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Cutting
My friend cuts herself. And it really scares me she talks about killing herself sometimes. Like she thinks no one would miss her. Sometimes I wanna kill myself too but I realize how many people would miss me. But she doesn't seem to realize that. She doesn't cut herself often like she only did once but I am just scared it might become a habit. What should I do? And its not that serious enough to tell anybody yet and she would get really mad if I told anyone. I don't plan on doing anything until it gets worse like i see marks on her arms. What should I do to keep her happy and keep her not thinking about killing herself? I'm so scared right now please help me! I rate High and leave comments too!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I know how you feel, I have had three friends cutting themselves, one didn't tell me about it and they commited suicide about a month ago. So now I am trying my hardest with my other two friends, I managed to stop one killing themself but i am always worried about him even now.
So my advice is this, when your friend is cutting herself, or even shortly afterwards. Sit down with them and talk.
Firstly, ask her why she is doing it..and don't settle for just a '' I am unhappy. Or I am miserable '' Poke deeper..ask why she is unhappy. If it is somthing serious like she is being raped/beaten by her step father ( Like with my friend) tell her you would do everything in your power to help her and keep it from happening again..if it is somthing in the matter of worry.
Such as, 'I am worried my girlfriend/boyfriend will leave me ' Reasure them that it should never happen to them because they are so special and important, and even if it did.. they shouldn't even consider killing themselves...as they are so important to you and so many other people..and they deserve more.
2) As that sinks in..tell her that you are incredibly worried about her and if she did you and everyone else would miss her...
That is all I can help you with at the moment..as her why she is doing that..and when you find out..if you want more help I can give you more advice..I've got experience with this type of thing <3 Ghosteh
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Try not think about it.. you should get someone who is older then both of you and all 3 of you sit down and talk. Try and get everything sorted out and try to make things better. I know it'll be hard but you got to give it a shot-trix
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I have a friend that had the same problem. I thought shed be mad if i told but i did anyways. I told the guidance counceler at my school who told her parents. it turns out she really wanted help because she was scared. she thanked me and now she writes down her feelings. so i would defenantly tell someone if you care about her. you are only being a good friend, not a tattle tale.
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Do fun stuff with her. Have parties with all your friends, just so she will she how many people would miss her. ANd for waiting to see the marks on her arm...well you can cut other places. So i would talk to her and say dont do it because it could hurt you in the long run, if it is already a habbit for her, tell her to put a rubber band on her wrist and whenever she needs to for her jsut to slap it on her wrist.
hope i helped
sam
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Don't leave it till you can see marks on her arms- talk to her NOW. Youv'e got to tell her how much everyone loves her- her parents, her friends, e.c.t. If she hit a vein by accident she would be likly to die. This IS serious. Recomend to her that she should email the self harm alliance for free on support@selfharmalliance.org. Act now and you could be stopping her commit suicide in the future.
Zoinatrobe
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dont let it get worse... thats not ok , talk to your school counseler or tell her to get a physciatrist or something [ sorry if i spelt it wrong ] .. dont let it go to far...
hope i helped
jessie -;- xo
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You can't help her that much .. I have been in that situation too before .... But seriously you can't HELP her .. Maybe shes doing it for attention? but if she doesnt tell ppl .. like okay if she goes around telling ppl about she does have a problem .. but it's not that shes that suicidal its more like she wants attention .. if she doesnt tell anybody and she keeps cutting she does need help .. my bff Serena had a friend named Lexis and Lexis cut and Serena found marks on her arms but never told ANYONE ever .. Lexis kept cutting for over 4 months .. then her mother found out and they talked to lexis and serena and serenas mom .. Lexis didnt go to a shrink she lied after a few weeks and kept cutting .. she hid it from Serena and everyone .. she still cuts and has terrible self confidence .. Serena needed to tell but she didnt want to get Lexis mad at her .. she should have .. because now Lexis is in the hospital with cut marks all on her arms and so skinny because she starved her self and Serena never told on her .. Your friend needs help .. if you want to wait ... wait .. but only if you knows for a fact things arent getting worse .. as for helping her yourself without telling .. the best you can do is NEVER judge her .. tell her you there for her ... and even if you cant give her good advice or talk her out of cutting .. let her know you there for her and just be there for her .. but kind but firm .. Hope I helped .. and if things do get worse ...TELL!
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Find out what she loves to do and on a weekend take her there or give her somthing like whatever she likes im sure she'll take her mind off of it. I know probley something happend in her life a bad thing and maybe she just needs to talk to someone. <3 American Girl
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Ya, I see where you're comming from. From what you're telling me, I really dont thinkt hat shes gonna kill herself anytime soon! If you havent seen the scars on her arms yet or newhere from her cutting, i really dont think that you should worry because thats usually how it starts. People start with cutting and gets worse and usually they get help in time. If youre really concerned about her, you could always take her out for ice cream and sit down with her and have a talk about it and why she shouldnt kill herself. To keep her from not thinking about killing herself, you could take her to the mall, skating, movies, bowling, anything that you 2 like to do 2gether. its not that easy to stop cutting, i no because i cant stop, but hopefully, you will be able to help her with this problem!! I hope I helped ya and have a happy new year!
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ok well obviously this girl is a little disturbed by her life right now and obviously she needs someone to make her happy and make her realize that shes important to your life and others like if her birthday is coming up plan her a surprise party and get a ton of people to go to make her feel really loved and take her out to the movies and out to the mall and do stuff with her and talk to her on the phone make her know that you are always there for her and that she can call you with anything and talk to you about anything make sure she knows your there otherwsie she will do something without you knowing because she wont want to talk to you because she wont think that you are there.
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Well, I am going through the same thing with mine friend right now, but my friend almost suceeded. Prove to her that she has people in her life that care about her, and a lot of people would miss her if she was gone! Try to be with her a lot so that she won't be alone, and be able to do, and keep her occupied! Hope I helped you.
~*^*~Becky~*^*~
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Your friend needs to know that someone is there for her...and that is where you come in. That means that you have to talk to her now. Dont wait for her to do more damage to herself. You should bring her to the mall or movies...anything that would take her mind off the cutting thing. I kno you care for her, that's why you are such a good friend.:) If your other friend cared too then she should listen to you.
~Sammie~
P.S. dont be afraid to talk to her about this. otay
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Tell NOW! Do not wait until she is stuck in a pattern of self abuse. That you know anything about this should be warning enough. She could go straight from one cut to suicide. This is not something to fuck around with. Get your friend the help she needs now before it is too late to help her.
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Well I know she would get mad but you need to tell someone. I would rather have a mad friend than a dies friend. You need to tell someone fast. Also when she is talking about killing herself talk abput all the good times she had and all the people that would miss her. I think she needs to get counciling!
~Always looking to help Made4Monkeez
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the only thing i suggest is tell her how much you care suggest her seeing a gdocter help her in anyway posible tell hher how much you care telll her youll always be there
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No. YOu shouldn't wait until things get worse. Thats like sitting around and letting an accident happen. If you really care for your friend you need to go straight to her parents. She needs mental help, or some kind of medication. Stop her, before she goes too far with it, and actually does kill herself. I'm sure she has no intentioins of doing so, but you never know... accidents happen. Tell her parents, or an adult so they can get her some help. It doesn't matter whether or not your friend gets mad at you. It's either her getting mad at you (which I would risk if I were you) or you ending up at her funeral.
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Hi,
I know quite a bit about self harm as my brother used to cut himself too.
There are 3 Main types (this does not mean to say there are only 3)
The First is Affect regulation - These are self harmers that self harm as a tool for:
Escape from emptiness, depression, and feelings of unreality.
Easing tension.
Providing relief: when intense feelings build, self-injurers are overwhelmed and unable to cope. By causing pain, they reduce the level of emotional and physiological arousal to a bearable one.
Relieving anger: many self-injurers have enormous amounts of rage within. Afraid to express it outwardly, they injure themselves as a way of venting these feelings.
Escaping numbness: many of those who self-injure say they do it in order to feel something, to know that they're still alive.
Grounding in reality, as a way of dealing with feelings of depersonalization and dissociation
Maintaining a sense of security or feeling of uniqueness
Obtaining a feeling of euphoria
Preventing suicide
The second is Communication - These are self harmers that self harm as a tool for:
Expressing emotional pain they feel they cannot bear
Obtaining or maintaining influence over the behavior of others
Communicating to others the extent of their inner turmoil
Communicating a need for support
Expressing or repressing sexuality
Expressing or coping with feelings of alienation
Validating their emotional pain -- the wounds can serve as evidence that those feelings are real
The third main one is Control/Punishment: These are self harmers taht self harm as a tool for:
Continuing abusive patterns: self-injurers tend to have been abused as children.
Punishing oneself for being "bad"
Obtaining biochemical relief: there is some thought that adults who were repeatedly traumatized as children have a hard time returning to a "normal" baseline level of arousal and are, in some sense, addicted to crisis behavior. Self-harm can perpetuate this kind of crisis state
Diverting attention (inner or outer) from issues that are too painful to examine
Exerting a sense of control over one's body
Preventing something worse from happening
Each case of self harm is very very different and I would not be able to help any further from the little I know about his case.
The best advice I can give you is to go to [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
This is a fantastic site that supports friends/relatives and loved one of self injurers.
You will find a whole wealth of information here pertaining to self harm, there are suppport groups and lots of links to sites that may help your friend.
I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope that your friend gets better soon.
Take Care
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