Vicky's advice column

15/f. I have a major confidence problem and I'm SICK of it. Believe me, I wouldn't be asking this question if this wasn't getting in the way of things in my life. I feel like I need to be more brave; I'm getting nervous about sooo many things and I worry about EVERYTHING. I also have alot of fears, like I'm afraid of needles, public speaking, the dark, etc. I'm always so self-concious and feel like everyone is looking at me, when, in reality, they probably aren't staring at me half as much as I think they are... I mean I have all of these dreams to have a good job and do something to help people, like maybe a teacher or physcologist, but how can I something like that when I can barely present a project in class without getting extremely nervous?I have no reason to be so self-conscious and I wish I could just take life how it is without worrying so much. I wish I could just stop putting myself down and doubting myself and just feel like I can do anything, because I know if I think positive, good things will probably happen more often. So, does anyone have any tips on being braver and more self-confident? Any websites on how to teach myself to be braver? Lol. Thanks

A book by Paul McKenna is helpful "optimal confidence" that guy is proper good, you get a free cd with the book too.
Im soon gonna go and see a therapist about the same problems, it really helps to talk to someone about it. Write back =)

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This is a question for people who have social anxiety or know what it's about. I know I have it but i'm wondering it could be worse than just the normal social anxeity. I know many people who have it, but seem to run normal lives. For me my life is run by my anxiety. I'm afraid to awnser the phone, walk in front of people, go out with friends, talk to people, go to school, etc. It's to the extreme where latley i've been very anti social. I've been ignoring my friends for the past three months. I haven't been to school in two weeks. When people talk to me I avoid them. I sometimes wonder if i have paranoid shystco (can't spell that) Are these intense of things going on normal? Or are they more severe than usual.

Hello.
I know how you feel but the only way you can confront your fears is by facing them and dealing with them. Hiding away wont help you move on.
Im soon going to go and speak to a therapist about my insecurity because it helps to speak to people about it. Write back =) x

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ok well im a f/14
yes im 5'1 an way 120
i don't look fat well i have some meat but im not like a sumo restler
but when i turn 16 i'm going to star modeling because that is my dream ya know . anyway i want to get skinnier
does anyone have any tips
i tried starving myself for a week and when i felt i was going to faint i ate a cheese cube (yes i know crazy but im desperate) any help??

you know if you starve yourself, your brain thinks there is a famine going on, so it sends messages to your stomach to absorb and store more fat when you do eat something. So you gain weight.

Secondly, if you do starve yourself, then when you do eat, you are more likely to indulge in fatty foods.

So starving yourself will get you nowhere.

You need to make a healthy eating plan and stick to it. Get the book *i can make you tihn by Paul Mckenna.
There are loads of good tips in that book or even better, watch his show. It really will help.

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I read washing your hair once a day is super bad for it. My hair is quite damaged (I've already switched to SunSilk Hydra TLC and I now use a heat protectant) but I want to see what not washing my hair so much will do for it.

How many days should I go without washing it?
And, what if my hair looks greasy, will that stop when it gets used to not being washed as much?

Heyy! you should leave your hair without washing it as long as you can because it starts to clean itself naturally. When you start to wash it less it will look slightly greasy at first. However, after a while, this will not be the case. It wont look greasy and it will be healthy.

XxvickyxX

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ok i just turned 13 a week ago and i'm in 7th grade, and i havn't had a boyfriend yet...i'm pretty sure its because... i'm ugly, i mean i wear glasses i'm 5'0 or 5'1 and i'm fat... (135) waht do i do??i cant talk to a friend or cousin or aunt, and my mom passed away. so i live with my dad. what should i do?? please please please help me.

Heyyy! talk to me! i dont mind, i really like helpin.

There is no rush for a biyfriend though. Im 16, ive never had a boyfriend, many people havent had realtionships and there is no rush for them. They are complicated and people make such a big deal out of them. You might as well wait for the right person........... someone who loves you just as much as u love them. You dont want to be with just anyone, you want someone special.

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What are some natural cures for headaches?

Drink loads of water. Headaches usually occur due to dehydration. Paracetamols will do it if not water.

XxvickyxX

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Okay, im 5 foot 1. i weigh about 125 pounds. I know this isn't that fat but i want to lose about 5 pounds. I cant really lose weight because i have a broken arm. I have a long cast(from wrist to the middle of shoulder and elbow). I cant bounce my arm up and down or it might slip out of place. But i get my cast off in about 2 weeks. What do i do to lose weight?

You dont have to exercise to lose weight. Just eat healthier foods and also, eat more slowly because many people eat really fast so that they on this high of shoving food in their mouth and not even chewing it properly and so they dont sense the signals being sent fron the stomach to the brain telling your brain that it is full.
Therefore, many people eat much much more than they need to.

Also the slower you eat, the quicker you become full and so you eat less.

XvickyX

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can i loose weight by not eating but one time a day or not eating at all or will that make me sick i really wanna loose 20 pounds by november plzzzzzz help me give me some advice?

whoaaaaaaaa! not eating is not the way to do it! if you starve yourself then your brain thinks there is a famine and so it goes into survival mode. This is where you begin to store MORE fat!

What you need is moderate exercise and to eat healthily therefore it is more like a lifetime plan rather than i ridiculous sudden and short wieght loss which u wont keep up.

You can lose weight quickly by eating healthy foods as they realease energy slower and make you feel more full for longer...... eat slowly!

XvickyX

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14/f

I've fallen for this boy but hes in 7th *im in 8th* and i know age is just a number but since hes younger than me and i never really talk to him except for in two classes, i dont really know about him like if he has a girlfriend or if he would ever go out with me. i dont rly have any friends in that grade that would know except for one. i could ask her but she would make a big deal about it. any advice?

Age isnt just a number. For example, at 16 it is legal to have sex because at a younger age you are not only underdeveloped but you are not able to deal emotionally with the results of having sex.

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im really shy & im starting high school so i wanna make many new friends, girl and guys. what can i do to overcome my shyness atleast just a little bit so i can make a good impression on people? will people come up to me in high school? i'm definitely going to join atleast 1 or 2 clubs, but how i can approach people? also, how can i make guys like me/talk to me? do guys find shy girls attractive and would they approach me or just stay away from me? in the past years in middle school guys seemed to not go near me since they think i "never talk" which is 1000000% untrue. so i wanna have a new start in high school. anyway. sorry so many questions. thank you

Hey, i personally dont think anyone can help you with that. If you want to be more confident then only you can make that happen by thinking differently.
For example, i have just started back at school and they are giving us loads of presentations in front of the class. Now, i can either sit there and have a panic attack (hehehe) or i can get over myself and just get it over and done with whilst it is only in front of 20 or so people as opposed to 1500 at university.
The thing is, i know what a nightmare life is when you are shy. Its fucking horrible. But you could make life so much easier for yourself if you just stopped being shy. You can do this! because shyness is just a psycological thing. You learn to be shy therefore you can learn not to be shy but to be confident. You just need to calm down and think more confidently and just not care about what people think, if you do then you will only be miserable and shy.
XxXx

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hay can you tell me common words in the british accent, i want to be able to talk in british...because i cant do any accent at all..i dont even have american.please.

erm, you mean like slang? i dont understand what you are asking me for, you need to be more specific. But dont be afraid to reply to this message because many people often are for some odd and unknown reason. hahaha :)

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how do i get pics to show up in comments on myspace?

hey, u have to put the html code in your message/comment :)

~vicky~

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I heard that Steve Irwin the crocadile hunter guy was killed.

I don't know if that is true or not true?

Can someone tell me if it is true?

If the crocodile hunter is really dead then how did he get killed? I am so sad if it is true.

Yeah it's true, i was well shocked. He was stung just below the heart by a sting ray. :(
Their venom isn't usually enough to kill a man but it's probably because he was stung so close to the heart:(

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i feel so weird because im 15 and i havent had my first kiss yet. is this normal?

I'm 16, i 've not had my first kiss yet. What's wrong with waiting for the right person? There is no rush :)

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Dude, alright i live in missouri and I went to a walgreens to purchase some condoms and i am 15. so i was at the check out and the lady said "i'm not going to sell these to you" and i said "uhm lady why not?" and she said "you are too young to be having sex and im not gunna sell these to you" then she put it in the bag to be put back on the shelf...so yah is that legal? (she lectured me for about a 1/2 hr on the subject so please dont lecture me as well

p.s. i rate for good answers

Well, as far as i know, she has no right to do that. I'm pretty sure that you that can even get condoms from the doctors clinic at that age. I think she was just giving you her personal opinion and therefore outstepping her limitations.
I mean, look at it this way, would an adult choose not to give you condoms and risk the fact that you might then go and have unprotected sex? You were doing the right thing, she wasn't. :)

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I start school tomorrow, and I have two zits and I've tried EVERYTHING anyone has told me that will work. Does anybody know what might help, and fast?

They're almost gone, but they're still visible and its REALLY bothering me.

Put toothpaste on them. It dries them up. It's great and besides, don't be so vain. You shouldn't care what people think! everyone gets spots. So what, it's not really such a big deal is it? or does it mean the world is ending? hahaha i'm just messin :)

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What is the name/artist of the song that goes, "She's got everything but she doesn't have me, She's got big [colorofeye] eyes how come she can't see me?" I tried googling it but it didn't work.

Hey i don't know but what i do know is that if you type the correct lyrics into google then you WILL find the artist. Are you sure they are the correct lyrics? :)

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HELP ME SOMEBODY PLEASE!!!! i have left school with only a few G grades (apart from getting a C grade in English).The reason being is that I have been VERY VERY ill with depression following the deaths of two people and ended up (i know it sound s awful) misssing about 4 years of high school.HELP!!!!!! I only got G's

I feel in a state if absolute despair. What can I do? What are somebody options in terms of college/further education if they get G grades? What courses would be suitable for them? Is it impossible to get a good job? PLEASE just be honest with me....but have I got no decent future in all honesty.PLEASE HELP ME I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!!!!!!!!Is this an English site by the way....only I wasn't sure...but anyway...I live in England.

Would a programme of GCSEs at college be suitable for someone in my situation? But are they designed for people with G grades/no previous knowlwdge in the subject?What would be the end goal in doing these?I wouldn't have a CLUE how to put a programme of GCSEs together..........so what can i possibly do about this????Also do GCSE courses cover the syllabus from thewhole 5 years spent at secondary scool (do people go over all this again) or do the GCSE courses at college only cover stuff from the last 2 years which would have been spent at High school???PLEASE CAN SOMEBODY OUT THERE HELP ME PLEASE AS I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME IF I DON'T GET SOME HELP SOON!!!!PLEASE SOMEBODY!!!!!!!!! WHAT ARE THE OPTIONS OF SOMEBODY WITH MOSTLY G GRADES????
I LIVE IN ENGLAND.

Heyyyy! don't worry, there are loads of things that you can do. Get in touch with Connexions please!!!! trust me you can ask them information on almost anything and they are really useful and helpful people who work on the phonelines. They can help you sooooo much.
Don't give up hope because there are loads of oppertunities available for you :)

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i hate my self because i have hairy arms.. i never wear t-shirts even if it is 90degrees because i just hate it.. i hate my body .. what do i do ????????

I have always hated my body too but the only way to deal with this is to accept it. You only have one body, there aren't any spares so you just have to love it and look after it.
Nobody is perfect and you shouldn't care what people think.
My friend has hairy arms, she doesn't give a fuck. Fuck everyone else, get 'em out. (note to self : calm down) erm yeah you have to accept your body the way it is and take care of it.
Plus, don't shave them or they will come back thicker and darker! :)

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