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new guy
okay so ijust broke up with my boyfriend a couple days ago cause he cheated on me.
so tonight i decide to go out on a date with another guy. Turns out hes really nice and sweet, but im not going to rush into a relationship. But if
i do decide to go for this boy theres a problem hes 15 and im 13 and hes black and im white.
my mom woulldddd flip see i dont care about the whole white black relationship im not rasict and my mom isnt either she just has always said she didnt want me to date black guys idk why so what do i do
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Here is what you do. You date him and don't give in when your mom says you can't. When its something that unreasonable, then you just shouldnt listen to your parents. Parents think that they ALWAYS know whats best for their kids, but they really don't. And this is an example of that
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its been what maybe Å week since you broke up with your boyfriend? i think you are rushing into things. he cheated on you. i think you might need Å little bit of time to just recover, you know accept this new change. get to know yourself. get over any feelings about your old boyfriend. then, you can call this boy back. talk to your mom. if shes not racist why cant you date him? figuire out why she wont let.
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Well, the age difference isn't terribly extreme, but it is enough that when he turns 18, the legality of your relationship will be thrown into question; particularly if sex gets involved.
And you like this boy -- he's nice, sweet, you enjoy his company, maybe he even seems less likely to cheat than your ex. Race doesn't determine anyone's quality as a partner, and if your mom doesn't have some minor racism to her, she'll understand that, particularly if she gets to know him as a person.
However, if she does have some latent racist tendencies, she can easily get him into legal trouble for "taking advantage" of you, particularly with that age difference, so you need to make sure that they meet and get along before you really hook up.
If you really like him, and she's not being receptive, it'll be pretty painful, because you don't want him to get statutory rape charges, and you'll have to wait for any form of physical intimacy in your relationship; it might be safest, in that case, to be affectionate, loving friends right up until you turn 18. Which would be difficult, and which would suck heavily for both of you.
Regardless, I'd encourage you to proceed, however cautiously. Describe his personality and such to her, see how she reacts to that, then allude to the fact that he has certain physical traits that you'll want her to get past.
Once she accepts that responsibility, introduce them and see how it goes. Make sure he presents himself particularly snappy and professional-like, so that the only possible objection she can make is in his color.
Maybe, then, point out that your ex's color didn't stop him from cheating on you, and the current boy's color won't cause him to be a bad partner -- though it won't stop him, either. If he screws up, it doesn't mean every other black boy will.
If she approves, all is good.
If she disapproves, you'll have to decide if you'll be comfortable waiting until you can make your decisions without her approval, or if it would be too hard / painful.
Regardless of your choice, please don't follow in her accidental prejudices: you've seen first-hand how great a black boy can be. Even if live in her home and follow her rules now, you will be able to break that cycle the moment you hit 18.
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If things work out and you two really like eachother than you should date. Your mom must understand if you really like him.
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Since your mom doesnt want you to date black guys and the age difference is kind of not the same, your intuition is telling you that its probably not going to work out. Why not follow it? My mom said that too its not good to date black guys, whats funny is this one guy asked me out (im white) and I just said no. I'm just doing what my mom told me to do, and plus the guy was totally ugly. So if you really like this new guy, then talk to your mom about it before you commit a relationship. It wont cause anymore problems if you just tell her about it.
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The age gap isn't that big, its reasonable. but i could see how that could be a problem for your mom. The skin color however should not matter at all. and should not be considered a problem. all that really matters is if the guy is really a good guy. his manners, his personality, his morals, and that kind of stuff. You're right to not rush into a relationship, just take things slow and see where it goes. and if you end up liking him, have him meet your mom. but before that, talk with her and let her know.
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your only 13, so dont rush into it; enjoy being single and dating for a while, and i dont mind this to sound bad but i think your mum is a rascist.
its only 2 years age gap, and a different skin colour. take it slowly; and be careful who you place your trust in!
charming ashlie
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