Hi, I'm Sophie. Welcome to my advice column!
I know I'm only fourteen and you may think that I know practically nothing, but I've been through a lot for a fourteen-year-old and I've seen a lot of things that other fourteen-year-olds haven't.
I've been depressed before and I've been through stages of my life where I've had nobody to talk to and nobody to turn to. I know how tough it is, so I suppose that's why I signed up for this site.
I want to help others who aren't as fortunate as I am now.
I'll try and help with whatever I can. I'm just starting out on here but soon hopefully my personal page will be slightly nicer to look at and stuff.
All the love in the world,
Sophie xxx
I am realistic, competitive, sentimental, crazy, private, cynical, ambitious, determined, self-centred and I always look on the bright side of life. I try to, anyway.
I hope I can help xxx
Gender: Female
Location: Wales
Occupation: School pupil
Age: 14
Member Since: January 15, 2005
Answers: 78
Last Update: April 13, 2005
Visitors: 5761
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okay-i just started to go out with the guy i love nd the guy that loves me,we had to wait 2 months to go out though because he wasnt sure if he was over his ex.me nd him have been going out for a week now.. nd his ex is telling me he likes her still. but when i ask him he says no i hate her. nd he shows me convo's of her nd him fighting..but she still contines to say he loves her she is a bitch nd really anoying.. nd when every i asked ryan(my bf) if he likes her he also kinda gets mad cuz i ask him alot nd he thinks i dont trust him but i do.. i just dont no who to belivie.who do u think i should belivie my love or the bitch? (link)
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I think you should believe Ryan. I think this "bitch" (sorry I don't know her name and she sounds pretty bitchy so...hey!) is just jealous and trying to make things bad for you two.
Ryan came to you and left her-if he still did love her I'm sure he'd be with her and not you now.
Stay strong, try to trust him and good luck!
Sophie xxx
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can sum1 please tell me when a disposable razor needs to be disposed of? i've 13/f and i've never used a disposable razor before.. whats a way to check if its dull or how do you know when you should throw it out? thanks (link)
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You should use it three times and then it needs to go. Hope I helped and good luck with them!
Sophie xxx
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my boyfriend and me have been going out for a lil over a month and i still dont feel anything for him, hes totally obssesed with me and i dunno what to say to him without hurting him because hes a really good friend of mine! I feel like im just stuck in a bad relationship. Some people keep saying stuff like i cheat on him all the time which i dont, im just a natural flirt and i cant help it!..id really just rather be single for awhile because spring breaks coming up and i dont wanna have to be tied down! Does anybody know what i could say to him that wouldnt hurt his feelings? :( (link)
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You've got to bite the bullet and do it, cause otherwise it's not really fair on him.
Let him down VERY gently and tell him that although you'd love to be friends, you don't see the relationship moving anywhere right now. Assure him that you haven't cheated on him and tell him that you're sorry.
He'll be upset at first but he will get over it-and this way you'll be free!
Good luck,
Sophie xxx
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hey im reese and i weigh 130 and im 15. well ive been a lil "chubby" over the years and it never seems to get any better. i see everyone at my age with different builds but their skinny. but im 5'5 or so and my stomach just never seems to flatten out. and i come from a family whos really skinny. please help. is it because i havent lost my baby fat yet? i would think im sorta underdeveloped at my age but i need others to help! thanks so much! *rEeSe* :) (link)
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Firstly, 130 pounds really ISN'T overweight for your height,honest! But here's a few tips on losing what you want to anyway. Maybe not all of them will be good for you, but you can give them a try:
*Never eat two hours before going to bed
*For flattening out your stomach, sit ups and crunches are the best-they actually do work!
*I know it sounds obvious, but try an cut out any excess chocolate, sweets, crisps and fizzy stuff. You'll appreciate it in the long run!
*For a faster metabolism (or whatever you call it, lmao!) eat five small meals a day instead of three big ones every other day. This will burn off the food faster!
*Try to cut out on any snacks-if you really want a bar of chocolate or whatever then eat it after a meal cause it digests quicker.
Good luck and I hope I helped!
Sophie xxx
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ok so the kid i like broke up with his girl friend about a week ago..and i really like him..my friend ask him if he would ever go out woth me and he goes no.. and i was really sad..and i'm trying to get over him but I can't..it hurts so bad..I don't kno wut to do either try again later (much later) or move on...help
What is this love? (link)
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This is quite a difficult question 'cause it depends on the situation, but I'll try to help as much as I can!
Firstly, he might have just have said he doesn't like you because he was shocked or in a difficult situation. If you talk to him regulary and you get on well, then there might be a chance thathe does actually like you. If you think that this might be the case, then yeah, try again later. You've got nothing to lose!
I think the love that you're talking about probably is just ione hell of a big crush. I've been there before and it's nasty-but you WILL get through it eventually.
If you're really sure he doesn't like you, it's gotta be time to let go. Flirt your socks off (though not literally, lol!) with any other boy and go out with your friends as much as possible.
You will like someone else again soon-and I'm sure they'll like you back :-)
Good luck and I hope I helped!
Sophie xxx
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wow, I don't really know what category to put this under, so I guess it works under friendship.. kinda. Anyway, I started cutting, I don't know why but I did. I don't want to, but it's really addicting.. 0.o so it's hard for me to stop. Only on of my friends knows and I just met him and I like him alot.. he cuts to, so I feel conferdable talking to him about this.. he doesn't do it so much anymore but I wonder if he is worried about me, I know my step brother is.. he knows to. Well he doesn't really know he just thinks I do it and he knows that I have a BiG possibatly of doing it.
When I look at my scares.. I cry, and I think 'is this really who I am?? is this really me??' cause I don't seem like this kinda girl who would do this.. I am real caring and nice and funny.. so I don't get it.. how do I stop.. do you have anything to tell me about what I wrote? just anything, please.. I wana stop.
--Thanks.--
--I rate all 5s-- (link)
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Cutting is a difficult issue because I guess it's different for all cutters.
There's lots of websites which'll help, www.younglivin.org.uk/advice/ advice_relationships/self_harm.htm and www.lcet.org/selfharm are a couple.
One of the ways that my friend found useful was this: whenever you feel the need to cut, draw on the cuts in red felt pen instead.
Good luck, hun, you will get through it eventually. Stand tall!
Sophie xxx
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Ok, i don't know what to put this under ..
Prom is coming up and i have my dress and all ..
But it shows my shoulders/back .. I brake out on my back SO bad i can only get it cleared during the summer b/c i lay out in the sun/tanning bed ..
Any way to get it clear in like 1 month or less ??
Thanks Bunches !! (link)
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Yeah. Clearisil and lots of other brands do great lotions for your back, which you can just get from your local chemist of whatever. They're not that expensive and get to work pretty quick.
Good luck and enjoy the prom!
Sophie xxx
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On Wednesday in school I asked my friend if she wanted to go to the movies afterschool on Thursday. She said she'd go home and ask her mom, yada yada. Well, on Thursday she didn't know if she could go for sure, so she told me to call her when I got home. When I got home, I called her and she couldn't go because she said 'her mom was going to a party'. Well, later that night..thanks to her other friends away messages, I found out she was at her other friends house. I know for a fact this girl invited her over that very day, and I had invited her on wednesday. Wtf is her problem? Should I confront her about it, or what..cause that just pisses me off. And, she's ALWAYS doing stuff with this girl, she has no freaking time for anyone else. (link)
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Yeah, you should confront her.
What's she's done isn't very nice at all, and if you confront her, she's either a) going to be very sorry, b) not going to be sorry at all or c)pretend it's not true.
If she's sorry, it's up to you if you want to forgive her or not.
If it's either of the other two, then I think that you should leave her as a best friend for a bit. She's not worth you, and I totally understand why it pisses you off.
Good luck and I hope I helped,
Sophie xxx
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theres this girl i dont just have a crush on ive nown her since well (for americans kindergarten)
(for uk reception) and i love her with all my heart she has a bf but i lov her so much i dont know what to do she gave me my first kiss and she has always been there for me but she met this guy i dont know what to do ive nearly told her i love her but chickened out help me please
ill rate huge
despratley needing help
sam (link)
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I know how you feel because I've been in the situation before.
If the relationahip she's in now is not serious OR you think that she might still like you, I'd tell her. You've got nothing to lose. After you've told her, you're going to have a good answer or a bad answer. If it's good then great-you've got everything you wanted. And if it's not, then though it's not great, you're in no worse of a situation than you were before. If you don't tell her, you'll regret it.
Good luck,
Sophie xxx
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i just bought certain dri last night and i put it on and my armpits started tinglinng and itching and first but then they stopped... is this normal/ok?
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Yeah that's OK-it's just your skin getting used to it, I promise :-)
Hope I helped,
Sophie xxx
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Well over the weekend I'm stuck with a huge project over the weekend and...its a group project and two of the guys in the group goof off all the time and are failing the class and the other guy is a cute,nice,funny guy I flirt and joke around with sometimes. He's into the project but he's not into getting everything together. I've got this amazingly funny and fun idea for the project, and the only way I'm gonna get it done is if I do it all by myself. So my question is, do people hate it if you do all the work? Does doing all the work piss people off? Will the guy not like me anymore if I do it by myself?
Thanks so much for helping! :-) (link)
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I don't think the two dudes who are failing the class and goof around will hate you-they'll probably totally appreciate it.
If I were you I'd ask the cuter guy if it's OK that you do most of the work. I don't think he'd mind; he'll probably trust you and be glad that someone at least is doing it. I can't see him getting into a really big mood with you or anything-there isn't really any reason for him to do so.
Good luck (with the project and with the sweet guy!)
Sophie xxx
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I have been having sever pain around my bladder and that area. I know I have a cyst on both of my overies, and they could be getting bigger. I am scared to go to the doctor, because I don't like getting invaded. Should I go no matter what? (link)
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Yeah, you definitely should. I know it might seem really embarrassing, but it's better that than becoming seriously ill or whatever.
You can ask for a female doctor and they probably see this sort of thing all of the time, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. You'll be glad you did someday.
Good luck hun,
Sophie xxx
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I really like this kid and he says he likes me. We talk on the phone all the time and he says how much he likes me, and he always ends our conversations with, I love you. One problem, he has a girlfriend but he doesnt want to dump her because he doesnt want to hurt her. I really like him what should I do? (link)
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I think that you'll have to tell him to end it with her, because otherwise then, in a way, you're cheating.
It sounds to me as though you make a great couple and I think that you should tell him that.
You will hurt the girl, obviously, but you'll hurt her more if the girl finds out what's been going on behind her back.
Hope I helped,
Good luck hun,
Sophie xxx
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does anyone have any favorite quotes or liefly lessons? (link)
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Yeah, I have lots. I'll write a few down and take any you like:
*What doesn't kill us makes us stronger
*The only reason anybody would hate you is because they want to be like you.
*Life's a bitch. Times change. Get over it.
*It's not always rainbows and butterflies
*You'll never get to heaven if you're scared of getting high
*You can't manufacture a miracle.
*Smile and see what happens
*The pages you turn are the lessons you learn
Sorry if these weren't the type of things you wanted, but if they were, drop me a note and I'll get some more :)
Hope I helped,
Sophie xxx
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what is the best way to excercise to get rid of that pooch thing below your belly button? or your "love handels" ??? i need help! and is it true that little pooch thing sticks out more when your on your period? mine does i think (link)
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Yeah, that is true :(
The best thing exercises you can do to get rid of them are sit-ups and crunches. Apart from that, you'll have to stick to the usual-healthy diet, etc. It should disappear in no time.
Good luck!
Sophie xxx
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i feel the need for a girl friend, just to hear the comfort words i love you or sumthing. is that rong or right im like undicided. is it sick or ok??????? (link)
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No it's not sick or anything like that, it's normal. Everyone wants that in their lives, and I'm sure that you'll find a girlfriend soon who's just right for you.
Good luck,
Sophie xxx
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Well my bestfriend and i are fighting a lot. i am moving now and i don't want to leave on a bad notice. She said to me "i don't care if you are moving.' That really hurt my feelings what should i do
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Call her up and tell her that you don't want to leave on a bad note. Tell her you appreciate her friendship and would like to keep in touch.
Even if she turns you down, you've got nothing to lose. If you leave without trying anything, then you'll probably regret it forever.
Good lucl hun!
Sophie xxx
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A girl in my group of friends who i HATE is moving ..all my friends are like crying but i cant wait till she moves -is this wrong of me? Im kind of confused and its hard to keep it from my friend but i know if i told them i was happy theyd think i was a bitch ..what do i do?? (link)
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No, this doesn't make you a bad person or a bitch. he chances are that you have a good reason not to like her, and I wouldn't worry about that. If I were you, I'd continue to be glad because soon she'll be out of your life!
Don't tell any of your friends that you don't like her-pretend to be sad too. If you do this, you can't hurt anyone and I can't see much going wrong.
Try to be nice to the girl on the last few days, too. You'll be glad you did someday.
Hope I helped and good luck!
Sophie xxx
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(Sorry if this turns out really long!) I've only been cutting myself for a little over two weeks but I'm already addicted. I told my boyfriend first because I vent to him a lot. I trust him and he can comfort me. Then later I told my teacher and she suggested for me to talk to my school counselor. My teacher told my parents, too. My mom talked to me but it wasn't about ME, it was about what my sister went through. It wasn't helpful. So I talked to the couselor. She freaked out and kept telling me, "You can't do that! STOP! You have to stop! If you do it again I'll tell the principal!" That is not what I expected from her. It wasn't helpful or encouraging. It was threatening! It almost made me want to cut! Later that day I was sitting alone in the gym slicing the skin on my arms and my Gym/Health teacher saw me and made me go alone in a room with him to talk. He kept telling me that even though life may suck now, it'll get better because I "have a good mind". I didn't think it was helpful either, but I started crying. Everytime I had to talk to someone, I wanted my boyfriend there holding my hand helping me endure it. I feel uncomfotable around everyone but him. One day my teacher actually tried to send me home because I was cutting and crying and miserable. I told her I didn't want to go home, I just wanted to talk to James. (James is my boyfriend.) She said she couldn't let him out of class. I glared at her and wouldn't talk to her. She called my parents and they took me home. The whole time I wanted to scream, "I JUST WANT JAMES!" When I got home I just reread old notes from my bf. He's the only one who can comfort me and it feels like he's the only reason I go on living. Do I depend on him too much? How can I stop cutting if I have nobody to talk to? Please comment or give advice! Sorry so long! (link)
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Firstly, you're somewhat lucky by that you do have him at least-some people have nobody to turn to.
Do you think, though, that James would want you to cut however much he loves you and you love him?
There's many sites and books at the library which will help you and hopefully LOADS of better counsellers out there-what the one you talked to did to you was horrible. Don't be deterred by that.
It does sound like you're a little obsessive with James. Try to just begin talking to a few people in your classes, or something. You don't have to become best buds with them or anything like that but it might help to just have a couple of other people to talk to every now and again.
Good luck!
Sophie xxx
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i really like this guy... and he likes me too.. and heres the problem... hes 18... im 14.. and my mom wont let me go anywhere w/out her when im with a guy.. so i cant ever go anywhere with him.. and he doesnt go to my school.. and my mom just said im not allowed to talk to him since hes 18.. what should i do? (link)
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I know you've probably heard this loads of times before, but hun, you are too young for him.
Try to slowly let go of him and branch out to someone your own age-and then your Mom won't mind so much!
Good luck,
Sophie xxx
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