures our curiousity for it. Everyone does this. I know it's embarassing but that's why nobody talks about it. It's private and it's not something people share. So truthfully theres no reason to try stopping this unless it really bothers you. but just keep in mind that you are not the only one who does this.

About your period, it has nothing to do with masterbation. It's normal that you don't have your period just yet. It comes at certain times for different girls. Your period will help you have a baby, so if you don't have your period and you are sexually active you can't become pregnant. The wetness in your panties that you feel is probably vaginal discharge and that's normal too. If you find a lot of this happening, you might want to consider buying panty liners. They absorb that stuff you have so that your underwear won't get so dirty so fast. If you have anymore questions on this subject, don't be afraid to post back.

-TheTeenGirl

I'm not sure how long you've been with Alex, but fighting is normal in relationships. A lot of times, you'll go through a tough phase where the fighting is constant and you'll be fighting about everything and at times you won't even remember how the arguement got started.

What can help sometimes is taking time apart. When you spend a lot of time with someone, you start to get on each other's nerves.

You should also try changing the way you fight. When something bothers you, start out like this, "I felt ______ when you________" That way he'll know what exactly bothered you and how it made you feel. It's easier and he won't feel threatened or angry when you yell. If you find that Alex is not taking your feelings seriously when you say something along those lines calmly, then you should go home or hang up the phone with him. That way, he'll know that the only way he's getting your attention is if he's calm too, not angry and yelling.

If you feel like the fights are about something extreme and not just little things, then you have to decide whether that extreme thing is going to get in the way of the both of you being together. If it is, then maybe it's time to call it quits.

-TheTeenGirl

Your decision is obvious. You should be with Matt and end the internet relationship. If the only reason you want to stay with him is because you feel guilty of how much money he's willing to come and see you, then it's not good enough to keep the relationship going. It's not fair to him nor Matt. Maybe you both aren't official, but you've got something there, it's not innocent and that part is known.

What you have to do is just tell him that you don't want to continue things any longer with him because you've found someone closer to you and you feel that it's best this way. I know breaking up with someone is hard, but people go through it, and this is just another hurdle you have to jump and it will be worth it because then you won't be in this dilemma anymore.

Besides, close friends becoming a relationship is hard enough, so let Pete go and let things happen with Matt.

-TheTeenGirl

I'll start off by saying yes that it is normal to see how your boyfriend reacts when other male attention occurs, but you shouldn't try to force those feelings because they really hurt people.

It's normal to have jealousy in a relationship, but you don't need to see that feeling come over him just to see how much he wants you.

If you've been truly jealous before, then think about how you felt. It's a really bad feeling that nobody ever wants to deal with.

-TheTeenGirl

I think that you should concentrate on your problem and not your age that this problem is occuring. I think that it honestly doesn't matter how old you are when it comes to your self-esteem, so just get that cleared up first.

Obviously, you do really care what other people think of you. You thought your haircut was really good and you felt good about it until someone else didn't. I think that whoever really cares to say something that hurts you or says something flat out ugly about you, then they really don't have much confidence in themselves either because that's usually who those kind of people are. They feel bad about themselves so they put others down to make them feel prettier or higher on level than you.

Another thing is just a matter of opinion. Some people will dislike things that you do like. If they don't like it, they shouldn't say anything, but apparently people are like that and you will hear it even though it's wrong. It's something you have to put yourself through the test. The way I see it, it's life's way of testing you of what you really see yourself as. If you thought that haircut was pretty in the first place, then you know for sure that it was pretty and always has been. What you have to do is just look in the mirror and remember those good thoughts you had about the haircut before someone ruined it. Another thing is don't let someone ruin it for you.

If you let them get you down and upset about your appearance, then you're letting them get what they want from you. Don't you think they should be feeling bad about themselves because of how bad of a persn they are? If you've got the looks but not a good character or personality, then you've got nothing. You need to just develop the good thoughts you have about yourself one moment, and say nothing bad about yourself. If there is something you dislike about your appearance and you can't change it, then it's ment to be there to make you yourself.

-TheTeenGirl

If this guy is not even sure about whether he'll screw things up again or not, then it's not safe to put your heart back out to him. He has self-control and everything he does is all in his power. If he's using that as an excuse, then maybe he might be digging for an excuse not to be with you.

All that I'm saying is that he's not making sense. He can choose or try his best not to mess things up. He can choose not to cheat on you again.

Besides, I think you're better off moving on and starting new with a different guy. You know for sure that he isn't as into the idea of you both together as you are, and that's not a very good start. You both will have to go through major trust issues and that can cause a lot of tension. It couldn't hurt to try if he's willing to, but it takes tough work. Let him convince himself to try things again with you-at this point if anyone should make the next move, it's him.

-TheTeenGirl

If you talk to anyone, you are better off saying something to Red about it. Let her know that you feel like there hanging out more and more is starting to become something more than just hanging out and it hurts you a lot because you still have feelings for this guy.

I don't think talking to this guy would help at all. You have to confront Red about this situation considering that she is your best friend.

-TheTeenGirl

It sounds to me like you are leaning more toward the first guy you were with for 3 months. However he does have every right to believe that things won't work out since you were dishonest and dishonesty can cause a huge problem in relationships.

I know that your past few answers said the new guy which probably just gets you even more confused, but if you find yourself still wanting this past guy, then it's probably not a good idea to stick with the new guy because it isn't really fair to him.

Whoever you choose, always start a clean slate and be honest about yourself. If you feel like you have to lie or make something up to make you look better for a guy, then you aren't being fair to yourself. Let the guy you choose have a chance to get to know the real down-to-earth you and if he doesn't like it, then you'll notice and you can move on.

-TheTeenGirl

Anna Nalick- 'Breathe'
The Veronicas-'Nobody Wins'
Ashlee Simpson-'Catch me when I fall'

I hope those helped.

-TheTeenGirl

Yikes, asking the whole week off at the last minute will really catch your boss off guard.

But if this is somthing you have to do, then you'll have to just be honest and let them know that tons of events have been coming up and you take full responsibility for forgetting and you honestly are very sorry for the last minute cancellations.

I know you hate inconviniencing people and that's great that you do feel bad because you know it isn't right, but this is an accident and a big mistake you've made. So you'll have to learn to forgive yourself as time goes on and let your boss know that you are willing to do anything that can possibly make up for the inconvienience. You might want to work extra hours if that's at all possible.

Just forgive yourself and try making things as easy for you as possible. Learn from this mistake and if you tend to forget things like this a lot, then maybe you should get a calender or a journal and write down a 'To Do' list to keep you reminded of what needs to be done. Again, make sure you apologize and make it up as best as you can.

-TheTeenGirl

You probably once had strong feelings for this guy considering the fact that he was your first love.

The feelings you developed for him at that one time you were with him are so strong that when you were reminded of him a year later-it's like your body remembers those feelings and it all just digs back up because of that dream. But this doesn't mean you aren't over him, likely you are, the feelings of you missing him and feeling happy of this dream is normal.

Dreams will always confuse you whether it's about a past time or present or a possible future dream, but don't let your dreams convince you of anything. I'm sure you are still over this Ex, it's just that a year has passed from all of this and just now you got reminded of romantic feelings with him and that just makes you shocked and confused.

There isn't anything you can do about this situation except to just kind of laugh it off or ignore it. Don't begin to convince yourself that this means something. You and him havn't talked in a long time and it should stay that way.

-TheTeenGirl

If you don't really want to settle down for more than a month, then just try sticking around with flings and weekly guys instead of having just a boyfriend.

It wouldn't be fair to your current boyfriend to go around hooking up and constantly flirting with other guys. So you should let every guy you hook up with know that you are a girl who is having fun with guys instead of trying to have something meaningful if that's true.

Whatever you do, don't cheat. It's emotionally damaging to people even if it's not a serious relationship. Consider other people's feelings when it comes to all of this.

-TheTeenGirl

I know it's complicated to have feelings for someone and nothing is really happening, but if he had the same feelings for you I'd think that he would have already made his move or something.

I'm not sure what it is you're looking for, but if you know that he doesn't feel the same then all you can do is keep being his friend and don't be afraid to let him know it's ok when he does go through tough times in a relationship. If you do end up calling him an idiot and being insulting toward him then it will absolutely ruin the friendship, and I think that you'd rather you both have that friendship than lose it over feelings.

I know it's not fun at all to see him with other girls and watch him not really glance at you in that way, but it's something you have to deal with. Don't be afraid to try putting yourself out there to people too. They may not be your best friend, but it doesn't mean that they can't make you happy.

-TheTeenGirl

Your friend isn't being a good friend to you at all by even considering your ex-boyfriend as an option.

You aren't being selfish, you are reacting normally by being upset. It's one thing to see your ex with another girl that you don't know, but it's flat out wrong if his new girlfriend is your own friend.

What you need to do is tell this friend of yours that it will mess up your friendship with her if she does end up with him again. It's common sense and respect to not date one of your friend's exes if they aren't over them yet. It's nice that she's conidered to give you time, but you need to tell her that the amount of time you need is enough to make her impatient with it. You don't need just a few months, you need a lot longer to get over someone.

The fact is that you can't stop her from dating him, but you can decide for yourself that this friend of yours needs to be distant from you. You have to keep your distance from her when it comes to trusting or confiding in her.

-TheTeenGirl

I'm not sure why your boyfriend has to act differently around his brother, but if he's not seeing what exactly he's doing, call him on it the next time he does it and don't just let it slide by. If he still is acting up, then tell him you are leaving or hang up with him and let him know that you are too hurt to keep sticking around.

You know that he admires his brother and he's like a father to him in certain ways. Sometimes you should try stepping aside and letting him have some time with him alone. I don't know if that's the case, but make sure that you are giving them the time to bond and everything considering that they have a great relationship.

The truth of the matter is that if you can't express your true feelings to your boyfriend without him insulting you or getting mad and not assuring you instead, then he won't make a good boyfriend for you. There will be times when you'll have to speak up and let him know what hurts you so that he can try fixing it or assuring you of it somehow. I imagine that he is a great guy, but he needs to be a great guy to you around other people too, and he needs to be open with you when it comes to how you feel.

-TheTeenGirl

I know what feelings you're experiencing. I feel the confusion of what you are feeling, you aren't sure if anyone can help and you aren't even sure what it is you are asking for, I know those thoughts and feelings.

I think you aren't going to school because of your depression. When you are depressed and those feelings are constantly eating at you, you just want to stay home and sleep or get your mind off of everything instead of worrying about school or anything else going on. School is a scary place for you because it's where everyone is, everyone that knows you and judges you and it's a place where you don't want to end up crying because it's a bad experience to cry in front of everyone.

The truth of the matter is that these feelings can't be ignored because it's affecting your life and because it's depression. Depression isn't something that will heal or go away on it's own. You have to take care of yourself and find out why you are depressed or get on some medication if there isn't a reason.

What you need to do right now is treat your depression and ask for help. If your dad won't help you, find someone else. It sounds to me like your dad really cares a lot to have tried getting you to school, but it's time for you to reach out to people for help. When you are depressed, all you want to do is sleep, and be alone all of the time. You don't want anyone around and that's probably why you may not have a very strong social life. But don't be ashamed of it. The only way to truly heal yourself is to come out of the dark room your mind is in and get some help.

I am currently homeschooled because of depression. I had been trying to go to school and stay in school since I was about thirteen and I am now a freshmen. I had tons of struggles with staying in school or sometimes even going at all. I'd wake up and start crying, I'd end up begging my mom to let me stay home and I was a mess. It was horrible and I felt alone in everything. You probably don't have the option of getting homeschooled, but you have to tell people your feelings. If you feel like you are going to cry in class, get to the counselor or ask your teacher to sit out in the hall to yourself and try calming yourself down.

If you feel like the crying won't stop and you need to go home, don't be afraid to go home. Your school may give you crap about it, but it doesn't matter. If you are feeling depressed and upset before you even get to school, talk to your dad or mom about it so that they can know that you aren't doing well. If they do end up making you go to school, just go straight to the counselor to get some help. Let them know you are struggling and let them help you. The key to not feeling as depressed or as alone is to tell someone when you start getting upset.

I really hope that all of this has helped and please let me know if you have anymore concerns on depression

-TheTeenGirl

[EDIT: Hey, I'm not debating this with you, you know what I think so take it and get over it.]






I'm going to be upfront by telling you that you won't like my answer, it's not what you want to hear.

But when it comes to age, it really does matter. Not just because the older person may be in it just for the sex, there's an even bigger reason than that.

Being 16 is young. You are young. You are just now figuring out what you want in life or whether you plan on going to college or not. As for being 22, he's in a party phase, and possibly thinking about marriage and if not, it will be soon when you aren't ready. Both of you will start wanting completely different things.

You aren't in love. 3 months is nothing, nothing at all. What you are feeling is just a huge feeling of overwhelmed butterflies and exciting feelings you get when you are first with someone.

I just wanted to let you know that there is more to this than what you are seeing. And truthfully, you aren't seeing enough to understand.

-TheTeenGirl

A lot of people feel the same way about long distance relationships not working because it is nothing but hard work and that's the truth. It can be done and it can work, I can tell you that much about it, but it depends on how much the two of you work at it.

Likely, a lot of long distance relationships don't work because of the tough work. A lot of people tend to give up or find someone else that they can actually touch. Plus, this goes along with trust issues, how your friend will act around the girls near him, and all of that pt together as a whole. Trust is a huge issue because sometimes you may think they might be cheating or getting close to someone and it can make you really crazy because you aren't near him to have clues.

When he's saying that he believes long distance relationships don't work, it's basically not going to be very easy for him to adjust to everything. It's like him saying that he won't be able to survive it if it happens. The truth of the matter is that he's the only one who can convince himself that it can work, not you. What you can do is let him know that you really want something more with him and you'd really like to make it work and that's about it. I understand that you may really want this, but he has to want it for himself and be able to convince himself that this can work.

The truth is that there's no great reasons why long distance relationships work. Everyone likely prefers to see their boyfriend/girlfriend in person so that they can be involved physically.

-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.

Website:
Gender:
Age:
Member Since:
Answers:
Last Update:
Visitors:
Main Categories:




Favorite Columnists