|
Answer when you have time
Hi all, this is yg. I consider this a question, I am also kind of looking for opinions. I am asking here instead of the mod forum because I'd like answers from those who are mods, and those who may not be yet. There is no right or wrong answer, so please, honest opinions only.
In the last month and a half this question, or a version of this question has come up and it bothers me. 'How can I hide that I have been on advicenators?' I assume it was meant from parents.
I would like to know if others have this problem.
Do you have to hide that you use the site?
If so why?
What do you think would make it acceptable to your parents?
Would you be embarrassed for your parents to see the site?
If so is it because of questions asked?
Questions you've asked? Or just the questions in general?
Answers given?
YOUR answers given, or just everyones answers?
Has anyone, besides myself, (who talked to both my kids about it), Talked to their parents about BECOMING an advicenator?
I think it is a great way to initiate conversation
about topics you may be embarrassed to discuss with a parent about yourself. I wonder if anyone has done that?
I think I have plagued you with enough questions for now. Thank you! :)yg
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Technology category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Advicenators?
I'm answering this really late but maybe my opinion will help anyway...
Yes, I have to hide my use of this site. My mom doesn't really understand the internet (myspace, etc) and she is constantly making fun of me for my column and threatening to block me from it. Granted, my mom's not exactly normal. And the one time she actually did look at the site to see if it was appropriate, there was a giant chain of sex questions. (Keeping in mind her image of me as a "loser" with no friends or boyfriends)
If there was a way to block the sex questions, I think I would be allowed on here. I would still be made fun of, but I'd be grudgingly allowed.
It's really hard to embarass me, but no, I wouldn't be embarassed for my mom to see the site in general. A few of the worse sex questions might embarass me because it contrasts everything I've told her about the site being a place for advice on friendship/relationships, a safe place, a place where there are mature adults.
Some of my answers do reveal things I'd rather not have my mom know.
My mom is extraordinarily close-minded so these may not be average answers. My dad doesn't live with me and so knows nothing about it.
]
Do I have to hide that I use this site?
Yes. My parents believe that the internet is a waste of time, and I could be using my time on advicenators studying or reading. They know (at least my mom knows) that I have an account, but they really do not like this site for a reason they only know. My mom enjoys scorning this site... unfortunately.
Yes I am embaressed by some of the questions I have asked. If one of my parents were to read through them, they would be a bit appalled, and maybe even hurt that I hadn't come to them for advice. Some of my questions were just plain embarassing.
Yes and it is also because of the answers I gave. I give a significant amount of advice about sex and puberty. I dont think my parents will enjoy knowing about some of the subjects discussed on this website. (topics such as sex are very carefully avoided in my family.. I actually had to go on websites such as these to learn what a period is and other such things.)
I actually enjoyed a good chuckle at the thought of what my mom's face would look like if I offered her to become an advicenator. But it is also a very scary thought because my mom would find out about the things I know... she knows my account name. I also highly doubt if she can answer any of the health questions.
But I feel like I must add that it is part of my culture to "help yourself". My mom believes that the people on this website (both askers and answerers) are stupid and uneducated and a bunch of time wasters.
]
[1] Nope. My mom knows I have an advice column. I don't think she really cares. She never says anything to me about it. So I don't feel the need to hide it.
[2] I'm not sure.
[3] Yes, and no. Some questions are too forward, I guess. My parents might not like the idea that I know the answers to some of those questions. Some kids don't know what they're talking about when they answer the questions, and my parents might be apalled, but I think that if they saw my column, I don't think they'd mind. So in a way, I can get embarassed for them to see it, but usually? No.
[4] Because of the questions asked. I usually ask the questions I ask on here to my parents first. If they don't seem to give me an answer [like an 'I don't know' or something of that sort] then I post it here & see what someone else has to say; sort of like an extra opinion.
[5] Also because of some of the answers given. Like I said, some kids don't know what they're talking about. I don't think my answers are bad, but I think my mom would yell at me because I can sometimes be a little mean.
[6] I've never talked to either of my parents about becoming one, but I told them I was one & they didn't seem to mind or care. I never really got a response besides "Oh." My friends know about my column though, and they think it's great that I'm helping other people besides them.
]
For me, I don't tell anybody that I am active on Advicenators so my advice doesn't get scrutinized. Even though I feel that it is good advice, I'd rather not have to deal with people checking up on me. Advicenators is my happy place where I feel like my thoughts are heard and my opinions matter. I can say what I want and be myself because nobody knows about it. It's easy to be open about things when you know nobody's watching. Occasionally I will delete my history, not to hide what I do out of embarrassment, I do take a lot of pride in it, but to keep it to myself as my own special thing. I myself, love to check up on people and everything they write on the Internet. People interest the crap out of me. I don't want people doing the same to me with this particular website. I only know one other person on here in real life and they're not active anymore. I think that this type of thing should be personal. What you post on myspace or anything of the like is meant for other people to see. What you post on here is just meant for that one person that you don't even know. I think that it's important for someone to have something like that in their life. Something that they can have just for themselves and be able to take some kind of ownership of. Even though I don't let on my level of involvement as an advice-giver, I do bring up the site all the time in conversation and love to advertise its existence to anybody that I believe will enjoy or benefit from it. It's not like I lie about it or hoard it for myself.
Speaking from how I would have felt if I had used Advicenators as a teen, I think that younger teenagers that have parents looking over their shoulders all the time would want to hide the site because of all of the sexual stuff it introduces. Some may not want their parents to know what they're asking, but I would imagine that they figure their parents aren't computer literate enough and don't know their password so they wouldn't be able to find it anyway. I know the world is quickly changing, but when I was a young teenager I had no idea what a blow job was or anything like that. Those questions come up all the time here. When I joined the site when I was 18 or 19 I still had things to learn. Now, a lot of 13 year olds know everything. Parents, and myself, grew up in an age where this kind of information wasn't so mainstream in teenage life, where even though people may have been having sex, they didn't talk about it. Advicenators lets people talk about it, which is a good thing, but unless it's you, it introduces you to a plethora of information that might make you think that you should become sexually active if you're not. Being sexually active is obviously not the best choice for teenagers. Teens know this and even though most are smart enough to make decisions for themselves, they are afraid that their parents won't want them looking at the site and learning so much about sex since they didn't when they were kids. Kids don't think their parents trust them. As much as it's not supposed to be, this site is largely a teen sex/relationship advice site. It would have been so embarrassing for me if I had used Advicenators and my parents found out. I would never hear the end of it and would be ridiculed by my entire family about it forever. Not from what I put on it, but from the content of the site. I don't think the parents themselves would be overly opposed to it unless they were really strict and traditional, it's just that the teens are afraid that they will be and don't want the site being taken away from them or have their every move monitored. Like me, I think everyone wants a personal connection to this to some extent. I think that if the questions relating to sex weren't displayed on the main page that those strict parents might be a little more open to their kids being on here if they were to find out. I would actually compare this to the debate over "abstinence only" and comprehensive sex education. Most parents are in favor of a comprehensive curriculum, but there are always a few that will be opposed. Kids will most likely just assume that their parents are opposed even if they aren't. Lastly, I believe that the site should have a message displayed somewhere easy to see and get to on the main page. What is Advicenators all about? How is it a positive thing? Something kind of like what's in the FAQ - "My kid is on advicenators and I'm mad". Just an explanation for the whole thing that is easy to find and clearly defines what the site is here for and how much it can help people. That might put parents at ease a little more. If they knew that the majority of the people here were genuine and kind and not out to fill their kids minds with filth (which could be the impression they get from glancing at the site really quickly) even the parents that found out about it would be happy that their kids were getting information from here rather than somewhere else.
]
There is a way to show that you weren't on it in your internet thing. Where you type in addresses in that little line thing, click on the arrow that points down, and look for the website you want gone. when you find it, look on ur keyboard for delete, then press the button and it should be gone.
]
Do you have to hide that you use the site?
If so why?
-I dont really hide the fact that I use this site. I don't announce it to people though.
What do you think would make it acceptable to your parents?
- Some parents would be slightly put out that their child would get help off a website instead of from them. My mum and I get on pretty well, but there are some questions I cant ask her.
Would you be embarrassed for your parents to see the site?
- Not exactly embarrassed, I minimise the page every time I leave the computer, but then I do that with all my sites. Its like, they're invading my personal space. They know me and they could read the help ive tried to give. People on this site, sont really know me, and I can be myself towards them and be honest.
If so is it because of questions asked?
Questions you've asked? Or just the questions in general?
- Questions that ive asked, because then some of them would end up with her thinking im mentally ill or something. Some of the ones asked would make me a bit awkard if shes reading these and thinking that im going to be getting ideas - im not!
Answers given?
YOUR answers given, or just everyones answers?
- my answers really, because they're my honest opinion, and mum's tried to crush my personal feelings on many subjects, and there are some subjects that im forbidden to mention in my home life, but i can read and discuss them here (:
Has anyone, besides myself, (who talked to both my kids about it), Talked to their parents about BECOMING an advicenator?
- No cause mum wouldnt have the time really, and my father ['it'] is about as useful as a chocolate ashtray and CAUSES most of my problems
I think it is a great way to initiate conversation
about topics you may be embarrassed to discuss with a parent about yourself. I wonder if anyone has done that?
- if i want to start one of those taboo conversations, I generally say that my friend and I were dicussing [whatnot] and id like mum to give me her opinion on
I'd like to ask also if you'd be embarrassed to look at the site with a parent IF they DIDN'T know you had a column here, and couldn't see what you've answered. They wouldn't know what questions you asked anyway..
it.
- If I didnt tell mum, then she wouldnt know about it, adn she'd ask to ee my personal part. If she was looking at it with me knowing id be 'urg, help!' it would be kinda strange. But if they wouldnt find your personal questions or answers, then i think it would be fine.
Your welcome (:
-TeenageGraffiti
]
My parents have seen me on this site, and they really don't mind me being on it. I just say that it's an advice site and they're like "Oh cool, you're helping out some people, huh?" ..or something like that.
I would be kind of embarassed if my parents looked at my site and saw answers to the sex questions, because of course, that is a little embarassing.
I just keep my column to myself and not tell the whole world about my page because I don't really want people to read some of the answers I give. Some of them are personal, and come from things that have actually happened to me, and I don't really want a ton of people that I know to know some of the personal things in my life.
Overall, my parents don't care that I have this site, but I wouldn't really like if they read some of these answers I've given. Just a little embarassing. =)
]
My parents are happy that I am helping people! I guess ygsgirl doesnt get to hide it :]
lol
]
Well, my mom doesn't know. But I don't think she would really mind. The only things my parents wouldn't want me looking at, is the sex questions, cause I have learned a lot of stuff from this site.
I don't tell my friends because, I wouldn't want them seeing the answers I give. I don't know, its just me.
I love this site, and I would recommend it to anyone that needs advice!
]
I do not hide the fact that I use this site. I have told my parents about this site. I also proudly tell my friends (even new ones) that I have an advice column.
]
1. "Do you have to hide that you use the site?
If so why?" No, I don't hide that I use this site. I love Advicenators and have told everyone I know about my column and the site in general, which includes my parents. I'm proud to be on Advicenators, and a moderator here, too.
2. "What do you think would make it acceptable to your parents?" It already is acceptable to my parents, however, to those whose parents do not accept Advicenators. I would point out all of the great and wonderful things about Advicenators, and even show their parents their column, so they can see exactly what's going on with their child and this site. And they can see how good this site is, and quite safe, if I might add.
3. "Would you be embarrassed for your parents to see the site?" Nope, both of my parents have already seen this site and think it's great.
4. "Has anyone, besides myself, (who talked to both my kids about it), Talked to their parents about BECOMING an advicenator?" I sure have, and they thought it was a great idea.
5. "I think it is a great way to initiate conversation about topics you may be embarrassed to discuss with a parent about yourself. I wonder if anyone has done that?" Actually, YG, I have done that and it was pretty fun. I always like doing the unexpected, that is, as long as it doesn't get me into trouble. :)
6. "I'd like to ask also if you'd be embarrassed to look at the site with a parent IF they DIDN'T know you had a column here, and couldn't see what you've answered. They wouldn't know what questions you asked anyway.." No, I wouldn't be embarrassed. I think I've given good advice overall, and am a good columnist and moderator here on Advicenators. So I don't believe I have anything to be embarrassed about.
]
I met my current boyfriend on Advicenators over two years ago.
My mid-30's sibling was on Advicenators for a while even.
I've told all of my friends about Advicenators.
I believe that is where Solaris came from.
I've mentioned Advicenators to my parents quite a few times. I've never gotten into the type of questions presented, but I've explained the basic idea to them. Not because I had to, but because it would provide them with a better understanding of whatever the topic we were discussing was about and/or orginated from. In all honesty, they don't know much about the site, and they don't care. My parents couldn't turn the computer on to even reach the point of being stumped with how to pull up a game of Solitare. Have I spoken with them about becoming a Columnist? I have not. They wouldn't be interested. Electronics piss them off, and Elvis never died.
I have kept Advicenators as my homepage for three years.
I love this place, and I feel very fortunate to be a part of this team.
I am not in the slightest bit "embarrassed" by Advicenators.
I do not try to hide it, at all. I just can not stress how crucial "privacy" is to me.
Good question.
]
id be embarassed
i delete it in the history
im always grounded for everything i do
i ask alot of personal questions on herei would never show my mom shed get me a therepist and tell everyone we do not get along anymore at all she tells me how much she hates my friends music personality clothes everything
id be embarrassed to look on here with them because shed make fun of everything seriosly and shed know my questions
she just hates everything about me
]
As with most things that have been in my life, i just tell my parents what they ask for. when they come up behind me for a sec and ask "what's advicenators?" i just say "oh it's an advice site and people ask questions and anyone can answer." back when i was around 14, i showed them the random weirdos section with questions like how do you braid hair or where can i find big hoop earings under $5. so they thought, oh well that's neat... something to do... our daughter basically lives to help people and they saw nothing wrong with this site. they know i go on it alll the time.
on the other hand, i probably wouldnt want them reading some of my answer... especially on sexual things. i haven't done anything absolutely shocking but i just don't want them knowing what i've done or my tactics on hiding things frm parents. i spill too many secrets on here... not like where i live or anything that a stalker could use to come rape me and kill me, but stuff that i'm either not supposed to know about or supposed to have seen in real life. I wouldn't be 'embarrassed' showing it to my parents, more like.. showing too much of myself... the part that i don't really want them to see.
i have my own laptop in my room with internet obviously... surprisingly, i've turned out ok. no predators in my backyard or at the local mall..
some of the answers that people give would make them a little uneasy but for the most part, it's almost expected out of teenagers.
my parents don't have time for advicenators. my dad works all day and my mom speaks english as a second language and i can see immature teens giving her crap about spelling, etc.
I talk to my parents about all those taboo-ish things. i never really had a problem. my mom and i went shopping for my first thong even though she never wore them. we talk about drinking... and smoking and how they don't want me doing drugs or having sex and getting stds. we talk about it freely... as long as we're educated and don't do it (or just not mention that we have..) they're fine with it. buttt i do give advicenator credit for bringing up those topics enough that i can make my own decisions and be more comfortable bringing them up.
alright.. sorry if it's a little scattered. i have a lot of thoughts on this. <3
]
Hey YG!
I visit advicenators on both my personal computer in my bedroom and my family computer in the family room. I do not hide it on either one.
I would not be embarassed for my parents to see the site. I wouldn't particularly want them to see most of my questions and answers though, because I am a private person. It's not that I think they would disapprove, its just that I would feel invaded.
However, I have showed my mother the site before. Just briefly, she thought the whole idea was cool. So no worries I suppose.
I think the site does an excellent job of staying appropriate and professional. No worries there =)
]
my parents also did not approve of my having of this site, so i stopped for a while. when i told my mom i started it up again she said she was umcomfortable with just my general access to talk to strangers. i assured her there is no conversation or personal information posted so she allows me to have this site. unfortunately she refuses to let my dad knwo for the same reason she didn't want me to have one.
there is nothing i can really suggest you do considering stubborn parents will stick with their ways even if they are aware they are overreacting.
the site is fine, and an excellent source for advice. i do not think the problem is this website but stubborn adults who simply don't understand the site and refuse to take the time to learn about it.
you're doing a great job =]
]
**EDIT** Since I have spoken with YG, I realize that I missed her point, but I will leave my vent, because I wanted to share anyhow.
LOG OUT. Then show your parents. See, they don't know your handle, most likely, so they will not be certain which you are.
Just keep in mind- your parents were teenagers, too, so you don't really have to hide from them as much as you think you do... *****
Ok, so this business of deleting histories and lying to parents to cover up for what is being done while surfing the web really, really bothers me. So I'm going to rattle my thoughts to kind of vent about it a little for all to see.
Personally? Our computer is in our living room, where we can see what goes on if someone were on it. My children will not be allowed to use it without parental supervision. Period.
If they try to hide something from me on the internet, well, bye-bye computer. I don't need it, and they sure as hell don't. It is a privilege, not a right. And if the privilege is abused, then it is lost.
Maybe I sound mean, but so sorry, I am a mother, and my own taught me well. :)
They will NEVER have one of their own in their room, unless of course, they buy it themselves. But even if they do buy a computer, there isn't now, and never will be, internet access upstairs.
So, see, my son and his future siblings will not have to worry about learning to delete the history to hide something from me. I guess I'm a cruel, cold hearted bitch, but I would rather that, than some sicko come hunt down my child, rape him, and leave him dead and floating in the local creek.
I don't trust filters and such to protect my child from internet predators they have no business talking to, and pornography they have no business seeing.
I am a paranoid person to begin with. I am more so now that I am a mother. I have enough worries of weather or not he will get run over on his way to school, and what the other children will teach him while he's there, without having to worry about what he may or may not be doing via the internet.
As for do my parents know I'm on this site- Why yes.
Am I embarrassed about it? Not at all. Most asking questions are teens, and I give them the same advice I would give my own teen. What reason do I have to be embarrassed about that?
Yes, I have tried to convince my husband of becoming an advicenator.
As for hiding the site from parents- I said as much as I needed to on that subject above, don't you think?
Would I have hidden it from my own parents as a teen? Hell no. I never hid anything from my parents, nor do I now. Never felt I needed to. It's called trust, ladies and gentlemen.
]
I don't hide that I use this site. I actually show my friends my column and it gets them interested in the site.
I think it is already acceptable to parents- its just that some questions are a little on the inappropriate side and it may cause parents to see this as a bad site.
I am NOT embarrassed at all for my parents to see this site. I actually enjoy telling them stories about it and they really support me with using it.
Some people would consider it embarrassing probably because of what you said- the questions they've asked (mainly- they may be something their parents don't know about).
Some answers are completely insulting to me and this site. They use cuss words and its entirely inappropriate and not something parents would like to see.
I didn't ask permission from my parents about becoming an advicenator- but like I said- they fully support me being on it. My parents see it as me helping people.
Does that help, YG?
Whatever you aim with this is, I'm in full support of it! =]
--Jack
]
1) Do you have to hide that you use the site
Sometimes, especially when my dad comes in to use my comp. I dun really like people whom I know looking thru my advice column and esp the qns I ask in advicenators. It's kind of like invading into my private space and I dun like my frens or family to know what problems I have.
2) What do you think would make it acceptable to your parents.
Not a problem for me here.
3) Would you be embarrassed for your parents to see this site
Yes. But it's not cos this site is bad or anything, it's just like the reason I gave in 1). Somehow I think it would be mushy if they were to see my advice column. If they were to see my advice column, they'd say "sure that advice was from you?" you know, things like that. They won't believe I'm capable of giving advice and watever, irritating stuff like tt.
Basically, thats the only setback I have with advicenators.
]
First off, I want to say that 3/4 of the questions are bad and not parent-appropriate, but to maintain my account, I have to answer many questions that I don't want to. Also, the questions I ask, are questions that I don't want my family/friends to know about. Because if I DID want them to know about it... I would just ask THEM. Get it?
Do you have to hide that you use the site? Yes.
If so why? Answered above.
What do you think would make it acceptable to your parents? If questions were rated, and you have to check to show innapropriate questions. Like, if they were somehow hidden at first. Just a thought...
Would you be embarrassed for your parents to see the site? Yes.
If so is it because of questions asked? Questions you've asked? Or just the questions in general? Some of both.
Answers given?
YOUR answers given, or just everyones answers? Both.. I definitly wouldn't want them seeing my site. Because there is a lot of stuff that they probably think I don't even know about yet. Or just stuff I don't want the seeing or knowing I know. Even friends. Like, when I talk about when I hit puberty and stuff, EMBARRASING!
Has anyone, besides myself, (who talked to both my kids about it), Talked to their parents about BECOMING an advicenator? No. They do not know I have an account here. Or atleast... I hope they don't.
]
Do you have to hide that you use the site?
If so why?
No, but I'm not really open about it.
What do you think would make it acceptable to your parents?
Nothing on the internet will ever be completely acceptable...especially if it has a password.
Would you be embarrassed for your parents to see the site?
Absolutely.
If so is it because of questions asked?
Questions you've asked? Or just the questions in general?
Questions asked. My parents don't know I know as much as I do.
Answers given?
YOUR answers given, or just everyones answers?
Everyone's. including mine.
Has anyone, besides myself, (who talked to both my kids about it), Talked to their parents about BECOMING an advicenator?
No. It's none of their business.
I think it is a great way to initiate conversation
about topics you may be embarrassed to discuss with a parent about yourself. I wonder if anyone has done that?
Noooo.
]
More Questions: |