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My Son...
Hey, I am Leigh-Anne, I am 35 years old, a week ago me and my husband were working late, my 12 year old son was home alone, when I came home I went to his room and caught him having sex with a 17 year old girl who is a friend of the family. I was schocked. She was giving him oral sex and they immedietly stopped, please answer thanks ~Leigh-Anne
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well first, talk to him..he is a guy with sexual thoughts. second, you didnt ask a question.
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give the boy some privacy put locks in his room.whats wrong with having sex at 12 sooner or later hes gonna have sex.
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Wow! I could only imagine your reaction to that. Maybe you should talk to your son, and maybe change your schedule, so you can be home more often.
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1st of all of COURSE they stopped immedietly after you walked in, if you and your husband were having sex/oral sex wouldnt you stop if you son walked in? Your son kinda sounds like a pimp getting with a 17 year old so maybe you and your husband should find a way to accomidate your work schdules so that either of you are home more often, this way he wouldnt be able to have people over without your knowledge. Punishing him for his act will only make him want to more. Perhaps rewarding him when he is left alone and behaves in a better answer.
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uhh y0u c0uld have been m0re specific.. y0u didnt even ask a fucking questi0n..
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first off im not blaming you because he was exploring but sorry mam your sons a pimp damn lady hes 12 has he hit puberty already or what maybe the slut couldent get any better.. but dont ground him that will make him wanty to do stuff more just give hima SHORT talk about why thats illiagal and dont punish him but talk to her fucking parent and tell them what a fucking slut she is and move away and never talk to them again lol maybe not that drastick but you get the drift........
hope i helped a little bit
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Dont punish him and you cant punish the girl cause shes not 18 so it would be useless.....lady tell you r husband to give him the talk and ask why he did it and if he says "Damn Dad i just wanted some." tell him to wear protection and to keep safe and just let him live his life
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umm first of all...that girls got problems....and she could get in SERIOUS trouble for that....talk to both of them...and if you feel you need to..press charges against her
hope i helped
~jody
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wow sad hahahahahahaha ur pathetic 35 and dont no wat to do ur a bad parent
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i would slap his ass! haha jk just talk to him about it but dont be stupid. you HAVE to ground him..you are the parent !!! lol sorry but that's just WRONG!.. hehe hope i helped x3 Ari
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What is alarming about your question has been some of the answers posted in response. If the sexes were reversed (17 yr old boy with a 12 yr old girl) people would be telling you to call the authorities and press charges. Which, I feel, does no good for anyone, unless your child was an unwilling participant. I suspect that he probably is proud of the fact that he has been "doing it" with a much older girl.
My advice is clear. Your 12 year old son has lost his innocence, and has moved onto a stage where he needs his father to start treating him more like a young man. Your son cannot go back to the naive boy that he was, and he has been given the freedom up to this stage to do whatever he wanted. Chances are he has had more experiences than this one. How open is your husbands relationship with him? Do you have any older sons who can also talk with him? Your husband should asked him a bunch of specific questions about his sons sex life and teach him what he knows about sexual responsibility and sexual addiction. A one on one lecture sitting across each other at the dining room table probably isn't best. He should be active in something so that he does not feel embarassed talking to his dad about SEX. For us guys we are more open when we are distracted in doing something else, like drawing or video games or working on our cars. There are many books which can assist your husband in this "talk". Might I recommend a book called "Man to Man".
Do you think you might condone your sons new sex life, or condemn it? Read some of the other questions on this website from 12 year olds and you will see that 12 is NOT unheard of for kids these days having sex. Just be careful that he doesn't equate the amount of sex he has with what it takes to be a MAN. At school they boast about these things, and eventually "getting ahead in the world" becomes a sexual reference and not something that is a result of his dedicated school work. Watch him closely, but from afar.
Other people gave you advice about what to do with the 17 year old girl. She has her own issues and her parents need to know. Thats all you need to do.
I hope you can post a positive update on your son someday.
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You and your husband should sit down with your son and talk to him about what happen and find out the details of how they got to that point and if that was the first time or if it had happen before, but don't be quick to punish him because if it wasn't his idea or wasn't the one that started it he was more of a victim in a sence. If he was the one that "made the move" then you should have a talk with him about that kind of stuff and inform him about the responsiblities that come with sex so that way he will atleast have a basic understanding. But you and your husband also need to sit down with the girl and find out what is going on so that way you have both sides of the story plus i am sure she is not at easy with getting caught doing that to your son. In all though you need to sit down and talk with both of them and get all the facts and then decide what you feel the best course of action is.
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o wow thats really bad....i dont even know what to say becuase i know this was probely as big of a shock to you as it woukd be to any body...
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Well u shudnt freak out or anything theres nothing wrong with it.
Just sit him down an talk to him about the risks both physically and emotionally about sex an buy him sum protection too like condoms and a lock for his bedroom door
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Well, I am only 13 years old, and I have done way worse things than that. But that's not the point. It IS NOT your fault, he is your baby boy and he is growing up, I advise you to have a talk with him- maybe the sex talk. (but who knows these days, he probly already knows it all by now) If you or your husband don't feel comfortable, try getting a family friend (not the 17 year old) to try and talk with him. Maybe, even get him some condoms. (i know totally outrageous) but, if you don't he might end up doing to worng thing and having unprotected sex and getting an std or someone pregnant. But, the longer you wiat, the more he is going to experiment. He is going to experiment, but make him comfortable to talk to you anr your husband about it first. That is the best I can give you. I don't know if it made sense (I am hoping it did)
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Well I know that I am not a parent but I am a teenager and I have seen my friends parents go through a lot. A lot of what some of the people are posting may not be true. like how it was your fault? no its not, it is your sons fault and the 17 year old girls fault. He made that decision. and for every decision he makes their are consquences whether they may be good or bad. I know that whenever I do something wrong my parents take away a lot of stuff from me or yell at me but I have come to realized that they only love me and they want me to grow up and have a happy life. also your son is getting to the age where he has to make a larger variety of decisions now. I know I did. But guide him to the right path. if he wont listen make him. he may get mad at you but hey your a parent he'll eventually understand. Oh and about the 17 year old girl maybe you should have a talk with her parents about her activities. and trust was pretty much crushed. thats the best advice I can probably give to you at my age. -signed lying dreamer
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What is the Question?
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u dont have nothing to worry about yeah he is young but it is normal because all the kids that age are doing that now .. its just a normal thing now ..but it is kinda wrong since that girl was 17 , hope i helped , tell me how it goes..
xl h0ll0w li3s lx
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talk with him thats kinda gross since hes only 12 and dont forbid him from doing stuff cuz then he will rebel and do worse stuff anyways if you want to kep control of him be kool about it and if he must do it make sure hes safe and at your house instead or sum persons you dont know..rate me
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ur prolly goin to find this rude but it sounds to me that ur son is just a lil mac! lol but explain to him how thats bad
Gabe
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This is hard, and anyone that is not a parent themselves really shouldn't be answering this question, so ignore all the rude comments that some people have posted, they have NO idea how hard it is. You need to talk to both your son and the girl together. Sit them down and explain why you are so upset. He may not understand what the big deal is. Explain to him that sex is sex, whether it's penetration or oral sex. H ecan still get diseases from oral sex, and eventually, the oral sex is going to lead to penetration. Tell him all the stresses of being a parent and ask him what he would do if he had gotten that young girl pregnant. Really, make him face reality. He DOES need to be punished. How is up to you. I know this is probably very hard for you, and I know that it's hard for a working mom to be around her son 24/7. Good Luck!
Bridgett
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ok well first off... grounding him isn't going to do anything. it will only make things worse. i know my dad always used to ground me and all it would do is make things way worse because then i would just do way worse then what i was doing in the 1st place just to show him he wasnt in-control. you can talk to him and let him know how you feel about it, but that may not work either.nothing you can do or say is going to change how he feels about sex. i dont really know how to tell you about how to deal with this. i know you may not like this but-it was ur fault. for leaving your son home alone. anything can happen-but i do know that grounding him will only cause him to argue and fight with the you. i wouldnt recommend it however it is your choice.only you can decide how you want to handle this.
i really wouldnt recommomen that you make the girl and ur son stop seeing each other all together.that will cause alot of hostility between all of you.and he will just keep seeing her anyway. but you are not going to guarantee trust to eith one of them while they are together. and also, once again, only you can decide what is best.
hope i helped. good luck.
.:Misty:.
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I think you should scare the crap out of him. You should have your husband ask him questions, personal ones. Ask him things are normal for a young boy to go through (ex. wet dreams) and have your husband over react and almost make it seems like something is wrong. take him to the doctor and have him tested for Chlamydia and gonorrhea (which is very very painful), when it comes back positive tell him (whatever example you used to scare him with) is normal and that this could have been a serious situation and he needs to wait until hes older and wiser on the subject. i'm sure it will scare the shit out of him.. i know it's harsh but hey, so is life.
PEACE
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um i know im only 16 but it sounds like you and your son or your son and your husband need to have a talk with your son. and maybe set up some discipline lines so he knows whats right and wrong
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Contact her parents.. She shouldn't be doing that with someone so young. Talk to your son and tell him all the diseases that can spread and that he has to wait.
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Hey, I think you should now disapline him more and find out where hes going and whith who, whos going to be there cuz now you have to be over protective and make him relize he brought this on him self.
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That "family friend" has got to go, sorry, shes gotta leave, if she were a mature 17 year old women, she wouldn't have EVER done that. Please get rid of her, or you're gonna get so caught up in this you'll catch your son parenting at 12. I hope you get her out fast. Also, talk to your son about this, and I don't care if they immediatly stopped, they wouldn't have kept going and that doesn't make her any less "innocent."
-TheTeenGirl
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ewwww what kinda partents are you ? i think you are the one who need to be punished . by the way if i were you i will be kill that mohta fucking slut that is giving ur son a XXX. come on she is fucking 17 she can get better guy than you son other wise maybe she is butt ugly and fucking slut
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Listen Gurl your son is waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy to young to be having sex at his age but think about how you were when u were 12 if you weren't into sex then he shouldn't. The gurl he was with who is 17 she should be banned from your house becuse even if you say your notn allowed near each other they won't listen. Hey would you listen if your dad or mom told you to stay away from your sex partner or boyfriend would you?
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Wow! Your a bad parent. You should not let your son have sex until he is atleast 14! Stupid Head
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is this some kind of fuckin joke? thats just strange. well you said you caught him having SEX and then you say she was giving him ORAL SEX. so which one is it
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you're asking us? you're on an advice site asking some 13-17 year olds what to do? what kind of parent are you? you're 35, and you don't know what to do? hahahahahaha ... you're pathetic.
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ok well first off... grounding him isn't going to do anything. it will only make things worse. you can talk to him and let him know how you feel about it, but that may not work either. nothing you are going to do or say will cange what happened. and nothing you can do or say is going to change how he feels about sex. i dont really know how to tell you about how to deal with this. I dont know exactly what you can do to him, to make him realize that to you what he has done was wrong of him. i know it may sound stupid but when workin late, maybe get someone to keep an eye on him to make sure he isnt doing anything that he shouldnt. maybe have a neighbor just keep watch or check on him for you and your husband. but i do know that grounding him will only cause him to argue and fight with the both of you, your hubby and you. i wouldnt recommend it, however it is your choice. you and your husband should sit down and discuss together, what you both think is the best way to go about your son. i dont know if any of this is exactly what you were asking, and i also dont know if my answer has helped or even if it was good. either way... only you can decide how you want to handle this. no one else can tell you how you and your hubby should go about this matter and how to punish your son.
as for the girl, you should maybe talk to her and let her know that you would rather her not be around your son unless there is an adult present. i really wouldnt recommomen that you make them stop seeing each other all together. once again that will cause alot of hostility between all of you. let her know that you are willing to let them continue to be friends, but you are not going to guarantee trust to eith one of them while they are together. let her know that you will abserve the way they are with eahc other and if you find that they are doing anything else together or with each other, that you will no longer allow the two of them to be together. as with telling your son this also. once again this may not be the best advice. and also, once again, only you can decide what is best.
good luck. hope it has helped
EDIT:
btw... i was just wondering, did you catch them having sex or was it head. you first said they were having sex then you said that she was giving him head. which one is it? and also..
why would you be asking a bunch of teenagers what to do? your the adult, your the parent, you should know what to do.
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Ya theres not much you can do about it! Thats somthign every one used to talk about in school! i woudl never had sex at 12 though im 14 M and grounding him's not goign to do any thing! i would egta restraining order on your "freind" and tell her to get a life. Thats sad when a 17 year old girl is hooking up wiht a 12 year old kid!! You got Problems....Counseling ladie
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Oh my g-d!!!! You should be shocked!! Did you tell him and give him the whole lecture? I dont think you should let him stay home alone anymore and dont let that 17 year old girl come around him or your house anymore without and adult. Talk to her parents about it. I think your son should have a serious punishment, i havent even had my first kiss yet or a boyfriend to think of having sex! He is too young! Sorry that sounded a bit too harsh but i got a little ofended sorry! lol
♥ MIchelle
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ok you n ur son need to have "the talk" then ground him, and tell your "friend of the family" that she needs to get her head straight
hope i helped!
~*ana*~
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oh my goodness. well hes a boy so let him do what ever he wants. just because you ground him or whatever hes still going to do it. your not going to stop him if he likes it.
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before grounding him I think you should have a talk with him and ask him whose idea all of this was. He could've been being molested. I would also IMMEDIATELY talk to the 17-year-old about why she was over and exactly what happened.
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You have the right to be shocked about this. You need to discipline your son by grounding him for a while without going anywhere besides school or not watching TV or going on the computer. You definitely need to talk to this girl and ask her why she was interested in doing this, especially with a 12 year old who is about 5 years younger than her. Don't listen to those other people, this isn't your fault because you didn't know it was going to happen. Your son needs to gain your trust back and that's going to take a while. Hope I helped :)
-Karen
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