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Qokay so me and my girlfriend do everything but sex. and well she loves me to finger her. is there a way to bring her to orgasm fast? how do i tell if she has an orgasm?
help is appricated
AAs a woman who's masturbated since pre-puberty, I personally know how to make myself orgasm within a minute; unfortunately for me, no woman can be a real spokeswoman on this, as both our bodies and tastes may differ extremely.
I could tell you what to do to make me orgasm fast, but I feel that would be backwards: you aren't making out with me. What you really need to do is ask your girlfriend what she does alone.
Roleplay like she's the Queen of Sheba and you're her house-slave or something; have her give orders. Tease her body and see what makes her pant, moan, and wriggle.
When she orgasms, her tummy will tense and she won't want you to switch spots; she'll writhe and push against you. She might make a worrying amount of noise. I suggest that by this point, you've learned to use your tongue and fingers at the same time: fingers reaching up and in, in a "c'mere, c'mere" motion, with your tongue teasing her clitoris.
More importantly, take a minute to decide whether you want to give her a quick orgasm ... or an AMAZING one. Time spent teasing often = a more mindblowing experience; she can either look back to you as the reliable, boring orgasm-giver, or the guy who spent hours making her forget that anything else existed; your choice.
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QI really value the advice you gave me when my guy had a misunderstanding about me.It helped me alot...
My messenger add is - shameera8@hotmail.com
I would greatly appreciate having you as someone to advice me.. Because sometimes i feel all alone...
Thanks alot in advance
also... if you choose to add me please mail me a little note verifying you cos i get a alot of unknown ppl adding me which i usually reject...
AI sent a request and an email; hoping I can check in with you again soon. :)
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QI'm 17 and my boyfriend is 21.
I was very sick yetsterday since i had a stomoch ache due to periods.I cudnt call my boyfriend the whole day yetserday even tho i was supposed to cos i could hardly talk (bcos i was having a severe pain).So instead i called him last night.He was really pissed with me.you see while browsng hi5 the day before yesterday i came across a celebrity's profile.My freind natasha is crazy on him.So I mailed that celebrity on behalf of natasha to ask him his handphone number cos natasha couldnt go online to do so since she has a computer breakdown.
My boyfriend has seen the mail yesterday and he thinks i mailed that celebrity becos i'm crazy on person or something.
so he was really pissed with he. he says "if u can mail that celebrity to ask his phone number why cant you call me?, havent you got time?"
I love my boyfriend aloooot and it hurts me the way he talks.I think the world of him and i think he's the most handsomest guy on earth.How do i explain this to him?
I know he loves me alot too.
He probably thinks i dont love him at all.
please, what do i so about this. please help me.
I'm really depressed.
I would sure appreciate it alot if i could get some help
AIt sounds like he's a bit insecure for some reason, and it's hard dealing with that when you know he's your ultimate -- for you, it goes without saying, whereas many people have trouble seeing such value in themselves.
I'd suggest you make a special time to get together with him. Let him know beforehand that there's no problems to deal with, but there was a misunderstanding you want to get cleared up in person.
Light a couple candles, see if he'll bring a bottle of wine, then sit and tell him exactly what you told me. Don't go overboard with your praise; just be sincere and make sure he knows how much you really value him and what your reason was for not getting ahold of him.
There's a possibility he'll want you, in those situations, to give him a very quick call just to say "Hi, I don't feel well today, but I just wanted to check in for a minute." His day might be hard without hearing your voice, so let him know exactly how much you can or can't do.
All he needs to know is that he's prioritized, that you haven't neglected him in preference of doing something else. I'm sure a nice dinner and sit-down chat will sort that out, no bother. :)
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Qok well i liked or at least i think i still like him im not even sure anymore, but lets just say that i still do like him. well he found out that i liked him so he invited me to his house on memorial day weekend and we hung out in his basement and watched a movie and we hooked up. and it was my first time and i was really happy. and we dont go to the same school anymore cos i moved two years ago, but we stayed friends. and so the night before school started that weekend at like 11pm i texted him and i said"i loved being with you on friday night! i miss you already!" and he texted me back, and was like "me too, what are you doing next weekend" which kinda made me upset cos like i guess i was expecting for him to message me with something else. ok so then last weekend i wanted him to come over, but he asked if he could sleep over cos his mom wouldnt want to pick him up so late since we live a halfhour apart. and so i asked my mom and she said yes. but then the night he was supposed to come over i really didnt feel right about him sleeping over so i told him that i had to study for my finals and he kinda got mad. but then yesterday neither of us had school so he invited me to his house. and i went and i nkow that he isnt a virgin and i am. and i knew that i wasnt ready to make it to that point yet cos hes the only one who ive ever hooked up with you know and i dont love him. and we were making out on his couch(no one was home) and we were lying down. and we were making out and i felt him touch my belt and i waited to see if he would try to undo it and i felt him try to or at least i thought i did and i said no. and he took his hand off and he said he was sorry and we kept making out. and he kept trying to put his hand up my shirt, and i kept moving his hand away. but then he finally did. and i dont rember if i made him stop o he just did on his own. but then he kept moving my hand toward his penis and he put my hand over his penis(his pants were still on) and he just to make me like massage it if you will. and i moved my hand again. and then i fell asleep and i dont know if he knew if i were asleep or not and i woke up and we were holding hadn and he start moving my hand down his boxers slowly and before he got the chance to move my hand all the way down i just pulled my hand totally away, and like i heard him kinda like "huff+puff" like he was fustrated. and then he had his hand like under my belly button like sotof going down my pants, and he was just rubbing me. but i was really afraid he was gonna stick his hand down there so i moved his hand about 6 inches up. and i was really upset cos i wasnt ready to have sex or anything or go to the next level, and i think he was mad cos i wouldnt. and then my friend who lives in boston text mesaged him last ngiht and was like why did you take advantage of jessi? and he was like well after three hours of making out i got bored. and that made me really upset. and the kid i like messaged my friend john back and was likew ell why dont you just hookup with ehr and john said well if i were to hookup with her itd be because i actually care about her and not for my own benefit. and harrsion messaged him back and said well im sorry that i dont become soul mates with someone the second i see them. wich made me even more mad. cos hes known me for four years and john has only known me for two. and john cares a lot more about me than harrsion does. and me and john are just really good friends and i thought harrison actually liked me. well i wrote this letter to harrsion, so can you tell me if i should give it to him and also some advice on what i should do about him .. like im proud of myself for not letting him take advantage of me but idn, everything still just feels wrong
you really hurt me on thursday. i know how far you have gone, and thats great. but im just not ready for anything like that, and im sorry but thats just how i feel. and obviousily you dont care about me, cos if you didnt you wouldnt have said "well after three hours of making out i got bored" to john. i really thought that you liked me for me, but i guess i was wrong. i was so happy to just be with you, but i guess we're both looking for two totally different things. i'm looking for someone who i really want to be with for a long time and who ill be able to remember for basically the rest of my life. i know that that sounds corny, but this is something that i've wanted for a really long time, and i thought that i could have that with you. but i guess you're just looking for someone who you can "get busy" with. and thats great for you. but that just isnt something i want out of some one, so i guess we're just not meant to be together. and im really upset with the way you treated me. how many times did i need to pull my hand away before you realized that i wasnt going to give you a hand job and for you to realize that i didnt want you putting your hand down my pants. i was just so afriad that it was going to lead into something that i was going to regret. i wasnt about to loose my virgintiy to you right then and there. because i know for a fact that you arent in love you me. and i know that im not in love with you. and i know that you have had sex before, and obviousily you werent in love with them, because if you did, you would probably still be with them. well, i hope you understand how i do feel, because i was able to tell that you were getting frustrated with me cos i wouldnt go as far as you would have liked to go. but i think we should just be friends because i really just dont want to be with you because im just not ready for what you obviousily are ready for.
AI totally understand your response to this situation; I tend to react the same way. I've gotten into a lot of sticky situations because, first off, I like to spend a lot of time just gaining a close relationship with someone without that depth of physical intimacy, and because I also have a hard time saying
I want to do THIS.
I do not want to do THAT.
If you can continue doing what I'm ok with, that's great. If not, let's do something completely different -- like watch a movie or play video games. If you keep doing that, I'll stop hanging out with you.
You're touching my crotch. Stop please.
You are touching my crotch again. Stop.
STOP TOUCHING ME.
STOP IT NOW.
... Basically, you did just fine -- but it'll be easier if you let them know beforehand that "I want to make out, but I don't want it to get too heavy. Let's save that for another time, ok?"
One other thing to consider is maybe he's not really using you; a lot of people, guys and girls, think / feel that they need to gain physical intimacy first, in order to get to know someone.
This is not my style, and it's never something to force yourself into if you're not that type, but it's good to know where he stands.
Ask him if he can still get to know you, and get close, without that physical contact; if he can't, maybe he's really not the guy for you.
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Q hello people have been tellin me rumors that they have seen my boyfriend behind a 7/11 makin out wiyh a girl but he said thats so stupied why wud i do that if the 7/11 is right next to your house than i heard that he fingered and made out widd his ex gf a couple of saturdays ago but he told me he wud never cause he hated her b/c when they went out she cheated on him many times and the day they broke up she told him so he hate her for that than this friend of mine met my bf the other day and said he was huggin and beling all over his friend andrea that i am even chill with and i dont know cause chris likes me and i dont know if he was tryin to break me and mike up but he yelled at chris and said why are you lien to my girl and sayin stuff thatt aint tru... but like every day he tells me how much he loves me and how he wud never cheat on me cuase he said he said he knows wat it feels like to be cheated on cause it has happend to him and i told him to never cheat on me and jus break up widd me if you like another girl i am really!! confused and i need help or adivice?!!
AIt really sucks when you can't tell who to trust in a situation like that, especially when one of them is your partner. Unfortunately, I don't think you'll be able to figure it out based on his actions -- he'd act the same way whether he was telling the truth or not.
Cheaters like to act like non-cheaters. So it's hard to tell.
I'd take a careful look at the people who're telling you he's cheating: do they have reasons to bad-mouth him? Do they care enough about you not to want to see you hurt?
Take a look at their allegations: does it make sense that he'd be behind the 7-11 on that day, at that time, with that girl? Does it make sense that he'd hook up with his ex?
It's possible, too, that you don't know everything about his relationship with his ex: maybe she's turned psycho and is having her friends help break you two up. Then again, maybe he left out a few details, like if he cheated on her, or she cheated because she thought he was cheating, or ...
The details might be pretty tangled, but all you have to do is gather information from as many people as possible and figure out what makes sense. Try to stay calm throughout the process: ANY of it might be lies, and you'll work it out best when you're calm.
Then, if it seems like he's cheating, bring your evidence to him and ask him to clear it up. If he is, decide whether you want to fix that or not, give him some pretty straight-forward reasoning, and either stay to work it out, or walk away calm and powerful.
If not, let him know that you think people are trying to mess with him. Let him know that you're backing him up.
Either way, it seems like somebody is doing something wrong: either the boy is cheating, or his so-called friends are spreading rumors -- and hurting you by doing it. You're caught in the middle and it'd be best if you knew what was going on.
Best of luck. I know you can work it out.
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Q16/f
well my best friend is a guy. we hang out a lot alone because we've been friends for so long. well he came over today, my parents are out of town for the weekend, and we were in my room talking and such. there was an awkward moment where it was silent and we kissed. just a long kiss. then we stopped and stared at each other for a second.. then i basically threw him onto my bed and we made out for a while. i'm a virgin but he did it with his ex. so i don't know what came over me it was sort of like a movie scene. we just started taking each other's clothes off and before i knew it we were having sex. well i loved it and um, he's a guy so duh, but after we were done and just laying there i started to regret it a little. i love him but he is my best friend. i never thought of him romantically, but now i just don't know. it really complicated things. he put on his clothes after a little and i said you should go. so i just kissed him goodbye. i guess in that moment i felt really attracted to him and wasn't thinking straight. maybe this has been something that has always been there but i've never noticed it. now i don't know what to say to him or what to do next but i think i could be with him. obviously i feel comfortable around him and safe, and i like him as a person because he's my best friend. but if i am with him and it goes bad, we'll most likely stop being friends.
any advice :/
AThat must have been a sweet, intense experience! Congratulations. :)
As long as you continue to cooperate and support one another as great friends, nothing has to go bad, even if you do decide to pursue a romantic or physical relationship with him.
First off, I think you should re-evaluate your own feelings towards him: are you just jazzed over giving your virginity to such a well-trusted friend, or did this really change your view of him? If it's the latter, you probably can't just "go back," and it'd be tough if he didn't feel the same way. It'll be just as tough if he's more attached than you, now, as well.
Stay kind of nonchalant: what did you do together before, play video games? Write, draw, watch movies? Keep that going to let him know that you're not going to cut him off.
Then, if you're interested in a more intimate relationship, be a tiny smidgen more familiar and flirty, and keep an eye out for signs that he feels the same way. Brief touches to his arm, smiles, giggling at his jokes, brief eye contact, and saying his name are good starting points that shouldn't be too overpowering if you find that he's not interested.
But do also keep an eye out for signs that he's uncomfortable, awkward, or avoidant of you: these would mean you need to be more casual, like a regular friend again.
If the time comes -- you either feel like you're going to get involved, or you feel like you're being driven apart -- have a good in-depth talk with him about what happened and how you each feel about it.
Then, on a somewhat unrelated note, think about your choices of contraceptive and STD protection. Do you need testing? Do you need, and have time for, the morning-after pill (within 72 hours)?
Basically, everything will be fine if you stay calm and work together. After that, all the great things that can happen to you are up to you. Best of luck! :)
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QIs it slutty for a girl and a guy (that liked each other) to publically, loudly, & obnoxiously flirt..like in class? How far would be too far?
Thanks
AEverybody wants to revel in a mutual crush every once in a while; it's not sluttish, but it can be disruptive and inconsiderate of other people around you.
Others could start rumors, typically at the expense of the girl involved, and it may put your friends off of your company.
I think that if you're concerned about the reactions in your own social circle, ask a few of your closest friends one-on-one what they think the boundaries are, what they think would hurt your reputation, and so forth.
Every circle of friends is different. Mine might tease a bit, then tell me directly to knock it off; other circles are less accepting.
Basically, figure out how to keep people comfortable, get a few close friends in your corner, and for goodness sake, don't disrupt your classes TOO much. ;)
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QOk this is the same person that asked that freakishly long question about this guy named drew.
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=493029
This might be kind of long too, but not as. Please help hahah!
But anyway, I finally told him how I felt, not that I was crying about him all night, since I didn't want to freak him out, but I did tell him I really liked him and all. I wasn't sure if I was bothering him, so I apologized for the randomness and if I was bothering him.
And he said hahah it's ok, don't worry about it. i'm just not interested in a relationship right now, but I do like being friends, so friends?
So I said that was fine, that I liked being friends too. I never saw him in school after that, since we [the seniors] were only in school for the 1st 20 minutes, before going to the auditorium for graduation practice [got to leave at 9:30 each day!].
But I saw him on Thursday, because after I graduated, I went up to the school to talk to some of my friends, since a lot of them are in band and chorus, who were part of the graduation ceremony. I went up w/ my best friend Sam and waited while he gave his robe back to the chorus teacher.
And who happens to show up, but Drew. I was a little embarrassed and all, so I looked away and pretended I was very interested in the opposite wall. Well, he actually came up to me and gave me a hug and said an excited hi. And then he jokingly made fun of me, because he's a senior and I'm a freshman now. So we laughed and then he went to turn his robe in.
Then Sam came out and Drew followed. Sam, being a little crazy, pushed me into Drew. So we were both like, whoa there hahah. But then he picked me up and gave me a spinning hug. [:D] And then me, Sam, and Drew talked for a little bit, and I had to leave to get my actual diploma in the cafeteria, so as me and Sam were leaving, Drew was saying goodbye, congratulations, and then he said he'd text me. Which I thought was great, because the last time we texted, way back in November, we texted for 3 days straight and almost went out, so I was pretty excited.
I didn't think he'd actually text me or anything, so when I got home, I put my purse, with my cell in it, on the kitchen table and went on the computer for a bit before going to bed. And it turned out, he actually did text me, saying hey. And I didn't realize until an hour later, 12 midnight. I didn't want to text back, in case he wasn't awake, so I went to bed.
So yesterday, we went to the local amusement park in Pittsburgh for the school picnic. I was walking around with Sam and he saw Drew. So he dragged me over there and we talked for a bit, and he hugged me again with another excited hi hahah. But his group was leaving, so that's all that happened and I didn't see him anymore that day. So when we were going home, Sam started texting him [Sam's a guy, in case I didn't clarify]. I'm not gonna write the whole convo, but first, Drew told him to tell me he said hi. And then he told Sam that he didn't know what to say to me, that he should've rode something with me. So Sam was like, yes, you should have, and Drew texted back that he was sorry. And I told Sam to text him back saying I said it was ok and maybe next time. So he texted back, yeah that'd be cool. But he had to go to bed, cause he had SATS this morning, so they stopped texting.
And that's about it, to this point.
Just one more side-note. I texted him a few times during the day yesterday at the park, but he ignored 2/3 of them. Although he ignored Sam for a while when he first texted him, but finally texted him back 1 1/2 hours later.
So what does this whole thing mean? Is he trying to show that he does like me-like me even though he's not ready for a relationship yet? Or is he just being extra friendly? I don't know, and Sam told me he found out from someone that Drew likes it when a girl plays hard to get. And if that's true, how do I go about doing that? Especially when I've already fallen this hard for him? And then, what if I do play hard to get, and he forgets about me? Ahh help!
Sorry for the length!!
Erin
AIt sounds to me like maybe after having left it be for a while, he's reconsidering, and maybe checking out how much fun you can be without getting together -- not necessarily because he doesn't like you, but because a relationship is better if you could have fun as just-friends, too.
I'd say, rather than "playing hard-to-get", just try to stay casual for the moment. Make sure to hang out with other just-friends a lot, try to be the one who invites him to group get-togethers, and only text him as often as you would text a good (but not best) girl-friend.
Then, pay attention to how he reacts. This game is less about being "hard-to-get" and more about seeing if he'll come most of the distance, especially since he already knows you like him.
Joke, flirt, just don't be the one to get serious, and until it does really seem serious, do kind of shy away a bit and laugh it off.
Basically, be a flirty friend until he asks you out. After that, you can take a few minutes looking like you're thinking about it, but don't make him wait too long or he might get away again!
And if he never asks you out, you'll have a great friendship brewing. It'll probably ache something wicked if he starts going out with someone else, but nobody can ever take him away as a friend.
But it really sounds like he's reconsidering, so show him what a diva you are! Who knows, you might get a whole following in the process. ;)
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Qokay so ijust broke up with my boyfriend a couple days ago cause he cheated on me.
so tonight i decide to go out on a date with another guy. Turns out hes really nice and sweet, but im not going to rush into a relationship. But if
i do decide to go for this boy theres a problem hes 15 and im 13 and hes black and im white.
my mom woulldddd flip see i dont care about the whole white black relationship im not rasict and my mom isnt either she just has always said she didnt want me to date black guys idk why so what do i do
AWell, the age difference isn't terribly extreme, but it is enough that when he turns 18, the legality of your relationship will be thrown into question; particularly if sex gets involved.
And you like this boy -- he's nice, sweet, you enjoy his company, maybe he even seems less likely to cheat than your ex. Race doesn't determine anyone's quality as a partner, and if your mom doesn't have some minor racism to her, she'll understand that, particularly if she gets to know him as a person.
However, if she does have some latent racist tendencies, she can easily get him into legal trouble for "taking advantage" of you, particularly with that age difference, so you need to make sure that they meet and get along before you really hook up.
If you really like him, and she's not being receptive, it'll be pretty painful, because you don't want him to get statutory rape charges, and you'll have to wait for any form of physical intimacy in your relationship; it might be safest, in that case, to be affectionate, loving friends right up until you turn 18. Which would be difficult, and which would suck heavily for both of you.
Regardless, I'd encourage you to proceed, however cautiously. Describe his personality and such to her, see how she reacts to that, then allude to the fact that he has certain physical traits that you'll want her to get past.
Once she accepts that responsibility, introduce them and see how it goes. Make sure he presents himself particularly snappy and professional-like, so that the only possible objection she can make is in his color.
Maybe, then, point out that your ex's color didn't stop him from cheating on you, and the current boy's color won't cause him to be a bad partner -- though it won't stop him, either. If he screws up, it doesn't mean every other black boy will.
If she approves, all is good.
If she disapproves, you'll have to decide if you'll be comfortable waiting until you can make your decisions without her approval, or if it would be too hard / painful.
Regardless of your choice, please don't follow in her accidental prejudices: you've seen first-hand how great a black boy can be. Even if live in her home and follow her rules now, you will be able to break that cycle the moment you hit 18.
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Q
Hi Yumiko,
Actually when I brought up the whole "gay scenerio" he was like umm noo.. I would never want to do a guy.. then I bursted out and said u know.. Ive always wanted that..a guy with a guy.. and he said are u serious? I said yah y not.. he got totally grossed out with that answer and then started talking to me differently afterwards. and after I apologized I started to change the subject but he was already annoyed with what I said so whatever I was gonna say afterwards it had no effect to him and made it worse, so he hung up on me and decided to call it quits... my concern is this.. knowing that he finally accepted my appologies but has it in the back of his head, means he still thinks about it.. Im more worried how that is going to effect us in the long-run. He's already distant now.. and wants us to go slow which I think is fcukin rediculous especially when he is soo distant(cities away). Do you suggest that I just leave him alone and wait for him to make the next move or something else?
AIt does sound like he did take it as a request on your part, though I still realize you were both joking around at the time. He thinks that you want that from him, and that things are going to get messy because he can't do that.
Does it bother you that you'd never get to see him with another guy? Would you ask him repeatedly to do it, or feel unfulfilled if he didn't? I don't think that's the case; I think you were misread.
So, the facts are as follows:
* You guys were joking around.
* You brought up a subject that doesn't appeal to him.
* He thought that you would want him to do it.
* He felt pressured and uncomfortable, so he cut you off.
* Now, he seems more distant, but has said you can stay together if you just move slowly.
I think he's being cautious because he's not sure what you might ask him to do, he's not sure what he's getting into.
That, and maybe he's kind of a slow mover, anyway -- I really enjoy dragging the whole thing out, taking my time. Distance doesn't really change someone's natural pace, or fears and insecurities, but in this case, it is *worrying you* now; it sounds like you think he'll just completely move on.
So, I'd suggest that you remind him that you were playing a game, it wasn't necessarily a request, and you like him enough to want to be around him no matter what fantasies he can or can't fulfill for you.
In fact, if you want, let him know that you didn't know what to do and asked a friend about it, then paste this to him:
Hey, I know a game of 20-questions went wrong the other day, and now you're not sure what she wants from you. It sounds like you're being cautious because you don't want to get stuck in a situation where somebody will ask you for things you're not OK with. She's worried now that she made one slip-up and that you're just going to move on. I told her you might just like moving slow, but she's pretty sure that she offended you. Please let that one slide. She maybe got a bit carried away in the game, and revealed one of her fantasies -- she doesn't need you to DO it, force usually ruins the mood -- but she does need acceptance, because it's very personal to her. And she needs to know where things stand, or else she'll worry.
Ask him, really:
Why do you want to go slow? Is it because you like going slow, or is it because I made you uncomfortable?
Do you think I was trying to get you to do something you wouldn't like? I wouldn't do that. I just wanted to tell you something I think about sometimes.
I like you. I like talking to you, I like joking around with you, and I'm afraid that if we're going TOO slow, I won't get those things. Do you want to just back off now, because of what happened? Do you just feel like being careful? Or do you just like going slow?
Then, if you're under 18, look up some good shounen-ai -- "boy love" genre comics, they're not hard-core but they are pretty, and often romantic -- and if you are 18+, look up "yaoi," which is more hardcore boy-on-boy porn.
Let him know that you'll keep fantasizing, but you won't try to force anything on him. Then, go from there -- if things work out, great!
If he disapproves of you, it's probably not a good relationship. If he wants to go slow, and you're not getting what you need because of it, it's probably not a good relationship.
But if you guys can strike a common balance that works for both of you -- you're still getting the fun connection you want, he understands what you want from him and he's ok with that stuff, and you're going at a speed you're both comfortable with, it's all good.
But just ... once you've talked it over, drop the gay thing with him, no matter what. It's not fun for him, and it stresses the relationship. Ask him to drop it, too -- it's not important, it has no bearing on what you want him to do.
If you're still scared about what to say, feel free to show him this conversation; sometimes that makes it easier. :)
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Q
Hey Yumiko,
Is it wrong of me wanting 2 talk to him more get to know him more especially since we both live in different cities. I don't get how we can get to know one another if we stay distant from one another.. I just can't.. Maybe that's his way of letting me down gently.. I dunno...and if its not.. then I dont get it.. Hes confused about me. then deal with it with me. get out all your concerns besides the fact taht he thinks im too clingy and attached.. I don't think I am like that.. I gues I am a little worried since we went from talking till wee in the nite for hours 2 not even talking 5 mins a day.. if that's not strange for you then gawd knows what is.. LOL. I did what I can last nite to open up the walls and get him to understand where I am coming from.. but he just sees the "gay factor" and nothing else.. right now.. that really Pisses me off.. and I don't want to let go of him.. and I know that if we go days without talking..he will forget about me and there is not much I can really do to rectify the situation... :(
AThere's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to talk to him more. It doesn't matter where you live physically: you like the person, so you want to talk to him more. Totally natural, totally human. Even somewhat admirable.
It sounds like he's withdrawn from you a bit now, but he might be more worried about the drama that ensued than he was over the "gay factor" itself.
I am a dramatic lover. I know how difficult it is for my sweethearts to deal with that: how upsetting, time-consuming, energy-draining, and heart-breaking it can be.
So yeah, maybe he is backing off a bit, but maybe less because he disapproves of you, and more because you're so prepared to be disapproved of.
If he disapproves of you for being interested in boy-on-boy love, he's an asshole. Most likely a hypocrite: lesbians are the second most common sexual fantasy among men, after fantasies about dominant women.
So if he's being that way, I can bet he's not worth the worry. The week has given you enough time to feel connected and close, it's given you enough time to not want to lose him, but your health -- being with someone who approves of and accepts you -- is way more important than ANY relationship.
Still, check what he was really upset about. It's still probably a mass miscommunication. Ask him up-front: When we were playing 20-questions, and I said I liked the idea of two men having sex, were you upset? If so, why?
Then ... work from there.
If he says something like "That's just gross," ask if he thinks it's gross that you like the idea, or if it's gross because he wouldn't want to do it.
Ask if he was more upset about you liking that than he was about what happened afterward.
Depending on his answers, maybe you'll still want to be with him. If he decides to be a judgmental bastard, though, I really suggest that you don't bother.
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Q
Hi,
Thanks soo much for your help/advice earlier. I actually had a talk with him last nite via msn... so Im going to paste it here for you to see and judge..
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
do you want to play 20 questions?
brown sugar says:
not really
how was your day
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
it was pretty good.. quite bz.. had all the managers come in from the diff branches for meetings all day
had to attend to them while I was there.. even though I left early.. had to do what I cude
mind if I give you a call now?
brown sugar says:
remember talking about taking it slow
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
ok.. can I ask you something seriously..
ok you want to take things slowly. I agree. but how are we going to get to know one another if we dont stay in contact.. tell me?
brown sugar says:
ok
you are acting really weird
if you were on a date with someone would you stay in contact with that person all the time
if you liked him
i want to know you
but you are acting obsesive
you can't talk this over
ok
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
im here
if you liked them you wud want to talk to them and get 2 know them as much as you can
brown sugar says:
ok, who is your babie
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
and plus we are cities away.. wudnt that make you want to talk more as to if we were close
oh its a line from a movie
see when you are close to someone aka same town you talk less. when you are far away from someone you want to talk to them more
brown sugar says:
remember you said the worst thing inthe world when we were together
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
yes i rem that
brown sugar says:
i still think about it
and the way you were talking this morning
you know what,lets end it
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
i just got a lil upset cause after you said dont worry well talk and then you dissapeared it felt like you didnt wanna know me
brown sugar says:
because you are the opposite lately that i knew and liked
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
no lets not end it
i agree we shud go slow..
brown sugar says:
when did i dissappear
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
i want 2 get to know you the rite way
not wrong way as i had been supposedly been doing lately
brown sugar says:
you are acting weird
u said you don't get attached
and you are
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
Im sorry for acing weird
but we used to talk alot and I miss our talks.. thats all
brown sugar says:
i miss it to but you got to remember, that you said that thing
its hard to forget
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
i do rem
brown sugar says:
im sorry, im trying to forget, but its hard
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
It’s not a big deal. It was just a question. You asked me that as well.
brown sugar says:
you upset me
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
I sorry for that, but you talked about it too.
and I want to make things works btw us..
so im gonn back off
brown sugar says:
i want to get to know you, but we have to take things slow
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
deal
brown sugar says:
i want to actually meet you
and see
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
i know me too.. and that will happen soon
brown sugar says:
and hang out with you
but it is up to you
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
ok
im backing off
if you need to contact me you can.. il always be here.. I just wont piss you off with calls and txt msgs etc..
brown sugar says:
why are you acting like this
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
what do you mean?
you said i was being weird and obsessive. so im not goint do that
:D
brown sugar says:
please don't do that
because its not appealing to anyone, unless they are desparent
im not
i want to get to know the person
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
so tell me.. what do you want me to do..
brown sugar says:
and you are saying the wrong things all the time for last past three days
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
brb i think im gonna throw up
hold on pls
brown sugar says:
why are you throwing up
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
k i back
brown sugar says:
another turn off
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
i ate something today
that didnt settle well in me tummy
now I feel sick
brown sugar says:
im sorry
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
sorry for what sweetie?
its not your faults its the food
brown sugar says:
for being sick
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
ohh ya.. no worries.. i'll be btr in a few days
no more chicken sandwich at mcdonalds.
brown sugar says:
listen, we have to get together, before our relationship grows
and if want this relationship to work, you have come here
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
y before?
brown sugar says:
because i am so confused about you
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
and with time.. sweetie.. you gotta know all you can about me first then we decide if I should come
neways... wat are your plans for tonite?
brown sugar says:
i am heading out
i have hockey
at 10
brown sugar says:
anyways i have to get ready
ttyl
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
okie... talk to u tomm?
cheers
AIt's kind of hard to judge. It seems like you both really want to get close, but you're cautious -- been hurt before? -- and there's a lot of (unintentional?) disapproval going back and forth.
You both want to do what's necessary to see if things will work, and to do what needs to be done, but I think you're accidentally hurting eachother a bit now.
And you have to understand, I can't give him advice. I haven't heard his side of the story, and I've only got you here to talk to, so it might not seem like I'm taking your side. I just want to give you things to work with.
Just be gentle, ok? And be honest. Tell him what you were worried about. Let him know what's going on for you. You don't have to feel ashamed of how you feel in any situation -- you have a particular speed you want in the relationship, you want a certain amount of acceptance and approval, you want a certain amount of emotional connection.
That's not bad, but neither are his feelings, and if they clash without good teamwork, that can lead to a bad situation. It'll never mean one of you is wrong or bad, it'll just be a big old mess.
So I'm going to stress repeatedly -- all over this site, to everyone, all the time, in almost all of my posts -- the most important thing is cooperation, teamwork, being compassionate and helping eachother.
It doesn't matter who is or isn't being silly. Unreasonable. Stupid. Immature.
What matters is how you can work together, and I know you can, because you came to a forum looking specifically to work with uninvolved third-parties to find a solution, because they wouldn't be upset about it.
You can work together.
You can fix anything.
It's just that you need to do it with him, and in order to do that, you need to open up in a certain way, and continue to give him the benefit of the doubt, even if he has a hard time for a while.
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Qis it bad to go out with your ex boyfriends friend? if your still good friends with your ex? thanks
AIt might be.
But then, that really depends on the people involved: The ex, the friend, and, well, "you."
Is anyone going to be unhappy or uncomfortable with it? Is it going to harm any of the friendships? Is the romance more important than the friendships, or vice-versa?
Has it been discussed between the people involved?
Basically, with a genuine blessing from the ex, there's no concern. Without, there's a question as to whether he would feel resentment towards "you" or towards his friend.
So. It might not be bad. It might not be good.
Relationships are not self-validating: they aren't good just because they follow a specific pattern. Love doesn't triumph over evil: the lovers have to do that.
It's the same in all these cases.
Who can you cooperate with? Who's that important to you? That's the starting point for answering your question, and the solution will go from there.
It's all down to acting with consideration.
And it will be an ongoing effort.
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Qlet's see i'm trying to make my hair emo style but i'm trying to figure how do you make your hair so straight? i used to comb my hair up all the time and make it spikey and i've been doing that almost forever but now i wanna try somthing new. i combed my hair down and it barely covers half of my forehead but it doesnt go straight all the way. the ends of the strands of my hair always curve to one direction and it doesnt stay straight down and look triangular shape-like. will it help to keep my hair combed down for a long time or is there a way to make it really straight? i'm a guy by the way and i don't wanna end up using a hair straightener unless there's a certain one for guys. i'm thinking of going to a place like Super Cuts and ask them to do it for me and if i do someday how much will a hair cut like that cost? and does anyone know a site with pictures of emo hairstyles? i want the kind where your hair is combed straight down and part of it covers one of your eyes. i've never really been to a barber before cause my mom usually gives me my hair cuts and i cant ask her for an emo one cause she doesnt like how my hair is combed down. and i know its ok to not care what other people think of you but what if its your parents? im getting tired of my mom saying that i look so ugly with my haired combed down. to me i dont look so bad and no one at school says anything about it. probably i'll look a little better once my acne disappears completely but still i want my mom to stop saying im ugly.
AMoms have a hard time with these things. I did a lot worse: complete lack of upkeep. I let myself get all greasy and put headphones over it. I was The Grudge long before it came out.
So maybe your mom just hasn't seen good examples of well-groomed, snappy emo kids with hair combed over one eye. Maybe she considers it purely unprofessional. Regardless, I'm sure there's an angle you could use to make her feel better.
Remind her that you still have time to try out styles for the fun of it, that you can adapt whenever you deem necessary, that you like the style and that you want to do it right. Point out that it maybe doesn't look right because you haven't had the chance to do it right.
Tell her that you want her direct mother-power hair guidance -- most women pray for daughters largely for that opportunity!
Past that point ... you *are* going to need a hair straightener. You are. Unless you want to play with a clothes-iron, which might not work the way you want, is much more cumbersome (imagine pressing your face against an ironing board), and much less exact. It doesn't have to be yours -- have your mom buy one and never tell anyone you used it. Or get one and decorate the handle.
If you're going to be part of a subculture that largely drops stereotypes, you might as well stop worrying about gender-marketing. The difference is all in the color of the packaging: they're taking you for a fool. Do not let them. You are not conformist.
Then, you'll need the right hair-straightening products. Look around for them; I think mousse is a good idea, as well as some sprays. Certain types of shampoo and conditioner will help, but won't avoid frizz, so other products are still important.
And if you're worried about your acne, there are plenty of skin products that will work for you, however they're gender-marketed. Make sure to clean your face once in the morning and once at night, and then moisturize with a face-lotion.
Don't ever leave something on your face over night while you sleep. Don't wash or moisturize on it's own -- washing will dry your skin out and make your skin overdo the natural oils, whereas moisturizing on it's own will layer lotion over natural oils, reaching the same effect. Clogged pores. Acne.
Drink water. Watch your diet.
But mostly, make sure your mom knows that you're trying to present yourself in a specific way because *you* like the look of it. You want her approval, but you can't just change what you like, so you want help achieving the look correctly -- not being left to half-ass it. And then let her know that you do take her concerns seriously, but you're young, and you have limited time to have fun with your appearance without worrying about the Office Dress Code, etc.
Hopefully, being reminded that you don't have so many appearance restraints as an independent adult, that you are making some effort at your appearance, and having her Wisdom at Fashion Sense invoked will help her feel more at ease.
If not, you'll have to find somewhere to hide your brand new hair-straightener.
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Q
let me start from the beginning.. Okay here goes.. Ive been talking to this guy for almost a week now.. Met him online on a wedding portal site. Neways we talked for 3-4 days.. and things went well. talked wee into the nite.. for hours.. at a time, then.. we played a game called 20 questions.. then suddenly we got to the topic of gays.. and I had mentioned that it would be awesome seeing a gay guy with another gay guy.. that just totally turned himoff.. and he got disguste3d by that and hung up on me.. and sent a txt msg saying Idont want 2 continue this. i Havent spoken to him until day before yesterday and he told me dont worry about it.. I was wrong to be upset over this.. and I apologized as well. then I didnt hear anything from him yesterday no call no nothing. so I grilled him today on it.. saying I don't understand whats going on.. nor can I read your mind.. since your into be honest with me y cant you be str8 up with me and tell me.. I dont want to say anything that will make the situation worse.. aparently it did and he said you are actng weird.. ur not the same girl that I have grown to like alot. Then I said I am the same person.. and then I told a lie and said that I was having issues at home thats y I was all bent out of shape like that at you. He said you shouldn't take it out on the person ur getting to know etc..and I said your rite Im sorry.. He said you need to really slow down. I said and how do I do that? he said we'll see.. talk to you later.. and then he said he had to go to a meeting.. that was earlier today.. what do you suggest I do or not do? any comments/advice.. Ineed help im crazy about him and don't want to lose him..
ASounds like things have gotten really bent out of shape over a small miscommunication.
The situation:
* You guys were joking around.
* You brought up a subject that may not appeal to him.
* He reacted badly?
* The connection got dropped.
* You assumed that he hung up / broke the connection because of it.
I think you felt disapproved of, maybe attacked, and decided that he was making unrealistic demands about what kind of girl you "should" be: EG, not into kinky, kinky things like yaoi, (boy-on-boy sex, which is highly marketed, acceptable media for women in Japan.)
You thought he was being unaccepting.
You thought you were getting into a situation where you would either have to deal with disapproval. Therefore, you were maybe a bit defensive and hasty.
It's possible that he was being unreasonable and homophobic in his response, but that's not necessarily the case -- maybe he thought you were indirectly asking for him to do something he would be uncomfortable doing.
But that's beside the point.
He needs to understand why you were upset in the first place, and you need to know why he reacted the way that he did. If he did, in fact, break the connection due to disapproving of you, maybe he isn't the right guy. But if not, he just got accused of a lot of things that never crossed his mind -- and he might want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but he might not.
In that case, I'd tell him that I felt a bit insecure, that I expected him to disapprove, and I took the situation as a disapproval -- and afterwards, I was embarrassed at my reaction, so I said it was family issues. It wasn't; it did have to do with him and me, but I didn't want him to know that I was so defensive and fragile on that point, so I tried to smooth it over. I'm ready to set that aside and start over if he is.
If it helps, feel free to pass this on to him. If not, good luck regardless; we all have these situations come up at some point, and hopefully we end up dealing with someone who'll understand and work with us.
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Q
Okay so my one friend keeps telling me that my other friends ( who doesn'treally get along with me anyway ) is calling me a whore behind my back. My one friend is standing up for me but she says that my other friend is saying that im a whore because my boyfriend of 7 months and i make out during movies - i understand yeah maybe she doesn't want to see it but the thing is his dad hates me and we can NEVER see each other and thats pretty much the only time i can do that with him its getting really hard ! i just want to know if i really am a whore for this or is she just being lsfijsdlf ?
ADictionary.com says
"1. a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet."
Do you have sex with a lot of people?
Do you have sex for money?
"�verb (used without object)
2. to act as a whore.
3. to consort with whores."
Do you engage in the act of selling your own body, or that of others? (EG, "I'm going to whore my friend out")
"�verb (used with object)
4. Obsolete. to make a whore of; corrupt; debauch."
Are you regularly into making a mockery of some art form, lifestyle, or other interest that would most likely effect her? ("She's totally whoring up the goth subculture." etc)
Smells like envy.
But it also counts as defamation, considering that she's spreading untruths about you in order to injure your reputation.
Whatever her reasons, referring to you in this way is unnecessary and uncouth on her part, and I would suggest telling her so.
Tell her
A. You are using the word "whore" to spread untruths about me, which is defamation, a form of illegal harassment.
B. You can tell everybody that you don't like me, but you need to stop defaming me.
C. If you don't, I'm going to destroy your high school career using the proper authorities.
If she continues, take point C to your parents and school authorities. Explain that you have a boyfriend you are highly affectionate with, but that you are not promiscuous or engaging in prostitution, so you shouldn't have to deal with such public defamation.
Tell them that this is effecting your social life, your high-school career, and your personal confidence, and if they can't deal with it, you want a lawyer.
These big words will usually get adults to take your plight seriously and respond with the necessary actions.
Best of luck. :)
[edit] Actually, having thought about it and remembering certain instances of my own, it's perfectly possible that the situation is getting blown out of proportion, or that someone else is trying to stir shit, or that someone was misunderstood, etc ...
So, in the case that this girl is spreading nasty things about you, the above answer still stands. Before you can know that, though, you need to ask around:
1. What does she say?
2. When does she say it?
Hell, she might be joking around.
The important thing is to figure out whether she's being a threat to you, and if so, defend yourself. If not, let everyone know that something got blown out of proportion, and that things work better if that doesn't happen.
And really, really, most importantly, above all else, and absolutely paramount:
do not let the idea of someone bad-mouthing you effect your self-esteem, confidence, or definition of yourself.
If they're wrong, they're wrong. Dead wrong.
You know yourself as well as anyone, you don't have to put up with crappy treatment, and you don't have to take part in hurting yourself.
No, you're not a whore.
Now, remind yourself, and find out who's worth proving that to. :)
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QAlright, well, I'm going dancing with a couple of people this weekend and I need to figure out what to wear. It's not going to be a like, club club place but it's basically like that.
Now I don't really dress like whatever you want to call normal, I guess. I wear whatever I want to wear, but if you want to call it something, I dress sort of punky/artsy along those lines. Just a mixture of that. I basically don't wear the attire that people normally do whenever they go out to clubs. I asked one of my friends if a purple tube top and some black skinny jeans would look good [ I think it would ] and they said I'd probably be the only person there wearing jeans, every other girl's going to be wearing skirts and whatnot.
Does anybody have any ideas on some cute outfits I could possibly try and throw together? I have a jean skirt and tank tops and such, but I'm not too big on sandals and not high heels. I'm more of a flats kind of girl.
AYour style sounds absolutely fine -- so what if you're the only one wearing X or Y? -- but there are practical reasons for people wearing what they do in a club atmosphere.
Full trousers, of any type, are likely to overheat you, so a skirt is a good idea. Same with long sleeves and socks -- cover yourself mainly based on the prospect of a warm atmosphere, legal boundaries, and just as importantly, your own comfort level.
Heels are entirely unnecessary, but you might want dressy flats. Big, heavy shoes are likely to be both unflattering, and again -- survey says? -- too warm.
Then, style is all up to you: Jean skirt? Check. Tank top? Check. Accessories? Check. Just be you, tweaked to fit the warm, party atmosphere, and good will prevail in the universe! :D
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Qso theres this guy, lets call him "k"
so k and i have been bffs since elementry/middle school. then we went to diff highschools, hes in brooklyn and i go to school uptown, but last year we kept intouch alot. so we were like "fwb's" last year, but then i decided i wanted more, and he decided he didnt, and we kinda lost touch.
so last night he IMs me out of NO where like "OMG ITS BEEN SO LONG I MISS U" and so we were talking and then hes liek "yo for memorial day weekend my parents are going out of town, u should come over...mad beer"
and i was like "YAY PARTY" and he was like "oh uh actually, i was thinking just me and u..."
and i dont know if i should go or not, cause i dont kno if i really want to hook up with him (obv waht he wants) and im like too fat right now and i dont want him to seeme! ugh please help me!
i dont want him to think its like ok for him to just contact me when he wants ass! but i also do want to hook up with him!
ADeciding whether you're interested in fooling around with him is entirely up to you, and you should let him know what kind of interaction or relationship you're interested in before accepting the invitation. Make sure he knows where things stand regardless of alcohol consumption, and most importantly, arm yourself with the capability to enforce those standards.
In particular, I'd be concerned about safety: he may be the most trustworthy, considerate boy in the world, but with privacy, lust, expectation, and most of all, alcohol consumption, it's easy for things to go wrong.
If you do choose to hook up, make sure to let a few friends know where you'll be. Bring a cell-phone, and give those people the number as well as the address you'll be at. Make sure at least one has access to a vehicle and willingness to come get you at the drop of a hat. Keep tabs on your own alcohol consumption, and even if you trust him with your life, finish each drink before leaving it, or just abandon it all-together.
Finally, if you think sex might happen, bring your own protection. I highly recommend female condoms for a number of reasons: they're 95% effective when used correctly, you have full control of it and it has very little effect on the guy's enjoyment, the outer ring rubs against the clitoris which can actually increase your pleasure, and it's made of polyurethane so it doesn't set off latex allergies. ( Check it out: http://www.avert.org/femcond.htm )
Now, the main dilemma is deciding where your own boundaries lie and seeing how that works for him. Once you've talked it over with him, you can make a much more personal decision about it, but I really encourage you to set your boundaries and make sure they'll be respected.
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QSo my boyfriend always puts his arm around my waist.. and i dont know what to do with my hands/arms. I know something like this has already been answered.. but im sorry i would like to know so i dont feel like an idiot. Is there a certain way i should put my hands/arms??? thanks a million!!
AThat probably depends heavily on your height differences.
I just tested it out on my own sweetheart, who's about a head taller than me, and it happens that I can comfortably rest my arm over his shoulder or around his waist, under his arm.
You should test it out; a happy boy with a lovely girl usually doesn't mind having arms draped experimentally over them. :D
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Qim 16 years old and 8 months pregnant..my boyfriend ..which is the father and is 19..wont have anything to do with me..he wont even touch me anymore yea he comes over every now and then but he doesnt stay long..it breaks my heart because i love him so much..he says he loves me but it definately doesnt feel like it..what can i do?
AHey, I'm sorry to hear about your boy running out on you. It must hurt on two levels: you love him and want to be with him, and you really need him as the father of your child.
I'm still gonna have to tell you to buck up and be strong, tho -- not because I think your problems are unimportant, but because you are the only one now who has the opportunity to face this.
Since you're the one going through the pregnancy, I suggest you pamper yourself; get closer with your girl-friends and female elders. Spend a lot of time on yourself: bathing, primping, eating regular meals of your FAVOURITE foods, watching your own favourite movies.
Masturbate. A lot. Nothing is better than knowing how to please yourself.
Focus on what an amazing, beautiful, talented girl you are, and aim towards what kind of woman (and mother?) you want to become. After the mourning phase passes, you'll realise what your boy has given up, and you'll pity him; once you've spent this time on YOU, you'll be able to express yourself to a man much more worthy of your affections.
However you choose to handle the pregnancy -- at this stage, keeping the child or adopting it out -- you can be proud of your decision as a parent and a complete human being. Then you can say you worked through it yourself, with a bit of help from your friends.
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