Hello There;
This is a colunm for anyone with questions on relationship problems, question about their sexuality, questions about their spirituality, advice on talking to parents, and about whether they should, being made homeless by parents, unexpected pregnancies, depression and suicidal thoughts.
I have been, or have had someone very close to me in each of those situations, and can answer questions, provide useful information, and just be there, as a virtual shoulder to cry on!!
Ask away!!
Charming Ashlie xx
E-mail: browneyedwiccan@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Bath, Uk
Occupation: Unemployed
Age: 20
MSN: browneyedwiccan@hotmail.com
Member Since: May 23, 2007
Answers: 50
Last Update: June 3, 2007
Visitors: 4329
Main Categories:
Love Life
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ok, let's say there's a girl at your school, and *everyone* knows that her boyfriend is cheating on her, but she doesn't seem to realize it. do you feel sorry for her, or do you just think she's stupid for not seeing it? and then... when she does find out, she forgives her bf and gives him a 2nd chance. do you think she's a nice, forgiving person who loves her bf, or do you think she's a complete idiot for letting him play her like that? just wondering, becuz that girl is me and i wonder what people might be saying/thinking about me!
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i dont think you should have given him the chance; you now have an issue about what others think of you!! which you seem more bothered about than his betrayal.
dump him.
or make him pay...
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this is crazy i knw..... i met this guy who considered me one of his best friends. we hung out all the time and did everything couples do together with out the kissing/makingout/sex part. we held hands hugged at one point walked with his shoulder around me and stuff.......
i thought he was gay so i never really considered that there would be anything there...
later though about 7 or 8 months after we met and right be4 we went our separate since he graduated (he's 22 i am 20).... i told him the truth about how in that past month i was a bit infatuated by him..... very very to say the least...... at somepoint i had doubts about him being bi... because his signs of flirting are always direct with both men and women.... and i figured since we're always together and he hasnt sed anything then maybe he was just gay.... anyway .... wen i told him i told him rite after that i hope this dsnt change or alter our friendship he said he was completly fine with and we even went out that night...
a month later:
i still like him a bit since he was honestly the funnest guy i'd been with.... plus he always makes me feel assured about myself....... but its summer and i am abroad and i met this other guy very very formally... and there may be sparks in the middle... i am still not sure i'm going to have to get to knw him.....he's cute and all but the problem is that i still keep thinking about the other guy since i feel its not over yet and since he has been IMing me constantly asking about this new guy.... he sounds pissed and he always says he'd "save " me and misses me and that he wants to elope with me and things..... i miss him too but i don't know what he's trying to get to....
i never asked hiim about his sexuality and i think its stupid to do so now.... what do i do?!
i just need ppls opinions on this situation... (link)
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ignore the sexuality thing; does he like you? just ask him that!!
charming girl
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okay so i have this best friend. hes a guy, and were like REALLY tight. i have a weird feeling that he likes me. once, he called me 13 times because he was "bored". we were online and hes like "im bored, im gonna call u" and i said "no im doing hw" but he called anyway and left all these funny messages. then, i texted him at like 2 am cause i was bored, and he says "whats up?" and i said "bored, im under-the-covers texting!' and he said 'ooooooh. sounds seexy." i laughed about it, but it was just really sudden to me. he even asked me to come to his house and swim, but i wasnt free. but does he like me?? (link)
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i think the overwhelming answer is that he does like you; your friends dont say you under the covers sounds "sexy" do they? i think he does like you. try hanging out in person more, and the answer will become more obvious to you!
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okay well really what i'm trying to say is that i still like my ex boyfriend alot and i heard he still "kinda" likes me. and i want to "get him jealous" if thats what you want to call it. really what i'm asking is how can i make myself look like "breath taking" if you will. or " eye catching".
i'll give you the low down. i'm a 13 year old girl. im about 5'3ish with short brown hair. its about sholder length. brown eyes, and i'm pretty skinny, about average. how should i do my hair, what color make up annd what not? i can pretty much do anything with my hair. i usually straighten it. sometimes i scrunch it. and what color eye shadow if any? what kind of shirt? low cut, full tshirt? quarter sleeved/low cut? i have mostly cloths from hollister and some from abrecrombie and american eagle, so. i just really want to catch his attention and make him pretty much jealous of anyone siiting near me if thats possible. sorry this is so long. tahnks in advnace! (link)
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dress how you want to dress; what makes you feel good about yourself? what style clothes get you noticed? you dont have to wear make up- use mascara and black eyeliner alone, and it makes you look like you on a good day!
completely ignore him; flirt with guys around you, laugh loudly, be friendly with everyone, including the girls; then wait for him to come to you.
dont go to him, or acknowledge him!! make him chase you!
charming ashlie
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okay well i have this friend who had been my best friend fot the past 3 years now. 6 months ago she found herself a boyfriend who she has liked since 6th grade(3 years ago)in the beginning he was the better of her ex boyfriends but now he is a total jerk. all he wants to do is makeout and go to 2nd wherever they are. when she isn't around or not paying attention he makes these really annoying/hurtful comments either to me and my friends or to someone about someone else and i hate it. all of my friends and my best friends friends hate him and know where i am coming from. Jess(my bf) really likes him. i dont know if she likes HIM or the IDEA of having a boyfriend. we have been fighting so much with any little thing i say about him. when he is with her she forgets that my friends and i are there. her boyfriend bobby will randomly walk up to her while her and i are having a conversation and start making out with her. i have come to hate him and i cant stand to be around him. i have told jess all of this a ton of times but she claims she loves him. and her and i never get alone time. i just dont know what i should do because she likes him and knows i hate him and still no progress with anything is being made.(ex. trying to not forget im there) what should i do? ps sorry this is so long
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stop hanging out with her; six months down the line when shes lonely, whether they have split up or not; she will come running back.concentrate on the friends that are there for you.
charmingashlie
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hey ok well i have this workout DVD call "Walk Away the Pounds" with Leslie Sansone. Has anyone ever used it? does it show good results? does it take a long time? thnx =] (link)
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i havent used that dvd, but i do know that walking does help you; it might take a couple of weeks before you see a huge difference, but it will slim your stomach and tone your thighs, and make you feel healthier; so what could be wrong with that?
good luck
charming ashlie
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OKAY. well I like REALLY so badly want a trampoline and its like not even funnyy like i am obssesed over it SOO much but my parents never listen. I am only 13 and they say i cant get one because its dangerous..
i keep trying to convince them but i am running out of options.. I KNOWW I KNOWW its dangerous but still i know how to be careful :-)
alsoo... they think i will enjoy for a week and then forget about it like i did with my old tether-ball i had.. BUT i didnt even want the tether ball they just got it for my brithday. AND my cousin broke it. but this is totally different and they dont understand that i will be on it everyday.. they dont trust me.
SO I NEED ADVICE.. DOES ANYONE KNOW ANY OTHER WAY THAT I CAN CONCVINCE THEM? OR LET THEM TRUST ME ? I TYRED TALKING TO THEM 34958439075 TIMES BUT IT DOESNT WORK SOO HELPPPP (link)
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maybe they cant afford it? parents sometimes try and talk you out of things rather than admit they can afford something. so try and be reasonable. maybe leave it for a couple of weeks, then try and talk to them again; to prove its not a fly by night thing; that you still want it after a couple of weeks.
maybe try telling them the safety rules; all the ways you know how to be safe? and ask they buy a net for it too; that way you will be safe!!
good luck
charming ashlie
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Okay im 15 years old about 5'4 and weigh i think around 77 kilos. Personally i dont think my face is that ugly i mean its not wonderfull but im satisfied with it, its just the rest of my body. Since about year 9 i noticed all the bad things about my body. Like how i have this tan line half way up my arms so i dont like showing them and that they are quite flabby. Same with my legs and tummy. Around the end of last year i started getting stretch marks and i absolutely hate them. Not alot of people realise how hard it is to lose weight. I mean i have always been a little chubby but now i feel so ugly and i just want to be able to be confident in myself. I go to the gym as a school thing every thursday for like an hour and try to do sit ups and playin soccer with my little bro outside every day but theres only so much i can do. I'd love to take my dog for walks or go for a jog everyday but my dog gets scared easily and most days we walk for 5 mins then she wants to walk back. Im to ashamed to go out for runs by myself. I eat healthy home cooked meals and drink mostly water. I dont over eat and dont under eat. i think everyone should be proud of how they look but i dont feel that way about myself. At home in my bedroom i can wear my clothes and feel beautiful how i am but when i go outside my door i feel out of place and so hideous. I wanted to apply for a gym membership but im a year too young, and i dont know any adults who would go with me. Its hard because my sister and brother are both skinny and goodlooking and can eat everything they want without gaining weight, unfortunatley i was given the slow metabolism. i need like ways or tips on losing weight or ways to help stay on diets and exercise schedules. If i had someone to do this with, it would be easier, but its just me and i feel so alone sometimes that i just give up. Please help me, i just want to feel beautiful in my own skin! Sorry its so long. (link)
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when you have a shower, get out afterwards and put baby oil on your stretchmarks. do this over time and they will start to go i promise you. rich moisturizers regularly.
start drinking energy drinks, these speed up your metabolism. start halving what you eat.
try detoxing; drink only water, and eat only one type of fruit for a whole day, over the weekend.
try walking, going for walks will be slower than running; but still a good way to help you lose weight from all over your body. with or without your dog.
good luck, and start spending more time with people; start trying to spend more time out of the house; over time this will encourage confidence!!
charming ashlie
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I really want to have sex with my boyfriend, and I'm ready to. I'm 19/F and he's 22. We've been together for about a year and I love him so much, and I know he loves me. He said he would wait until I was ready, I am.
The problem is everytime we get close to actually having sex I freak out, and it's not that I'm having second thoughts or anything. I'm a virgin and I'm a little scared/nervous because it would be my first time and I don't really know what to expect or do. Were you guys nervous your first time? What even happens after you have sex, I wouldn't know what to do. And I guess I'm kinda scared that it won't be any good, for him, if that makes sense. I can't really describe what I'm feeling everytime I freak out.
Anyway, he can tell I'm freaking out and stops. I don't want him to. How can I tell him that I don't want him to stop. How can I explain why I'm freaking out? Any other advice would also be helpful.
Thank-you, and sorry for any grammatical errors. I typed this very fast.
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hi there; i only waited 2 months before i had sex with my boyfriend (not current, my first), i knew i would freak out, so i just said one day "lets do it", and we did it there and then. and it wasnt that great, but the first time is never brilliant, when its your actual first time.
I was 17 when i had my first time, i live in the uk though.
the best thing to do is not to worry so much; if you love eachother then you will do it, then please each other, then cuddle, and be glad that it happened.
nothing bad will happen, it will be sweet and lovely.
i hope you enjoy making it better after your first time!
charming ashlie
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whats a good song that pretty much says i like you a lot but i know you dont like me back and stuff like that? (link)
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i think there is a song by michelle branch, on her "the spirit room" album. try and download it and listen to it.
also, a song by sean paul, on his "dutty rock" album, number 13 i think. "im still in love with you" and him not feeling the same way.
thats about it that i can remember!
charming ashlie
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i dont want to make my mom upset because i am. My family is moving in 2 weeks, i tell my mom im alright with it because i dont want to seem over whelemed(sp). but i know my feelings will come out sooner or later. i find myself almost crying on the smallest sad or happy things. i dont know whats wrong with me. i really dont want to leave all my friends, im really about to cry. wat do i do?
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the only way anything can be done is if you talk to your mum; its selfish of them to move you; but you dont say why you are moving; their might be some great ones for leaving?
maybe, you need to try and think about the good things about moving; and trying to make friends online that are already in the area; and investigating things that you could get into!
good luck
charming ashlie
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I've been giving my boyfriend handjobs and recently a blowjob.
And in those times.. he has stopped pleasuring me. He doesn't really touch me/finger me.
Is it rude to ask if he would do something to me ..?
Is there a good way to ask?
I'm kinda shy haha. (link)
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well, you dont sound all that shy. i have encountered this problem before... and do you know the best way to deal with this? STOP TOUCHING HIM!
when he asks; ask him when was the last time he touched you? and make it clear that its a two way thing, and not just about him!!
although he sounds really selfish, and if it were me, i wouldnt waste my time on him!!
charming ashlie
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ive been haing a frinds wit benfits rlationship with my best guy friend but he wants to have a threesome with oneof his other girl friends and she already said yes. i also said i woudl but im not sure exactly what me and another girl would do. i wouldn't mind kissing or a little boob play but i don't want to go down on her and i think he might be epectign that. im not grossed out by it exactly i just dont know whaat im supposed to do, ive only ever had a dick in my mouth.
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can i ask how old you are? if there is anyway you can answer...maybe check my page out and email me...
firstly; if your uncertain in anyway then dont go through with it; the reason i ask your age is because you sound really young.
sexual experimentation should be taken at your own pace, and you should respect yourself, and the experience, the value, and the effect its going to have on more serious relationships as you get older.
i wouldnt know about going down on a girl, as i have never done it, but if you dont know, ask her and him.
good luck
charming ashlie
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okay so ijust broke up with my boyfriend a couple days ago cause he cheated on me.
so tonight i decide to go out on a date with another guy. Turns out hes really nice and sweet, but im not going to rush into a relationship. But if
i do decide to go for this boy theres a problem hes 15 and im 13 and hes black and im white.
my mom woulldddd flip see i dont care about the whole white black relationship im not rasict and my mom isnt either she just has always said she didnt want me to date black guys idk why so what do i do
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your only 13, so dont rush into it; enjoy being single and dating for a while, and i dont mind this to sound bad but i think your mum is a rascist.
its only 2 years age gap, and a different skin colour. take it slowly; and be careful who you place your trust in!
charming ashlie
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ok, so today when i was stepping out of the sidewalk from my house, i was listening to mp3 and suddenly this guy pulls up his car, i get really frightened, then he asked me "do you want to get a ride?" and i politely said no, thank you, then he gets out of the car and starts walking towards me, and i didn't want him to ...he asks me my # and name and what school i go to, so i was really horrified at the time and i couldn't think straight so i gave out my actual number and thinking back, i have nooo idea WHY i did that, then he told me he'll call me soon and walked away...
i have a feeling that he's been watching me ever since i was getting out of the house and really creeped out, he might be some stalker, what should i do?!?! any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you! :) (link)
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tell someone you live with; change your number if you can; and next time it happens, give a fake number, but try and note down the details of the car, so you can report him to the police!
stay safe
charming ashlie
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I'll try to make this as short as possible, I already wrote it once but my cat went under the computer and stepped on the power switch. So I have to start over.
Me: 9th grade next year/HS
Jon: 8th grade next year/MS
My mom hardly lets me go anywhere with my friends, and when I do someones parent has to be there. She also hates the people I hang out with. They're punk/rockers and she thinks they're strange. She told me I couldn't hang out with them before which pissed me off, because they're my friends.
My friend Shelly, who is in 7th grade this year has a friend named Jon. I met him when I went to the mall with Shelly, Hannah, Jeremy, and Crishelle. (My mom thought that it was just me and Shelly. It was on the last day of school, after school.)
Michelle didn't tell me but we met up with other people too. Jon, Cody, Dominic and Scott.
Michelle intorduced us since he was in seventh grade and I had never talked to him before. I knew the other people who were in 7th grade because they're in my chorus class.
Me and Jon ended up hanging out by ourselves for an hour because everyone wanted to go somewhere different. We just wanted to walk around. So we did, and we talked and flirted and everything. Then we went to meet up with the rest of the group to eat.
When it was time to go, Jon hugged me goodbye and said "See you around" We had to go meet my mom because she didn't know who we were with, and if she did find out she wouldn't like it.
What I want to know is how can I see him again. It was the last day of school. I don't want his/my friends arranging it so we go to the mall the at same time, because he'll find out. They can't keep secrets worth a shit. The only people who I trust are Hannah and Shelly and they don't believe I like him. I told then but they laughed it off because he's not the type I usually date.
How can I see him again without making it too obvious that I or someone else arranged it?
How can I arrange it? Or how can I convince someone else to while sounding casual. (Like hey, why dont we invite Jon) but sounding like I don't really want him there that badly. Which I do.
I still don't know him that well, and I won't get to know him unless we can hang out over the summer.
How can I keep in ouch with him over the summer when I won't see him at all.
The only thing I know for sure is that we have some fo the same friends. What should I do?
Thanks to anyone who answers. I really need help.
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say to your friends who arranged it that you had such fun, and say how boring summer is going to be if your each on your own; talk about ways you can make summer fun, then bring up the idea of all of you guys hanging out again, like going to the mall again, or going to the cinema etc etc.
hope you have a fun summer
charming ashlie
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Does water make you gain weight? I know in the long run that it makes you lose weight, but if you drank a lot of water in one day & weighed yourself, would you weigh more? Thanks! (link)
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its actually best to drink hot water with a slice of lemon, this cleanses your system really well; drink in the mornings.
charming ashlie
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okay so me and my friend bth like guys that are in the same group.and today at brunch we actually both talked to them at the same time. so we hang out at the same spot at lunch which is in a classroom. but the teacher told me and my friend that only me and her could be in there. so we couldnt let anyone else in :( (meaning the guys) so they came up to the door and were joking around a bit like normal guys do(kicking the door, yelling etc...) but after awhile it looked like it was starting to become serious they looked really mad and all and called my friend a bitch. i dont know what to do at this point. doicall him and try to talk or let him bloww off some steam???pleeze answer soon since whatever the choice is i have to do tonight!!!!thanx (link)
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ummmm...hello? he called you a bitch, and was yelling and going psycho; what if you got in a relationship with this guy and said you couldnt have sex until the legal age; he would react like that or worse wouldnt he??!! so dont bother with a boy like that; hot heads are not worth it!! trust me, i am 20 and have been with a guy like that, and although i am lucky he didnt physically harm me, he did harm me seriously emotionally; which will screw up all the relationships afterwards, because trust me it will end badly with a guy like that!!
charming ashlie
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Okay, so my mom had to go for two months somewhere because my grandma is like, dying.. =/ which is making me incredibly depressed.. & I of course can't go with her because I have school.
So, I'm staying with my dad who lives like an hour away.. & will be for two months. My parents are separated because he cheated on her.. anyway, he WON'T let me stay at home with my mom's boyfriend even though he's trustable & much better of a father than he is & he doesn't want me to be alone either
So this means, I have to wake up at 5 in the morning everyday (i usually wake up at 6:30 - 7)just so he can drive me to school. not to mention that his son cries the whole night (i sleep in the same room) so it's not like i sleep anyway. there's nothing to do here either & he is nice and all, but i just want to go home
the other thing i could do is stay with people around my house, which is this lady i don't know, but she is my moms friend.. no thanks.. or stay with my uncle or cousin, but my uncle has no tv or computer so definitely not & he is just really boring and my cousin has a kid who i think is super annoying & will probably cry all night as well & in both places i would have to sleep on an uncomfortable couch..
now those are not my idea of places to stay at for 2 months. i really don't like my family.. so i don't even know what to do.. =[ helppp.. & plz don't say just deal with it, because i absolutely can't..
& i don't really have any best friends who's houses i could stay at either :[ only my boyfriend but yeah right.. (link)
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why doesnt your mum intervene? if your that unhappy, and the lack of sleep is interfering with school, then you ought to be able to go and stay with your mums boyfriend. you should have a say about where you go.
charming ashlie
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ok well so wat happens is that i have this one buddy(hes friends with my bro too) hes well he used to be like my best friend or lik a brother to me right...so one day i go to his house to work on some assingment...his parents leave...we stay by ourselves and he starts kissin me...first i didnt want to b/c i felt weird but later i accepted and we start makin out n then somethin more (anal sex n a blow job) ok ok so it felt weird after that day but i thought it wa lonly once so i was "ok" but the other day we were left by ourselves again and he started kissin me again but i stopped him this time b/c we were in school and someone could have seen us so yup...one day a friend, mi bro and I went to his house so we were watchin a movie and he tells me to go with him b/c hes gonna show me somethin on his computer so i go and again it happened this time ended up havin sex.. this was last friday havent seen him since and I feel like our friendship is fallin apart b/c now he only talks to me when he needs a favor or like to touch me... and i feel really bad b/c i let this happen and now dont know how to stop it...i think he doesnt wanna be my buddy anymore just like frinds with benefits...but it hurts b/c i still see him as my best buddy...wat can I do?? HELP! (link)
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i think that maybe he has just started fancying you; sometimes you think your friends with someone and it turns out they only started being friends with you because they fancied you. This happens a lot; either accept the change, and either go out with him, or just be a fun buddy, or stop it; stop it happening by not being on your own with him; and when he tries it, talk to him about it.
charming ashlie
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