about

Hi I'm Derfel - & I'm Dannii, trust us 'coz you know what? We're always ....... ALWAYS right! Together we have a phenomenal amount of life experience, advice experience and 'drama management'!! What we haven't come across you could list on the back of a postage stamp (a small one). We'll talk about anything, don't mind getting personal and we genuinely care about YOU! We're hear to help and we're listening. Buy buy just now Derfel & Dannii xx




advice

Okay, i've been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 months now. we had sex a few weeks ago, and we used a condom, and it had spermicidle. I usually start my period around the end of the month, and tomorrow is sept. 1. Since school just started, and i've been in a lot of fights with my parents, i'm hoping its just stress. and also, my period is never really ever the same, but th elast few times its been around the end of the month. I've been throught he symptoms, if you will, of pregnancy, and i hhave a few questions about those too. The breast tenderness? is that just like, all the time tenderness, or when you touch it? and also, the heavy discharge. i had that right after we had sex, like the next day, but i havn't had it since. I've always been a little moody and upsetable, so i dunno if that makes a difference. I'm going out of my mind, and i'm starting ot have dreams. could someone please help me! thank youso much, and sorry its so long. by the way, i'm 17.

Firstly Don't panic! I know its easy for me to say but the likelihood is your not pregnant. You did take appropriate precautions, your periods are not Necessarily regular and stress Definitely can delay it. Try to stop worrying and de-stress and see if you come on in the next few days. if you don't you will have to take a pregnancy test. If it comes out posative you need to see a DR. and make the decission about what to do. Remember you don't have to tell your parents anything but you carn't go through it alone, you and your boy friend have to do it Together. good luck and let us know what happens. DERFEL&DANNII xx

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I'm a girl. There's this boy, we hang out. He likes me, I'm 98% sure. He was hurt during and after his last relationship for a really long time. While we hang out and cuddle and just be together we talk and he told me that he see's a future with me and it scares him. I didn't necessarily take this as a bad thing. However, the more I think about it, the more I wonder. What are all of your opinions on this?

Second part.
Also, he doesn't seem too ready to date any time soon. Then there's this guy, who I really really used to dig when I was like 15. I'm 18, now. We're friends, but I think he wants to try something more. I like this other guy, in the above paragraph, however, I don't know if I should wait for him, or see if I like this friend of mine. My gut feelings are telling me that I'm young, and should play out both fields. What are your opinions?

K Thanks.

It concerns me the way you say 'play both fields' - thats not fair on anyone, you risk breaking both thier harts and your own. We have a saying ' follow your hart - not your head'. Be true to your self and listen to what your hart says to you. Remember your harts wisper is a lot louder than your heads shout. I know which one you want, you know which one you want. One of thies gue's says to me a life time of love and happyness - the other says nothing of the sort. be gentle, become his rock and let him be yours. Don't rush it or even think about it - just let it happen. Good luck and let us know what happens.
Derfel&Dannii xx

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im 16 years old and 8 months pregnant..my boyfriend ..which is the father and is 19..wont have anything to do with me..he wont even touch me anymore yea he comes over every now and then but he doesnt stay long..it breaks my heart because i love him so much..he says he loves me but it definately doesnt feel like it..what can i do?

HI, I'M SO SORRY WE DIDN'T GET YOUR QUESTION, WE HAVEN'T BEEN ON THE SITE FOR A FEW MONTHS NOW - NUT WE'RE WELL AND TRULY BACK! - A LOT WILL HAVE CHANGED SINCE YOU POSTED YOUR QUESTION SO IF YOU COULD GIVE US AN UP-DATE AND WE'LL SEE HOW WE CAN HELP. HOPE YOU ARE WELL, TALK TO YOU SOON. BUY BUY JUST NOW. DERFEL&DANNII X

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does anyone know good tricks to getting blood stains out of clothes? thanks

You'll have the police round, asking questions like that! Lol.

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Hey guys, do you have a problem when your friend dates your ex girlfriend? just imagine, you break up with this girl or she breaks up with you then, she goes and goes out with your friend? how do you act? what do you say to him?her? do you mind?
thanks insider scoop would be great!

Well do you mind? How you feel about this is entirely a personal matter for you but if they both single and they like each other theirs nothing wrong with them seeing each other. As a friend you have to grin and bare it and get used to it no matter how much you may dislike the idea. It may be hard at first, but it will get easier. Derfel XX

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i didnt know what catorgory to put his under but my brother is 17 and has done the following

> stole my moms bank card n stoel all of her money out of her account
> stole money out of her purse many times
>stole the truck while not having a liscense and wrecked it
> ran up paperview bills and cellphone bill and jsut doesnt care
my mom didnt press necharges and now she had kicked him out of the house but hes only 17 so the family he went to called the cops and the cops told my mom to wait til hes 18 and kick him out my brother has stoel from my mom again and has began stealing from me but lies about it i think she should be punished for his actions and should get sent to jail or somewhere he needs to go somewhere and i need help of what to do and i need it fats before he steals again

Hi,
Well I'm a law student but that's in the UK and English Law. I can't advise you on the US law. In the UK your brother could be kicked out at 17, he could have been kicked out at 16 in fact. And certainly in the UK your mom could press charges against him. I would imagine your mom could have him arrested for this, what we are talking about is several counts of theft and a count of frord - I would be very shocked if she could not. Talk to a lawyer! I don't know how old you are or if theirs an age limit on who can see a lawyer in the states, in the UK you could. If not, talk yo your mom and get her to see a lawyer. Something has to be done about him he can't be allowed to go on the way he is. Derfel XX

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13/f - Yesterday I think my mom walked in on me and my BFF watching porn on my computer. Im not positive if she saw EVERYTHING because we clicked out fast, but its been akward between us all morning! I dont know what to do/say or if im just being paranoid and she didnt see. What do i do here?! My friend just went home, but still my mom hasnt said a word about it. i feel SO AWKWARD! HELP ME PLEASE

The fact that you're mom hasn't said anything either means she didn't see or she's a pretty cool mom. A lot of parents would have made a huge fuss and been totally ridiculous. Ask your mom 'Have I done something to upset you'?, or ' is there something wrong, you've been acting strange with me' - if she then reveals she did see, the fact that she didn't say or do anything means you'll probably be able to have an adult convocation about it and clear the air. Enjoy your porn! Derfel Xx

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How long does it take for a symtom of an STD to show up? I just gave my boyfriend a blow job last night for the first time and now i have a sore in my mouth. Could it be an STD and should i be worried? Thanks so much.

How long the symptoms take to show up all depend on the STD but most take quite a long time. If it was just a blow job you where giving him I really wouldn't worry, the chance that your sore has anything to do with the blow job is almost 0! Don't worry! Derfel XX

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As we all know mothers day is tomorrow. Does anyone have any good ideas on what to get mine?? I have no idea plese help! I will rate high for a good answer! THanks!

Well thank god it's not mothers day hear tomorrow! I live in the UK and that's all over and done with for this year hear. I'll leave what to get your mom down to you, I'm sure she'll love it! Good Luck Derfel xx

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i want to give my boyfriend a blow job but how do i make the first move and i am sorry but how do i do it ?!

Hi there,
Don't say sorry, you have nothing to say sorry about. Firstly how do you do it, well basically you are sucking his dick to stimulate him in the same way a hand job would. Careful not to bite it - that hurts! Lol. Only joking, don't worry - play around, experiment and don't worry about 'getting it right'. Your boy friend will love it! As for how to make the first move .... Just be blunt and go for it, don't worry about subtlety. Enjoy your self! Derfel xx

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ok, after everytime i masterbate, i feel really, really guilty...i wounder what my girlfriend would say if she had found out, i feel like it is a complete sin, and after everytime i do that, i feel that God punishes me, but he doesnt seem to punish other people i know do it... what should i think? is it ok, or should i try to stop?? HELP!!

OK - lets get rid of the word 'Sin' and the rest of the religious trash. I'm not having a go I'm just not the most Christian of people, I'm a white witch. The answer to the question 'is it wrong to masturbate' is NO! Unfortunately your religion has taught you to carry a lot of guilt - drop the guilt and don't worry. What you are doing is something EVERYBODY does / has done, is perfectly normal and nothing to feel bad about. Derfel xx

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Theres a guy I like. He goes to my school. Is in my grade, two of my classes, ect. ect.

But, he knows I like him, and doesn't like me back. He's told me multiple times. But lately, he's been acting like I'm okay. Usually he acts like he hates me. He even IMed me first on AIM. Which is like, a first. Ever. We've been able to talk more, and we're getting along pretty well.

The bad side is, well, I've liked him for so long, now that he's finally maybe liking me, I don't feel exactly the same. I'm in this odd stage where, I do and don't like him. I mean, he's hurt me so much, but I feel like I love him. I can't control my feelings.

So what I would like to know is:
Do you think he likes me?
What should I do if he asks me out?
and
Should I take action?(ME asking him out)

I have NO idea what to do.
(13/f)

Short answer? - YES, YES, YES! - I think he likes you. And I think he's liked you all along. That doesn't change the fact that he's been acting like a compleat dick though.... But if you feel as strongly as you say you have to go for it! Take it slow though, esspecialy at first! Good Luck! Drefel xx

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ok my mom like dosent trust me 1 bit at all and i really need to ask a questio on here but.. my mom puts like these tracker things on my computer she can read everything i do on here anything i type and stuff like that anywhere i go on the computer.. so .. i want to ask everyone a question on here but if i asked my mom would read it and i would get in sooo much trouble i really need an answer thought but i still dont want to get in trouble

Over protective parents is an age old problum!and one that infuriates me I must say. So I assume your mum will read this question? If she does and she can see how her over the top behaviour is effecting you she may just remember what it was like to be your age. I suspect that's why you posted it, that was quite clever! Talk to your mum and explain how you feel, have you any understanding relatives who could talk to her for you?, she may be more inclined to listed to them. The main part of my answer I am addressing to your mam and I hope she reads it! ...... As a parent you want to protect and look after your child in every way you can. Their is a big difference between protection and mistrust, in fact the two are not at all the same and unfortunately you are confusing them! People always say the teenage years are one long battle between parent and teen. I happen to think this is an untrue and pessimistic attitude but there are always going to be issues to be battled over. The fact is all issues boil down to one: The teen wants to grow up, the parent doesn't because it scares the hell out of them - you know exactly what I'm talking about. Just remember this - it is a fight you are designed to lose because invariably despite your actions they will grow up! So accept it, remember what it was like to be that age, clean up your definitions of protect and mistrust - then maybe you an your 'young adult' NOT 'child' will have a relationship to be desired. AND they will dare to ask questions that seem pretty important to them!
Derfel

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my mom said i cant have a sweet 16 party with my friends bc my sisters didnt get one..do u think this is fair or no?

Short and honest answer? NO! And I don't think its fair your sister didn't get one either. I think your mom is a miserable bugger, so go out have fun and enjoy your self anyway. Screw her!
Derfel x

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Me and my friend were walking up to her house, we got round the corner near the lampost and we were like 20 metres away from her house. As we got round the corner there was a tall white van parked and a man standing there with his door open, I saw his arm moving so i looked down to see him wanking!! It was groose and he smerk at us.
I told my friend and she looked down to quickly we walked up to her house, when outside the house she shouted "MUM!!" as we climbed over her fence, he looked up at us quickly jumped in his van and drove off at the speed of light. He now knows where she lives and she cant sleep at night. Her mum didnt believe us and we told everyone in the neighbour hood to keep an eye out.

Im scared for life when anyone metions the words, wanking, penis, white van. I hate it so much i went white as a ghost when i saw him doing it.

I was shaking all day we tried to get her mum to report it to the police but she said "He might have just been goin for a piss" but i know he wasnt or piss would be comeing out of his dick.. not spunk. and he wouldnt exactly point it right at us..

How can my friend get over the fact that he knows where she lives?

sorry for it being so long lush me x

What the man was doing was a serious criminal offence and I am at a loss as to how a parent can ignore their child being subjected to that. You know you don't have to wait for any one else to report this to the police and it doesn't matter if your friends mam doesn't want it reporting - he was committing a crime and you where the victims, you need to report it. I'm not saying you could report it or you should report it I'm saying you need to report it, you must report it. This man is the sort of person society needs protecting from and what we're talking about is the safety of you and others. Having said that you can reassure your friend that he's very unlikely to be back now. Just ask her to make sure she doesn't go out far alone. Talking to the police about this is also likely to help put her mind at rest. Also - although it may not seem so important right now, i think it is - your friend needs to sit down with her mom and find out why she wouldn't take this seriously and how that made her feel. Buy for now Derfel xx

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My boyfriend is at his dads for spring break and his dad lives 3 hrs away from here. I am finding it really hard to get him off my mind. I just lay around thinking of him and waiting for him to call me. But he only calls me late so he wont get in trouble. What can i do to pass the time and get him off my mind?

Hi,
I understand you really miss him and that your finding him being away really difficult but if its serious between you and your boyfriend, if your in love then you can only expect that - its just a singe of how much you love and care for him and he will be feeling exactly the same stuck up there for the holidays when he wants to be with you! Theirs nothing wrong with thinking of him 24/7 and waiting desperately for his calls and for when you next see him but you'll find it easier if you do spend your time with friends and try to enjoy the holidays as best you can - it may make the time go a little quicker. Think about all the time you'll spend together when he gets back and maybe put your time now into planning something special for him returning. Buy for now Derfel xx

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couple of nights ago i had sex with one of my best friends we were really into the moment and we did it without a condom i pulled out way before i came and she orgasmed and the next mornin she started her period. i know im prolly being paranoid but i always hear theres a chance of a girl being pregnant even if the guy didnt cum so if anyone knows how high the chance of her being pregnant is please tell me thank you.

I’m not going to lecture you on safe sex but pleas, pleas don’t make the mistake of having unprotected sex again. Withdrawing before you ejaculate is not likely to work at all to be quite honest. The fact that she started her period the morning after gives you the all clear – this time. Always remember the condom but if this does happen again you need to see a Dr for emergency contraception as soon as you can, don’t just leave it and panic. Have fun but with the condom! Lol Derfel X

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I really love this girl i am talking to i mean i lvoe to talk to her and be with her as much as possible, i am 17 and turn 18 in about 4 months we are talkin about movin in together do you think that is a good idea she is already 18

Well do you think it’s a good idea? – that’ s the question. I don’t know you or this girl so how can I say if the two of you living together would work out or not? In fact even if I did how could I say that? Bottom line – its down to the two of you to decide but if you like her like you say and she feels the same I can’t see why you shouldn’t. Derfel

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Ok, about a month ago I noticed a small lump around my crotch.. I have just noticed it getting bigger.. Its about 5mm long, and 2mm high.. what do you think it is? could it possibly be cancer? if so.. what sort?

17/m

Hi there I understand how worried you must be however this could be any number of things and is not likely to be serious. You do need to go and see your Dr though, better safe than sorry and you need to get it checked out and put your mind at rest. Make that appointment but don’t worry!
Derfel x

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Ok! I really do like my boyfriend alot!!! But, when he wants to kiss me I get scared, I have never kissed anyone yet! I just am really scared what should I do, I don't want him to think I don't like him? HELP

Well the first thing I’ll say is you should only ever do what you feel you want to do, don’t feel that you HAVE to kiss him. The thing is I’m almost certain you do want to but your scared – it’s your first time, what will happen? What if you can’t do it? What if you make a fool of your self? These are all totally normal fears that every one goes through. The best way to over come them? – Just go for it! It does just come naturally and afterwards you’ll feel fantastic. Talk through your worries with your boy friend, you know that if he’s the one for you he’ll be patient and understanding but he does need to no why your so reluctant to kiss him. For more advice on the ‘technical’ side of kissing drop a message in my inbox but trust me its dead easy! Good luck
Derfel x

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