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Coping with my friends death
I'm a 42 y/o single man. Less then a month ago my best friend died in an accident. I have not been able to come to grips with his death. I have recently been having thoughts of ending my life. This happens whenever I am alone, especially at night. I have lost loved ones before, including my parents and brother all within a year of each other, but I never felt this type of despair, or loneliness. I am afraid I may eventually give in to my suicidal urge. Can anyone help me?
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I think you are just going through alot.
Your letting their deaths interpet you whole life.
You feel alone and you feel you need to end your life because your love ones have died and you feel there is no one else to be there to comend you.
That isn't the best thing to do.
I suggest you go to a therapist.
You shouldn't kill yourself that will not help at all, maybe you need to get out more and have fun.
Try to get over the past and look into the future..
Im sure your mother, father, and best friend are in a better place.
How would they feel if they found out you killed yourself??
Try to go out and do things that make you happy and make you get over what makes you so sad.
Im sure their spirits still resides with you.
Hope i helped
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It is with a heavy heart i apologize for your loss. I could not imagine going through that so i admire your willingness to ask for advice. you came to the right place, too considering this site is mostly teenagers and teenagers love life. Although you are going through an extremely rough time, i encourage you to keep pressing on. This is just a temporary problem. Suicide should not be a permanent solution for a temporary problem. after events like this, many people turn to faith to fix their suicidal desires. if you are willing to find faith, i know some encouraging bible verses. try joining a group somewhere in your community, a group of interests, hobbies etc. You are bound to find things and people to get your mind off of this. Just remember, don't make a permanent solution to a temporary problem!
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I am very sorry for your loss.. Everyone has given wonderful advice so far so I won't be repetitive.
All the pain you are dealing with now.. if you were to take your life, think about how your loved ones will feel. They will suffer the same pain that you are feeling now.
Reach out to someone, whether it be your family, other friends, a priest, or help hotline. You don't have to be alone! I don't know if you're religious or not, but praying may help you get through. Maybe even try speaking to your friend through your prayers. It can be very difficult and emotional, but it may help you cope and ease the pain a bit.
Live your life for your best friend now. He wants you to be happy and live the life you have, not waste it.
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when you think about suicide, think about the people in your life that you could be putting in the exact same position that you are in right now from losing you. I know the last reason anyone contemplating suicide to avoid it is that you will "hurt everyone you care about", but from someone who's lost a friend to suicide- ponder this:
When you take your own life, yours is not the only life you are taking. Years after the incident, I'm still wondering when I will stop being so angry for a friend to take himself away from me. Don't make someone you care about as hurt and as angry as someone like I am.
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The worst thing you can do right now is kill yourself. It's terrible that you have lost a lot of people who you love, but there a people still alive that would be heartbroken if you would kill yourself. I've been suicidal off and on, but now after I've been diagnosed with Lupus and given only eight years to live, I've realized that I have a wonderful life and I'm betting you do too. Think about how dissapointed your deceased parents, brother, and friend would be if you gave up.
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dont kill your self. you have PLENTY of life to live. try finding someone who your can settle down with. i bet you parents and brother and bestfriend wouldnt want you to kill yourself. i know how you feel, my grandpa died and i felt horrible. but if i can pick up all the pieces in my life, so can you. make a list of things, for example.
1. find some friends/ join a club
2. have a nice relasionship
3. go to my FAVORITE place to get off im stress
4. help the community or tell your story to people with the same problems
5. dont think bad about myself
6. my friends and family really care about me
7. do good deeds
8. tell myslef that i can get through this stage
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LETS SEE HERE .
i KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL FROM EXPERiENCE !
iTS A H0RRiBLE FEELiNG TO THiNK THAT YOU ARE ALONE && WHY LiVE WHEN EVERYBODY YOU L0VE HAS G0NE ? i L0ST MY FATHER (WHiCH i WAS LiKE SUPER CLOSE WiTH) AS WELL AS MY BEST FRiEND LAST YEAR .
FEELiNG SUiCiDAL iS A NORMAL FEELiNG AFTER YOU HAVE LOST A L0VED ONE . GET SOME HELP . GO TO A CONSELOR . BUT iF YOU DONT LiKE THE CONSELOR SWiTCH . TRUST ME iVE G0NE THRU AB0UT 5 CONSELORS TiLL i FOUND THE ONE i GOT THAT UNDERSTO0D ME THE MOST .
i TiRED TO TAKE MY LiFE 3 TiMES . THE LAST TiME i OVER DOSED ONE PiLLS . i TO0K 23 PiLLS OF ALOMOST ANYTHiNG i COULD FiND . iNCLUDiNG PiLLS FOR CANCER WHiCH MY MOTHER TAKES . i WENT TO THE E.R && THE DOCTOR SAiD iF i HADNT GONE WiTHiN THE TiME i WENT MAYBE AN HOUR LATER i WOULD HAVE DiED . THEY PUT ME iN A MENTAL PLACE FOR 7 DAYS && i HAVE NEVER FELT SO0 0UT OF PLACE . i FiNALLY FOUND A CONSELOR THAT UNDERST0OD ME && EVEN THOUGH SOMETiMES SHE WOULD SAY THiNGS THAT PiSSED ME 0FF i WENT HOME && THOUGHT iT OVER && SHE WAS RiGHT . KiLLiNG YOURSELF iSNT THE ANSWER . MY FATHER WAS 42 WHEN HE DiED OF CANCER . BUT HE WAS G0iNG THRU SO MUCH PAiN iM HAPPY HE iS iN HEAVEN WATCHiNG OVER ME . YOUR L0VED ONES WHO HAVE PASSED AWAY WANT YOU TO SEE THERE PASSiNG AWAY AS A OBSTiCALE YOU MUST OVER COME . iT WONT BE EASY BUT THEY ARE THERE TO TALK TO SPiRTUALLY . iF Y0U EVER FEEL LiKE DYiNG AGAiN MSG ME .
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Well first off, I'd like to say I'm sorry for this devastating loss. You've lost many people and it's not fair. Everything everyone said is great for you and I'm going to go off that instead of saying what they are saying already just rephrased. You feel even more upset at night because it's dark. Darkness brings upon dark thoughts, so when there is light, you have lighter thoughts. There is a therapy called bright light therapy. May I suggest using a room that you have no use for towards this? In this room, basically all you have is bright lights. There can't be any shadows or anything so even if you close your eyes there will still be light. The elimination of dark makes your thoughts lighter and puts you in a better mood and levels your thoughts off. I hope that you don't fall to suicide. I believe if you talked to a psychologist and did this therapy and tried to stay positive you can pull out of this. Just remember, you're attitude determines your altitude.
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I have felt your pain before im only 14 but i have been to way 2 many funerals. Frist you need to just cry it all out. After you have it all out you need to think what would that loved one want you to do? definitly not end your life they would want you to pick up the peacies and move on . because if well you belive in heaven you will see them again when it is your time. But ending your like will not help if your loved one is lookling down from heaven they would not want to no that they caused you to end your life. I hope that this advice will help you just remember the good times you had with them and start a family get a partner and live a happy life you may lose many people in your life but there will always be somone to help you up when your down...
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My condolence on your loss, it sounds like your friend was someone very dear to you. It also sounds like you are struggling to function while coping with your grief. You need to find an avenue which affords you the opportunity to shift from your everyday awareness and level of functioning towards coming to terms with the loss of your friend, working through the pain and working your way out of the pain. Such an avenue isn’t going to be one that affords you the opportunity to resolve your grief issues in one sitting, but rather it should be a process, that allows you to break into regular and daily functioning and back in again to process your grief. For starters I would suggest you look up grief and loss groups in your community, where you can congregate with others who have lost someone dear to them and you can get ideas on healthy ways to cope with your grief. Just meeting with others going through the same struggles as you is comforting, because you know you are truly not alone.
When next you think about suicide, you should ask yourself, “is this what my friend would want?” You can find some comfort in honoring the legacy of your friendship.
Good Luck.
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You have been given a lot of good advice so far so I just want to say that it will take time to recover from this. It does hurt and it is hard to come to terms with, but you will get through it eventually. It may seem like life can't get any better, but it will and there will be days when you feel guilty for being happy - please don't be. You have one life to live now and bereavement counselling will get you through this terrible time. I wish you all the very best now and for the future. Take care.
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
TO overcome your grief, i would surgest that you don't focus upon the sadness, but to focus upon the happy times you spent with your family, friends. Even though they're gone physically, they are still alive within you and you've got to remember that. Do you really think that taking your own life is going to help?
Even though you may not see it, but you've still got a future, a future where you can live life to the full. Do things which you were going to do with your friends, family. Travel, see the world and enjoy what you've got.
If we think of negative energy, then we get negative thoughts, so think of happy things and you'll get good results.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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im really sorry about your loss. i could say i know what your going through and how you must be feeling, but that would be a lie. i personally have never been put in a situation like you are right now. but if i were, i would just pray each and every night. god works in mysterious ways and i believe that a little prayer can go a long way. this is the time to have friends near you, it might be good to talk to someone about what you are feeling. there is always someone there to listen. good luck, and i hope everything works out for you.
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I KINDA UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH YOU SEE I RECENTLY JUST LOST MY BEST FRIEND TOO. SHE WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT, WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR SUCH A LONG TIME. IT WAS HARD TO LET HER GO. I HAD THE SAME THOUGHTS LIKE YOU ARE HAVING DON'T WORRY YOU JUST NEED SOME MORE TIME TO GET OVER HIS PASSING. YOU HVAE TO REMEMBER NOT EVERYONE CAN GET OVER A LOSS OF A LOVE ONE AS SOON AS OTHERS VAN SOME PEOPLE NEED MORE TIME THEN OTHERS. ABOUT THE SUIDICAL URGE DON'T GIVE INTO IT. ALL YOU NEED IS TIME TO THINK THINGS OVER.
HOPE I HELPED,
Crazibrunette052693
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This may seem plain but this is what I would do:
Pray... God will tell you what to do
=)
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well i too has had problems with people dying.i too have felt like comitting sucide.
you just have to remember that your friend cared for you.just in some part of your mind when you get these urges tell yourself out loud that "you are keeping him alive.he is always there with you.and he wouldnt want you to do this to yourself.
hope i helped.
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I know how you feel. Honestly, you know deep down in your heart that your friend is watching over you. You need to live your life because your friend now doesn't have the chance. everytime you think of suicide you need to remember that in the bible it says that if you commit suicide that you will go to hell. your friend is in heaven. so if you kill yourself you won't see your friend. i think that you deffinetly need to go and live with someone until these feelings pass. Its okay to remember your friend but you need to remember that your friend wants you to live and is watching over you.
-E
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No one should go through a time like that alone.
you should being staying with someone that will guide you through this *phase* of greif. If you don't feel right doing that, call someone when you get those strong feelings, someone who will listen. There is a number you can always call its 1800SAMARATINS. They will be there to listen just listen to you and cope, if you dont feel comfertable calling. You can always go se a recomended counsler. Also think of your friend, im sure he wouldn't want you to feel all this awful, he doesn't want you to feel that sudden urge of suicide. Its not fair for you to ruin your life. Think of him as safe and healthy ware he is. Its stil your time to live, so maybe start writing your feelings down? if there is ANYYTHING i can help you with or you need anything else.
JUST ASK .
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When you are alone at night and you get to feeling this way, ask yourself, "Would best friend want me to feel this way? Would best friend want me to end my life, or go on with it?"
Grief counseling may be just what you need. I strongly suggest you seek that help immediately.
ygs-29/f
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