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im 16 years old and 8 months pregnant..my boyfriend ..which is the father and is 19..wont have anything to do with me..he wont even touch me anymore yea he comes over every now and then but he doesnt stay long..it breaks my heart because i love him so much..he says he loves me but it definately doesnt feel like it..what can i do?
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I was 17 when i found myself pregnant so i;'m sure i can understand some of what you are going through.. First thing is alot of men don't know how to react to your changing body or they think they may hurt the baby or he may be just scared out of his mind knowing he is going to be a dad ,..soon to be moms are not the only ones who wonder if they will be able to handle being a parent.. be patient they usually get over it . Assure him that he can't hurt you and let him know that it hurts your feelings when he acts this way.
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HI, I'M SO SORRY WE DIDN'T GET YOUR QUESTION, WE HAVEN'T BEEN ON THE SITE FOR A FEW MONTHS NOW - NUT WE'RE WELL AND TRULY BACK! - A LOT WILL HAVE CHANGED SINCE YOU POSTED YOUR QUESTION SO IF YOU COULD GIVE US AN UP-DATE AND WE'LL SEE HOW WE CAN HELP. HOPE YOU ARE WELL, TALK TO YOU SOON. BUY BUY JUST NOW. DERFEL&DANNII X
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I'm so sorry I didn't get back to you sooner! I was gone for 5 days and came back to find my ISP's server was down for another 2 days.
Have you asked your boyfriend why he is acting the way he is? You need to explain to him that his support is really needed by you right now. He may be scared...But, so are you. Try to encourage him to tell you what he's feeling, you will both feel so much better getting your feelings out in the open.
Tell him exactly what you told me...that you aren't feeling very loved right now. Part of it could be hormones but if he isn't spending much time with you a lot of it is probably him.
The main thing you guys need right now is some communication. Be honest with each other. You need to know if you can count on this guy or not in the future. If you are keeping the baby and he doesn't want the responsibility, it would be kind of nice for you to know this...even if it hurts. If he wants a future with you and his child then he needs to be more attentive to you both.
Again, sorry it took so long to get back with you. Let me know if there is anything more I can do to help you out. :)
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I sorta know what you are going through .My brother and his girlfriend just found out that she was pregnant.He didnt come around that much or wanted anything to do with her because he wanted to be with his friends all the time. But then everything ended up changing when my brother went with her to the hospital to see his son born it changed everything he is there every day mostly now.They made a promise that he can go out twice a night with his friends. But you tell your man that if he doesnt want anything to do with you or your child then put him on child support I mean do you really want a man in the picture that doesnt want anything to do with his child and the baby grow up and ask why his father was never there.You will be a good mother trust me. You dont want to fight in front of the baby all the time because its not good for your child he or she will always remember that . Just keep your head up. Dont let him bring you down if he doesnt want nothing to do with the baby child support but you tell him that being a dad is not a part time job you cant just decide to be a dad m-T and quit on the weekends. Hope everything works out Rate me.. And sweetie you will be a good mom good luck.. Tell me how things go and I hope you email me picture of the baby.. Keep in touch if you want my email add is lilquidas@msn.com
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you should talk to him...next time he comes over to see you just start to talk to him and tell him how you feel...if he truely loves you then he will help with the baby...tell him that you feel like hes avoiding you ever since you got pregnant...you just have to tell him how you feel from your heart...hope i helped...and good luck!
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gosh this is never easy on anyone i would imagine.. the only thing i can think of is try talking to him and let him know that its okay!!! i bet he feels close to the way you do.. that hes too young.. that he messed up.. that hes not ready that he cant do this.. just let him know its okay that you feel the same way!!!! maybe once he knows that you know what he's going through he might lossen up and be loving again.. its just a rough time for him as it is for you... i think all you need is time hun!! hope i helped sum! x0x0x0
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you just need to give him some space. im sure he will come around and help you again. for the mean time, you need to get help form your parents aor your friends. when he comes over, just treat him like the father of your baby and see how he feels. if he doesn't like it, then back of. you could ask his frinds if he talks about you or maybe they could ask him how he feels about you.you could get married, but you should only do that if you both love eachother and are sure of it.condiser counsling. it might help get things off your chest. just don't do anything to harm your baby.
hope i helped
jjb
p.s.- congrats on the baby!!!
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I am going to be as honest as I possibly can be with you... So get ready.
Ive had tons of friends over the years both in highschool, and even now as an adult, who have gotten pregnant by some irrisponsible boy. As sorry as I am to say that, they are just boys they think with their peckers untill the time comes to take responsiblility for their second brain. I can deffinitly feel your pain although I have no idea what it is like to be pregnant. If I was you once this baby is born I would go to domestic relations and draw child support from him. Considering the fact that he is not taking responsibility as it is, and the baby is not even born yet. It is a safe bet that he wont take responsibility when the baby is born. Baby's take a hell of a lot of work to raise and the last thing a child needs in its life is to have an unresponsive peice of sh*t father. So I understand that you are 16 and well its time to grow up forget about this guy/boy and find the means to support this child. There are plenty of other options when it comes to babys, however the last option on your mind should be waiting around for this boy. You have a month to decide what your going to do about this situation. I hope to god you dont choose to wait for your beloved to return... Which is a 1% chance. Stay strong :)
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Well if he says he loves you and doesnt show it you should talk to him about it. After all he is the father of your baby and loves you.. be open about these things.. if the case is that he doesnt love you the way you thought and wont help you with the baby maybe you should consider an abortion.
♥ Michelle
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I am so sorry that this happened to you, it’s a very sad thing. I think it’s a good idea for you to invite him to your house and ask to sit down and speak to him. Ask him how he is feeling and if there is anything he needs to tell you. Pregnancy is a really tough thing for any couple. Everyone knows it’s difficult for girls, and I wouldn't want to be a girl in that position for any amount of money. It's stressful and tiring (among other things.) But I think sometimes people forget that guys get stressed out too. And I am gonna tell you a secret when I say this. As guys we freak out during the pregnancy time, we don't know what to do or what not to do to make our gf’s/wives/etc. more comfortable during this whole process. There are also guys who just shut down when they have to face this kind of life changing news. Some guys just aren’t ready to deal with the consequences of their actions. Most guys grow up and face their responsibility but sadly, there are those whom just run away from it. But you don't know what exactly is the situation yet. I think you need to really sit down and talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel as well as asking him how he feels. I think it will really help. Best of luck! If you need to chat feel free to AIM me.
AIM: StikyNoteRightr
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tell your boyfriend what you think about the situation. also try telling your parents about it. im sorry sweetie but for once i really dont know what to say. try to do more things with him when you can and maybe you yourself can visit him instead of him coming over. try to take control, but not to much. im sorry again, and good luck with everything.
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oh kay well the thing is he's prolly a little scared about the baby. i mean, it does mean he has to spend the rest of his life taking care of the baby right? well, also, its not right to leave you alone && not take care of you && the baby. talk to him about it. i know that may be hard, but just tell him that if he really loves you, he would be taking care of you right now. hope i helped a little && good luck with the baby! =)!
♥ nicole
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well are you going to keep the baby? have you tried talking to your boyfriend about what's going on and what you're going to do? this is a really hard situation and may end up not exactly how i kno you want it to. just let you know how much he means to you, how much yo uwould do for him and how much you could do for each other. ask him how he REALLY feels about you. and when he says 'i love you' ask him if he means it. let him kno that you really need him, especially right now. i hope for the best and i really hope this works out for you. i kno this is probably really hard for you but do your best...
i hope i've been able to help in some way!
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Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your boy running out on you. It must hurt on two levels: you love him and want to be with him, and you really need him as the father of your child.
I'm still gonna have to tell you to buck up and be strong, tho -- not because I think your problems are unimportant, but because you are the only one now who has the opportunity to face this.
Since you're the one going through the pregnancy, I suggest you pamper yourself; get closer with your girl-friends and female elders. Spend a lot of time on yourself: bathing, primping, eating regular meals of your FAVOURITE foods, watching your own favourite movies.
Masturbate. A lot. Nothing is better than knowing how to please yourself.
Focus on what an amazing, beautiful, talented girl you are, and aim towards what kind of woman (and mother?) you want to become. After the mourning phase passes, you'll realise what your boy has given up, and you'll pity him; once you've spent this time on YOU, you'll be able to express yourself to a man much more worthy of your affections.
However you choose to handle the pregnancy -- at this stage, keeping the child or adopting it out -- you can be proud of your decision as a parent and a complete human being. Then you can say you worked through it yourself, with a bit of help from your friends.
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You've messed your life up. You'll probably go on welfare later in life. Be a single mother when you're 20 something. And you'll scare all the guys away because you have a kid.
You'll live in poverty and be in a crappy dump with gang shootings.
Abort it.
Or have it up for adoption.
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Whoa! first of all you're only 16 with a huge burden like that. "salted" the guy that you're going out with need s to take responsibility for that child and spend more time with you so that you two need to talk about it. basically trap him somewhere and interagate him ((metaphorically speaking)). If you need more advice on this email or IM me. Hope i helped
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im not exactly sure what you should do because ive never been in the situation. hes prob just scared that you r pregnant and hell be a dad in a month. i think you should try and talk to him about it and ask him why hes being like that. and youre only 16 you shouldnt be getting pregnant that young because u still need to graduate highschool and i know its hard to try and raise a baby cuz i live in a family with 8 kids and im the second oldest. any way good luck with your delivery and hope all goes well.
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You can drop the guy. Even if he is the father of your child, a father that doesn't care is worse than not having a father around at all. It will make you and the baby feel unwanted. I'm sure there are lots of guys out there that will love you unconditionally. Don't put up with his crap and let him know you aren't going to. Make sure he goes away quickly. Right now, this baby should be the most important thing in your life.
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the best thing for you to do is talk to him. Say to him that you feel like he is avoiding you. If he is then the heck with him. Find a guy who deserves you and who you deserve. There are others out there and i know you dont want to hear this but maybe your better off without him. But definitally talk to him because im sure if your pregnant he is in all hell. He probably has a load of crap on his mind and what not. IDK his situation. Tell him and go by his response. sorry about the length in wordy.
♥s to you.
i hope it works out.
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im going to sugar cote this for ya.......
its not my fault u picked the wrong guy apperntly he got wat he wanted and he ditched you so now ur going to have a baby and when its like 10yrs old hes going to want to come back......
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awwwww huni!
try asking him why he wont talk or touch you? maybe he's just scared about whats going to happen in the next month! hes going to be a father after all its a big step for him, more you then him but you know hat guys are like, when he next comes round talk to him see how he feels and tell him how you feel. maybe when the baby comes along it will bring you back closer as there's a little bundle around!! good luck with everything hope the birth goes ok and if you like send me a piccie when s/he born :D
email me if u like sarahlouise_hall1@yahoo.co.uk xXx
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You have bigger problems than having a crappy boyfriend. You are soon going to be a mother! You no longer have the luxury of doing what you want to do, you have to do what is best for your child. And worring about a boy that doesn't want you or your child is a waste of energy. Your duty is now to your child.
It's time to grow up and stop being selfish. Life is not longer about you. If you can't do it, then I sure hope you put your child up for adoption so they can have a family that truely wants to love them.
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I would say do one of those things on the inter net for a suol mate. My cousin did one a year ago and they have not even had a fight. My cousin had a baby too. So did her husband. (her new one). She had a baby then he went off. OR! Next time he comes over or calls tell him how you feel. If he says something like SHUT THE F*CK UP! then he is tottally not worth it. My advice is to love the baby and DO NOT SCREW UP ON HER! Raise he up rite!
♥[g]R[a]C[i]E♥
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tell him how you feel. ask him why he is so stand-of-ish.
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So he says he loves you but wont have anythign to do with you? but he still comes over? if your 8 months pregnant it makes some sense that he isnt really toucning you becasue you shouldnt be dooing sexual stuff. you can always feel love, its a force that cannot be mistaken. if it doesnt feel like it then he probably doesnt love you. youre 16, hes 19 you can get him thrown in jail for statutory rape, but then child support becomes a problem, he has to foot part of the bill. are your parents supportive? becasue if they are you really dont need this jerk.
did i pass your test?
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well there's not much you can do. i mean he probably does still love you a lot. but all he can think about is the fact that he got you pregnant when he probably didn't intend for that and he probably feels terribly guilty and stupid and is ashamed to even go near you for too long without feeling like an idiot. or at least that's how i'd feel.
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I think maybe he is a little scared that your pregnant. Because it means that he's going to be a father to a young teen. Just try to help him as much as you can to make him and yourself feel comfterble with the baby. Talk to him about the baby and how you would like her/him to have a great father like he is, if thats what you think of course.
hope every thing goes good! :D
simone<3
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I'm only 13 but I think your boyfriend might be scared about being the father of your kid. Try sitting down with him the next time he comes over and talking to him about it. If you still feel like he doesn't love you confront him specifically on that. Hope I helped!
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Start planning for the life of your child. Be sure your parents and his parents know about it. You cannot make him love you. You need to have a frank discussion with him on how you are either going to care for the baby or put it up for adoption. It is going to be very difficult to continue your education and raise your child. It isn't impossible, but it puts you at a serious disadvantage.
Keep the lines of communciation open. Be prepared for him to abandon you because it seems like he is already. Once you have the child he will either run or cling. If you have no parental support, please contact a social service in your area. You probably could start with the health department. Just try to get as much help as you can.
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Hi honey,
I hope that you are not alone. And that your family of supportive of you to keep this baby. What you find yourself in is a situation that so many girls your age, who get pregnant...find themselves in. Young boys are not interested in being in love and raising children at their age.
Mostly they are interested in sports and sex. And for the most part, they don't even make an effort to hide the fact that, that is all they are interested in. If things were different, you would see an awful lot of young, very young married couples. But you don't you just see many many baby mama's.
You have something very important to think about. ANd it's that baby. That baby already has too many strikes against it because his parents are not married and his mom is still a child herself.
You love this boy because you are scared and you feel alone, and you feel a connection to him because you gave him everything that a young girl has to give. You gave completely and he just took and gave nothing back. The best thing you can do is forget him. I know you love him, but how can you love someone who had treated you so badly. The best thing you can get out of him is weekly child support and hopefully he will visit his child. If he wants to please do not interfere with that. A child needs both parents. It is not necessary that they be married, it is only necessary that they both love the baby and respect each other.
Please write back and let me know what your plans are. Do you have family support? Do you plan to kee this baby? Are you going to finish school? (I hope so that is very important.)
I know that you did not ask for this, and I also know that it is not entirely your fault, but the laws and reality is this....you are that baby's moma, and that baby is going to need it's moma, even if that baby's moma, would rather be having the same life that her friends without babies are having. I hope you are strong enough to get through this. There are too many children out there who were born to parents who were not capable of taking care of them.
Please, it is time to put your feelings for this guy in the back of your heart, and start to have feelings for this baby and plans for both of your futures
Michele
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i take it your parents know about it? there isnt much you can do about it, if he doesnt want to take part in it. you can make him pay child support. have a talk to him about it maybe he is just scared. GOOD LUCK GIRL
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Hello there,
I am sorry to hear this. Here's something I have learned over time: Love has very little to do with what we say and everything to do with what we DO.
If he doesn't ACT like he loves you, then he doesn't.
What do your parents have to say about this?
Are they willing to help with the baby?
Are you ready to raise a baby?
Have you talked to anyone about adoption if you decided against raising your child.
It is considered statutory rape in this state, just the age difference will be enough to land him in jail.
Love isn't sex. Love is just exactly what you are involved in now. Love is doing the right things of your own free will. He isn't loving you like he should.
It is possible that he has been using you for sex. Many men (He isn't a boy, he is legally an adult) will say anything to get sex. After that, they don't care.
There are good men out there. The only way to find one is to say NO to sex and see who stays and loves YOU just for being YOU.
If you need more help, you may e-mail me directly at:
dangernerd@gmail.com
DangerNerd.
P.S. Don't be confused. If he doesn't act towards you in a loving way, then he is lying when he says he loves you. It is just that simple.
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Have you talked with him how you feel? if not you definately need to. just sit down with him and tell him all your thoughts and that what he's doing is hurting you. tell him how much you need him in your life more than anything right now..im sorry about he's like that to you..good luck sweetie!
x3 katie
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