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best friends and sex
16/f
well my best friend is a guy. we hang out a lot alone because we've been friends for so long. well he came over today, my parents are out of town for the weekend, and we were in my room talking and such. there was an awkward moment where it was silent and we kissed. just a long kiss. then we stopped and stared at each other for a second.. then i basically threw him onto my bed and we made out for a while. i'm a virgin but he did it with his ex. so i don't know what came over me it was sort of like a movie scene. we just started taking each other's clothes off and before i knew it we were having sex. well i loved it and um, he's a guy so duh, but after we were done and just laying there i started to regret it a little. i love him but he is my best friend. i never thought of him romantically, but now i just don't know. it really complicated things. he put on his clothes after a little and i said you should go. so i just kissed him goodbye. i guess in that moment i felt really attracted to him and wasn't thinking straight. maybe this has been something that has always been there but i've never noticed it. now i don't know what to say to him or what to do next but i think i could be with him. obviously i feel comfortable around him and safe, and i like him as a person because he's my best friend. but if i am with him and it goes bad, we'll most likely stop being friends.
any advice :/
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That must have been a sweet, intense experience! Congratulations. :)
As long as you continue to cooperate and support one another as great friends, nothing has to go bad, even if you do decide to pursue a romantic or physical relationship with him.
First off, I think you should re-evaluate your own feelings towards him: are you just jazzed over giving your virginity to such a well-trusted friend, or did this really change your view of him? If it's the latter, you probably can't just "go back," and it'd be tough if he didn't feel the same way. It'll be just as tough if he's more attached than you, now, as well.
Stay kind of nonchalant: what did you do together before, play video games? Write, draw, watch movies? Keep that going to let him know that you're not going to cut him off.
Then, if you're interested in a more intimate relationship, be a tiny smidgen more familiar and flirty, and keep an eye out for signs that he feels the same way. Brief touches to his arm, smiles, giggling at his jokes, brief eye contact, and saying his name are good starting points that shouldn't be too overpowering if you find that he's not interested.
But do also keep an eye out for signs that he's uncomfortable, awkward, or avoidant of you: these would mean you need to be more casual, like a regular friend again.
If the time comes -- you either feel like you're going to get involved, or you feel like you're being driven apart -- have a good in-depth talk with him about what happened and how you each feel about it.
Then, on a somewhat unrelated note, think about your choices of contraceptive and STD protection. Do you need testing? Do you need, and have time for, the morning-after pill (within 72 hours)?
Basically, everything will be fine if you stay calm and work together. After that, all the great things that can happen to you are up to you. Best of luck! :)
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Well I can understand where you coming from and I kno it may be a little wierd but you have to talk to him about it and asked him if you came on to fast and just talk to him about it because if you dont time will past and you will regret it for the rest of your life. And if you love him you cant change that but just tell him how you really feel and what you think about him.
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Don't let your hormones confuse you. Your body wants a baby. Your body wants you to have sex to fertilize an egg. What your heart wants... could be totally different. (Sorry if it sounds weird but that is what my aunt always told me & it's true.)
You need to talk to him. If you're such good friends, if probably won't be so bad. If things weren't awkward during, the after can't be much worse. You have to find out how he feels about you and how he feels about what happened. And don't force yourself to have feelings for him if you don't really like him that way. But if you do, he probably should know how you feel. I don't really know what else to say. GOOD LUCK!!!
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