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im sorry its really long, but im really lost/confused. 15/f
ok well i liked or at least i think i still like him im not even sure anymore, but lets just say that i still do like him. well he found out that i liked him so he invited me to his house on memorial day weekend and we hung out in his basement and watched a movie and we hooked up. and it was my first time and i was really happy. and we dont go to the same school anymore cos i moved two years ago, but we stayed friends. and so the night before school started that weekend at like 11pm i texted him and i said"i loved being with you on friday night! i miss you already!" and he texted me back, and was like "me too, what are you doing next weekend" which kinda made me upset cos like i guess i was expecting for him to message me with something else. ok so then last weekend i wanted him to come over, but he asked if he could sleep over cos his mom wouldnt want to pick him up so late since we live a halfhour apart. and so i asked my mom and she said yes. but then the night he was supposed to come over i really didnt feel right about him sleeping over so i told him that i had to study for my finals and he kinda got mad. but then yesterday neither of us had school so he invited me to his house. and i went and i nkow that he isnt a virgin and i am. and i knew that i wasnt ready to make it to that point yet cos hes the only one who ive ever hooked up with you know and i dont love him. and we were making out on his couch(no one was home) and we were lying down. and we were making out and i felt him touch my belt and i waited to see if he would try to undo it and i felt him try to or at least i thought i did and i said no. and he took his hand off and he said he was sorry and we kept making out. and he kept trying to put his hand up my shirt, and i kept moving his hand away. but then he finally did. and i dont rember if i made him stop o he just did on his own. but then he kept moving my hand toward his penis and he put my hand over his penis(his pants were still on) and he just to make me like massage it if you will. and i moved my hand again. and then i fell asleep and i dont know if he knew if i were asleep or not and i woke up and we were holding hadn and he start moving my hand down his boxers slowly and before he got the chance to move my hand all the way down i just pulled my hand totally away, and like i heard him kinda like "huff+puff" like he was fustrated. and then he had his hand like under my belly button like sotof going down my pants, and he was just rubbing me. but i was really afraid he was gonna stick his hand down there so i moved his hand about 6 inches up. and i was really upset cos i wasnt ready to have sex or anything or go to the next level, and i think he was mad cos i wouldnt. and then my friend who lives in boston text mesaged him last ngiht and was like why did you take advantage of jessi? and he was like well after three hours of making out i got bored. and that made me really upset. and the kid i like messaged my friend john back and was likew ell why dont you just hookup with ehr and john said well if i were to hookup with her itd be because i actually care about her and not for my own benefit. and harrsion messaged him back and said well im sorry that i dont become soul mates with someone the second i see them. wich made me even more mad. cos hes known me for four years and john has only known me for two. and john cares a lot more about me than harrsion does. and me and john are just really good friends and i thought harrison actually liked me. well i wrote this letter to harrsion, so can you tell me if i should give it to him and also some advice on what i should do about him .. like im proud of myself for not letting him take advantage of me but idn, everything still just feels wrong
you really hurt me on thursday. i know how far you have gone, and thats great. but im just not ready for anything like that, and im sorry but thats just how i feel. and obviousily you dont care about me, cos if you didnt you wouldnt have said "well after three hours of making out i got bored" to john. i really thought that you liked me for me, but i guess i was wrong. i was so happy to just be with you, but i guess we're both looking for two totally different things. i'm looking for someone who i really want to be with for a long time and who ill be able to remember for basically the rest of my life. i know that that sounds corny, but this is something that i've wanted for a really long time, and i thought that i could have that with you. but i guess you're just looking for someone who you can "get busy" with. and thats great for you. but that just isnt something i want out of some one, so i guess we're just not meant to be together. and im really upset with the way you treated me. how many times did i need to pull my hand away before you realized that i wasnt going to give you a hand job and for you to realize that i didnt want you putting your hand down my pants. i was just so afriad that it was going to lead into something that i was going to regret. i wasnt about to loose my virgintiy to you right then and there. because i know for a fact that you arent in love you me. and i know that im not in love with you. and i know that you have had sex before, and obviousily you werent in love with them, because if you did, you would probably still be with them. well, i hope you understand how i do feel, because i was able to tell that you were getting frustrated with me cos i wouldnt go as far as you would have liked to go. but i think we should just be friends because i really just dont want to be with you because im just not ready for what you obviousily are ready for.
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Don't take that...
the 1st time my current boyfriend and I got that far, well we were making out and he put his hand on my chest and i kinda jumped and instinctively put my hand up, because i wasnt expecting it, and he totally backed off. though i was fine with it. then later he called me after he left and felt really bad, and he said he was worried that i was uncomfortable, and if i was, he wouldn't do anything like that again.
that's the thing that guy should've done.
the 1st time you pushed him away he should've totally backed off.
and he must take sex lightly if he'd do it when he's bored.
sex is something you do when you really love that person. obviously he doesn't love or respect you. so you shouldn't even give him the time of day. =]
good luck. hope it helped.
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I totally understand your response to this situation; I tend to react the same way. I've gotten into a lot of sticky situations because, first off, I like to spend a lot of time just gaining a close relationship with someone without that depth of physical intimacy, and because I also have a hard time saying
I want to do THIS.
I do not want to do THAT.
If you can continue doing what I'm ok with, that's great. If not, let's do something completely different -- like watch a movie or play video games. If you keep doing that, I'll stop hanging out with you.
You're touching my crotch. Stop please.
You are touching my crotch again. Stop.
STOP TOUCHING ME.
STOP IT NOW.
... Basically, you did just fine -- but it'll be easier if you let them know beforehand that "I want to make out, but I don't want it to get too heavy. Let's save that for another time, ok?"
One other thing to consider is maybe he's not really using you; a lot of people, guys and girls, think / feel that they need to gain physical intimacy first, in order to get to know someone.
This is not my style, and it's never something to force yourself into if you're not that type, but it's good to know where he stands.
Ask him if he can still get to know you, and get close, without that physical contact; if he can't, maybe he's really not the guy for you.
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okay. well to start off you should be proud of yourself for not letting him take advantage of you. that is a veryyy hard thing for a girl to do, especially when they like the guy and want the guy to like them, even though "getting with them" doesnt get them to like them. but what to do with this boy and leave him, not like technically like stay his friend but if you go to hang out with him dont hook up, if he trys to make a move just be like no, were friends because if you hang out alot more and hook up everytime you will become something people like to call a "booty call" when guys arent getting anything at all, they have that girl they know will. personally if i were you i would go with john, he stood up for you to this kid. As for the letter, theres 2 things that you could do. one being give it to him but one thing you might want to take out is that you know what he said about you, just to avoid him getting mad at the kid that showed you. and i would also make sure that he reads it. otherwise you could either call him or tell him in person how you feel just so you know that he heard you and you said it for yourself, becuase sending the note he could easily rip it up and throw it away never to look at it.
hope this helped =]
if you need any more help you can ask my on my site or IM me. my IM is on the page =]
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I say you should be very proud of yourself. Give it to him. If you don't want to do something, don't let someone push you into it. You know you are not redy that's good. Forget about him you will met someone who would like you for you not to go into your pant. I will say you make a good chose. Good Luck
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