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Ok, I'm 17/f and I just had a baby. He's 3 weeks now and I'm having a hard time supporting him. His dad won't do anything. He says that he's not sure if it's even his which is a completely false because I gave my virginity to him. He said he won't pay a time until he knows that it's his so he wants a paternity test. So I arranged for the test and he never showed up. He gave me a bogus excuse but I said fine and scheduled another one. We've gone through this process 5 times and he still won't help me or even get the test done. I dropped out of school and I'm working 2 jobs to try and support him because I have no family to help me. My best friend has been an angel she's been taking him to the school and putting him in the day care center so that I can work. She's also been watching him after school for me. I've tried paying her but she refuses the money. She's only one that I have helping me. I need his help. I just don't have enough money. I don't want to put her in foster care because I grew up in different foster homes and I refuse to put her threw that. I think that things would be fine if I could just get him to pay even a little child support. How do I go about taking him to court for child support? Do I need to hire a lawyer for this or can I do it on my own? If he needs to have a paternity test done is there anyway that I can make sure that he will actually show up?? Please help me I'm really confused. I will rate 5's to anyone who tries.
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I cant imagine how stressful this situation is for you. I would suggest going to the school you dropped out of and asking a former teacher. It may be awkward, but I dont think they would refuse to help. If not, maybe you could talk to the dad's parents? Let them know whats going on, tell them of your sacrifices, and let them know that you need the money to supposed your son. If theyre on your side, they will hopefully talk to their son and get him to do the right thing. Im not sure if theres a way you can force him to pay child support without taking him to court. With a serious matter like this, I would say that taking him to court would be the best decision. Go to a law agency and tell them about your situation. Tell them you need a lawyer to get you the child support you deserve, but that money is tight. If not, maybe you could turn to your friend and find out if her parents have a lawyer that would represent you. I wish you the best, and hope everything turns out okay. Good luck and God bless you and your son.
xo_xo Kerri x3
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It seems to me that your babys father knows its his thats why he wont show up and i know that in michigan you can take him to court but the judge will probably make him take that test and im pretty sure you dont need a lawyer because its not like you murdered someone you just need child support and your friend you should be thankful for
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Wow Sweetie, Im sorry to hear this. I had a similar problem (but i was 19). Your very blessed to have your bestfriend helping you out. Sure, if you can you could try taking this situation to court, but im not positive it will actually help. What you should actually do, is even go on wellfare. Yes, do not put your baby in a foster home, its really hard. If your boyfriend is not helping with the child support, that is still involves the court. Im sorry to hear hes not coming to the paternity test.. its probably because he knows your right, and just doesnt have the brains or heart to take care of the baby. ( just like my old boyfriend ). What you need to do, is the options i gave you. Always be blessed to know you brought a wonderful daughter in the world, and also be blessed your friend is helping you out. I hope things turn around for the better.
xO * KRiSTEN
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Im pregnant right now. I was at the start having some problems with my boyfriend. he wanted to take me to court. I'd say talk to a lawyer and tell them whats going on and how its hard for u to make a living. He will get papers sent in the mail with a court date. he will have to show. if he refuses to pay child support after they tell him too , he will have to go to jail for x amount of days. and it will just keep happing until you give up. I'd say try it once .He must not be a man if he cant take care of his child. Men are immature , and girl mature so much faster then men . I wish you so much luck sweet heart. I hope to god you take him to court and they take money outta his paycheck everyweek so you are 100% sure you get your money. Tons of love and if u take him to court , please let me know how you make out . *mDezzy.
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Oooops - I forgot to say... sounds like your boyfriend is being a loser. Well, two can play at that game. Let him know that you are having a paternity test and give him a time and place. Tell him if he doesn't show up again then he won't get to see his son. You have a right do do and say this ny the way, especially as he isn't giving you any money. Also, going back to the benefits, there are special creches where you can take your baby that are really cheap - sometimes you can leave them there for the day if you need to work more - they will make friends and maybe you will too!! Good luck and really hope everything works out
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You poor girl. You have a lot of things you have to worry about. It sounds like you need some serious help and I am here to do my best that I can. Lets first of all look at the issue of you taking care of your baby. I am not sure your living arrangements or your financial situation but it does sound like you are eligible for assistance. I work at a Grocery store and I know of two programs that help low-income family’s make sure there is good food on the table. They are called WIC and Food Stamps. WIC comes in the form of a check and it says right on it what you are allowed to get. It only lets you get certain things you will need for your baby/young child like; Formula, Milk, Cereal, Juice, Bread, Deli Meats/Cheese etc. Go to the Federal WIC website ([Link](Mouse over link to see full location)) and you can schedule an appointment at a WIC office in your state near your town. Food Stamps are no longer a book of paper stamps but instead are in the form of a credit card called "EBT". Go to the Federal Food Stamps website ([Link](Mouse over link to see full location)) and it gives you details on how to apply. I'm not sure if you knew but for Food Stamps and WIC, only the cashier at the grocery store you shop at will be able to tell the difference between a food stamp EBT card and a normal credit card or a WIC check and a regular check. Just remember that this is not something to be embarrassed or ashamed about, everyone needs help sometimes and the important thing is that your working to support your child and your doing the best you can. You need help and I think this will really help you since food is such a big expense. I am not exactly sure on all the details of both programs but the programs should include food for both you and your child. Now for the issue of your baby's father. I would suggest (because I am not familiar with the laws of your state) that you go to the police and tell them your situation. Ask an officer what he/she suggests you do and the officer might also be able to help you find legal council to force your baby's father into taking a mandatory paternity test. A judge’s court order would force this guy into taking the test and if he didn't show up he would face legal consequences. Besides the food assistance, I would suggest you look in your area for any type of consignment shops, Salvation Army stores or resale centers. These type of stores often have used clothing (most is in very good condition) and other things that can help you get what you need while saving money. I can name countless times that my family has donated to stores like that brand new baby/children’s clothing (still with the tags on it) that I ended up not ever wearing because I was too big to fit into it or didn’t like it for some reason. They also have tons of baby toys and other stuff that you can still use, fix up or redesign so it looks just like new for your baby. For right now these are the only suggestions and tips I can think of but I will try to think of some more, if you would like to talk or just keep me posted on your situation please feel free to e-mail me or AIM me. Best of luck!
E-Mail: StikyNoteRightr@aol.com, AIM: StikyNoteRightr
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Honey go on welfare. I hate to put that way, but when you go an apply for assistance, they will want to know who the dad is, tell them. tell them how to find him. If you have his social security number all the better. THey will make him pay child support until HE PROVES that he is NOT the father, And I think he will have to pay for the test. Don't be ashamed and don't be embarassed. I don't know what serves as welfare in your state. It might be social services, it might be Dept. of children and families. I think you will find it in the blue pages of your phone book, under state government. Tell them about your finances, and your expenses, rent and stuff. Bring the paperwork with you to speed up the process. They will make that boy pay you. They will attach his pay, they will take money from him weekley and send it to you. With that money and your two jobs, you may not have to actually get welfare money, but maybe food stamps would help. In this state we have WIC, women, infants and children, where a mom can get milk, orange juice, and cereals for free. It helps out a little. They may even be able to help with day care expenses. ANd I don't think you'll be able to stay on welfare for more than two years. And don't worry if he doesn't have a job, they will throw him in jail if he doesn;t pay. Funny how they manage to come up with the money when they are threatened with jail.
Don't get cold feet, and start to worry about him, you have to take care of that baby and yourself. That is the most important thing in your life now You are trying your best .Most girls would have had an abortion. The baby deserves to have food, clothing and shelter, and he has to pay.
Now, getting a lawyer is always an option, but you will have to pay, you will have to pay up front, and in this case it starts at $2,500.
Welfare will do all the work for you because they don't want to pay you, so they will make sure that he pays. Now don't tell them that you KNOW this, just play dumb when you go there. Say that you are broke, you don't have enough money to make ends meet, and you need help, or you and the baby will soon be on the street.
If he left you, you would have to do this. I think you said he is still living with you. Throw him out and go to social services. I don't know what they will do or if they will help if he is living with you. YOu have to leave him or through him out. I hope this helps honey. Please hang in there. You are young and you and the baby have to come first. Now don't hook up with the first guy that comes along either. Take your time and find someone who will love you AND the baby. It won't be the first guy that comes along. Be choosy. Investigate. Pay attention to their actions and behaviors, not what they say.
Please write again if you want to, or if you have more questions.
Michele
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If you are taking him to court. Then yes you will need a lawyer. Trick him into coming for the test? Why not talk to a counsiler (sp?) at a foster home..and talk to them. Maybe they can find a loving family who will help you raise your child, yet you will still have the abilities and see her as well? I don't know I just got off that last part from Monday's espoide of 7th Heaven if you watch that or ever heard of that show.
-need anything else feel free to drop one in-
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