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best friend boyfriend trouble
okay well i have this friend who had been my best friend fot the past 3 years now. 6 months ago she found herself a boyfriend who she has liked since 6th grade(3 years ago)in the beginning he was the better of her ex boyfriends but now he is a total jerk. all he wants to do is makeout and go to 2nd wherever they are. when she isn't around or not paying attention he makes these really annoying/hurtful comments either to me and my friends or to someone about someone else and i hate it. all of my friends and my best friends friends hate him and know where i am coming from. Jess(my bf) really likes him. i dont know if she likes HIM or the IDEA of having a boyfriend. we have been fighting so much with any little thing i say about him. when he is with her she forgets that my friends and i are there. her boyfriend bobby will randomly walk up to her while her and i are having a conversation and start making out with her. i have come to hate him and i cant stand to be around him. i have told jess all of this a ton of times but she claims she loves him. and her and i never get alone time. i just dont know what i should do because she likes him and knows i hate him and still no progress with anything is being made.(ex. trying to not forget im there) what should i do? ps sorry this is so long
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
There are two things going on here, so I'm going to address them separately:
Number one, your friend is going out with someone who is apparently not a real nice guy. You know she's gonna end up being hurt, and you're genuinely worried about her. Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot you can do about this. You've already told her what you think of him, but she's still crazy about him. As they say, love is blind. If you keep saying bad things about him (even though they may be true), she's only gonna get defensive and angry with you. She may accuse you of being jealous or meddlesome, because she's not ready to see the truth. She's gonna have to find out on her own what a jerk he is. And when she does, she's going to need her friends' shoulders to cry on. So just realize that and be there for her.
Number two: you're feeling rejected by your friend because she's ditched you for a boyfriend. (You'd probably feel this even if he was a great guy). This happens all the time! It's hard to learn how to balance friends and a boyfriend. Try not to take it as a personal rejection. Your friend still loves you and needs you, she's just to preoccupied to realize that you're feeling left out. Just tell her that you miss spending "girl time" with her and try to plan some shopping trips, sleepovers, etc. that don't include him. But keep this separate from the other issue (that he's a jerk).
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sit her down [alone] and tell her this. and dont play about it. make her realize you dont like it. if you have already or it doesnt work [which i can see why it may not if she's head over heels], then heres what i would do. simply dont be around her when there is potential that he may be there or soon come struttin up to her. if you & your friends including him go out places in groups, refuse to go if he'll be there. if youre at school or something talking to her and he comes up, dont try to fight for her, just go. basically make her realize that you wont be around him. if she then chooses him over you, let it be. [this may cause some drama but ive seen this and it does work out beautifully in the end]. one day, when either she realizes she misses you and/or they break up, she'll come back to you. when she does [this will probably be the hard part] dont be all like "i told you so!" or anything to start trouble, just be supportive of her and let her know you're happy yall's 'break up' is over =]. yall will be better friends than before. it may be hard to do [as ive seen] but its worth it. good luck!
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stop hanging out with her; six months down the line when shes lonely, whether they have split up or not; she will come running back.concentrate on the friends that are there for you.
charmingashlie
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well now on this earth there are going to be people we like and we dont. thats just life.
you should just tell your friend how you feel. [[honesty is the key!]] tell her how you want to hang out with her ALONE. one on one time. if she is your friend like you say she is she will understand. and maybe you have to bring to her attention that you are being leftout. maybe sometimes she doesnt realize it!?!?!?
but you should respect how she feels about her bf. you dont have to like him for her to go out with him. now you should tell her that as well. you should tell her that you dont like him but that you will accept the fact that she likes him. and TRY to get along with him. try ignoring his jerkish behavior. im sure he will grow out of it..when he gets older. but thats not fact.
hopes this helps
BrittanyMegan:]
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sweetie im wondering if he really likes her then. try talking to HIM. it will bevery hard and fustrating but tell him that things just arent working out. get your bf to talk to bobby. maybe that will help. jess isnt being fair. hes obviously hurting you (emotionally) and making you angry so she should care. a guy really shouldnt come between a best friend relation ship
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