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Ok everyone lets keep this simple. My name is Chris, I am an 18 year old guy. I am also a senior in HS. I am a good listener and even better at giving advice because I have had to deal with a lot of adversity. Anyway, so here is my advice column...
advice
I'm 19/m
I've never masterbated before, and honestly I've never had an urge to.. Am I abnormal?
No your not abnormal. Its more common that guys our age do/have masterbated before (I'm a 19/m too.) But this certainly doesn't mean that your abnormal. Its something you do for fun, if your not ready or don't feel like doing it, then don't. Its not really a big deal either way.
I'm babysitting my next-foor neighbor's 3 kids. They are 10, 6, and 2. This is my first time babysitting on my own and I`m a little nervous. What should I do to keep them busy? What do I do if they begin to fight with each other, or one starts to cry? Any tips?
I am sure that your really excited about this and I bet your going to do just fine. Some general rules of thumb you might want to know are the following.
BEFORE THE PARENTS LEAVE:
& Don't let the first time you meet these children be when your going to babysit them. Make sure you meet them atleast before you babysit them (with there parents with you) so the parents can see how the children act around you.
& Also be sure to look around the house before the parents leave to see any potential problems the kids could get into.
& Make sure that you have a list of emergency phone numbers and any special things you should know about the children (bedtimes, allergies, rules, health condictions etc.)
WHEN THE PARENTS ARE GONE:
& Make sure that you fix any problems or disputes amongst the kids right away and let them know that your there to have fun while there parents are away but that they must also follow the rules.
& Have a small bag of age approiate toys and games that you have brought to help entertain the kids.
That's all I can think of right now but I hope that helps you out! I bet your gonna do great. Remember if something happens that you can't handle don't be afraid to call for help (try calling your own parents first for advice, they might not be able to help but they might tell you that you need to call the childrens parents.)
I recently babysat for one of my husband's coworkers for a few days. After seeing a few warning signs, I'm beginning to think that the children are not being taken care of and that she may be abusing them.
This woman brings the children out in freezing weather with no jackets. She drops them off with no supplies. The children don't appear to have been bathed. They have severe, untreated diaper rash which leads me to think they're not being changed like they should. I've also noticed bruises on one of the children. It could be from bumping something, but from the look of the bruises I suspect the child was hit. When I feed them, they act like they haven't been fed in a while.
I've tried talking to her, but she told me it was none of my business. I'm worried what might happen if I don't do something. Should I call social services and report my suspicions?
I would suggest that you contact your local DCF (Department of Children and Families) and talk to a representative from there. Its good that you are keeping your eyes open and are looking out for these children's best interest. I would suggest that you not try to solve this problem by yourself because you may get a bad reaction and if your wrong there could be potential problems. Its best to let professionals handle this problem or at least give you the best advice for you handling it.
is it absolutely 100% neccessary for a woman to go to a gynocologist at some point in her life? and what do they do, exactly?
This is actually a really good questions and I am glad someone asked it. As a nursing student I have found in my studies that it is absolutely necessary for a woman to go to the gynocologist. For those of you who said its "only for someone who is sexually active" you couldn't be more wrong. Attending a gynocologist is important not only for sexually related female issues but the gynocologist makes sure that you don't have any other issues with your female reproductive organs such as infections or cancer or anything like that. Its a good idea when a girl is in her teenage years to start visiting a gynocologist regularly. In many cases the gynocologist will give you a clean bill of health and may tell you that you don't need to come back for a 6 months to a year or in some cases only if you have questions or a problem. For a woman going to the gynocologist should become like going to a dentist appointment or any other doctor's appointment, a regular practice even if it is at times uncomfortable. I hope that this has helped.
What does the phrase "wearing your heart on your sleeve" mean?
I have always loved this expression. "Wearing your heart on your sleeve" means that you show exactly how you feel especially when it comes to love. It also means that you leave your heart open for love but its also means that your open for heartbreak. I hope that this helps!
im 16 years old and 8 months pregnant..my boyfriend ..which is the father and is 19..wont have anything to do with me..he wont even touch me anymore yea he comes over every now and then but he doesnt stay long..it breaks my heart because i love him so much..he says he loves me but it definately doesnt feel like it..what can i do?
I am so sorry that this happened to you, it’s a very sad thing. I think it’s a good idea for you to invite him to your house and ask to sit down and speak to him. Ask him how he is feeling and if there is anything he needs to tell you. Pregnancy is a really tough thing for any couple. Everyone knows it’s difficult for girls, and I wouldn't want to be a girl in that position for any amount of money. It's stressful and tiring (among other things.) But I think sometimes people forget that guys get stressed out too. And I am gonna tell you a secret when I say this. As guys we freak out during the pregnancy time, we don't know what to do or what not to do to make our gf’s/wives/etc. more comfortable during this whole process. There are also guys who just shut down when they have to face this kind of life changing news. Some guys just aren’t ready to deal with the consequences of their actions. Most guys grow up and face their responsibility but sadly, there are those whom just run away from it. But you don't know what exactly is the situation yet. I think you need to really sit down and talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel as well as asking him how he feels. I think it will really help. Best of luck! If you need to chat feel free to AIM me.
AIM: StikyNoteRightr
Does anyone know any websites where I can download mp3s for free or really cheap?
Thanks
Use Napster its 1 buck a song or you can pay for it by the month and get unlimited downloads. Anything thats free is probably illegal. Be safe, be legal. ;)
Last Friday me and my friend (lets call him Joe), were cuddling on the couch. But it was big like he had his arms on my hips and everything. it was kind of cute. Anyway we've kissed once as a dare and 3 times in this game suck and blow(they play it in the movie clueless, its when you put a piece of paper to your lips and suck in that way you can hold it up and then the person sitting next to you has to get the paper to stick of to thier lips so if you drop it you kiss.). The funny thing is he kept saying he was this master and dropped it like 3 times haha. We always flirt thats a given. He said to my friend that me and him are friends with benifits are we?
Hey Cindy,
Well you and "Joe" are friends and what you seem to be doing is def. on the "benifits" side. I have tons of girls that are my friends who are in FWB reltionships and like it because they don't have to deal with all the drama of a BF/GF relationship. If you want it to keep the relationship as it it then let the good times roll. If you want "Joe" to be more then just FWB then tell him either he becomes your BF or else no more "Kiss and Blow". ;*
Best of luck!
okay theres a girl in my class whos really anoying i hate her and i know this is imature but wishs she would die. she likes me and im afraid that shes going to ask me to dance with her. (we have this stupid rule that sais you are not alowed to reject someone to slowdance) give me some good ideas of how to avoid her. thanks
I know that I am probably not going to get a high rating for this but here is my advice. You have a few options. I personally have had a situation that was JUST like this. When I was in the 8th grade this girl (who is now a friend of mine) asked me early at the dance to slow dance, I didn't want to but I panicked and said "yes". All during the night it was fast dancing so I just danced with other girls and everybody. When the slow dance part came I saw her before she saw me so I went into the bathroom and hid because I didn't want to dance with her. I waited until the very last song, came out of the bathroom and pretended to be looking for her I even asked people where she was just to make it looked like I was trying to find her. Needless to say I did find her but the last song was over. Years later we are friends now but she told me how much she wished I had found her sooner. It hurts a lot knowing that I avoided her on purpose. I did slow dance with her this year at our dance just as friends and it wasn't a big deal at all. I think what you should do is give this girl that one dance and know that you did something really nice for someone else. Or if you absolutely can't do that then I would suggest talking to her before the dance and tell her how you have feelings for someone else and you don't want to hurt her feelings. One more idea is to find a girl you like as a friend or whatever and ask her to the dance, stick with her that night and maybe the other girl will get the idea. Best of luck dude!
My room mate an I have started to fall for each other. Everything is great except, we live together. I have no idea how to handle the situation becasue I've never lived with a guy I was dating. Does anyone have anything to say that will help me?
I hope that it works out for you two but to be hoenst its not a good idea to fall for a roomate. If you start a relationship and things go sour then the living arrangment gets messed up as well. I would suggest one of you moves out and then you can date and see how it goes. If it goes really well then you can move back together and take it from there. That way if things go bad one of you has a place to move to. Best of luck to you!
My best friend just passed away :-[. she was only 13 and she died of cystic fybrosis. i miss her soo much! we have been best friends since the day we met .. when we were 3! every night i cry myself to sleep because i miss her so much! She passed away last week. PLEASE HELP ME! what can i do to keep her with me and what can i do to make me get over the fact that im never gonna see her again!? thanks a lot ..
I am very sorry about your friends death. One of my very good friends has CF too. I watch her having trouble with this disease that is slowly killing her and it hurts me inside too. There really isn't any one thing you can do to help deal with your loss. I suggest you write something about her; a paragraph, a journal entry, a story, a poem or whatever. Just something where you can express yourself and vent your feelings. Or if your not good at writing you can draw something, compose something musical or make something artistic in her memory. I would also suggest that you try to meet with her family and discuss how you feel and how much you miss her. I think it could help you both. If you need to talk to someone about it I would be happy to talk to you. Best of luck to you.
Feel free to AIM me anytime.
Screenname: StikyNoteRightr
Ok, I'm 17/f and I just had a baby. He's 3 weeks now and I'm having a hard time supporting him. His dad won't do anything. He says that he's not sure if it's even his which is a completely false because I gave my virginity to him. He said he won't pay a time until he knows that it's his so he wants a paternity test. So I arranged for the test and he never showed up. He gave me a bogus excuse but I said fine and scheduled another one. We've gone through this process 5 times and he still won't help me or even get the test done. I dropped out of school and I'm working 2 jobs to try and support him because I have no family to help me. My best friend has been an angel she's been taking him to the school and putting him in the day care center so that I can work. She's also been watching him after school for me. I've tried paying her but she refuses the money. She's only one that I have helping me. I need his help. I just don't have enough money. I don't want to put her in foster care because I grew up in different foster homes and I refuse to put her threw that. I think that things would be fine if I could just get him to pay even a little child support. How do I go about taking him to court for child support? Do I need to hire a lawyer for this or can I do it on my own? If he needs to have a paternity test done is there anyway that I can make sure that he will actually show up?? Please help me I'm really confused. I will rate 5's to anyone who tries.
You poor girl. You have a lot of things you have to worry about. It sounds like you need some serious help and I am here to do my best that I can. Lets first of all look at the issue of you taking care of your baby. I am not sure your living arrangements or your financial situation but it does sound like you are eligible for assistance. I work at a Grocery store and I know of two programs that help low-income family’s make sure there is good food on the table. They are called WIC and Food Stamps. WIC comes in the form of a check and it says right on it what you are allowed to get. It only lets you get certain things you will need for your baby/young child like; Formula, Milk, Cereal, Juice, Bread, Deli Meats/Cheese etc. Go to the Federal WIC website (http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/) and you can schedule an appointment at a WIC office in your state near your town. Food Stamps are no longer a book of paper stamps but instead are in the form of a credit card called "EBT". Go to the Federal Food Stamps website (http://www.fns.usda.gov/fsp/) and it gives you details on how to apply. I'm not sure if you knew but for Food Stamps and WIC, only the cashier at the grocery store you shop at will be able to tell the difference between a food stamp EBT card and a normal credit card or a WIC check and a regular check. Just remember that this is not something to be embarrassed or ashamed about, everyone needs help sometimes and the important thing is that your working to support your child and your doing the best you can. You need help and I think this will really help you since food is such a big expense. I am not exactly sure on all the details of both programs but the programs should include food for both you and your child. Now for the issue of your baby's father. I would suggest (because I am not familiar with the laws of your state) that you go to the police and tell them your situation. Ask an officer what he/she suggests you do and the officer might also be able to help you find legal council to force your baby's father into taking a mandatory paternity test. A judge’s court order would force this guy into taking the test and if he didn't show up he would face legal consequences. Besides the food assistance, I would suggest you look in your area for any type of consignment shops, Salvation Army stores or resale centers. These type of stores often have used clothing (most is in very good condition) and other things that can help you get what you need while saving money. I can name countless times that my family has donated to stores like that brand new baby/children’s clothing (still with the tags on it) that I ended up not ever wearing because I was too big to fit into it or didn’t like it for some reason. They also have tons of baby toys and other stuff that you can still use, fix up or redesign so it looks just like new for your baby. For right now these are the only suggestions and tips I can think of but I will try to think of some more, if you would like to talk or just keep me posted on your situation please feel free to e-mail me or AIM me. Best of luck!
E-Mail: StikyNoteRightr@aol.com, AIM: StikyNoteRightr
I'm a 19/f and about to lose my virginity to my boyfriend 22/f of 1 year. He himself is not a virgin and has had I think it was 3 partners in the past. There have been recent reported cases of HVI infections in our area. Well, I was always taught to treat everyone as if they had the virus because you never know who might actually have it. They probably don't even know. So, as a precaution I want to ask him to get tested. It's not that I don't trust him because I do. If I didn't, I wouldn't lose my virginity to him. I'm just afraid that he'll take it as if I don't trust him. I know it's a smart decision but I just don't know how to approach the subject. And, if he agrees to it then I will go with him and get tested also. Any opinions/advice is appreciated.
Let me just start out by saying I am so glad that you are informed and are firm in not losing your virginity until he has been tested. As a guy I totally respect a girl who is that intelligent and firm in her beliefs. This whole thing isn't an issue of trust, its you being concerned for your health and his health. Tell him that. Plus many people go for YEARS being healthy and perfectly fine with HIV and they don't even know it. Sit down and tell him it straight, you love him and care about him and for both of your health you want to be tested for HIV. I know you’re a virgin but as a gesture of good faith offer to be tested as well. Being tested can put his mind at ease and you’re not asking him anything your not willing to do yourself. Its just so your negative results can be down on paper that you don't have it, its undeniable proof. When he gets his results back, ask to see the results on paper and show him yours. With the results (that you have seen with your own eyes) you two can be happy together knowing that your in love and healthy. And that... is a beautiful thing. :)
By the way, I am sure you already know this. But don’t forget the condom. Its not only to prevent pregnancy and HIV (its not 100% protection, as I am sure you know) but a condom also helps protect you from getting other STDs (many of which he may not know he has). It’s also just a healthy thing to do. Not to make light of the situation but, this is something funny a friend of mine told me his girlfriend said to him before they had sex. Just tell your boyfriend (once you get the negative HIV results back) “Nothing without a raincoat gets in, just incase things get wet.”
(13/f) I live in Rhode Island and want to become an actress. Does anyone know of anywhere where I could go to get started? Please dont say my school because I need something for the summer! I'll rate 1's for people who say do something at my school and for "i dont know" and any other stupid remarks. I'll give 5's for anyone with a real answer and put effort into it.
*Stadium Threater is putting on one but you have to be 16+
YAY another RI person on here! Well I am not an acting buff but I have a few ideas. I don't know exactly where you live in Rhode Island but I will try to give you a few places I have found. I would suggest that you look at your Neighborhood Parks and Recreation building. They usually have acting classes for younger teenagers/kids for a fairly cheap rate. If that does work then I suggest you look and try to find if your town has any neighborhood centers for Arts. Many of them have classes in the arts and community theater that you can start in. And I hate to say it but talking to your schools Music/Drama department is really where you get the best information. Alot of the towns in RI have community theaters/art centers. There are also quite a few Neighborhood Parks and Recreation buildings, it may be located in/near your Town Hall.
I know this is long but please don't skip it. Ok, me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 years and we've known each other for 4. I just had a baby by him. He's willing to help and he's been trying but the problem is my parents. They are extremely religious and they said that he could have nothing to do with the baby. I was 16 at the time I got pregnant and he was 20. I am now almost 18 and he's 23. My parents said that if he got involved at all with Christian, our son, then they would have him arrested for rape. They said that the only way he can get involved is if he comes and asks for "my hand in marriage" We're not in love though and it's not right to marry someone just because your parents want you to. We know that we made a mistake but we are trying to be responsible about it. But my parents are making it difficult. My father is always at work and my mom is sick now so things are tough around here. I wanted to call my bf and see if he could take christian until things got better or maybe we could work something out but my dad flipped out and said that if i did he would have him arrested. They also took my keys and I had to listen to a lecture about jesus to get them back. They said that they would rather put Christian up for adoption than have him go to his father. My question is can my bf get arrested for rape even though it was a while ago and I dont' want him to be? And also if they put him up for adoption wouldn't his father get rights to him anyways?
Please help me
*will rate high*
Oh you poor girl, I am sorry for the circumstances your in. Let me try to clear up somethings for you. Until you are 18 years old I believe (I am not 100% positive) that your parents are able to legally pursue him for rape (because you were under 18 at the time). When you are 18 years old I believe that only you can persue him for rape charges. As far as adoption goes, it requires that both parents sign off parential rights (or in some cases the courts will sign the rights off for them if the judge sees fit.) Right now (until you are 18) I would have him keep his distance. I am not sure what your future plans are or if you work to earn money now. But something you should seriously consider is to attend a local community college to get a certificate or Associates degree (in some career your interested in) so you can earn more money for your child. The money you earn with a degree from a community college is much more than you will most likely earn without having one. Plus most Community Colleges have free or discounted daycare for all day-time students, most of the daycare centers are of good quality. It may be difficult at first to do this but it would help you and your baby out in the long run. As far as your boyfriend issue goes, I would suggest for him to keep his distance until his 18th birthday. For now you should ask him if he can help contribute to the baby's financial needs. If he is a real man he will step up and try to help anyway he can.
im a witch and i m trying to be a christian, i just went to this teen revial {aquire the fire} and felt all on fire for God, and then i just played 'light as feather w/my coven. am i stupid for trying to do both? do i have to be one or another? can i be both? so confused....
I have read some of the advice on here and to be honest I am a little worried about what some people are telling you. God will forgive those who take him and his son into their heart and realize God as the true and only savior. Wiccan and Christianity are complete opposites. I can speak with certainty because at one time I had tampered with and studied Wiccan. Thankfully, I was saved before I plunged too far into it, I hope that I can help save others from its grasp. Wiccan was a school of thought developed in the 60's by a man named Gerald Gardener. It was meant to be an earth-based, peaceful, feminist friendly religion. Problem is that it does have Pagan principles and foundations. No matter what anyone has told you there is no mixing of Wiccan and Christianity. It has to be either one or the other. God does not accept witchcraft and spells, they are considered to be the work of the Devil, he understands that the Devil can take his grasp on you and fool you into following his ways. That is why he can forgive you, and if you have realized your mistakes, come back to him and repel the Devil’s temptations you will be closer to him. I am not saying Wiccans are evil, I think they have just been misguided. I am also not saying that my religion is the only religion. You may choose to believe whatever you want, but I believe that my God is the only God and I will surrender myself to him. Back to your other questions, the God(s) a Wiccan prays to isn’t the same God a Christian prays to. Prayer and spells are not the same at all either, a spell is trying to ask or force your will on or for something. Christian prayer is surrendering yourself to God and his son and realizing that only he can save you. God is forgiving and can and will forgive you for being Wiccan up to this point in time. But you have had a sign, a chance to come back into his love, light and grace. I am not telling you what to believe but please heed what I say. God hasn't turned his back on you and he won't, but don't turn your back on him. He is calling you back to him, and back to into everything that he encompasses. I know what happened to me and why I turned down the path of Wicca and I know what it took to bring me back into God’s light. I really don’t think that I need to air out my personal life on here for everyone to read. But if you want to know what happened or talk to someone about this or anything else for that matter then please feel free to AIM me (StikyNoteRightr). Good luck and please keep me posted!
im 14/f and i have never had a boyfriend or even a kiss. the thing is i want one but, when people like me i say no because i want the one that i like and thats all. the thing is how do i get the person i like to like me back? but they may like some one else.thanks
please dont delete
Hi 14/f,
I don't want to patronize you or anything so I will try to deliver this the best way possible. I know you want a boyfriend and to have your first kiss and stuff like that. Heck, everyone does! But the important thing to realize is that you can't rush these things. I didn't get my first kiss (and gf) until I was 17. Guys want this just as much as girls do but you have to find the right person first and then everything falls into place. If you really want someone who you can be romantic with I would suggest that you start out finding a guy from step one. You have to find a guy who you have alot in common with, it's best to start off as just friends. As time goes on and you develop a deeper connection you two will be romantic when the times feels right. Huggin', kissin' and the whole nine yards will come in due time. I hope this has helped you!
"Some of these days.
Your gonna miss... my lovin'...
Your gonna miss... my huggin'...
Ohh, some of these days..."
(A quote from an old Jazz song)
My best friend has a really bad headlice problem. At school you can see them all in her hair! and the problem is i dont like hugging her because i feel shes going to pass them onto me. What can i do please help?? Shes had them for ages since ive known her mabe even before that.
rate high thanks
This must be a really tough situation for you. Some people would say to tell her directly. But some people don't respond well things like that. In this case I would go to your school nurse/medic and in private tell her that your friend may have lice but you don't want to embarrass your friend by saying something directly. The nurse/medic can bring your friend to there office and check her hair. Most likely the nurse/medic would tell your friends parents to keep her out of school for a while and give your friend the proper medicine and medical advice to solve the problem. My cousin had a problem with head lice, and she is a very clean person. Her mom is a hairdresser and noticed it. They found out that one of the girls at her school had it and came overnight and slept on one of the pillows. So it’s just a problem that some people have to face. Just support your friend and let the medical professional at your school know about it for your safety and others. By using this way, your friend will not feel, as embarrassed and other people probably wouldn't find out.
I have a great friend...we always talk about how we're gonna grow old together. But there's a problem. He smells extremely bad of bad B.O. I don't know how to tell him... people have come up to me and asked me to please tell him about it. I don't want to offend him...what should I do? How should I tell him?
Thanks a bunches for helping out!
This is a tough issue. But I do have an idea that may help. Get him a small gift set from some deoderent brand (Axe, Old Spice etc.). Give it to him and be like "I saw this and I wanted to get it for you because its smells really good. I wasn't sure what kind you use, but it smelled hot." If it doesn't work then just sit down and be honest with him but break it to him gently. He would really appriciate it. Best of luck!
my face is breaking out!! okay i have 2 ? any way one is anyideas on how to reduce these pimples?? and is it true if you put toothpaste on them they get better?? i know it sounds weird but thats what i heard!
thanks
XO0X*
Toothpaste does dry out and reduce the size of pimples but for the most part is only used if you have a very few pimples. Clearasil or Neutrogena products work very well. Um, I use rubbing alcohol on my face but I don’t' recommend it for just anyone. I have extremely strong oily skin. Do not use Alcohol if you have sensitive skin!! It will burn. But since my skin is strong and very oily I don't have to worry about having my skin too dried out or burned. Good luck! If you need any more help feel free to AIM me.