about

Hi, I'm Zoinatrobe and I give advice for most things- school, self harm, fashion, family, ect. I often notice on advicenators that when people give advice, they tend to say what kind of thing you should do to resolve your problem. I can't say I can do it all the time, but I'm going to try to say HOW you resolve a problem. I often give advice to my friends at school.
About meeeeeee-I love rock and funk (and funk rock!)- The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Jimi Hendrix, Nirvana, ect, exercise 8 times a week each time an hour or more (rowing, running, kickboxing) and play guitar. (I have a Fender with a wah wah pedal and an acoustic.) And don't you just love my mouse warrior? ;-p

advice

i feel kinda weird asking this, but i really need help.

my chest is practically non-existant. and when i say non-existant, i MEAN non-existant.... i'm barely even a double A and i'm 16! i can't wear dresses and my choices of shirts are extremely limited because of it. i need to know how i can make my boobs GROW! i'm a gymnast, so i don't think eating a lot of fatty foods would be a good idea.

thx!
i rate high for good answers!

If you have been a gymnast for a long time, you may not have enough body fat for them to grow. You may have to consider what is more important. It sounds like your amount of body fat may be very low, so maybe cutting back just a little from training or eating more (it dosn't have to be fatty) may be a good idea as you grow. When your body has fully developed (at around 17, 18) you can train all the time. For now, like someone else has already said, try wearing padded bras. Hope I helped,
Zoin-

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my best friend just called me 2 minutes ago. I was over her house earlier but her Dad said I couldnt stay for dinner which is weird because i do alot. Im practically part of their family. But anyways, my friend calls me and goes, "My mom has breast cancer." Then she had to go but she promise she`d call me back. PLEASE help! Anyone. I need something to say to her - Im crying because her mom is like so close to me and my family. I have never been through this and i dont know how to comfort her. ♥

My mum has breast cancer at the moment- she has just had her operation like three hours ago. I find it hard to deal with, but don't panic yet. When your friend calls back, make sure you know how bad it is. Stage one growth is slow growth of the cancer, (which is good), stage 2 medium slow growth and stage 3 fast growth (not all that great.) Ask your friend if she knows the stage. If it is a lower stage it will be no problem and she will simply have to have an operation and radio therapy. This may make her tierd and possibly a bit sick (the radio therapy). If it is a higher stage she will have to have an operation, kimotherapy and radio therapy. Kimo therapy is unfortunatly not very nice- she may feel weak, sick and tierd with loss of appetite.It is possible with kimo that she will lose her hair.
Don't stress too much- when anyone says "cancer" people are all like "oh no someones going to die"!. Medical treatment today is fantastic, she will be fine. Tell yourself this.
I must admit I have not been able to tell my friends about my Mum yet. If I did I would like to be told that all the cancer growth will be gone in about a month. And its gone now. Just say everything will be normal quite soon. It will all be over and done with, then forgoten. Be strong, comfort your friend and make sure you are there for her at all times. It sounds like you are really close friends. Remember it was hard for her to tell you, so don't dwell on the subject for too long, just act caring. I know quite a bit about breast cancer and dealing with it now, so if you are worried again send me a question. Good luck,
Zoinatrobe.

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i have three rabbits but one of them seems to of lost all his body fat this winter has anyone else experineced this????? he is eating fine he is his normal self

In winter if your rabbits are living outside, they must burn more calories in order to keep warm. If your rabbit loses body fat, he will be cold for the rest of winter. Give him a little more food than usual, put more hay in the hutch and purchase some sort of heating device safe for rabbits. You can usually get these from your local vets.
Zoinatrobe.

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every time i run the mile for P.E. i get these painful cramps while running and even if i stretch before running i still get cramps. what type of stretches should i use to prevent the cramps?

First of all, eat a banana before every run you do.Bananas are magic for energy. To relieve yourself of cramps, place one hand on of hips and stretch over, keeping your back striaght. It is hard to explain, so see this website- http://www.womensheartfoundation.org/content/Exercise/stretching_exercise.asp and see the stretch named -Stretches triceps, top of shoulders, waist. However, when doing this stretch, instead of having both arms above your head mantain the arm drawn as the left arm in the picture, but with the other arm rest your and on the hips. This stretch is guaranted to releive cramps. Hope I helped,
Zoinatrobe.

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i'm 13 and haven't had a period yet. i know that's normal, but most of my friends have had theirs, and htey give me a hard time about it. first they'll say i'm not a woman, then they'll say i'm lucky! it gets annoying. what do i do?

-punctationless

Being a woman has nothing to do with if you have your period or not- no offence to your friends, but you seem to be more of a woman than they are- far more mature. In conversation, try to steer clear of period talk. Soon enough you will get your period but believe me- its nothing to look forward to.
Next time periods are mentioned, show off in a joking way that you are lucky, but don't go overboard. This will shut them up, knowing that you don't mind not having a period.
Quite frankly, I wouldn't worry about it. Hope I helped,
Zoinatrobe.

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hey i have my periuod but i dont know how to use a tampon... im afraid im going to get it this weekend and im going to this club for teens. I need to wear a thong so i have to wear a tampon. But how do you use it... is it hard?? Does it hurt? what should i do..

You can buy special sanitary pads for wearing in thongs. I strongly advise you to stay away from tampons till you are older. If you can't find the pads for wearing in thongs, you can get starters tampons. Hope I helped,
Zoinatrobe.

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my skin sucks ass. its been about a year and a half with ance. My dermatologist hasnt made a single difference! not alloud 2 go on birth controll pills. and my dermatologist wont let me go on accutain!!!!! HHEEELLLPPPP.

P.S. my days are so much harder with acne..everyone around me has perfect skin...and if u say "it will go away soon.. or in a few years" ill kill u!! lol.

Try a different percription- proactive or whatever your dermatologist recomends. I am not an expert at medicine. However, I can recond precautions- when washing your face, never wash it with soap, only water. It would be better if you brought a facial cleanser. I can recomend clean and clear cleanser. Avoid touching your face, and NEVER EVER squeeze spots. This can cause scars that would remain there for possibly your whole life. If you wear make-up avoid wearing anything that could block your pores- i.e blusher, powder, e.c.t.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, try to see your face beyond the acne. Every morning when you see yourself in the mirror, complement yourself- say things like "You are beautiful" or simply "cool!". It really does make you feel more confident throughout the day and does wonders to your self esteem.
Hope I helped, send me a question if you need any more advice. Good luck,
Zoinatrobe.

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I hate my life and I have a lot of problems. My dad left me when I was 3 years old and he lives in Tenneessee with his girlfriend and my half brother. I only get to see them once a year on Christmas. My half sister lives about 45 mins away from me and I only get to see her about every other weekend and on some holidays. My mom lives about 30 mins away from where I live with her boyfriend. They are getting on my nerves because she wants me to move in with them and I don't want to be away from my friends or switch schools again. I live with my grandparents. I have gone through a lot these past 2 or 3 years. I moved away from all my friends in the 3rd grade (Im in 7th grade now), but my best friend changed to the same school as me. Then She moved About 2 and 1/2 hours away in the 4th grade and I didn't even know untill about 2 or 3 days after she left and I hardly ever get to see her. Also school is really stressing me out. A few days ago I cut myself and im thinking about doing it angain. I snap rubberbands on my rist and I get bruses and scars from it. I am thinking about going goth but im probably not. I just have a really bad life. I was wondering if anyone could give my any advice on how I can try to make it better. It's ok if you can't i know it's probably hard to give advice like this. Please and thanks.

~*~Britt~*~

Don't cut yourself again, please- if you hit an vein by accident, it is likly you would die. Next time you get an urge to cut, harm something else, like cut an orange or punch a pillow. Love yourself and think of all the other people that love you- your family, no matter how often you see them, your friends, ditto....no matter how bad you may think your life is there are so many people that care about you- even one who has posted an answer to this question! If you did accidently kill yourself think of how they would feel. It would be best to tell your grandparents or parents next time you see them but if you really can't, speak to your school counsellor or e-mail the Self Harm Alliance on support@selfharmalliance.org. It could save your life. Also, try to have no worries or think of anything negitive for a bit- it can make you really happy when you are acting positive.
Good Luck,
Zoinatrobe

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I'm looking for some really great teen fictional books. Can anyone recommend some to me, or even if you can't, a great website that has a list of them? I'm looking for a book along the storyline of like love and romance.... but even if you have a book name that's not about that but it's a great book, thats good too! THANKS!!

In my opinion, the best books of all times are;

Noughts & Crosses-One of my two favourites. About love and romance through disequality. Sooo good.)by Malorie Blackman
Knife Edge (sequel to Noughts & Crosses. Also about love.)by Malorie Blackman.
The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night Time by ??? (Sorry Iv'e forgotten who the author was, but you NEED to read this book, it is amazing. Its told through the eyes of a boy with Aspergers Syndrome, a minor form of autism.)
His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman. A classic. Three books- Northern Lights, The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass. Not as good as the rest Iv'e recomended but worth reading.

If you want to know about more good books, send me a question.
Zoinatrobe.

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I am a thirteen year old female and I have a close male friend who is also thirteen. We are very good friends but we don't have any type of sexual relationship at all. Today we were having a discussion about soul mates and I decided that I think that he might be my soul mate, as in a friend not a lover. My question is, do you think it is possible to find your soul mate at thirteen? We are really good friends, I tell him everything and we are always together.

Yes, it is possible to find a soul mate at pretty much any time in your life. If you always confide in each other and there are no bounderies friendship wise, he may be your soul mate. Make sure you mantain your bond for the rest of your life- he seems like a really good friend, I wish I had a friend like that.
Zoinatrobe.

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My bestfriend is being cruel to me. She likes to show off. She also acts to me like i am her slave. She is a suckup and don't know what to do. We have been friends for so long. I am moving far away soon and she is either really sad and is mean to me or she doesn't care that i am moving. I don't know. She use to be so nice. But know she is trying to be popular and mean. PLEASE HELP!!!

IV'E CHANGED THIS ANSWER
OK,
If your so called friend ignores you when you are speaking to her, then there is no point in being her friend. Friends are ment to be there to talk to when in trouble, e.c.t. Try slowly drifting away from her, going with your other friends. If they are her friends too, you may need to find new friends. I myself hear this alot on advicenators and I know what you are thinking- it isn't that easy. You don't just go hunting for friends. If there is a group you often eat lunch with or something, start talking to them more and sometimes going off with them instead of her. Maybe join a club for your grade. There are lots of ways to meet new people.
If she acts to you as if you are her slave, drifting away from her will "free you". When she tells you to do something now, you can say no- you have other friends so don't just depend on her for friendship.
Like you said in your question, she may be very sad and this showing off is a way for her to attract new friends.
Hope I helped, question me if there is trouble,
Zoinatrobe.

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Ok, My friend she is sad and feels theres nothing left in life but friend's.See im trying to help her to see there is more in her life then that but she just dosn't understand.I try to talk to her but she just say's there no use because she knows this life of her's is pretty much true,but even though it pratcically is there has to be something that i can do to help her get over this sadness she has. and i just don't know what to do.plz help me to figure a way to make her happy again.

~SilentTears

Your friend is in a bad situation at the moment, but situations can be changed. You can help- as she thinks that friends are the best part of her life, make sure you and all your friends are especialy kind to her. If you don't know, find out exactly why she is so upset. Encourage, but DON'T force her to confide in you. Getting things of her chest may help her get it out of her system. Give her a number to an organisation. If you do not feel comfortable doing this, ring a number yourself and ask for advice for what to do about your friend. Try childline - 0800 11 11 or go online at www.childline.org.uk. This is free advice on aany topic. Convince her to tell her parent/s or gurdian. As she did not mention parents in whats left of her life, she may not trust them. You know best- you can choose weather to leave this step out or not. After this, monitor the situation closly, asking her how she is feeling. Try and get her to join some kind of club with you and some other friends, such as a new sport. If she becomes dedicated to a sport or art, e.c.t it adds to what is left in her life. Ask to go places with her alot, like shopping or whatever you like doing. If there is trouble, send me a question. Hope I helped,
Zoinatrobe.

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Is it wrong to cry if your dog died and you've known her since you were a toddler? My friends would think it's silly, and when you think about it, it kind of is. Does anybody else think it's silly?

No way! If my rabbit that Iv'e had since I was 6 died I would cry! A dog is like a friend or even a family member, especialy when you have known it for so long. I'm so sorry- you will get over it. However, don't cry in public places about it. Your friends oviously don't see how important your dog was to you- it is not them being horrible. Lots of sympathy, hope your dog goes to doggy heaven.
Zoinatrobe.

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i try to do crunches every nite before i go to bed. how long do u think it would take if i did about 50-70 a nite to try to a get a 4 pac (at least) and how could you get rid of a double chin. ( i weigh about 102 ) and im 13 im also about 4'7 and im not that fat i just have chubby cheeks (sorta) and a little double chin. how can i get rid of that and how long would it take?

To get rid of a double chin, you must have a healthy, balanced diet and regular excersise that tones the vast majority of your body. I advise you to do a long distace run at least once a week and an exercise circuit however many times you can a week. (I will explain this later in the answer). Continue with your crunches but don't overdo it, and if you do, make sure you overdo the rest of your body as well. If you don't you will not have a balanced muscle structure.
Here is the exercise circuit- Stretches, if possible a 10 min on the spot jog,20 starjumps, 20 step-ups, 20 sit-ups, 20 press-ups, 10 leg raises, 20 sqats (ski-sits, pretending to sit down without a chair), 20 squat thrusts ( putting hands on the floor with arms not very bent then jumping with the legs to bring knees towards the rest of the body then away so legs are striaght)and 20 burpies ( a squat thrust with a jump at the end of each one). Do this 3 times then make sure you get a good warm-down.
Hope I helped, if in trouble just send me a question, Zoinatrobe.

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Can any one tell me how to shut little sisters up and also i keep a diary and it's impossible to have any privesy in my house does any one have any good ideas to stop little brats getting their hands on my diary! Thanks for any suggestions Joolz (plus i rate high)

Try hiding your diary somewhere high, like on top of a book shelf. They might climb up with a chair so make sure it is far back enough that they can't see it. If this means you can't reach it just use a chair. You could get a key diary or a lock to close your diary.
If you have your own room, make sure they know that they can't EVER come in without your permission or knocking. Try and tell them this in a friendly way. If you share a room with one or more of your sisters, try the "This is my half/third/whatever and this is yours" method. They are not allowed over the invisible line without asking.
Knowing how to shut little sisters up depends on their age- my little sister used to be the biggest brat on the earth but when she reached around 8 years old she became a little angel- well, almost! Part of stopping small annoying beings from being so fustratingly annoying is understanding and spending time with them. I know exactly what you are thinking- Aghhhhhhhhhhhhh! If your sisters are your friends they tend to be less annoying. Try talking or spending time with them quite alot-don't forget hugs, e.c.t. They are usually perfectly aware that you think they are brats and this, strangly enough, seems to make them live up to "brat status". If you convince them otherwise they won't annoy you as much.
Hope I helped, if you are in more sister trouble just send me a question.
Zoinatrobe.
Sorry about the length.

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ok well i have this issue with my apperence(sp)..well its a little depressing to me because ive been made fun of for it..well my problem is that i have a witch type nose.i cant take it anymore i try to hold in my tears but i cant hold them back, can you please help me i need a way to deal with this or something...


p.s. please dont make fun of me because this is the first time i said this to someone. i have never let out my feelings and it truely wont go away its a cut thaat will never close by the way this isnt the first time ive been made fun of.i was made fun of 3 years ago and i can remeber every single detail to when that happened thats why i cant bare it anymore

Ok,
You have been made fun of twice. This may not sound like much to most people. I understand it though. I look like a boy. This is also the first time Iv'e said it to anyone. I look just like a boy and I'm constantly being teased, asked and talked about behind my back. For me, that wasn't the problem. My problem was that every time I looked in the mirror I saw my face and see how much I look like a boy. And every time I got teased, my hate for my own face would double.
I don't have this problem anymore- I still get teased ad stuff, but now I like my face. I improved my self esteem by loving myself and how I look. The best way to do this is to look in the mirror and (although you sound like an idot) say "I am beautiful" several times. Then sit down and compliment (out loud) what you think are the best things about your appearence- your eyes, your hair, e.c.t. Only focus on the positive things. Also, buy face moisturiser and other beauty products- anything that will make you feel good about yourself.
More importantly, remember its whats on the inside that counts, and although you might (I did) feel that your opinion is less valued because of your appearance, that anyone that is your friend will not care at all about your nose at all. You can be popular easily. I never believed this. Just be yourself.
Finally, don't be afraid to let out your emotions by writing poems, songs, random notes or other things. Just try to avoid crying if you can- it makes you think that things are much worse than they really are. And in the end if you really can't live with your nose, there is the option of plastic sugery, though I would completly avoid it. Good luck, love yourself, and remember to send me a question if you need any help whatsoever.
Zoinatrobe. (sorry the answer was so long).

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people think itz wrong for a 9th grader and an 8th grader to be together,tell me how is that?

No way- you are only one year apart! If your Mr or Ms (I don't know if you are a girl or a boy) Right happens to be a little older or younger than you, then thats just how it was ment to go. Ignore these stupid people. As long as they arn't seven or something, thats fine.
Zoinatrobe.

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ok, i am NOT the fighting kind of person... but i called this one girl a whore because she told me to stfu. but now she wants to fight me and i`m NOT gonna fight her.... shes not exactly skinny and she has a lot of mexican friends... im not scared of her at all... but should i tell her that i`m not gonna fight her, or should i just go with the flow... i dont want ppl to htink ii`m scared of her for not fighting her.... its just i knoe that if we fight... we`re still gonna hate eachother so wuts the point..?

i hope you can help... xOx

Ok,
When (or if) this girl confronts you, walk away and act as if she is really imature and stupid to want to fight (wich she is). If she starts saying rude stuff about you to provoke you, ignore it. Don't take comments about being scared. Act as if you are COMPLETLY above this and this stupid fighting over nothing is SO below you.
All this should leave her looking very stupid. Walking away in the right way should leave her still standing there in her aggresive stance and you acting as if she is sooooo dumb.
NOTE- Don't be openly rude or say anything offensive, simply show it in your body language.
Good luck, and if there are any problems or anything, just send me a question!
Zoinatrobe.

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to make your butt smaller i've heard that squats help.. what is a squat? please tell me what it is and how to do one thanks

Sqats are also called ski-sits, if you recognise that name. If not, you can do a squat by pretending you are sitting down on an imaginary chair. The slower you do them, the better they are for you. If you want to make your butt smaller, try doing lots of them. If you want to make your butt smaller really quickly, try holding a weight to your torso as you do them. If you choose to do this, it is very important to keep your back straight. Lots of luck!
Zoinatrobe.

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I have problems with my nose. I always pick it and people make fun of me ! BUT SOMEHOW I ALWAYS HAVE AN URGE TO PICK IT! kinda like my wedgies ;-) any ways can you PLEASE tell me how to get over this urge!
thanks
nosepicker.

NP,
First, thanks for asking me the question (my first one sent to me!) :-).
Firstly, try to think of nose picking a something beneath you- you are far stronger than your urges. Whenever you get an urge, if possible, blow your nose. Make it completly snot free! ;-). Also, make sure your hands have something to do- just figiting with a paper clip or doing small hand exercises. ALWAYS have something for your hands to do when you are most likly to pick- for example, whilst watching T.V.
As for the people that make fun of you, everyone their own problems, no matter how perfect they may seem. For example, 10% of women and girls with periods have bladder weakness. They may simply be trying to make themselves seem perfect by teasing you, making sure that everyone knows they never pick their nose (which they might).
Set realistic goals to give up the habbit- to start, don't do it at all for one day, then if you are ok with that, two days and so on. After a while you should find that you don't have urges any more. The key is to resist all urges. If you resist one urge, you won't get them as much. Finally, tell everyone who makes fun of you that you are giving up. After this NEVER pick in front of somebody again- if you are REALLY REALLY needing to pick, go to the bathroom and wash face and fingers afterwards. Remember, picking can give you spots under your nose.
Hope I helped,
Zoinatrobe.

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