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Never had a boyfriend... what is wrong with me?
I really need to find out whats wrong with me. Im almost 17 and ive never had a bf or my first kiss. Not to sound conceited, but TONS of people talk about how "gorgeous" and "nice" I am. Some people WONT even beleive me when i tell them ive never had a bf. I always see these nasty, uglier, RUDE girls get ALL these guys. But ive never even had one. I guess maybe its cuz im shy around people i dont know, but if you talk to me im NOT. Ive became more outgoing and flirted with guys.. but i cant seem to find anyone im actually interested in. I just wanna know what it feels like to have a bf. (I dont just want one to have one.) I feel almost like im missing out on my teen years. Sometimes i even get depressed thinking im doing something wrong. Any advice?
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Don't worry I know so many people who have the same problem as you and they're the smartest prettiest girls at my school. There's nothing wrong with them they just aren't as forward or as comfortable going up to a guy and later that night or the next week making out. To be honest most guys think and not but almost all whos going to sleep with me and if you don't seem easy a lot don't try. Trust me it'll happen. A lot of the girls in the same position of you have recently had their first kiss as senior in high school. Nothing wrong with you.
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You know, I probably should never say this to anyone, but I will.
The reason you're apart is because, quite frankly, you're better than all of them.
When you see nasty, ugly, rude girls being chased by guys, they're being chased because those guys want girls who will put out easily and not have any problems with it. Girls who will cloak themselves in the illusion of being grown up and let the guys bust a nut in the process.
I was a teenaged guy once, I did not ask girls like you out, precisely because I was a horndog and wanted to get laid.
So what do you do? You haven't found a guy you're interested in yet. Dating is about forming interest. So if a guy asks you out, give it a shot. Its a free meal out at least, the guy has a chance to impress you (which we'd rather have than the money we spent on a meal anyway) and maybe something will click.
If not, don't go on a second date.
Putting yourself out there is a bit more than flirting.
But I will let you in on a secret.
Every single person (among the peer group you described) who's out there having sex and dating wants to convince you you're missing something great.
Honestly, no, you're not. The people who look back and think "god, that was awesome" are the people who, like you, are looking for people to connect with rather than just "a boyfriend" and found someone to connect to like that early. You just haven't yet, and that's more about when the right person crosses your path than anything else. Also, teenaged sex is almost by definition awkward and often unsatisfying.
I actually have a friend who's 19, but otherwise somewhat of a slut, kind of has no standards, and who definitely gets her validation by making guys want to fuck her. She's kind of in a bad place, but the point is that she's slept with more than one guy I'm really tight with.
I know what she's like in bed, in exquisite detail. Its not good, she has sex at people rather than with them, it's basically a performance based on whatever porn she's watched in her life and is the reason all the guys I'm talking about have only gone there once, then broken it off.
And while you feel left out because you don't have and haven't had "a boyfriend" you still are looking for more than just "a guy who will make me feel fuckable from time to time" in that relationship.
This is both mature and healthy. It's just that you're surrounded by idiots doing stupid shit, and its so prevalent that you can't help but look around and wonder if this is what the world is like and if you're missing out.
You aren't. Adult dating doesn't work that way, and when your peers hit the point of settling down and getting married, they're going to be hella surprised at how much of a bitch maintaining a working relationship is.
Your peers are why the divorce rate is 50+ percent most places in the country.
You're being you. That is fine. You're not missing out on anything because you're not the type of person who wants to be some random guy's fucktoy and get your validation from how much guys want to stick their dicks in you. Sure, it makes you more than a little abnormal now.
In the future, you won't regret not selling out to even the slightest degree.
Also, college is a much better place to come into your own and go in for relationships and sex. The guys are more mature, and more experienced, and you can avoid teenagers entirely (highly recommended)
:Edit:
Final note. I'm sure that you look at guys and think "do I want to date him" and when they ask you out you try to see if you find an internal reason to say yes.
Try going the other way around. If someone asks you out, ask yourself if you've got a concrete reason to not spend an evening getting to know them. If yes, then say no. If you don't actually really have a reason to say no, and you're just not that interested, then say yes. Just be a little flirty and slip in something like "yeah, we can go grab some dinner, see if there's a spark there" with a smile.
If not, again, just don't go out on a second date.
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Your not exactly doing anything wrong, but your probably the type of person who wants something specific in a boyfriend, and once you can't find that thing, the guy doesn't interest you. But every person has a good side and a bad one, and everyone has his own faults. Their are sometimes people who just think in this way ,so different than others, and they think that it would never work out with anyone but if they meet a person who is exactly like them, like has specific qualities, and thats probably how you are, its not a bad thing, its just part of your personality.
Just try to loosen up, try to take it easy, give guys a chance, meet the bad and the good, have good and bad experiences, get hurt and then move on, and meet others. It doesn't have to be someone who you are completely interested in, you can even be with someone who just one thing in him really interests you.
And hey, dating is not always something wow, its full of problems and trouble, and getting hurt and cheated on, and treated bad. It does still have a good side, of the feeling of being in love, and the nice words, and going out and having fun. Its just like a friendship or any relationship you experience in life, it has the ups and downs.
And its not something bad that you've never dated before,its actually unique and respectable, and maybe one day if you get married, and you have your very first kiss with your husband, other than with a boyfriend, now that would be really special, and your husband would be so happy, he'd feel like you saved it all for 'the one'.
Basically, these things come by time, you can't make it happen, or you can't make yourself like someone or someone to like you, just be yourself, cause if someone would ever be with you, he'd be with you for who you are and that self of yours, not the person you've changed into to make guys like you. Your great the way you are, your probably just not meant to be with someone now, but maybe one day, you will, and that person is gonna be really special, and worth all your teen years and all the time you missed out on being with someone.
Hope i helped, please be free to contact me if you need anything else. Best of luck!
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Don't worry, there is nothing wrong with you at all.
I'm sixteen and I've only had a few boyfriends who turned out to be disappointing anyway. I wish that I wouldn't have gone out with them anyway because they were such a waste of time. A lot of boys around are age are only in a relationship for sex, whereas girls want an actual relationship and not just a sex buddy.
Those girls who are rude, nasty, and ugly are thei girls who put out, right? And the only reason why they have boyfriends is because they do so. The guys they're dating probably aren't nice either, are they? And usually after a few weeks or so they break up.
You ARE gorgeous and nice, and somewhere out there is an equaly gorgeous and nice boy waiting for you. So what if you're shy? There are probably lots of boys who go to your school who think you're very pretty and nice, but they're shy just like you are. It's good that you're trying to be more outgoing and flirting with guys more, but look around and find that cute shy boy who always sits in the back of class and try talking to him. Try to build up friendships with a lot of guys, because sometimes a friendship between a guy and a girl can turn into a relationship.
Don't worry about missing out on your teen years, because you aren't. A lot of girls start dating in college. Wait until you find someone who really interests you and then go for it! Don't get discouraged and good luck :)
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I'm almost 18 and I've never had a boyfriend. It's not as weird as you think. A lot of girls don't get their first boyfriend until they're in college, so don't worry about it too much. Those rude girls might be getting all the guys, but how long do those relationships last? Probably like a week or two, right?
Not having a boyfriend doesn't say anything bad about you. Most guys are just interested in sex right now, so personality doesn't matter so much. :P Take your time and find someone who loves you for your heart and your mind, not your face and what's between your legs. Trust me, it'll be worth the wait.
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I've always had this problem too. I'm about your age. I'm in the exact situation. I've also realized that all the slutty, rude, obnoxious girls get all the guys is because teen guys only go for sex. Some are actually worth it. But, you just have to wait. There's no harm in waiting. Don't rush to get a boyfriend to be satisfied and just to say, "I've had a boyfriend." It's also some of those rude girls' relationships never last, if you notice. If you really are gorgeous and nice, guys who actually have the potential to be your boyfriend will take the time to get to know you. My mother didn't date until she was 23 so I don't think it's a problem at all. It's normal and nothing is wrong with you. You ARE gorgeous and nice so you should wait for someone who deserves YOU. Take pride that you've never had a boyfriend because in the long run, you'll be happy you didn't let yourself fall for a guy who wasn't worth your time or use you like an accessory.
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don't feel bad. i never had a boyfriend till 9th grade. and now i'm in 10th. its not that big of a deal, and heres a little secret. having a boyfriend isn't really the best thing in the world. in a way their kinda like another set of parents that you can make out with. and you have to put up with their little timper tantroms. i wish that i hadn't started dating till i was older, but times have changed. don't try to be all on them cause then they'll start to thing your trash. and also...don't pursue the guy, let them come after you. it makes them feel more te! good luck!
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come to my back door!
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DON'T WORRY! because there are tons of girls out there your age who have never had a boyfriend or been kissed and its normal. Some guys might be afraid you'd reject them, or they think you're too good for them. Maybe they don't think you're flirting with them. Or maybe they think you have a boyfriend!! Find a guy you like and really flirt with him a lot..look him in the eyes, say his name while you're talking to him, copy his body language (*I read like if he touches his hair, you touch yours and if he crosses his arms, you cross yours and it subconsiously tells him you're flirting with him, but don't copy everything or you'll look like a monkey!) Make plans for you and a bunch of your friends (*including the guy you like) to go bowling or something. See how it works out and then plan some one on one dates. I seriously think guys go out with trashy girls just because they know 'better' girls are harder to get, just wait for the right guy..when he tries to get you, you'll know hes not just a low-self-esteem piece of scum and he has confidence and goes for what he wants. If you haven't had a boyfriend yet, all the guys were probably all wrong for you!
=) HoPe I HeLpEd!
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Just to let you know, nothing is wrong with you. It could be something wrong with other people, actually. Maybe you are so pretty, guys are afraid to get rejected by you, even if you talk to them. Don't become a slut, desperate for human companionship, however, but just try talking to guys you like a little more, and who knows, maybe you might get a boyfriend. Sometimes you have to make the first move when it comes to kissing, because the guy might be a little afraid to make the first move. Many people have not kissed until they are 17 or older, and could be in the same situation as you are, so don't feel bad.
Good Luck - QBillion
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Always remember that there is a time and place for everything. I am a big believer in fate and it never steers me wrong. No one says that you must have a boyfriend by 17. That is the biggest common misconecption that most girls and guys have.
Even though tons of girls that you may find "rude" seem to getting all the guys,you will see in the end that those girls will never be able to settle down and form a stable relationship.
My best advice to you is to wait it out. Your prince charming is waiting for you somewhere and the longer you wait for him the more prepared you will be to start a real relationship with him.
Why settle for an average guy who will probably end up breaking up with you in a couple of months?
Goood Luck
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If you aren't shy then just find someone and ask them out and get to know them.
XOXO
Charmed-Cherry21
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Most teenage guys just want to have sex... those rude girls probably have BFz cuz they are giving them ass... teenage guys do NOT care about how pretty or ugly a girl is... all they care about is what that girl is going to give them... & believe it or not... sum people dont get their first kiss untill they hit college... its really not a big deal... you should wait for sum1 special to come along... you'll feel really good if you do
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hey well i had the same exact problem when i was 15..all my friends like literally had boyfriends and i waz jealous. So im going to tell you the same thing my friend told me: Try to dress a little more revealing..not too much that you'll break the dresscode..but wear some skimpy skirts, really tite jeans, and tighT tops. Guys cant resist it..and they will make the first moves if u dress like that..and IT ACTUALLY WORKED FOR ME..so try it and let me kno how it does for ya.
HOPE I HELPED
NIKKI
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Aight listen up gurl, i know gorgeous girls as well(some even older then you) that have never had boyfriends. One of my gorgeous friends, she's 18, and never had a boyfriend. If you see her, you'd be like...omg everyguy must be crazy about her, the thing is though that she's so decent & gorgeous at the same time, that guys actually get like intimidated by her, you kno what I mean? Either that, or the guys who don't get intimidated assume she's like not the kind of girl who messes with bad boys like them. I don't know if this is making sense but don't worry, you will find a guy who's not scared of talkin to you cause your so beautiful
& yeah the thing about ugly girls gettin guys is because, since guys dont like them alot, they find another way of getting attention(sexual ways..u kno what im talkin bout)...haha and don worry your not missin out on much..(except maybe makin out, havin a broken heart.....ect.) as long as you got your friends to experience your teen years with, its all g.
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The reason why all the ugly girls get guys is because the ugly girls are more likley to have sex with the guys. This guy is always going out with ugly girls and when he asked me out I yelled at him and I was like "Excuse me, your not gonna add me to your collection of ugly girlfriends cuz im hotter than those girls" haha anyway, your time will come! Just gotta be patient, so all you can do now is flirt..and flirt some more! Hope I helped:)
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You never had a bf!!!!!!!!!!
omg im sooo sorry!!!! maybe guys feel intimitated by u or something. u cant be shy around ppl u have to be a party animal!!!! my bf and i met at a party and we have so much fun. but at least u never had to deal with the heartbreak when a guy dumps u or cheats on you. my first bf was wen i was 11 years old!
there is always some1 special for every1 and u'll find the rite guy for u it just might take some time.GL
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Girl, you need to get out there and meet some guys! :) Keep being sweet and always be yourself no matter what! And keep on flirting or make a move on someone or something. Ask a guy if he'd want to hang out with you sometimes. Or inivte them over to chyll at your place. Hope I helped!
-MiSsEmMYbOo-
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Well Idk if i can help u but im gunna try...look around ur school for that guy whos funny nice and sweet look arent that importat...maybe u have too high of standards idk but once u find that guy think about him and picture him in ur mind and if when u picture him u wanna cry or do something weird then u like him after that u go up and flirt away!! be urself tho n dont make up ne lies or ne thing cuz hell find out. Also if guys dont seem to make u feel special maybe dare i say it u r gay....im not saying that u r but it could be a possibility if guys dont make u feel a certain way.
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*Ah, sounds like what happened to me. The guys are intimidated by you. And they already think you have a boyfriend so they don't even bother. This is the time where you have to make a move on a guy you like by asking him to hang out or telling him you like him. It's a sigh of relief once you get it over with because you have nothing to lose! Good luck =]*
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